Do you ever get the feeling that your games are just fucking with you?

[ReservoirAngel]

Seriously, I can't be the only person who sometimes just gets the impression that the game I'm playing is taking some sort of sick glee in just jerking me around for its own demented, GLaDOS-like amusement.

What inspired this you ask? Fable 2, that's what. Get this: I needed a new pistol to replace my shitty one. So I checked around and found one trader: the Pistol Trader in Fairfax Gardens. Problem was I needed 1000 more gold to be able to afford the best pistol they had in stock.

So I go back to Bowerstone Market to grind out some gold at the Blacksmith's job opening. I get what I need and head back to the Gardens, only to find that all of a sudden the Pistol trader is out of stock. It says to check back in a few days. Okay, fine. I go and sleep for a week then head back there. Only to find that the Pistol Trader isn't there. In her place are 3 Weapons Traders all only carrying shitty entry-level crossbows, and 2 Rifle Traders.

What follows is what seems like forever of me going back to the Market, sleeping for 24 hours, then heading back to the Gardens to check the traders. What must be several in-game weeks pass while I'm doing this and then, vindication! The Pistol Trader is there. I walk up to her, giddy with anticipation...

"Out of stock. Check back in a few days." ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? This is the first day you've been here, and I've watched you... you never talk to anyone. You just amble around. And you had 8 pistols in stock last time you had any. No way did 8 of these poncy fuckers round here buy them! And if you didn't have any stock, why the fuck did you come here!?

Just.... FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, fuck that shit! I did eventually get my pistol (for a severely inflated price, since she was apparently doing well enough despite having no fucking stock for a couple of weeks that she added 30% onto her prices) but holy hell... fuck you Fable 2. You've won this round, but I have a hammer downstairs. You've been fucking warned!

*takes pills*

Okay, I'm good now. So, what are your tales of games randomly jerking you around?

 

[Xprimentyl]

Borderlands.

Boasts something like 16 million supposedly randomized weapon spec combinations, yet every gun seems to to balanced to have one stat boosted and another complete shit; you NEVER find the perfect combination: High power? No scope. Scope? Shitty power. Elemental effect? Sweet! Accuracy? Ass. And forget about trying to find the holy grail of the perfect combination of power, accuracy, fire rate, elemental effect AND zoom! Will. Not. Happen. What ensues is a 69 level grind of picking up and dropping the same four guns with slightly different specs. And just when you get a decent gun, you level up and the same four guns that got you this far now, at best, cause minor skin irritation because the baddies level up with you; your search for guns starts over. It's not so much the advertised "Gun Porn" as it is just painful marathon masturbating to the view through a gun store's front window. I carried 15 SMGs because each had one decent spec; if I could only find a way to get them to form Voltron or some shit...

 

[ChillzMaster]

I start up Resident Evil 5 with good intentions, it's holiday 2010 and I've decided to get a few games I missed from when I first picked up my 360 in early 2009. I expect an excellent zombie game that might scare me a little less than Dead Space. What I got were three levels (i only got that far, more to explain) of a very awesome game with off shooter-mechanics with extremely limited ammo and a visual style that descended into the deepest point of the Uncanny Valley and STAYED THERE.

I started playing and was like "Ugh... damn you capcom and your stand-still shooter mechanics" But i got over it because nailing headshots on zombies never gets old, and in this game you could also give zombies a good knuckle sandwich, a fantasy I've always wanted. Then the game throws a giant zombie with an Axe at me that will kill me in a single hit ON THE FIRST LEVEL. I got over it, because he really was slow and all I had to do was survive for a minute or so, so no complaints.

Then the game threw Devil Dogs at me. Again, I've faced World At War dogs, the scariest dogs in a video game to date, so I wasn't too put off by it. Then the game decided to rip my skin open and pour salt in while singing Beethoven's 5th EVER SO FLAT. I was traversing a level and was following a narrow route when a cutscene began. And the game threw a very tall zombie with a sack on its head and a CHAINSAW. W... T... F...

