Drinking and depression

[MajorTomServo]

One of my best friends (really, it's a friend, not me) has depression, which she's on medication for. Despite what the pill bottle and I say, she drinks somewhat regularly. Honestly, I'm concerned about it.

Alcohol can worsen depression, and depressed people are more likely to develop addictions. I don't want either of those things to happen to her. I keep telling her, but she just kind of brushes it off with a "I know... but I don't really drink that often." That's somewhat true. She doesn't get drunk often,(to my knowledge, anyway) but she does seem to drink pretty frequently. She's always posting pictures of her dinner (which include martinis,) talking about having wine with her mom, having rum and coke after work, and she's one of the heavier drinkers at our friends' parties. That's just what I'm aware of, there's a good chance there's more.

Part of the reason might be because I don't drink myself, so she might think I'm just being all "rah, alcohol is evil!" Plus she lives with her mom, who's always wants to drink with her. And, on top of that, this is the year where almost all of our friends turn 21 (the American drinking age,) so there's been a lot more friend functions with alcohol. So basically, she doesn't want to give it up, and even if she did, she'd get constant pressure from her mom and temptation from watching how much fun our friends are having.

I know she's an adult and she's free to live her own life, and it's not my job to police her. I just want her to come out of this depression that's been holding here back for quite a while now. She's always tired, and she doesn't seem to care about much of anything these days. I went through a pretty bad depression myself when I first started college, so I know how it feels, and I don't want her going through that any more or any worse than she has to...

 

[manic_depressive13]

You've expressed your concern and she dismissed it. There's not really anything else you can do. It's nice to imagine being able to swoop in and save someone from their own vices, but real life doesn't work that way. She knows what she's doing and she doesn't care.

 

[dyre]

I take it her mom drinks a lot too? One of my roommates has parents who drink almost all the time, and alcohol is pretty much an indispensable part of his life, even though he doesn't actually get drunk much. The phrase "cut back from drinking" is simply incomprehensible to him, even if he's struggling to make ends meet financially or if he's about to go to a job interview.

What I'm saying is, it could just be part of her lifestyle, and totally irrelevant to her depression. There's nothing (overly) wrong with that. IMO there's nothing to be concerned about here (yet); your help as a friend should be limited to just being there to talk about stuff when she needs someone to talk to.

 

[Flutterguy]

Best thing you can do is, well, no one can tell you that..

Addiction is facilitated by a mental necessity that arises due to poor experience.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rat_Park

I'd recommend you articulate your thoughts, write them down, then consider whether they are realistic.

Don't get drunk with her. Don't disown her without valid reason. Stealing, perpetual dishonesty, greed drivin, a walking hazard.. generally acceptable reasons to stop hanging around.

 

[Mr.Cynic88]

As somebody who has been on head meds for many years, I think it's completely fine to drink while taking the medication. That in and of itself I wouldn't worry about.

If your friend has depression, she is probably on SSRI's which shouldn't have any fatal interactions with alcohol. The old depression meds were MOAI's which are far worse for reacting to things.

Also, your friend is about 21, and along with that goes experimenting with newly legal activities. I drank like every day for the first six months when I turned 21. 5 years later, I drink maybe once a week.

So basically I'm saying don't worry about it unless there are other problems. Drinking is not a problem unless it starts to effect other areas of life.

Of course, depression and addiction are hella-serious things, but there only way she's going to learn her coping skills are by exposing herself to life choices. There may be larger issues that you haven't alluded to in your post, but from what you typed, it doesn't sound like problem drinking, it sounds like a new adult exploring her options.

 

[Ubiquitous Duck]

Drinking socially is fine, it's more of a problem if it is always to excess or is sought out in private (not that you'd know).

I think if you want to suggest anything, I'd suggest to them that they keep a drinking diary. So just note down when they drink and how much, to catalogue it - because just saying 'you drink too much' can be easily dismissed without any proof.

If they are so sure that they don't consume that much, then they might not mind documenting their consumption to show it. It can enlighten you to a problem that you have been denying to yourself

It is, as others have said in this thread, quite intrusive though, so it really depends on how well/long you have known this person to make such a personal suggestion.

Sometimes people need a prod to get the ball rolling.. I know my mother took my sister for her first appointment, as she didn't do so under own volition or by herself (she wasn't a child/teenager).

 

[Eamar]

For anyone still reading, it's fine to drink moderately with most psych medications, you just have to be aware that they may alter your tolerance for alcohol and/or how you feel when drunk, so take it slow the first couple of times.

According to my dad, who's a doctor, you can ignore the vast majority of warnings you find on medicine bottles. They have to report every possible risk, no matter how small, for legal reasons, but most of the time interactions and the like are only going to be a problem if you're taking large doses or with long-term use.

There are some legit things that you really must not mix, of course, but your doctor will spell those out for you when they prescribe the meds.

 

[RidofJensen]

People fail to forget that Alochol is a depressant. you could bring her to a meeting. I heard that it works and you could just hang out with her and talk to her.