I'd say you have nothing to worry about, Lilith Aensland is not a Loli character even remotely. In general "loli" requires a little girl, and Lilith is not that. Lilith is physically a young woman, not a little girl. Her not having gigantic breasts and so on has nothing to do with whether something is Loli or not.
Lilith's big schtick is that she's a divided portion of Morrigan's soul. Morrigan looks like the typical sex bomb succubus, and acts like a total sex bomb harlot most of the time, but is actually fairly noble and one of the "good guys" when you get down to the bottom line. Lilith is exactly the opposite in that she's attractive but has a more lithe build, acts innocent and naive (though is still a succubus so throws out some odd contridictions to that demeanor) and when you get down to it is outright evil.
In that universe there *IS* a "loli" character in the form of B.B. Hood/Buletta, who is supposed to look like an innocent little girl, even if she's a hardened mercenary. Allowing for the stylization of the artwork you can look at her to see what "girl" looks like compared to "young woman".
Now yes, Lilith is a cheesecake character, there is no doubt about that, the same can be said of most female fighting game characters, but she's hardly the most disturbing one I can think of.
I'll also say that when your considering "lolicon" and your reaction to SOME things that fall under that umbrella that there isn't that much to be worried about or ashamed of. The term "Jailbait" exists for a reason, and you'll notice that "teen experience" movies and such sell really well, things like Porky's, American Pie, and other similar works. The bottom line is that teenagers are expected to be attracted to other teenagers, and biological impulses don't suddenly vanish when you turn 18. It's just that adults are expected to have the self control to not bang kids, because of the potential fallout from children unable to deal with that. The way you think and act as an adult is FAR differant from when you were a teenager.
In general when lolicon gets disturbing is when it features REALLY little kids, pre-sexual humans as opposed to teenagers, who by all measures are sexually active in amongst themselves (and nothing will change that, which is why I am a supporter of school condom distribution rather than trying to force abstinance... adults should stay away from teens regardless however).
Basically if your wary about a relationship (or just sex) with someone who seems too young or "innocent" then kudos for you, that just means your responsible. An appreciation for a character like Lilith if you go for the style of art is pretty normal. Someone who say wants to bang Sasami/Pretty Sammy from Tenchi Muyo... well that's when you start getting into the creeptastic.
At the same time, I'll also say that when dealing with pure fantasy a lot of the regular rules don't apply. A character like Buffy The Vampire Slayer getting it on with Angel.. basically a 30 year old dude physically who is actually centuries old with a 16-17 year old girl (not sure of Buffy's actual age, but this happened before she graduated High School so she definatly wasn't legal) more or less gets a pass, and even has been shown on mainstream TV because it's pure fantasy. Real laws and protections weren't written with things like super heroes and vampires in mind given that they do not exist.
I think "Piers Anthony" who is a pretty mainstream author (or has been) probably takes the cake for pushing the whole "alternative sexual morality in fantasy" thing over the years.
In short I don't care, and I doubt many other people do. Lilith isn't even that ambigious overall, and it's not like your having issues with wanting to seduce 11 year olds or whatever.
My personal guideline for when something is going too far is when you have characters younger than 14 (High School Freshman) involved in any kind of sexual action. Largely because you can justify 14 in the catagory of "teen romance", anything younger than that is pretty much pre-sexual, and you really shouldn't be going there... at all. Really though a lot of it just comes down to the simple belief that it would be ridiculous to ban every movie or story that has the basic plot of "stupid freshmen try and get with hot senior girls, and succeed... but all this screwed up stuff happens on the way" which is a plotline that more or less defines hundreds of movies of the kind people find funny... or perhaps even relevent if they happen to be of the age in question.
