Drummer Jokes

[searanox]

What do you mean by "actual training"?

Lessons from a qualified teacher, possibly but not necessarily academic in origin. Most of the best drummers around are not self-taught - you can't really play by ear easily for more complicated things, and the only way to really develop is to submit yourself to intense regiments. I don't care if someone can play a "mad" 4/4 techno beat or something at 220 bpm, like most idiots seem to be content with. If you gave any of them some Latin, jazz or polyrhythmic stuff to do, they'd jam the sticks up their nose trying to play it. There's also so many drummers that lack any sort of feel out there, and while it's not crucial for all genres, if you want to play anything more than standard rock stuff, it's necessary to be able to groove like a ************.

 

[crimson5pheonix]

What do you call a drummer with half a brain? Gifted.

 

[Fruhstuck]

What do you mean by "actual training"?

Lessons from a qualified teacher, possibly but not necessarily academic in origin. Most of the best drummers around are not self-taught - you can't really play by ear easily for more complicated things, and the only way to really develop is to submit yourself to intense regiments. I don't care if someone can play a "mad" 4/4 techno beat or something at 220 bpm, like most idiots seem to be content with. If you gave any of them some Latin, jazz or polyrhythmic stuff to do, they'd jam the sticks up their nose trying to play it. There's also so many drummers that lack any sort of feel out there, and while it's not crucial for all genres, if you want to play anything more than standard rock stuff, it's necessary to be able to groove like a ************.

I think most of the best drummers are self-taught
Bonham, Moon and Rich as examples
But i found that i sucked completely till i got some tuition
I still can't do latin stuff or advanced jazz
But i've only been doing it 9 months leave me alone!! lol

EDIT: crimson5phoenix you are on fire with the gags

 

[crimson5pheonix]

What does a drummer use for contraception? His personality.

 

[The Kind Cannibal]

Technical death metal drummer here, contrary to popular belief it does take an assload of skill and training, I dare say way more than it does to be a guitarist/bassist.

What did the guitarist do when he lost his only pick?
Became a bassist.

 

[Jobz]

What good jokes do you know about drummers and vocalists and singers and keyboardists and guitarists and what have you? (would mention the bassists but they're not really worth it

That's not nice, we bassists are an essential part of any band. We deserve mean jokes too!

 

[crimson5pheonix]

What do you call a drummer in a Volkswagen? Farfrumthinken.

 

[Fruhstuck]

What good jokes do you know about drummers and vocalists and singers and keyboardists and guitarists and what have you? (would mention the bassists but they're not really worth it

That's not nice, we bassists are an essential part of any band. We deserve mean jokes too!

Only essential as a shield for the glass bottles though
My best friend is a bassist and he can do some really technical, finger chaffing stuff
It just, doesn't matter because no one can hear it anyway

 

[crimson5pheonix]

Did you hear about the drummer who finished high school? Me neither.

 

[Jobz]

Only essential as a shield for the glass bottles though
My best friend is a bassist and he can do some really technical, finger chaffing stuff
It just, doesn't matter because no one can hear it anyway

Whether or not you can hear it depends on the style of music. A lot of bands today really tone down the bass in favor of guitar riffs, but I prefer music that's bass heavy. Even if the bass isn't complicated. You want to hear great bass that does matter? Listen to Red Hot Chili Peppers, that music wouldn't be the same without bass.

 

[The Stabilo Boss]

Whats the difference between a musician and a large pizza? The pizza can feed a family of 4

 

[crimson5pheonix]

Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car? So they can park in the handicapped spot.

 

[Fruhstuck]

Only essential as a shield for the glass bottles though
My best friend is a bassist and he can do some really technical, finger chaffing stuff
It just, doesn't matter because no one can hear it anyway

Whether or not you can hear it depends on the style of music. A lot of bands today really tone down the bass in favor of guitar riffs, but I prefer music that's bass heavy. Even if the bass isn't complicated. You want to hear great bass that does matter? Listen to Red Hot Chili Peppers, that music wouldn't be the same without bass.

I've only ever heard RHCP and early Nickelback stuff where i've really been able to pick out the bass
And it sucks lol because i love bass i just can't hear it very easily
Oo and InMe - they have good bass

 

[crimson5pheonix]

What does the average drummer get on his IQ test? Drool.

 

[SnowCold]

lol, this gives me a flash back to that spongebob episode
"I have to drum up a band quick!, hehe... drum up... band humor..."

 

[mkb07a]

Only essential as a shield for the glass bottles though
My best friend is a bassist and he can do some really technical, finger chaffing stuff
It just, doesn't matter because no one can hear it anyway

Whether or not you can hear it depends on the style of music. A lot of bands today really tone down the bass in favor of guitar riffs, but I prefer music that's bass heavy. Even if the bass isn't complicated. You want to hear great bass that does matter? Listen to Red Hot Chili Peppers, that music wouldn't be the same without bass.

I too was angered (not really) by the bassist comment- BASSIST UNITE! Besides, chick bassists (re: me) are hot, or so I'm told.

On topic, I got these from (of all things) the MIT website.

How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?
Twelve. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it better.

How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
None--they just steal somebody else's light.

What's the least-used sentence in the English language?
"Isn't that the banjo player's Porsche?" (applicable as I dearly want to play the banjo)

How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They're so macho they prefer to walk in the dark and bang their shins.

There are a ton more, but those were the quick few for the moment.

 

[riftinducer]

How do you know a guitarist is at your front door?
He knocks out of time and comes in too early.

 

[The_Deleted]

Im sick of drummer jokes, the rumor that drumming takes no skill started when bands like AC/DC we're popular. The drumming in old rock is a joke but drumming in new metal bands like System of a Down for instance is nuts and deserves respect.

Joke thread. Y'know...for jokes...

 

[Radelaide]

How do you know a stage is level?

The drummer drools out of both sides of his mouth.