Drinking Stories

[Esotera]

Official Drinking Stories Thread

It's been a while since we've had a thread sharing drinking stories, so I thought it was high time to create one. Just a few ground rules before we start

Spoiler: crying into the deep abyss of the monitor...

- No advocating the taking of illegal drugs
- Nothing that is so morally repugnant that it will make most people throw up in their keyboards
- Nothing that breaks the default moderation rules.

Anything else goes, so post away with some great stories and comments on others.

 

[Jonluw]

I always wondered about that "no advocating illegal drugs" rule in these forums.
How much talking can one do about illegal drugs without having it count as advocating? I'm pretty sure you'd be allowed to tell a story of a horrible experience you had, but would you be allowed to tell the story of a fun experience? Does admitting to taking illegal drugs count as advocating it? It's a bit confusing, really.

Anyways, here's the story of the first time I tried drinking amounts larger than a couple of pints.

Spoiler

My parents were arranging a rather large party. They were inviting friends of the family, so an old childhood friend with whom I haven't had much contact in later years was also there.
We were both underage, but were still offered pre-dinner drinks since, hey, what's the harm in it?
By the end of dinner, I'd had two or three glasses of wine and half a liter of beer.
After dinner it was time to socialize. I was hanging out with my childhood friend and a couple of other guys I knew from my childhood but who were older than me.
I decided to grab a cup of wine for me and my friend.
Yes, cup. We were drinking wine from plastic cups because we just had that much swag.

In any case, there were also a lot of children around the age of eight or something at the party. They were sort of pestering us, so I decided I would have to find something to occupy them with. I went up to my room and grabbed my two broadswords and shield and took the kids out to the garden for some fencing. Relax, the swords weren't sharp (Although, on a later occasion, I've found out that it is entirely possible to punch a blunt sword straight through the shield we were using. I managed to hurt a guy's arm in the process of finding this out).
After having worn out the kids a bit, I went back inside to hang out with my friend.
We decided to grab some of the cognac while the adults weren't looking and reminisce about old times. In case you were wondering, yes we were also drinking cognac out of plastic cups.

After this, I managed to convince my friend to check out Death note. We went up to the first floor where there were no others and fired up some Death note on my laptop.
However, there was this one kid who insisted on hanging out with us and stuff. Pretty annoying, so we did everything we could to trick him to go back to the ground floor.
We were having fun watching Death note, and I was routinely making runs down to the ground floor to get us more wine. We had between three and five more cups while watching.
It should probably be noted that most of the fun derived from watching Death note was from laughing hysterically about how we couldn't read the subtitles because we were seeing double, and taking breaks to prank call old friends from elementary school.

The kid kept coming back though, which was annoying because we felt really irresponsible getting absolutely shitfaced in front of a ten year old. We did our best to convince him to leave, and finally he got tired of hanging out with us.

It was at this point we decided that we'd try to watch one more episode of Death note, but that I would go get us some more wine first. We spent a few minutes laughing about the prospect of me pretending to be sober while going downstairs, seeing how I could hardly stand upright.
In any case, I managed to walk downstairs somehow. The adults weren't in the kitchen anymore, so I was free to grab wine without anyone seeing me. However, it was empty.
But lo and behold, there on the kitchen counter stood a couple of half-liter cans of beer. The day was saved.
Wait... Don't people usually say something about beer and wine?
Nah, it's probably just bullshit anyways. Beer it is.

I sat down in the sofa with my friend, cracked open my can of beer, and brought it to my mouth.
Then I woke up in my bed, fully clothed and with a bucket standing next to me. I made my way downstairs, and learned on the way that I had a headache as well.

As I ate breakfast, I was reminded that I had to catch a train to Oslo that morning. That's a six to eight hour train ride.
I left my parents at the station and sat down in my seat, trying to cope with the headache on the moving train. Around this time, my friend called me and told me that I'd thrown up in two different sinks that night. My vomit had blocked the drains, and he'd have to clear the blockage with his hands.

Well, that was embarassing, I thought. In any case, I'm hungry. I need to go to the restaurant car and get myself some food.
"Oh, sorry, we don't accept that kind of credit card."
Fuck. How much cash do I have?
I had enough for one of those tiny cans of Grab and go Pringles they sell at planes and such. That and the bottle of coke I'd brought from home was my entire food supply on that six hour train ride. And I was experiencing a hangover for the first time.

How heavenly it was to buy a slice of pizza when I arrived at the airport which was my destination...

Other than that, I don't think I have many drinking stories.

I did once manage to step on someone's beer, having it spill over someone else's bag, but I wasn't drunk at the time.

