Dragon Age Review by The Phil

[Rahnzan]

Oh god, editing this thing is a chore.

 

[Kimarous]

I read this and all I can really conclude is that this is simply not your taste in gaming. Almost every criticism has me shaking my head at what I consider absurdly harsh standards or leaning in at the monitor to exclaim in a thick Austrian accent "STOP WHINING!"

But that's just me. I really like DA:O and I find it unfortunate that you do not feel the same.

 

[SultanP]

Alright. Before we begin, I would like to give you my advice on future reviews. You should probably not publish a review until you are done with the game you are reviewing, and until you have made a draft that could potentially be the final one. Especially not when you take feedback so personally.

Alright then.
With the way you have been responding to feedback, I figured I'd just find a single point of the "review" to address. I chose the story section.
In a review, it is a good idea to show the readers that you are trying to give the game a chance, and taking it seriously when you are playing it. However, your section about the story just screams that this is not so. Even though you have played the game twice, you still got the story completely wrong. If I were to follow the example your review sets, I would leave it at that, but I intend to tell you where you are wrong and how.

you're the last of a sacred order destined to stop the evil horde once every 100 years lead by a powerful something or other and you're the only one who can stop it because the plot said so

You say that this thing happens every hundred years. That is incorrect. There is no set amount of time between every invasion, but in the game, it has been about four hundred years since the last one.

Also, you are not the last of a sacred order, and you are not the only one who can stop the invasion. First off, the Grey Wardens are not sacred, they are anything but.
You are not the last of them, you have another Grey Warden with you, you get the opportunity to make another guy a Grey Warden, and you meet another Grey Warden before the game is over. Not only that but you, along with your Grey Warden friend, are only presumed to be the last Grey Wardens in the country you are in. There are Grey Wardens stationed in other countries too.

You are not the only one who can stop the invasion. It is just a really good idea if you do. A Grey Warden has to be the one to stop the invasion, yes. And it is a good idea that your party is the ones to do it because in the time it would take Grey Wardens from other countries to come and do it instead, the invasion would have caused a lot more damage.

I realise you have not finished the game, and that you wrote you would return to the story section later, however, judging by the "review" I doubt that that would lead to a more correct story section.

Edit: Also, pretty much all the black people I saw in the game had black person features, such as fuller lips and a wider nose. But you might also want to look at the black people in our own world. Not all of them have these features, some of them could be dipped in white-person-paint and look exactly like on of us, due to having similar features to white people. Such are the ways of ethnic diversity.

 

[jango1]

don't agree with your review at all, and your reasons for not liking parts aren't very well argued

 

[snow]

First Draft? Now you're just making excuses.

Am not, I'm writing it right now. I was editing it while people were still commenting but that's going to get impractical, fast.

Your complaining about a game that proffessional critics have given two thumbs and a big toe way up. And really, your probably just angry that you can't beat the game due to difficulty, then again I heard PC's normal was your people's insane.

I'm complaining about a game that critics who risk losing their jobs by offending fans and game companies by writing negative reviews have written mostly positive reviews for? You want a smiley happy review that gives you exactly what bioware wants you to hear, go read a review by one of them.

Assuming I can't beat the game is a baseless attack and has nothing to do with my ability to present my opinion on a given work. This game is piss simple. Put the warriors up front, navigate the rogues around back and lay down some spells that dont hurt friendlies. BASIC. You want to know exactly where I am? I'm right behind the landsmeet and unless I've missed something I've pretty much got every item up to this point in the game.

My 11 year old sister beat this thing on Nightmare, granted hers is the console version. Honestly there's no point in playing a harder difficulty because the combat is so (god I keep using this word) basic dealing with opponents with more HP is nothing short but a waste of time. So you know, I'm playing it on Normal mode because I like using my AOEs.

Whoaaa, hold your horses mate!

I had a hobby for a little while, I write in practically the same style you write, but I chose topics that I knew were sensitive, and because of this, although I got tons of praise because people really enjoyed the shock humor I had put into my writing and how true it really turned out to be, there were always those that fall into the category of "You will always be wrong for having a different opinion."

I enjoyed your review, it's different from the norm, and I like it for that very reason, you aren't afraid to speak your mind to save face... People aren't always going to like that though, which is why my best suggestion for your writing is to take differed opinions and the such with a grain of salt. Mentally acknowledge their existence, but don't feel like you need to defend yourself. For if your going to post something that's different from the norm in both style and opinion, you're bound to run into people that will not like it.

