Dota 2

[SomeLameStuff]

Almost 900 games guy here(I still suck).
Riki and Bloodseeker is incredibly easy heroes to play when you begin.
Riki because he's an invis hero and people generally don't counter him with wards in lower lvl games.
Bloodseeker because you can run down and see people with low health. People generally run even though they've been ulted and lose life when moving.
So yeah, two easy pubstomper melee heroes to begin with.

Probably the easiest ranged hero is Viper. Poison people to death when you're attacked and attack them, and that's it.

Good luck

Riki and Bloodseeker are getting major reworks in the 6.82 patch. I'd hold off on trying those guys.

I see people recommending Drow. It's okay-ish for lower levels, but Drow is someone who relies completely on positioning because she loses damage when enemies are standing close to her, and she dies if someone sneezes in her direction. Best not to rely on her too much.

I'd probably recommend Viper, and Ogre Magi. With the highest STR gain and ridiculous base armor and hp regen (6.96 armor at level 1 and 2.5 hp regen per second, wat), it's not uncommon to see an Ogre with nothing but boots tank shots from four enemies for a good five seconds.

 

[Nanondorf]

I would advise you to generally escape the cancerous tumors of gaming that are MOBAs, otherwise I suggest drow,sniper,viper for ranged, and wraith king, bloodseeker, axe.

 

[Vigormortis]

I can do one of those as well since I grew up in Ukraine speaking russian. Just to emulate the usual DOTA2 pub experience.

Spoiler

Well, it is all in good fun mate

You know, the funny thing is, I've never really experienced that particular trope about the Dota 2 pub community. In fact, the times I have been matched up with Russian players they were usually quite benign. Quiet, even. And the few occasions when they weren't, they were cooperative and nice.

Now, I'll grant that it could stem from me being far more likely to play private lobby PUG matches instead of PUB matches, but even so...

I guess it's similar to the "French-Canadians in Left 4 Dead 2" trope. No more true than for any other player, but once you hear of it, confirmation bias takes over.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

You know, the funny thing is, I've never really experienced that particular trope about the Dota 2 pub community. In fact, the times I have been matched up with Russian players they were usually quite benign. Quiet, even. And the few occasions when they weren't, they were cooperative and nice.

Now, I'll grant that it could stem from me being far more likely to play private lobby PUG matches instead of PUB matches, but even so...

I guess it's similar to the "French-Canadians in Left 4 Dead 2" trope. No more true than for any other player, but once you hear of it, confirmation bias takes over.

Foreign language players always seem benign to me, likely by virtue of the fact that I cannot understand their shit talking.

The worst (and paradoxically the best) people always seem to be on mics. Some of the nicest, most instructive people have been micced. And the worst, most toxic ones as well.

 

[someonehairy-ish]

About 500 games total here, 400 or so vs humans. My advice -

Wraith King is arguably the most noob-friendly hero in the game, seeing as he's only got 1 button to press, and reincarnation often saves you from major blunders. I'd also recommend Bristleback, seeing as he's obscenely tough and you can win with him by just spamming 1 (slow) and 2 (damage).
Sniper and Viper are also really easy to play, although they're squishy. You'll soon learn when to back off and when to stand your ground, though.

I'm surprised so many people are recommending Drow Ranger. Gust requires good positioning to make the most of it, and her ulti requires good positioning full stop. Not to mention she's squishy as hell. I wouldn't recommend her to new players at all.

I'll also say that the people advising you to read http://www.purgegamers.com/welcome-to-dota-you-suck#.VCMQRvldUqh are correct. That guide really helped me out back when I first started playing.

Please play bots for a while before joining proper matchmaking, too, and go back to bots when you're ready to learn the trickier heroes (meepo, invoker, puck, io, all three Spirits, phoenix... fuck it, most of them)

 

[DoPo]

I'm surprised so many people are recommending Drow Ranger. Gust requires good positioning to make the most of it, and her ulti requires good positioning full stop. Not to mention she's squishy as hell. I wouldn't recommend her to new players at all.