Spoiler: Edit: another shorter story

I was at a party at a friend's house and this was the the first time I had managed to get my hands on a 70 cl (approx. 25 oz.) bottle of 40% vodka just for myself. I'd decided I'd try mixing white russians to see what they were like.

How did it go?
Let's put it like this: if you want to get drunk off of something, don't choose a drink where the main ingredient is cream...

I don't know exactly how many glasses I had of the stuff, but I know I was getting pretty full from the cream, so I switched it for coke at some point.
When the night was over, I'd emptied half my bottle of vodka.

Spoiler: You know how it is

After a while, as was bound to happen, I started feeling sick. The bathroom was occupied, so I found a plastic bag to throw up in. I tied it up and everything; if I was in any shape to do so, I would probably have gone and thrown it somewhere myself. I think if I was a dog, I'd be a very cleanly and practical one.

After that, I spent the night hunched over my friend's toilet, and lying on his bathroom floor. I have some vague memories of girls (no dudes for some reason) going to the toilet while I was lying there. They insisted that I had to look away, but honestly I was way too drunk to even consider turning my head in their direction. Besides, I don't have a fetish for bodily waste. Pretty huge turnoff, really.

That night is one of the reasons I don't really drink much anymore.
Here's a picture someone snapped of me before I went on my puke-a-thon.

I pretty much couldn't tell up from down at this point.
I fell down on the floor shortly after the picture was taken.

 

[Esotera]

I always wondered about that "no advocating illegal drugs" rule in these forums.
How much talking can one do about illegal drugs without having it count as advocating? I'm pretty sure you'd be allowed to tell a story of a horrible experience you had, but would you be allowed to tell the story of a fun experience? Does admitting to taking illegal drugs count as advocating it? It's a bit confusing, really.

My interpretation of it is that it's totally fine talking about times you took mescaline and went to Vegas on the highway, but God Forbid if you tell other people to do it. Obviously it'd be cool to get moderator confirmation on this.

Anyways, here's the story of the first time I tried drinking amounts larger than a couple of pints.

Spoiler

My parents were arranging a rather large party. They were inviting friends of the family, so an old childhood friend with whom I haven't had much contact in later years was also there.
We were both underage, but were still offered pre-dinner drinks since, hey, what's the harm in it?
By the end of dinner, I'd had two or three glasses of wine and half a liter of beer.
After dinner it was time to socialize. I was hanging out with my childhood friend and a couple of other guys I knew from my childhood but who were older than me.
I decided to grab a cup of wine for me and my friend.
Yes, cup. We were drinking wine from plastic cups because we just had that much swag.

In any case, there were also a lot of children around the age of eight or something at the party. They were sort of pestering us, so I decided I would have to find something to occupy them with. I went up to my room and grabbed my two broadswords and shield and took the kids out to the garden for some fencing. Relax, the swords weren't sharp (Although, on a later occasion, I've found out that it is entirely possible to punch a blunt sword straight through the shield we were using. I managed to hurt a guy's arm in the process of finding this out).
After having worn out the kids a bit, I went back inside to hang out with my friend.
We decided to grab some of the cognac while the adults weren't looking and reminisce about old times. In case you were wondering, yes we were also drinking cognac out of plastic cups.

After this, I managed to convince my friend to check out Death note. We went up to the first floor where there were no others and fired up some Death note on my laptop.
However, there was this one kid who insisted on hanging out with us and stuff. Pretty annoying, so we did everything we could to trick him to go back to the ground floor.
We were having fun watching Death note, and I was routinely making runs down to the ground floor to get us more wine. We had between three and five more cups while watching.
It should probably be noted that most of the fun derived from watching Death note was from laughing hysterically about how we couldn't read the subtitles because we were seeing double, and taking breaks to prank call old friends from elementary school.

The kid kept coming back though, which was annoying because we felt really irresponsible getting absolutely shitfaced in front of a ten year old. We did our best to convince him to leave, and finally he got tired of hanging out with us.

It was at this point we decided that we'd try to watch one more episode of Death note, but that I would go get us some more wine first. We spent a few minutes laughing about the prospect of me pretending to be sober while going downstairs, seeing how I could hardly stand upright.
In any case, I managed to walk downstairs somehow. The adults weren't in the kitchen anymore, so I was free to grab wine without anyone seeing me. However, it was empty.
But lo and behold, there on the kitchen counter stood a couple of half-liter cans of beer. The day was saved.
Wait... Don't people usually say something about beer and wine?
Nah, it's probably just bullshit anyways. Beer it is.