I can deal with Fast Zombies, L4D has trained me better, but a zombie with a CHAINSAW??? Really??? It wouldn't be so much of a problem if it wasn't for the fact that he takes like 5 headshots using that ridiculously difficult shooting mechanic and can take punches and explosions like Jason Statham on steroids and 'shrooms.

So I pleaded with Capcom, no more zombies with Chainsaws. And they answered my prayers, giving me a Gears of War-esque "divide and conquer" coop section. Then a truck crashed and a wasp-scorpion-bat the size of Montana attacked me.

Goddamnit.

-Chillz

 

[Kevlar Eater]

I've had this happen in Guild Wars, and it never fails. Anytime I go out to vanquish an area (kill every last enemy in an instanced area) and I didn't bring any lockpicks, chests pop up EVERYWHERE! And when I do bring lockpicks, chests are nowhere to be found. And when I do find a chest, I get worthless garbage.

 

[crono738]

God of War.

There's a part in the later half where you have to balance on some bars while blades spin all over the place. The camera decides to freak out when you land, not showing the next blades coming for you, and I died a lot. Then the piece of shit game 'recommends' that I lower the difficulty, WHICH ONLY AFFECTS THE ENEMY HP AND STR!!!

I have never felt a game was actually mocking me before then.

This. The entirety of GoW1's Path of Hades pissed me off. God damn spinning meat tower bullshit...

 

[hazabaza1]

Some points in Valkyria Chronicles 2.
Okay, so get these three capture points. Simple enough.
Oh, the enemy gets reinforcements ever turn? Meh, I can take them out faster than they come.
They... they have someone who can one-shot my tank? Well, I guess I can still kill hi-Okay then he's invincible. Right, stay out of his melee ra-righto then he can switch between gun and hammer and change areas every turn at will.
Right. Perfect. Great. I swear, half of those missions are just luck based.

 

[Zhukov]

There's a certain point in Assassin's Creed II where you have to make a particular jump.

It's not a hard jump, pretty similar to the 11,045 or so that you will already have made.

However...

Right in the middle of the jump the camera swings around, causing your left input to become right. Ezio promptly falls in a puddle, making you start the obstacle sequence over again. It's completely beyond your control and happens every damn time.

I honestly think someone at Ubisoft did it as a prank. "Complain about our DRM will you, you whiny little bitches? A few spazzy cameras will shut you up!"

 

[Delsana]

Seriously, I can't be the only person who sometimes just gets the impression that the game I'm playing is taking some sort of sick glee in just jerking me around for its own demented, GLaDOS-like amusement.

What inspired this you ask? Fable 2, that's what. Get this: I needed a new pistol to replace my shitty one. So I checked around and found one trader: the Pistol Trader in Fairfax Gardens. Problem was I needed 1000 more gold to be able to afford the best pistol they had in stock.

So I go back to Bowerstone Market to grind out some gold at the Blacksmith's job opening. I get what I need and head back to the Gardens, only to find that all of a sudden the Pistol trader is out of stock. It says to check back in a few days. Okay, fine. I go and sleep for a week then head back there. Only to find that the Pistol Trader isn't there. In her place are 3 Weapons Traders all only carrying shitty entry-level crossbows, and 2 Rifle Traders.

What follows is what seems like forever of me going back to the Market, sleeping for 24 hours, then heading back to the Gardens to check the traders. What must be several in-game weeks pass while I'm doing this and then, vindication! The Pistol Trader is there. I walk up to her, giddy with anticipation...

"Out of stock. Check back in a few days." ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? This is the first day you've been here, and I've watched you... you never talk to anyone. You just amble around. And you had 8 pistols in stock last time you had any. No way did 8 of these poncy fuckers round here buy them! And if you didn't have any stock, why the fuck did you come here!?

Just.... FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, fuck that shit! I did eventually get my pistol (for a severely inflated price, since she was apparently doing well enough despite having no fucking stock for a couple of weeks that she added 30% onto her prices) but holy hell... fuck you Fable 2. You've won this round, but I have a hammer downstairs. You've been fucking warned!

*takes pills*

Okay, I'm good now. So, what are your tales of games randomly jerking you around?

I think RPG's always consort to give me the worst possible items possible and so I... well I usually use the cheat item to give me what I think I'd have found / could afford / deserve at the higher levels (and usually a good medium level weapon) if it happens after numerous playthroughs.

I do honestly make sure not to overpower myself and I even deduct gold I would have bought said items with if I could find them.

I'm saving the world here BETTER GIVE ME SOME GOOD EQUIPMENT LESS I DIE.

LIGHT SABER CRYSTALS... Oh in hells name I hate light saber crystals and they hate me.

As for Fable II, the bandits probably stole the shipments or the big evil is toying with you and the merchant was bought out by him... I honestly never saw anything sold out when I owned every single shop in the Fable 2 universe same as every house and could evict ANY OF THEM should I choose to.

Oh and MechWarrior toys with me... never giving me that Clan LRM15 until I DON'T NEED IT.

 

[Aeshi]

Borderlands.

Boasts something like 16 million supposedly randomized weapon spec combinations, yet every gun seems to to balanced to have one stat boosted and another complete shit; you NEVER find the perfect combination: High power? No scope. Scope? Shitty power. Elemental effect? Sweet! Accuracy? Ass. And forget about trying to find the holy grail of the perfect combination of power, accuracy, fire rate, elemental effect AND zoom! Will. Not. Happen. What ensues is a 69 level grind of picking up and dropping the same four guns with slightly different specs. And just when you get a decent gun, you level up and the same four guns that got you this far now, at best, cause minor skin irritation because the baddies level up with you; your search for guns starts over. It's not so much the advertised "Gun Porn" as it is just painful marathon masturbating to the view through a gun store's front window. I carried 15 SMGs because each had one decent spec; if I could only find a way to get them to form Voltron or some shit...

I've played to level 52 and most of the guns I've found tend to be reasonably balanced, maybe you're just unlucky? (Although I play 2-player with my brother so maybe that has something to do with it?)

Plus I've heard that in Borderlands 2 you'll be able to take guns apart and use the parts to build your own gun.

 

[Neverhoodian]

X-COM: UFO Defense. The entire goddamn game.

Squad member rounds a corner, gets one-shotted by an alien's reaction fire. Position your soldiers to breach a door, alien fires a blaster bomb and kills everyone. Order a soldier to fire on an alien, misses every shot. Alien mind control always seems to target your soldiers with the weakest bravery. You're having a great month, only to have a Snakeman or Ethereal terror mission 25 days in.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

I've never played the sequel Terror from the Deep, but I've heard that one's even more sadistic.

 

[Jakub324]

S.T.A.L.K.E.R. You know the night vision? All it does is slip a green or purple filter over your eyes and you still can't see shit. Of course, I didn't turn it on until I was running around at night trying to avoid Pripyat's Snork population. FUCK YOU, GAME!

 

[Zantos]

God of War.

There's a part in the later half where you have to balance on some bars while blades spin all over the place. The camera decides to freak out (completely taking away your control over it) when you land, not showing the next blades coming for you, and I died a lot. Then the piece of shit game 'recommends' that I lower the difficulty, WHICH ONLY AFFECTS THE ENEMY HP AND STR!!!

I have never felt a game was actually mocking me before then.

There were so many problems I had like this due to God of War's "It's my camera, get your own!" attitude. Especially God of War 3 which appeared to be designed to piss off the people that don't own large fancy modern TVs.

 

[MurderousToaster]

I start up Resident Evil 5 with good intentions, it's holiday 2010 and I've decided to get a few games I missed from when I first picked up my 360 in early 2009. I expect an excellent zombie game that might scare me a little less than Dead Space. What I got were three levels (i only got that far, more to explain) of a very awesome game with off shooter-mechanics with extremely limited ammo and a visual style that descended into the deepest point of the Uncanny Valley and STAYED THERE.

