Do you look people in the eyes when you talk to them?
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Why in the world would I look someone in the eye? From my experience, it frightens women and angers men and other animals, so I deem it best to look down.
I do for short periods at a time, out of respect. I might look them in the eye for a few seconds, then look around or down, then look in the eye for another few seconds and repeat. I don't stare into deep into their soul or any shit like that, but I think it's a part of respect to at least look them in the eyes now and again in a conversation.
Yes always. I stare right through their eyes to whatever is behind them. Total focus, which yes, makes people sometimes very uncomfortable, but they always know I am paying attention to the conversation and nothing else.
Usually, when I'm talking, I will look at their face...but not usually their eyes. A little above the nose, I think, is where I'm usually looking. For the time they're talking, I'm usually doing a combination of glancing to the side and back at them.
(edit) If I could possibly use the word "usually" more in this post...
(edit) If I could possibly use the word "usually" more in this post...
I did my best.BartyMae said:
OT: I prefer talking to women - then I actually have an excuse for avoiding eye contact.
Now seriously - I don't maintain constant eye contact because that's weird, but I do try to keep it. But now that I think of it, there aren't that many face to face conversations that actually go face to face through the entire time - I'd be walking and talking to somebody on the street or doing other stuff, too. It would be a bit unusually to stop and stare at their face, let alone eyes.
It is good manners to do so, but direct eye contact isn't a thing in other countries. Always gotta be sure of the societal norm wherever you're at. For instance, in Mexico, I hear it's generally accepted that you look at someone directly when scolding them, so it's seen as impolite to have direct eye contact in a normal conversation.Amethyst Wind said:People don't? I always have, thought it was good manners to do so.
Also even a slight angle when talking to somebody decreases their ability to hear you clearly by more than you think.
Hmm, thinking about it now this might become a problem where I am (Japan).
Direct eye contact is rude over here I find, (mostly because it's creepy) but it's also polite to look at people you're talking with, so I tend to stare at the area between the eyes.derelict said:It is good manners to do so, but direct eye contact isn't a thing in other countries. Always gotta be sure of the societal norm wherever you're at. For instance, in Mexico, I hear it's generally accepted that you look at someone directly when scolding them, so it's seen as impolite to have direct eye contact in a normal conversation.Amethyst Wind said:People don't? I always have, thought it was good manners to do so.
Also even a slight angle when talking to somebody decreases their ability to hear you clearly by more than you think.
Hmm, thinking about it now this might become a problem where I am (Japan).
Only in formal occasions.
Other wise, I pretend to look at their eyes but in reality I'd look at the wall behind them. It works if we talk to them from a distance.
Other than that I just fiddle around pretending to be busy looking elsewhere.
Other wise, I pretend to look at their eyes but in reality I'd look at the wall behind them. It works if we talk to them from a distance.
Other than that I just fiddle around pretending to be busy looking elsewhere.
I try to look people in the eyes when I talk to them, but I've caugth myself many a times, where I simply look past them instead...
Yes, I look people in the eyes when speaking to them, because to not do so is rude. I often find people who do not look me in the eyes when speaking to me are "shifty", and do not usually allow them to get close to me. They either are nervous, which I try to then make them feel more comfortable, or they are could be untrustworthy, which I then distance myself from them. I certainly do not reconsider a guy if he is staring at my breasts when speaking to me, or if he is not man enough to look me in the eyes when talking to me. What would be the point?
Yes especially if someone is explaining something to me, or we're having a formal conversation (sitting opposite from them, face to face). I've never encountered anyone who was offended by it, some people have found it awkward, but overall they mostly appreciate it. It lets them know they have my full attention. Older people particularly like it.
During casual conversation, my eyes are usually on whatever activity we're sharing, so mostly a movie or a TV screen.
I think it's probably also a cultural thing, I'm in the southern U.S, but it might not be such a good idea in some other parts of the world.
During casual conversation, my eyes are usually on whatever activity we're sharing, so mostly a movie or a TV screen.
I think it's probably also a cultural thing, I'm in the southern U.S, but it might not be such a good idea in some other parts of the world.
I usually do, but I worry if it looks to intense, so I make a point of looking away once in a while to show I'm not staring.
If you want to make people feel uneasy, I hear it is best to stare at the end of their nose - people think they are being looked in the eye, but the near imperceptible difference in angle causes some confusion they can't put their finger on.
If you want to make people feel uneasy, I hear it is best to stare at the end of their nose - people think they are being looked in the eye, but the near imperceptible difference in angle causes some confusion they can't put their finger on.
I have to make eye contact, to me it shows respect and attentiveness.
Its how i was raised. But most people i know from places other than Southern US dont do it nearly as much, so its probably a cultural thing.
Its how i was raised. But most people i know from places other than Southern US dont do it nearly as much, so its probably a cultural thing.
Its a funny question because i rarely ever really think about where my eyes are at when I'm talking. So I think I usually just stare through someone. I think it only becomes awkward when you find yourself actively thinking about it.
I used to be a compulsive liar and I tended to look people in the eyes as it make it easier for them to trust me. I stopped that shit and now I barely look people in the eyes anymore unless they're upset and I'm comforting them. My eyes mainly dart around the space around them or on their lips.