I sat down in the sofa with my friend, cracked open my can of beer, and brought it to my mouth.
Then I woke up in my bed, fully clothed and with a bucket standing next to me. I made my way downstairs, and learned on the way that I had a headache as well.

As I ate breakfast, I was reminded that I had to catch a train to Oslo that morning. That's a six to eight hour train ride.
I left my parents at the station and sat down in my seat, trying to cope with the headache on the moving train. Around this time, my friend called me and told me that I'd thrown up in two different sinks that night. My vomit had blocked the drains, and he'd have to clear the blockage with his hands.

Well, that was embarassing, I thought. In any case, I'm hungry. I need to go to the restaurant car and get myself some food.
"Oh, sorry, we don't accept that kind of credit card."
Fuck. How much cash do I have?
I had enough for one of those tiny cans of Grab and go Pringles they sell at planes and such. That and the bottle of coke I'd brought from home was my entire food supply on that six hour train ride. And I was experiencing a hangover for the first time.

How heavenly it was to buy a slice of pizza when I arrived at the airport which was my destination...

And god that's an amazing story. I remember that you hate hangovers on trains whilst I'm a fan of them, as it passes the time. I'm assuming Death Note is some sort of scary movie or something?

 

[Jonluw]

My interpretation of it is that it's totally fine talking about times you took mescaline and went to Vegas on the highway, but God Forbid if you tell other people to do it. Obviously it'd be cool to get moderator confirmation on this.

Yes. Moderators, please clarify!

And god that's an amazing story. I remember that you hate hangovers on trains whilst I'm a fan of them, as it passes the time. I'm assuming Death Note is some sort of scary movie or something?

How in the world does a hangover on a train pass the time?
All it did to me was amplify the shaking and the noise and the general discomfort involved in sitting in a train seat for 6 hours, all the while providing me with a delightful headache and nausea. And I had no painkillers.
I should probably specify that I am practically incapable of falling asleep while sitting.

I did for a second consider telling the story of how I sort of boned a girl and maybe lost my virginity under the influence of 12 ounces of gin plus some vodka and other weird shit, but I'm not really comfortable doing that since it involves another person's intimate life.

Death note is a pretty awesome anime.
Or at least the first half is very awesome, the rest is... well, we prefer to say it doesn't exist.

 

[Total LOLige]

I don't drink to the point where my liver explodes, I do Substance D instead. Since I don't have any drinking stories I'll leave you with a picture of my favourite beer.

Spoiler

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Spoiler: My first house party

Well, it was university. I had just turned 19 three months before and was drinking because I could. My university friends were all a good bunch and all were heavy drinkers. I was smart enough to have a sober friend available to take me home so I agreed to go to this house party.

I knew nobody except five friends out of a group of at least two dozen. I had already had some beer earlier at another gathering and I started guzzling down a 2 litre bottle of Cider by myself. Meanwhile my sober friends (did I mention I was a part of a documentary program?) decided that this party was going to be their shoot for the current documentary program. So they ended up filming me drunk as well as others for a short video.

Anyway, the night was devolving quickly. Some guys in the front wanted to start a fire in the front yard. The sober people put a stop to that. Inside they were smoking weed, something quite common in Vancouver.[footnote]I haven't touched the stuff and don't advocate it.[/footnote] The bathroom in this house got plugged quickly so people were going out into the backyard for relief. The police came by for a noise warning after the people in the backyard got too loud.

Just before I left I stumbled upon a dark bedroom with lots of people taking their cloths off. I was quite uncomfortable with the situation so I retreated and begged my ride home to get me to my home. I don't remember the drive there but he later told me I was just talking constantly.

Wake up the next morning, one of the lousier hangovers of my life. I've never done a house party with strangers since. I've come to accept that I like drinking around people I know and trust sober. Also I felt bad about the damage done to the house. It was an experiment and until the end I was alright with it but in retrospect it was something I wouldn't repeat again.

Not only that but it was kind of embarrassing seeing myself drunk on film. My university friends won't let me forget that.

Spoiler: My first bad hangover.

So it was a month or so after that party I decided independently to see where my limit at drinking was. I was alone in the basement of my aunts place, had 12 beers to try. I don't recall much of the night itself but I do know I was playing Blitzkrieg 2 while drunk as I still have a save file from that night called "DRUNK CAMPAIGN YO". I probably also posted here.

I had about 7 beers before I crashed. Fortunately my aunt wasn't home the next morning so she wasn't around to hear me vomiting for 10 hours. I've never felt such a bad hangover headache since. It was just horrid. It was bad enough to convince me to slow down with my drinking. I didn't have a single drink that March because the hangover was just so horrible. I didn't enjoy cleaning up after myself either.

