Do you think i'm being selfish?

[John Galt]

You weren't being selfish, unless your choice somehow prevented someone else from having children. In fact, not allowing your genes to compete for resources is actually quite charitable. You're limiting the number of people that will use up a diminishing pool of resources and thus, slightly improving the quality of your life and the lives of those around you. What she should have said was, "Bah, more room for mine then." or something along those lines. Saying that you're being selfish, while understandable(she probably thinks you don't want to share your resources with a child), isn't completely justified.

 

[Larenxis]

It's the opposite of selfish. The earth is overpopulated and somebody has to realize there is a limit to growth and not have unwanted children. I, personally, am very selfish, because I think motherhood would be the greatest thing, and I'd strongly prefer not to adopt. So I bow to you, you're doing what I can't.

 

[cleverlymadeup]

so smart people, get drunk and make a baby. you have some catching up to do if we don't want the world to become dumb.

ok that's a very bad myth and can be very easily be debunked

News Flash! Nineteen year old doesn't want to "ever" have children! Give yourself a few years mate, that feeling of disgust for children will turn into mere contempt.

yeah all the people i know that have said that had kids when they were older

one guy i knew was even convinced by his gf at the time to get the snip, she left him and now he's gotta have major surgery if he ever wants to have kids at all, he never had kids with his now ex

my other friend who was married young, his wife got her tubes tied after kid #2, they split up and now with his new and cooler wife, they are contemplating having kids do he is glad he didn't get the snip

 

[salamifart]

If she wasn't just kneejerking I'd say her reasoning would be something like this: societies are sustained by the people who live in them. Therefore, society needs people to have babies so that the future is relatively assured. Japan, for instance, is going to hell and back soon, because so many people haven't had children. So it might seem selfish to some that you accept the benefits of society- stability, law enforcement etc- yet don't plan to in any way continue it.
Or she could believe that you don't want kids simply because of the burden, which in the strictest sense would be selfish.

Yea but by all means, Japan is one of the smarter countries, and have to pack subways to the brim every minute. If you go on youtube and search Japan Subways, you'll see how highly overcrowded Japan is. Either way you're going to be considered selfish for not wanting a kid. I'm 14, soooooooooooo I really i have no say in this yet. If you think you aren't going to do a good job of parenting, than say to your partner that you're scared or nervous to have a child, and just don't want one. If they agree by any means, they should understand. The world
loses 30 people a second, and gains like 60? I don't know, something like that. All I know the World's population is growing every second, and you're not the only one that wonders this. I'm sure every second people wonder about this, and don't want to have a kid. In the end, they keep their decision, others don't. I won't know for another 5-10 years, so yeah.

 

[Sirisaxman]

No, you are not being selfish at all. Honestly, our population is big enough as it is, and, barring a worldwide disaster, will probably continue to grow. As it grows, resources will dwindle faster and faster, with less and less people having access to their "share" of food, water, etc.

I think we need more people like you who DON'T want to have kids, because unless we curb our population growth, a shortage of supplies on a global scale grows more likely.

 

[Knight Templar]

Nah. By the logic you're selfish if you deprive a potential life, it'd be impossible not to be selfish, due to the minor problem of constantly producing gametes. One person deciding not to be a parent is not selfish. If you were in a relationship where your partner dearly wanted to be a parent, and you were capable of supporting a child, then it's more of a grey area. But the human race ain't in danger of dying out, and burdening both yourself with a child you don't want, and the child with a half-hearted parent isn't exactly the moral high-ground far as I can see.

Couldn't have said it beter myself.

 

[WlknCntrdiction]

Thanks for all the replies guys, i didnt reply because i went to bed, im still knackered now lol.

Depends on your age. What she's probably looking at is your girlfriend who may want/need them. It'd only really be selfish if you prevented your girlfriend from getting pregnant because of that; and that's really something you'll have to discuss with her when the time's right.

I don't have a girlfriend, well not anymore anyway so thats not a problem, but i do know that my ex is anti-abortion so if we ever got back together(shes on the rebound atm)i would have to watch myself, thank god shes on the pill.

I know there are better people out there than me who could look after children and bring them up right but im not one of them. I do find it scary being responsible for my "mini me" if you will, i can handle looking after my little bros because they're my bros, but looking looking after, caring for, teaching a small child from the time its born to the time it leaves the nest is alot of work and i don't think i would be able to handle that, i would rather leave it up to the people who can handle it, at least they can give a child a worthwhile life.

EDIT: And on that note i am off to work, shall be back soon

 

[werepossum]

News Flash! Nineteen year old doesn't want to "ever" have children! Give yourself a few years mate, that feeling of disgust for children will turn into mere contempt.

Laughing my ass off!

It's not selfish to not want to have children, but for most people that feeling does change. Personally I wish no teenagers felt ready to become fathers. The teenagers who do become parents tend to be either very settled and self-confident, unlucky with birth control, or just plain idiots. Unfortunately the numbers in each of those groups seem to increase exponentially in order of listing.

Easykill - you seem pretty sharp for sixteen, but you are not now the person you will be at twenty or thirty. Adoption is blessed, true, but generic hearing loss is hardly the deciding factor of good parenting.

As to global overpopulation, that's a good point but the poorest and most backward nations tend to have the most children. Western civilizations (and I include Japan here) reducing the number of children only weakens Western nations in comparison to Third-World and less developed New World nations.

