Do you think i'm being selfish?

[Xhumed]

I'd say you sounded more afraid than selfish, but thats just me. Personally, I'm looking forward to the challenges and rewards of parenthood, but then I'm good with kids. It might become selfish if you're with a partner who wants children, however, and you steadfastly refuse.

 

[Mr. Purple]

Its not selfish. Its your decision and no1 else has a say in whether or not u have a child. Period. She is out of place and needs to learn to respect others and their opinions. Your not being selfish to the child because well, its not born yet, and ur not selfish to any woman cause they can have a child w/o u and its your choice if u want a child of your own and/or want to raise a child. Its completely up to u. If its want you want she doesnt even have the right to tell u that your selfish, nor should she take this much of an interest in your life, especially if she is your boss. Its not like its any of her business.

 

[Dahemo]

. But then i started thinking about my reasons about why i didn't want kids. I don't want kids because i could never bring up another person. Even if i was financially secure, just the act of teaching someone, of having to bring someone up that looks upto me, i honestly don't think i could ever do that, it scares me to no end. I don't know if my reasons are like any other person who doesn't want kids, i haven't talked to any other person who doesn't want kids to know if their reasons differ but it just made me think, am i really being selfish? Is having the power to produce another life, yet choosing not to, selfish? I'm not giving a child a chance to live, am i being selfish in depriving that child from ever having a life? But then if i were to ever have a child and then i didn't want it, would my feelings of not wanting it make me a bad father? and subsequently would i then be selfish in not giving that child the best i ever could because of my feelings towards never wanting to have that child? My boss told me to "never say never" when i told her that it "would never happen" and shes right. I just don't want kids, probably ever, my boss is a good lady but in that conversation i felt like i was the worst kind of person on this planet, i don't know what to think to be honest. What do you guys think? Sorry for such a depressing subject.

Sorry to be personal but I snuck a peek at your age, and you're (give or take a month) my younger sister's age. Now you're already beating her in the maturity stakes by considering this subject (not the deepest my beloved sibling) but at two years your senior I'm far too young to know this, so no offence, but I find it improbable you can make sweeping decisions on choices your very far from encountering. I think I want kids in the future but the thought absolutely terrifies me, and I may change my mind later in my life, I don't know.

However, her response was a little odd, and while I'm not exactly Sherlock Holmes I wonder if she has some kind of fertility issue, if either she or her partner are unable to conceive, or someone close to her has this problem, which to her would make your words seem selfish, you can freely conceive and have ruled it out so early on, when as an older person she wants kids but perhaps can't have them.

You would need to be several cards short of a full deck to ask her, but unless she has kids you know of this might be the reason. So no, I don't particularly think you're selfish based on this desire but I think you could perhaps be more aware that abstention from something is difficult to understand for those who cannot do that thing anyway...

p.s. Just saw your post about her having kids. Disregard my theory that it is her. But she may have a friend or relative in that situation.

 

[Lord Krunk]

In order to save the environment, we need to reduce emissions. Humans cause emissions, and consume resources. Less humans means less strain on the environment.

So, in not wanting a child, you are actually being generous to the next generation.

So, I believe that your intentions are selfish, but the results are far from it.

 

[Blayze]

Put simply, the opinions of people who manipulate simply do not matter.

 

[Reaperman Wompa]

Not really, you're only not doing something, if you don't have kids how does that take away from someone else or in some way make you act greedily, so in essence there is no way to justify what you said, at least not in a good way.

Also there's something like 6 Billion people on Earth one missing one is not going to be missed, also there's lots of people who never have children.
If you really think you're depriving a child of the chance to have a life look at that reasoning, there's no child planned or on the way so there is no child, no one is deprived, something that never was can not influence your decisions in life, nor should.
Planning for kids is good but thats the only way you can think of a not even remotely conceived child as a person. You take a life away from an idea, not a person.

 

[Xhumed]

In order to save the environment, we need to reduce emissions. Humans cause emissions, and consume resources. Less humans means less strain on the environment.

So, in not wanting a child, you are actually being generous to the next generation.

So, I believe that your intentions are selfish, but the results are far from it.

by that logic, me (or anyone) going on a killing spree would be justifiable...

 

[GothmogII]

In order to save the environment, we need to reduce emissions. Humans cause emissions, and consume resources. Less humans means less strain on the environment.

So, in not wanting a child, you are actually being generous to the next generation.

So, I believe that your intentions are selfish, but the results are far from it.

by that logic, me (or anyone) going on a killing spree would be justifiable...

-_- No, and you know why. Not having a child means not giving existance to a person. But it's far far more difficult to take back once given, well, from an ethical standpoint. It's actually quite easy to kill someone otherwise. Good thing for conscience eh?

 

[l33ticarus]

Not really I mean tons of people dont want kids because of such reasons and more reasons like they arent capable. I mean imagine someone with a little brother thats at least 20 years younger. He lives with that little brother. And you have to raise that little brother thats exactly what its like.

 

[Eagle Est1986]

Dude, you're only young, things change. Of course you don't feel like you could nuture a small child into a respectable member of society, I doubt many people do at your age.
If you met the right woman, 10 or even 20 years down the line, who's to say that you wouldn't want to make her a proud parent? And yourself at the same time.
All I'll say is never say never dude, a lot can happen in 20 years.
Even my Aunt, who didn't want a baby, even when she was pregnant, has turned out to be an excellent mother.
Never say never.

Edit: I do disagree with the way your boss handled your statement though, she shouldn't make you feel bad for having different views from herself.

 

[poleboy]

Of course not. The person who told you that is probably deeply afraid of anyone that is not exactly like her, so she attacks them with nonsensical arguments. She might as well have said that you are being selfish because you don't wear enough yellow pants, and yellow-pants people are deeply offended by this. Being a parent is not the only purpose of life.

If anything, not having a child is selfless, because a child does not benefit society in any way for the first many years of its life. And maybe not even after that.

 

[Xhumed]

In order to save the environment, we need to reduce emissions. Humans cause emissions, and consume resources. Less humans means less strain on the environment.

So, in not wanting a child, you are actually being generous to the next generation.

So, I believe that your intentions are selfish, but the results are far from it.

by that logic, me (or anyone) going on a killing spree would be justifiable...

-_- No, and you know why. Not having a child means not giving existance to a person. But it's far far more difficult to take back once given, well, from an ethical standpoint. It's actually quite easy to kill someone otherwise. Good thing for conscience eh?

Well i was going by the cold logic of their arguement alone. You can't use the enviroment as a justifiable reason not to have kids, its ignoring any emotional and biological imperatives for a start. Plus, you having or not having a kid will make fuck all difference to the enviroment on a global scale.

 

[CrazyBerk]

Jeez if you don't want a child don't have a child its a big responsibility i don't think you're being selfish.
World is over populated as it is anyway.

 

[Telekinesis]

Break it up into paragraphs next time.

Anyways, I'll be blunt here; your boss is an idiot.

 

[slowpoke219]

Not wanting kids is not selfish. In my opinion wanting kids is being selfish. Think about it, there are thousands of kids in foster homes and orphanages around the world waiting to be adopted. Yet despite that people think, "No I want my own kids" Whats the reasoning behind this? The biological need to perpetuate your own genes. What ever you call it, it boils down to a primal and selfish need to see your genetic line continue. It true for every plant, bacteria, virus, and creature on Earth. We are programed to be selfish. I applaud your decision and don't let your bosses biological drives influence your reason.