Although there will also be people who will blindly post popular opinion or personal preference as fact... I always enjoyed ripping into those people, proving their settlements wrong... It backed up my original writing, and kept the writing the way it was intended, entertaining for those who understood my methods and reasoning behind it, without having to see a topic on a sensitive subject be taken serious by a sensitive person.

[small] Please note that this post does not relate to anyone specifically in this thread, and if taken as such, I have no choice but to challenge you to Fisticuffs! [/small]

 

[klakkat]

Needs editing. Longer isn't necessarily bad when making a point, but you do ramble a lot; people will put up with far more words if there is solid content and they're entertained. I don't expect you to be a comedian, but you can cut out all the sentences that amount to "I'm Angry" or "this part is bad." Just SAY what is bad about it, don't meander with your words. What I do when writing is start with an outline; collect all the points you want to make. Then say those points. Then stop saying things.

 

[Rahnzan]

Alright. Before we begin, I would like to give you my advice on future reviews. You should probably not publish a review until you are done with the game you are reviewing, and until you have made a draft that could potentially be the final one. Especially not when you take feedback so personally.

Alright then.
With the way you have been responding to feedback, I figured I'd just find a single point of the "review" to address. I chose the story section.
In a review, it is a good idea to show the readers that you are trying to give the game a chance, and taking it seriously when you are playing it. However, your section about the story just screams that this is not so. Even though you have played the game twice, you still got the story completely wrong. If I were to follow the example your review sets, I would leave it at that, but I intend to tell you where you are wrong and how.

you're the last of a sacred order destined to stop the evil horde once every 100 years lead by a powerful something or other and you're the only one who can stop it because the plot said so

You say that this thing happens every hundred years. That is incorrect. There is no set amount of time between every invasion, but in the game, it has been about four hundred years since the last one.

Also, you are not the last of a sacred order, and you are not the only one who can stop the invasion. First off, the Grey Wardens are not sacred, they are anything but.
You are not the last of them, you have another Grey Warden with you, you get the opportunity to make another guy a Grey Warden, and you meet another Grey Warden before the game is over. Not only that but you, along with your Grey Warden friend, are only presumed to be the last Grey Wardens in the country you are in. There are Grey Wardens stationed in other countries too.

You are not the only one who can stop the invasion. It is just a really good idea if you do. A Grey Warden has to be the one to stop the invasion, yes. And it is a good idea that your party is the ones to do it because in the time it would take Grey Wardens from other countries to come and do it instead, the invasion would have caused a lot more damage.

I realise you have not finished the game, and that you wrote you would return to the story section later, however, judging by the "review" I doubt that that would lead to a more correct story section.

Edit: Also, pretty much all the black people I saw in the game had black person features, such as fuller lips and a wider nose. But you might also want to look at the black people in our own world. Not all of them have these features, some of them could be dipped in white-person-paint and look exactly like on of us, due to having similar features to white people. Such are the ways of ethnic diversity.

Well there's a few things I would have wanted to find out on my own.

A big part of this review is to convey the fact that I (and all of you) have played this same story before at least a half dozen times, so chances are indeed slim that you can expect me not to take the plot seriously any time soon. I've got legitimate reasons beyond "story's crap!" because honestly if it was, it wouldn't sell so well all the time. I'm just really tired of playing the same exact thing time and time again, and no one cries foul when the companies try to sneak another one of these things past us every month. I was reading a review early on yesterday that set me off because I felt like I was the only one in the world who could see what I thought was blatantly obvious. I just need to chisel around my habit of writing myself to death until the message I want to make is clear and concise. And while it is nothing more than an excuse, I really am used to a much slower forum. I could get away with posting something and go a whole day without a single view and edit it to my hearts content.

---

I'm taking constructive criticisms Pimp, saying I've no credibility (not you) because of a gamerscore that means nothing isn't constructive criticism. People can voice their opinions about the review, but if they're going to try and fluster me I have a right to be snippy.

Surprised no one has said it's too long yet.