Drow owns at lower skill levels, that's why. While positioning helps for the gust, I don't expect beginners to put much effort into the movement. Her ulty gives her a really cheap really big damage boost, so even though it requires her to be positioned correctly, she tends to rip enemies apart before they have a chance to negate it[footnote]and FA helps in keeping them away, too[/footnote] - really useful in the beginning of the game for both farming and killing. She doesn't even require much maintenance - aside from a shadow blade to negate the squishiness, there is little else you need to build her. Even then SB is not really that needed but it just helps a lot.

Drow has been the noob hero since time immemorial. In fact, I was surprised when I started playing Dota 2, because she was actually even better than ever before - her ulty used to be relatively lame - a chance to one-shot creeps (10%/15%/20%, I believe) which I guess helps with farming but it's not that useful. Unlike bonus damage and attack speed which helps a lot more. Also, her frost arrows used to have a cooldown (at, like, the beginning level - putting more points removed the cooldown) and that was out as well.

 

[EmperorZinyak]

Viper is fairly simple ranged hero and dominates mid. He has 2 passive abilities, one of which makes him great and last hitting and another which damages and slows attackers. One of his active abilities is known as an "orb" effect, meaning that it modifies your attack by making it deal more damage but costs mana, and you can ctrl+right click to make Viper always use it. His ultimate is a fairly straightforward nuke+slow. I would recommend building Shadowblade, Manta Style, and BKB on him. Shadowblade lets you escape+initiate safely, Manta Style increases your damage output by creating two illusions, and BKB (Black King Bar) helps you in teamfights against magic-heavy lineups.

Wraith King is a melee carry that has only one active ability, a fairly mana-heavy stun. He can be played as a tanky carry, and his Ultimate ability gives him an extra life, but you should try not to waste it, as it has an EXTREMELY long cooldown at early levels. His 2 other passive abilities grand him and nearby allies lifesteal, meaning that you and allies heal a small percentage of damage that you deal, and an ability that grants him a chance to critically strike. His only downside is that unlike most carries he's poor at Flash Farming, meaning quickly clearing out neutral creep camps unless you build a Maelstrom on him (you're familiar with the Jungle, right?).

Dazzle is a ranged support who has strong laning presence, and he can easily get first blood. His Q ability is a slow that deals damage and stuns at the end. It's great for aggressive laning strategies. His W ability puts a spell on a friendly unit for a short amount of time that makes them unable to die, leaving them at 1 hp. It can be very useful in certain scenarios, allowing an ally to escape or continue fighting for a short amount of time. His E ability heals him, his target, and friendly units around his target while damaging enemies. It's great for staying in lane and clearing out Creep waves when pushing. His ultimate is on a very short cooldown and grants allies armor and reduces enemy armor. It can be very powerful in the right scenarios.

Sand King is a melee support who is extremely powerful at many stages in the game. He has a stun that sends him rushing forward while stunning anyone in his path, an ability that creates a damaging sandstorm while turning him invisible, a passive that makes enemies you attack explode when they die, and an ultimate that creates a highly damaging series of shockwaves around Sand King after a short channeling duration, allowing him to walk around and use abilities while the waves damage enemies. The obvious downside here is that cancelling the channeling will completely waste your ultimate, whether you move or you get stunned by an enemy. That's why Sand King typically doesn't fight until he buys Blink Dagger, which allows him to channel his ultimate somewhere safe, then blink in once his ultimate activates.

 

[SomeLameStuff]

Sniper and Viper are also really easy to play, although they're squishy. You'll soon learn when to back off and when to stand your ground, though.

If your Viper is squishy, you're building him wrong...

Also, please please PLEASE ignore all these "build a Shadowblade" recommendations. Too many people build Shadowblade without properly understanding how to use it. They rely on it as a crutch and when it doesn't work anymore, they just fail. Best not to get into bad habits when you're starting out.