I started playing and was like "Ugh... damn you capcom and your stand-still shooter mechanics" But i got over it because nailing headshots on zombies never gets old, and in this game you could also give zombies a good knuckle sandwich, a fantasy I've always wanted. Then the game throws a giant zombie with an Axe at me that will kill me in a single hit ON THE FIRST LEVEL. I got over it, because he really was slow and all I had to do was survive for a minute or so, so no complaints.

Then the game threw Devil Dogs at me. Again, I've faced World At War dogs, the scariest dogs in a video game to date, so I wasn't too put off by it. Then the game decided to rip my skin open and pour salt in while singing Beethoven's 5th EVER SO FLAT. I was traversing a level and was following a narrow route when a cutscene began. And the game threw a very tall zombie with a sack on its head and a CHAINSAW. W... T... F...

I can deal with Fast Zombies, L4D has trained me better, but a zombie with a CHAINSAW??? Really??? It wouldn't be so much of a problem if it wasn't for the fact that he takes like 5 headshots using that ridiculously difficult shooting mechanic and can take punches and explosions like Jason Statham on steroids and 'shrooms.

So I pleaded with Capcom, no more zombies with Chainsaws. And they answered my prayers, giving me a Gears of War-esque "divide and conquer" coop section. Then a truck crashed and a wasp-scorpion-bat the size of Montana attacked me.

Goddamnit.

-Chillz

I also had a "fuck off, game" experience with RE5.

I had got to the very end of the game, and had to go, so I turned off my console. When I go back to complete the game (which I do) it doesn't recognise my completion, and bumps my checkpoint back a whole fucking level. So I go and complete the game again. It ignores my completion once more and bumps me back again.

I turned that game off and never played it again.

 

[Sleepy Sol]

Instant death spells in any game. For example, I've been playing Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey a lot over the past 2 weeks. One boss summons an enemy that has one of those spells every few turns. After killing the boss you still have to defeat the enemy; it used the same spell 3 times in a row on my main character, which for the uninformed means a game over if it connects. Luckily it never actually hit, but I was sitting on the edge of my seat wondering if the game was just fucking with me.

 

[gonzo20]

Instant death spells in any game. For example, I've been playing Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey a lot over the past 2 weeks. One boss summons an enemy that has one of those spells every few turns. After killing the boss you still have to defeat the enemy; it used the same spell 3 times in a row on my main character, which for the uninformed means a game over if it connects. Luckily it never actually hit, but I was sitting on the edge of my seat wondering if the game was just fucking with me.

lol you would really hate baldurs gate 2 then, almost every mage has a death spell but luckily for me it never really hits my main character or its always a saving roll but you still think "oh shit oh shit oh phew!"

well mostly ill be breezing through a section of deus ex (number one) and somehow, some random NSF or UNATCO soldier spots me and ends up turning on the alarm "bwee bwoo bwee bwoo" and it just. makes. me. rage!

 

[Sassafrass]

Banjo-Kazooie from the XBL Arcade.

Whoever programmed the camera to suddenly change angle and send me spearing off a cliff on about 50 occasions is going to get a cactus to the ass if I find out who did that. I don't remember it being that bad on the N64.

 

[Baldr]

I was playing Limbo, it makes me laugh because everything is setup to mess you.

 

[Reaper195]

I Wanna Be The Guy. That game was made to do nothing but fuck with you. You spend an hour trying to get past a single screen, you succeed at getting past all these fucking spikey things through perfectly timed jumps....only for the pattern to change completely about midway through and kill you. And then it does it three more times. I got a total of nine screens. I hate that game with such a passion.

 

[The Wykydtron]

The Answer in Persona 3, since you can't change the difficulty from "i will kill you and piss on your grave" mode.

It's alright though! You have infinite time to grind lvls to beat the bosses... You know the Social Link mechanic you invented exists to stop (or at least severely reduce) all that lvl grinding bullshit don't you Atlus?