 

[SultanP]

-snip-

I did try not to put any spoilers in my post, since unless I was wrong in thinking you were around the Landsmeet part, you should have had the opportunity to find out pretty much everything except one of the things I mentioned. If I did spoilt it a bit, I'm sorry, however.

You do have a point or two there, I myself have noticed that major points of the story are almost similar to those of other games, like Mass Effect and a few others that I can't remember at the moment. I myself have a lot of issues with Dragon Age Origins, but they aren't what I'm here for.

Anyway, what I meant wasn't that you should have to take the story seriously, but the game. Which means you should pay a lot of attention all the time, if you're going to write a review. And what I wanted to point out by correcting you on the story is that if you got the story bit so wrong, then I would assume you didn't pay attention.

The thing is, when you want to point out the flaws in something popular, you need to know even more about the thing than the people who are fans of it, otherwise they are going to tear you apart correcting your mistakes, and your points will lose their validity.

 

[SultanP]

...You're given a loading screen cleverly disguised as a barely interactive map and from there you set about your mad war against the Blight with your band of 2 or 3 other people by choosing a spot on the map and waiting for a loading bar cleverly disguised as a blood trail to move up to wherever it is you intend to go. I've never seen a thinly veiled loading screen before, this is going to be fun!

So you pick a spot, someone bleeds all over your map and eventually you get to the little glowing square you poked. Then the game goes back to normal again and you're free to run around some of the smallest instances I've ever played in a game...

And what is this supposed to be? What are you criticising here? That they have a loading screen? That they have a map where you can choose where to go? That they have chosen to show the players the route their party is taking to their destination, also allowing them to show the player where on the route they get attacked, or bump into encounters, when that happens?

Are you criticising that the loading screen is showing how far there is to the destination, instead of a black screen with the word loading instead? What should they have done instead?

Some of the sections in your review seem like you just pick anything in the game, even things that there aren't anything wrong with, and complain about them. If there is anything wrong with the map/loading screen, I cannot see it, and you haven't really explained it.

 

[Rahnzan]

...You're given a loading screen cleverly disguised as a barely interactive map and from there you set about your mad war against the Blight with your band of 2 or 3 other people by choosing a spot on the map and waiting for a loading bar cleverly disguised as a blood trail to move up to wherever it is you intend to go. I've never seen a thinly veiled loading screen before, this is going to be fun!

So you pick a spot, someone bleeds all over your map and eventually you get to the little glowing square you poked. Then the game goes back to normal again and you're free to run around some of the smallest instances I've ever played in a game...

And what is this supposed to be? What are you criticising here? That they have a loading screen? That they have a map where you can choose where to go? That they have chosen to show the players the route their party is taking to their destination, also allowing them to show the player where on the route they get attacked, or bump into encounters, when that happens?

Are you criticising that the loading screen is showing how far there is to the destination, instead of a black screen with the word loading instead? What should they have done instead?

Some of the sections in your review seem like you just pick anything in the game, even things that there aren't anything wrong with, and complain about them. If there is anything wrong with the map/loading screen, I cannot see it, and you haven't really explained it.

It's actually not a criticism. I find it pleasant. I'll fix that in a second I've got to figure out how to do spoiler tags first.

As for the spoiler, it was something about conscripting a new warden. As for the 'game' as you put it, I have been paying a lot of attention, I'm wondering how I missed the fact that there are more than two grey wardens. I theorize that I missed something because of a trope Dragon Age actually subverted in light of this new information. Usually in games like this, you really are the last of some sacred order if you're not already the chosen one so I must have mulled past some of Alistairs whining thinking I knew what's what. Otherwise, the review is lacking because I dont have spoilers yet.

Edit: Found the link...well thats simple.

Edit: Figured out what the map crap was, got caught up on my writing and wasn't paying attention just kept writing on that side of the fence.

 

[Eponet]

I'm wondering how I missed the fact that there are more than two grey wardens. I theorize that I missed something because of a trope Dragon Age actually subverted in light of this new information. Usually in games like this, you really are the last of some sacred order if you're not already the chosen one so I must have mulled past some of Alistairs whining thinking I knew what's what.

When reviewing something, it's important not to make assumptions, or if you do, only use them when you have confirmed them. Though, I guess the basic tone of this is parroting what everyone else has been saying.