I've only been drinking since November 2010 so I don't have too many tales to tell. If this thread explodes, I'll add as necessary.

 

[e033x]

Not much a story, really, but situations:

I first started drinking with the members of the concert band i was playing in. An adult concert band. That was awesome for two reasons: Free drinks all around (i got beer and spirits, despite being underage), and discovering that drunk adult people are hilarious! Especially funny (or sad, really) are the people in their 40s and 50s, who drink and act like 14 year olds. Also beware of middle aged women during live music. They are very eager to dance with... younger persons. *shudder*

Another fun thing to do is to serve alcohol backstage during a large music festival. One of the people i sold most beer to was a real Don Juan; He would show up, often with some ladies with him, and order like 6-8 beers. Then, like 15 minutes later, he would show up again, buying the same amount, sometimes with different girls. And mind you, this is festival beer, which is expensive as fuck, even backstage. Another fine thing was the end of my first shift. It was a warm afternoon, and the arrangers wanted to give the backstage-crowd a little treat, so we filled an empty fountain with ice, and 10-15 cases of beer. Free beer. About 20 minutes later, our shift ended. Ill leave you to fill out the rest.

Later that weekend, after my last shift i, and my fellow volunteer-bartenders sat in the bar, enjoying the free beer it is customary to give the volunteers, when the manager of the backstage area ran to us and asked: "I desperatly need a driver, has anyone not drunk anything?" I wasn't too concerned before i heard the reply of the one who hadn't drunk anything, but didn't have a driving license: "Damn... You could probably have paid that license with the payment"... Damn...

 

[Kud]

I've been out drinking nearly every weekend since I turned 18, but yet I have never gotten so drunk that I lost my better judgement. Maybe I am just really good at drinking.

 

[JanatUrlich]

I just don't even know where to begin. A common saying at my university house is "If you haven't shat yourself in the last month, you haven't been drinking enough."

Take from that what you will.

 

[FalloutJack]

In lieu of an actual story, come and listen to these boys jabber on.

 

[WaysideMaze]

Spoiler: Well this one time...

Just after I turned 18, I went to uni. I got my student loan one day, and decided to blitz it on one night out. I remember by midnight I'd done about 15 jager and 15 tequila, then I remember waking up at 7 in the morning in hospital, still heavily pissed, with the right side of my face all bruised and cut. Turns out I kept going and at about 3 I just fell down and smashed my face on the pavement. Only about 100 yards from my room as well. So close...

Spoiler: And this other time...

I decided to go out with some guys I'd never been drinking with before. I started throwing back the pints and next thing I know I'm wandering around the opposite end manchester to where I lived with no wallet, no phone, no keys, and about 3 quid in change. I shouted at strangers until they directed me back to the main bus route. I got on the empty bus, decided I needed a piss, took a piss on the bus and fell asleep. I woke up and I'd been doing laps of the picadilly-mcr airport bus route, and the bus was now full. I still have no idea what happened that night

Spoiler: And another time...

When someone put down a broken piece of glass next to me (a bottle had smashed on the dance floor, the guy was picking it up). I decided I wanted to use blood as facepaint, so cut my arm repeatedly to get the required amount. It wasn't working, so I stabbed my thumb and used it to paint blood on my face directly. I then spent the night screaming at strangers covered in my own blood, and painting other people who weren't too horrified to run away. To this day I have no idea how I wasn't kicked out of that club.

Spoiler: Another good one was when...

I first met one of my best friends. I don't remember much of the incident itself, but the night after I met him he called me saying he couldn't get into warehouse (a club in preston) because he'd been throwing cans the night before. Turns out after each Jagerbomb I ordered I proceded to smash the can on the bar, whilst laughing and screaming loudly causing them to fly off at the staff and the stock behind the bar. We were allowed back in a few weeks later, although somehow I never got the blame

Spoiler: the time when...

This club we used to go to every week introduced stupid new rules stopping us from having mosh pits, taking our shirts off etc. We're metalheads, that's what we do! So I convinced a few of my friends to take out shirts off and charge around the place once a certain song got played, that we knew they would play. We wanted to see if they'd try and kick all of us out. It worked better than I could have dreamed, with so many more people than we told about it joining in. And yet despite a plethora of man boob and beer gut on display, that was still one of the best nights out I've had

Spoiler: when I was at a friends house party...

in a different city. I didn't know anyone else there except the one guy that invited me. Still, that's never stopped me having a good time. So I joined up with a group of other rockers, we took control of the sound system and blasted NoFX and Municipal Waste and rocked the fuck out. We also punched a hole in the roof. That might have been me, since I don't remember I claim no responsibility

I have so many more stories, and my friends have even more since I generally can't remember what I've done.

