Users, gather close and listen to my tale, for it deals with the misty days of yore when the wroth ran as free as the typing and the World was Different.
Imagine a smaller Escapist. A quieter Escapist. Not by much but by enough.
Now imagine that there were those who sought to disturb this careful peace. Bastards and heretics are they, bringing flamewars, stalking as trolls amidst the threads and users to incite even further damage to our community.
For the longest time I had felt rather less than powerful in the face of their incessant irritation as the Report Button was my only sword and not responding to them, my shield. At last, I heard The Call. Clouds parted far above me and a great voice descended.
"Will you take up the heavy burden, and the great honour of moderation?" it queried while trolls fled for cover.
"Will you accept your BanWeapon with which to smite down the unworthy and the obnoxious?"
I raised a leather clad fist to the sky, in which I soon would grasp Edledhaion, the BanSword, and shouted "FUCK YES!" in reply.
A great light flowed into me, not of goodness as many suppose, but of pure power. I had not supposed myself worthy of such a thing, and did not covert it as many others were found to, for to want such power is a dangerous thing. I was taking a great risk that it might pervert my Lawful Evil to something... good. It was a risk we all took. The users around me stared up in wonder as I was clad in the battlearmour of Code and my BanSMop forged for me. I attained the Blue Title and the Red Mark of my new comrades.
When at last my booted feet touched the ground again, it cracked and shook beneath the weight of Awesome. The few users that dared lift their eyes, some still blinded by the light, looked upon my name in terror.
Labyrinth, it said to the dismay of the trolls amongst them. They shook with fear whenever it did appear, knowing in their hearts that one day I would come for them with my Sword and my Wrath and my Power over all Forumkind. My name has come to mean more than simply a person. It represents that which keeps these forums in check, as first felt by those who fell, gibbering in terror and awe, on the first day of my Becoming, and as has been felt by many since them.
Does my name make you shiver, dear User, and worry that you may incite our anger? Perhaps you should, for my name and the names of my glorious compadres shall ring out in victory over those who defile our precious place.