Regardless of Yahtzee's oppinion on the matter, it is highly unprofessional to write a review on the story of something you never finished. Though, I suppose you could have done worse, like most of the reviews of "The cult of perfection" or the Fox report on "Mass Effect" and not even read/played them at all.

 

[SultanP]

I'm wondering how I missed the fact that there are more than two grey wardens. I theorize that I missed something because of a trope Dragon Age actually subverted in light of this new information. Usually in games like this, you really are the last of some sacred order if you're not already the chosen one so I must have mulled past some of Alistairs whining thinking I knew what's what.

If you've gotten half way through the game once, and more than half way through it the second time, you've missed it twice. The party discusses the option of getting help from Grey Wardens outside of Ferelden when you get to the first village where you meet Sten and that other girl, right after the tutorial missions concerning Ostegar finishes.

Edit: If I am not mistaken.

 

[Rahnzan]

If I am not mistaken.

Then I definitely missed it there. The first time through I was going through new-game-syndrome and wanted to get to the fun parts fast. Second time through I'd 'heard it before' so I skipped Alistairs plans, wooed morgan into 95% from the get-go and ran around recruiting people.

 

[Rahnzan]

I'm wondering how I missed the fact that there are more than two grey wardens. I theorize that I missed something because of a trope Dragon Age actually subverted in light of this new information. Usually in games like this, you really are the last of some sacred order if you're not already the chosen one so I must have mulled past some of Alistairs whining thinking I knew what's what.

When reviewing something, it's important not to make assumptions, or if you do, only use them when you have confirmed them. Though, I guess the basic tone of this is parroting what everyone else has been saying.

Regardless of Yahtzee's oppinion on the matter, it is highly unprofessional to write a review on the story of something you never finished. Though, I suppose you could have done worse, like most of the reviews of "The cult of perfection" or the Fox report on "Mass Effect" and not even read/played them at all.

Ive had the opportunity to watch the parts I didn't play (little sister beat it already) which is why I know how it ends. The gameplay and graphics from where I'm at to where the ending is do not change at all, and aside from one or two plot points I'm not missing a whole lot of information. All I'm really missing are maybe a good few dozen bits of codex lore and that has little impact on how fun it is smashing monsters and making sense of the barebones plot. I'm at landsmeet, if the game hasn't won my heart by then, It's not going to do it in the next 10 hours of gameplay and wont change my actual review, just the minor specifics of my much wider complaints and criticisms. As it is right now I've tried to make the review as valid as possible and I don't see how finishing the game personally will improve upon it.

I get what you're saying, but I'm not a professional critic and don't intend to be one unless I build up a cult following (not likely to happen...) so I don't have to worry about it. If this was a game I like, aside from having actually beaten every game I've enjoyed 2 days within purchase, I'd wait til I got to the end to review anything mostly positive.

You guys will just have to wait a few weeks for my boredom to peak to see if killing the Archdemon myself changes anything in my review.

 

[Eponet]

Ahh, I wasn't aware that you actually watched her play it, sorry. >_<

 

[Rahnzan]

Ahh, I wasn't aware that you actually watched her play it, sorry. >_<

Backseat gaming, gotta love it.

 

[Wolfram23]

Not a bad review, but you should point out which system you're playing on (Xbox right?) and also when commenting on how retardedly easy a game is you should mention the difficulty you're playing on. I bought DA:O and played on Hard as a warrior (w/ shield: it sucked) then my gf started a mage so I played that a little, then I started a rogue and actually the rogue is my favorite class with really good damage the way I went. Anyway, on Hard, the game is actually difficult. Not as hard as, say, Demon's Souls, but I died a few times... mostly against mages. Also I have yet to beat it because I agree with most of what the review here and so yea... got bored, had very little interest in progressing.

 

[Zenn3k]

I agree with your review.

I've played the game for maybe 2 weeks now, haven't even gotten close to beating it (I also started a couple more characters because the origin stories at the most interesting part of the game so far). I'm a bit bored with it though, mainly its the levels not meaning anything that caused me to stop caring about it.

Whats the point of being a bad-ass if nothing you do, nothing you kill, really MEANS anything within the game??

I have had some fun being a "jerk" character though, where my response to basically every request is "You die now" or "I really don't care about your problems". Leaving ALL of Redcliffe to die was so very fun, as was murdering the drunk blacksmith. I also hop into bed with Morrigan everytime I'm in camp. Lawl.