I wish I could go out as much as I used to. Stupid night shifts...

I just don't even know where to begin. A common saying at my university house is "If you haven't shat yourself in the last month, you haven't been drinking enough."

Take from that what you will.

I'm pleased to say that despite everything I've done drunk, shitting myself is not on the list. I have, however, woken up in my own vomit more times than I'd like to admit.

 

[Unsilenced]

Let's just say there's a shower in my old dorm that all who know the tale will never use again. Also that the smell of bleach is not great for hangovers. Ughh...


On a more amusing note, some friends of mine and I were drunk off our arses in the parking lot of a Target. We found a shopping cart with an attachment to the back of it that gave it two seats for, presumably, little kids. I got in the basket and assumed the "Captain Morgan" stance while two of my friends manned the seats. The fourth began to push, and thus the Deathmobile was born.

Spoiler: A Deathmobile

 

[teqrevisited]

I only really drink at home or in other peoples' houses. Not a lot happened outside anyway, apart from the time when we spent 2 hours looking for someone's girlfriend and getting far too sober in the process.

Then there was when I drank 12 pints and half a bottle of spiced rum. Proceeded to pass out whilst sitting on a stool in the kitchen. Had to be dragged upstairs where I threw up in bed. The only time I've not managed to keep it down.

Another time, at a farewell party for one of my mates: 4 or 5 pints of bitter, I was dared to drink an entire bottle of Smirnoff blue label. Drank it, walked through to the living room and collapsed face first onto my mate's sofa where I spent the next 14 hours. For a while around lunch the next day they thought I might've been dead.

The most interesting was when I got pulled up onto the stage at a local beer festival a couple of years ago to have an impromptu air guitar competition with other randomly selected members of the audience. Of course, by that time I'd already gone round and sampled the majority of what was on offer in the beer tents and neither man nor beast could separate me from my pint glass. There wasn't any grand prize but everyone who went up got a free half-pint mug to take away. I don't remember how I got home though.

 

[teebeeohh]

when i drink a lot of alcohol it results in this weird situation where i wake up in the morning and don't remember anything but as my head clears up i start to remember things and my friends keep telling that i don't act out of character during those times. it's just weird when i wake up next to a girl i don't know because "give me 2-5 hours to remember you" does not go over well.
it's also really annoying when i don't remember whether i just misplaced the box i keep the coffee in or if i am out

 

[triggrhappy94]

I always wondered about that "no advocating illegal drugs" rule in these forums.
How much talking can one do about illegal drugs without having it count as advocating? I'm pretty sure you'd be allowed to tell a story of a horrible experience you had, but would you be allowed to tell the story of a fun experience? Does admitting to taking illegal drugs count as advocating it? It's a bit confusing, really.

From my experience (from posting my story about taking ambian and smoking weed at the sametime, then playing Nazi Zombies) from posting my stories multiple times, you're allowed to tell stories no matter how sweet. I think you cross the line when you tell people they should do drugs.

 

[Kapri]

Has anyone ever played King's Cup? It's a card based game with lots of drinking involved where everybody wins (except me, apparently)! Like most drinking games you do it with something lighter like beer or mixed drinks... usually, unless you're a genius like me.

So once upon a time in a magical land called Pemberton, my friend's old house, we were having a party and decided to play some King's Cup. Problem was the only drinks we had were berry Smirnoff, which I hate, and whiskey (anyone get the ominous foreshadowing?). Someone handed me a bottle of Smirnoff and all I remember saying is "Hell no! Smirnoff is for the weak!" And at that I took the bottle of whiskey and drank that for the entire game.

Two rounds later I'd gone through pretty much the entire bottle and I remember saying "I don't feel so good" immediately followed by BLLLLARRRRGGGHHHHH! I then preceded to sit awkwardly in a chair with my face hanging over the side puking the entire night.

The two thoughts I had during that time were 1) I have never been in so much pain in my life and 2) I'm never drinking again.

FIN.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

You vomit for 10 hours after 7 beers? That must suck man...I do 14 beers and only just get tipsy. So it's hard for me to get drunk (and expensive to boot) so I don't have any hilariously wild drinking stories. The worst that's happened to me was face planting the mud after slipping in my mates backyard during his party.

I wasn't pacing myself either, just doing the beers in rapid succession. And I didn't drink any water. I wasn't impressed with myself.