Dreams that just make you say "wtf?"

[IamLEAM1983]

I toke every once in a great while, usually on the Holidays. Never a lot, just enough to get a bit of a buzz. There was one time, though...

I smoke a joint with my aunt, and realize this is the first time I've ever seriously inhaled a breath of pot smoke. The THC hits me like a Mack truck and I head back home in an absolute haze that feels halfway between coma, halfway between a waking state and that also has a couple sleep-like qualities, I dunno.

I crash in bed and drop wakefulness like a bad habit, basically letting myself go down the rabbit hole. What do I find there? One of my own characters, apparently quite busy critiquing the way my mother was raking the leaves in our previous home's back yard, all the while never lifting a single finger to help.

Now, that character in question is a six feet tall anthropomorphic weasel in a black-and-white suit (think "Reservoir Dogs"), who, for the occasion, was wearing a heavy felt overcoat, a scarf and some leather gloves. Weasel Biggs (as that's his name, how original, hurdur) is a bit of an ass and is so much a stereotypical Italian-American mobster that he'd make James Gandolfini reconsider his role in "The Sopranos".

The guy hasn't worked an honest day in all of his fictitious life, and here he is, lecturing my mom about how she needs to rake the freaking leaves. Whoa.

For the record, I'd like to state that I had never before and never have since dreamt about my characters. I've been so impressed by the dream and so scared by my inability to stay awake that I gave up on my aunt's supercharged pot and generally gave up on chasing a serious buzz when I do smoke.

 

[repeating integers]

Well, there was one.

Remember the Teen Titans cartoon show? Yeah, well, in this weird dreamworld, the island it (EDIT: their tower, curse mah lack of attentiveness) was on looked a lot like that famous Giant's Causeway place with all them geometric pillars of rock, and it was a lot taller.

In this dream, I took the honoured and important position of... the camera. And I was following Raven as she flew around the island, over and over again, for some reason. Eventually I deduced that she was fleeing from something I never got a look at. At one point... she stopped. Then she looked at me (yes, the camera) with a sad smile and muttered something that was presumably quite profound (I dunno, I never remember what people say in dreams). I retreated back over the rim of the island and she looked out over the sea. Then all the other Titans were there, panicking, and looked over the island rim to where she'd been - I did too; she was gone. No explanation or anything.

Now, here's where the weird part begins.

Apparently, whatever the fuck had happened to Raven had really pissed the Titans off, because they went back into the tower and into a secret, special safe-room I don't think actually exists in the show (it had windows covering one of the walls, though, so there's that). They opened a closet door, disguised as part of the wall, to reveal... The Flash.

Only... he was old. I mean, properly elderly. He had a spectacular moustache of pure grey hair, and he was still wearing his old red jumpsuit. He smiled evilly and said, in a very stereotypical old-man voice:

"Uhrhr wuhrhrh whhwur blluhhr!"

Or something to the effect anyway. Like I said, I'm not good at remembering dream dialogue.

Anyway, the Titans didn't like that. So they beat the crap out of him. Seriously, they punched him everywhere. Silently. Scowling.

Then suddenly, loads of vines spouted through the floor and grabbed hold of everyone. "Oh shit!" I thought. "Poison Ivy, or something!"

My subconscious disagreed, though, because while an evil woman did indeed walk through the door whilst obviously controlling the vines, it wasn't Poison Ivy. It was Blackfire.

I then woke up, and spent a while trying to figure out what the fuck I'd just watched.

 

[CrazyJew]

Time to win this thread.

I was having a lightsaber fight against Vader and Marilyn Monroe.

 

[Blunderboy]

I once dreamt I was a bowl of peanuts. For three hours.
It was as thrilling as you'd expect.

Though I've also had dreams about survivng a zombie apocolypse by riding a tame T-Rex, so you know, it's ups and downs.

But my two most WTF dreams are even stranger...Behold.

Ok, so here is all that I can remember from my dream last night.
Me and Jules had set up the imaginatively named Silky and Jules Private Detective agency. We had some client or other and ended up running into the following people and scenarios.
A duo of cops who harassed us, played by Ade and Jess.
Princess Kate was the police chief, and Logger was the DA.
Kei playing piano in a seedy bar while Becci sang The Age of Aggression from Skyrim.
Conjoined twins Widdy and Llama who were somehow in charge of the Triads and argued a lot.
A rickshaw chase involving our intrepid heroes, Shack and Eden, through lots of cardboard boxes.

Needless to say Jules, we blew the case wide open, but somehow everyone ended up in a massive fight with their counterparts from the darkest timeline. You could tell because of the felt beards.

I?m strange, right?

And also.

I ate too many 'crab sticks' at a party on saturday.
When I fell asleep, aided somewhat by several beers and shots of vodka, I started a rather nice, gentle amble of a dream, involving myself and a casual exploration of the dairy aisle at Sainbury's.
Sadly, about ten minutes into procedings, a huge crab stick (about six foot five) came up to me and said "Come along Russ, we have a lot to do."
To which I replied, rather sadly, "Really? I'm having such a good time." I paused to cradle two Edams in my arms tenderly before adding, in a voice filled with gentle hope and persuasion. "This is my dream after all, so I don't suppose I have any say at all...."
"No, I'm afraid not." replied the crab stick, politely enough for a huge piece of pressed sea food.

Then the dream got even weirder.
There was a revolution in which all food that was named in a miss-leading manner rose up, and threw off the shackles of oppression, naming themselves correctly with the use of misspelt stickers and discount biros, litterally seconds after slaughtering hundreds of supermarket bosses with a single fork.
Then followed an unrelated incident involving a jungle on the moon and three small monkeys made of socks.
The sodding giant crab stick ruined that one too.

Which was followed by this one.

Had a doozie of a dream last night.
Started off with me popping into the building where I used to be a security guard. Only went in to see my mate.
From then on the dream featured, in approximate order.

A suicide bomber dressed as a 118 118 man. Oddly, while the blast completely destroyed him, the only damage to the building was some slight smoke damage to the floor.

Me getting ropped in to help frisk people that for some reason where being allowed back into the office, after such a huge (well, almost) security breach.

A fight with seven robotic ninjas. Had some help in this one from, Druss the Legend and Batman.

The plot of Alien Vs Predator, but in the office building.

Then, once we'd killed the alien queen and wiped out the predators, whilst hunting down the last few aliens drones we discovered zombies had invaded.

Here I'll add a direct quote from my dream.
"Oh joy! Just what we need, next it'll be the sodding crab sticks."

 

[Vhite]

I tend to have many survival horror dreams. Which is kinda strange because normally when I play them I'm too scared to continue but when I dream and its like I'm there it feels awesome.

Last night it was vampire/undead/spirit themed...

 

[sam13lfc]

I had a dream last night where a guy in a vehicle that was a Dodge Challenger at the front and a Fort Transit at the back was doing dangerous stunts in the middle of a crowded road...with everyone cheering him. I was like, "HEY WTF STOP"

 

[M K Ultra]

My brain finishes resting and if I decide to go back to sleep it basically says: "fuck you, I wanted to get up. Now I'm gonna have to show you a bunch of messed up shit."

haha so true. Then your penis ups the ante & says "hehe wait til he wakes up with a boner, that'll fry his mind."

 

[darkcalling]

I once had a dream that I woke up in the body of the head cheerleader at my High School. I got up, felt weird, walked to the mirror, took the revelation surprisingly well, ate breakfast, and woke up before anything interesting happened.