 

[Saskwach]

As to global overpopulation, that's a good point but the poorest and most backward nations tend to have the most children. Western civilizations (and I include Japan here) reducing the number of children only weakens Western nations in comparison to Third-World and less developed New World nations.

This is the important thing. You can't reel out the "overpopulation" argument in the Western world because all Western nations, with the exception of Israel and the US, are grasping and clawing to even get their fertility rates up to replacement level.

 

[Gooble]

That's in no way selfish. You're not doing it to spite anyone or your unconceived childP) and one less child means a slightly lesser population, which the world really needs atm.

And to saskwach, the world's overpopulated as it is, we dont need a replacement level yet.

 

[GrumpyOldSod]

It's not selfish.

If you feel you can't give that kid a good life and a solid upbringing, then don't fucking bother.

It's these lazy cunts who (in England at least) seem to WANT to have kids, just to get a free fucking council house, free fucking money, and all the other shit normal people have to fucking WORK for.

And then people wonder why our fair island is in such a state where chavs are running rampant, because they've not no discipline, because if you can't be fucking bothered to get a job to provide for your family, you sure as fuck can't be bothered to dicipline your kids properly, to make sure they grow up well adjusted members of society.

If you feel you're not up to the job, don't fucking do it. It's not selfish, it's common fucking sense.

I agree completely and this is why I personally believe that all chavs and chavettes (a chavalanche?) should be rounded up and rendered infertile through various means. Let the scum die out and roll on the decent people. Lower taxes, less crime... woo. Me jaded? Never.

 

[Saskwach]

And to saskwach, the world's overpopulated as it is, we dont need a replacement level yet.

Globablly, it'd be nice to reduce the population or hold it steady, but the problem of overpopulation isn't something that western countries are having; quite the opposite, in fact. So, India, say, could definitely use more people like Wlkn Contradiction (if that were economically feasible) but Japan could use fewer people like WC. Population density is not homogeneous, so its problems and solutions aren't identical, either.

 

[AnGeL.SLayer]

hmm, That is an interesting question. I think your boss took it as being selfish because your reasons for not wanting a child are only based around what you want...which is being selfish...in a sense. Now say if you where with a girl you where madly in love with and she wanted children, would you give her one? or stick to your initial feelings? I think that's when you could start to say if it was selfish or not. It doesn't take one person to raise a child, everything you do and say isn't gonna make or break that child, it'll have it's effect but it's everyone in that child's life that makes it who it is. If your with a woman you love, why would her effecting how a child is raised be a bad thing?

A lot of the problem is that finishing school, getting a job, getting married, having kids and living happily ever after is what we are all told we should be trying to accomplish. Everyone failed to mention it doesn't ever go about as easy as they seem to make it sound. So what if you don't want the 'typical life' like everyone else is searching for. Your young and children should be the last thing on your mind anyway. All I can say is that perhaps you shouldn't be so fast to make it never an option. You don't know who you will become down the road over the years. Your 19 year old self may not wants kids, but perhaps your 30 year old self will. Who knows, only time will tell.


^_^

 

[mshcherbatskaya]

You boss may be a nice lady and all, but her level of thought-policing here is just absurd. Everyone is sort of giving her the benefit of the doubt as maybe having actual reasons for saying what she said, but quite frankly, I think what makes you "selfish" in her eyes is simply refusing to agree with her and validate her life-choices.

Selfishness is prioritizing your needs over the needs of the people around you (implied: to an unreasonable degree.) Not wanting kids is not selfish. Demanding that other people uniformly express the wish to mate and reproduce in an appropriate fashion in order to prop up one's own certainty in the rightness of one's worldview - that's selfish.

 

[Easykill]

Saskwach, I was thinking we should just, you know, IMPORT those guys from third world countries over here. Solves all problems, and we can pick and choose the best people to bring over. Besides, humanity isn't even close to being in danger, it doesn't matter.

As for werepossum- I don't see myself ever valuing someone more just because we have some of the same genes, and if I ever do, I won't be the same person; so I don't mind screwing him over by getting a vasectomy. Adoption or nothing for me I think.

 

[Giri]

OK simply NO IT IS NOT SELFISH...wow man your boss lady must be a ***** to say it like that...I mean who, when someone expresses an opinion such as "I don't want to have kids" just downright says "that's selfish! don't ever say that again!" people like that simply aggrivate me, cause one, she shoved her opinion down your throat, and two, she made you feel bad about your opinion...to go over the point again, NO you are not being selfish, of course not.

 

[Programmed_For_Damage]

It's always a touchy subject this one. I don't think you are being selfish, you are being honest. The worst thing you could do is have a child for all the wrong reasons or have one if you aren't ready to raise one. Believe me I know, I have a three year old daughter and a few of my friends have commented that it's like "a kid trying to raise a kid". My daughter is never neglected or in any danger of any harm, however I'm mentally not mature enough to fully handle the responsibility of full time parenting (which thank God I'm not in that situation). It's a really tough job and I tip my hat to any parent.

I was thinking of getting a vasectomy as I am 95% sure I don't want any more kids, but then people get in your head and say what if you meet someone who 100% wants kids. I can't unequivocally rule that. It's a tough call.