Drummer Jokes

[Fruhstuck]

Well, all musician jokes really, the title was more to pull you in than anything else

What good jokes do you know about drummers and vocalists and singers and keyboardists and guitarists and what have you? (would mention the bassists but they're not really worth it)

The running drummer joke for us at the momet is:

How do you know the drum stage is set up properly?
The drool comes out of both sides of their mouths

But my favourite is:

The tooth-fairy, santa, a drummer with good timing and a drummer with bad time are in each corner of a room, someone chucks a fiver in the middle, who gets it?
The drummer with bad timing as none of the others exist

EDIT: also if you know any good "lightbulb" jokes i'm in the mood for some of those too

Keep your jokes in bad taste to yourself -mod.

 

[Dr Pussymagnet]

Who do you call the sponge who hangs around the band? The Drummer.

This one is for people who were in music class in high school.

How many conductors does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who cares nobodies watching.

Now that's a good one, but yeah, I never watch em' either.

 

[searanox]

How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Pay for the pizza.

 

[crimson5pheonix]

How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? none, they have a machine for that now.

 

[fedpayne]

This just reminded me of a couple of lightbulb jokes...

How many player-characters does it take to change a lightbulb?
All of them! You should never split the party!

A guy with a stepladder asks his friend 'Hey, you wanna help me change a bulb?', and his friend replies 'Are you sure there are enough of us?'.

Plus... I play drums. But I also play guitar, so fuck you all.

 

[The Kind Cannibal]

What's like a annoying sneeze that you know is coming, but can't stop it?
A guitar solo.

You know your going to have a bad gig when...
Your vocalist is sober.

 

[Fruhstuck]

This just reminded me of a couple of lightbulb jokes...

How many player-characters does it take to change a lightbulb?
All of them! You should never split the party!

A guy with a stepladder asks his friend 'Hey, you wanna help me change a bulb?', and his friend replies 'Are you sure there are enough of us?'.

Plus... I play drums. But I also play guitar, so fuck you all.

Lenny Kravitz plays every instrument on his albums
He makes you fail

I like the stepladder joke lol that's good

 

[Cyberius]

What do you do with a guy who has absolutely no musical talent?
You give him two sticks, put him in the back of the band, and call him a percussionist.
What do you do if he can't even do that?
Take away one stick, put him in the front of the room, and call him the conductor!

our conductor told us that one

 

[KaZZaP]

Im sick of drummer jokes, the rumor that drumming takes no skill started when bands like AC/DC we're popular. The drumming in old rock is a joke but drumming in new metal bands like System of a Down for instance is nuts and deserves respect.

 

[crimson5pheonix]

How do you get a drummer to play accrecando? Tell him to play at 4/4 with 120bpm.

 

[OneHP]

What's the difference between a drum machine and a drummer?

You only have to punch the beat you want into the machine once.

 

[Fruhstuck]

What's the difference between a drum machine and a drummer?

You only have to punch the beat you want into the machine once.

HaHaHaHa!! Nice one

How do you get a drummer to play accrecando? Tell him to play at 4/4 with 120bpm.

What's accrecando?

 

[crimson5pheonix]

What do you call a drummer that can keep time? Your imaginary friend.

 

[crimson5pheonix]

What's the difference between a drum machine and a drummer?

You only have to punch the beat you want into the machine once.

HaHaHaHa!! Nice one

How do you get a drummer to play accrecando? Tell him to play at 4/4 with 120bpm.

What's accrecando?

speed up.

 

[searanox]

Im sick of drummer jokes, the rumor that drumming takes no skill started when bands like AC/DC we're popular. The drumming in old rock is a joke but drumming in new metal bands like System of a Down for instance is nuts and deserves respect.

I would hardly call the drumming in System of a Down to be "nuts" but your point is still taken. I don't think anyone seriously believes that drumming takes no skill - in fact, a truly good drummer is hard to find, not because most people don't practice, but because, frankly, it's hard, and probably the only rock instrument that you need actual training to get good with.

 

[crimson5pheonix]

What was the last thing the drummer said before the band broke up? "Hey, let's play the song I wrote!"

 

[Fruhstuck]

Im sick of drummer jokes, the rumor that drumming takes no skill started when bands like AC/DC we're popular. The drumming in old rock is a joke but drumming in new metal bands like System of a Down for instance is nuts and deserves respect.

I would hardly call the drumming in System of a Down to be "nuts" but your point is still taken. I don't think anyone seriously believes that drumming takes no skill - in fact, a truly good drummer is hard to find, not because most people don't practice, but because, frankly, it's hard, and probably the only rock instrument that you need actual training to get good with.

What do you mean by "actual training"?

 

[Cousin_IT]

The drumming in old rock is a joke

Keith Moon, John Bonham & Frank Zappa (as a composer) alone would challange that assertion.

 

[crimson5pheonix]

What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless.