Eggsnham Presents: A Review of My Sparkly Purple Comb.

[Not-here-anymore]

Good review but your choice of comb is shameful. Real men use one of these..

Spoiler

No, real men use a gun-comb. And we make sure that it's loaded and that the safety's off before we start, too. And the brushing motion should definitely be supported with your finger on the trigger.
If you don't have a gun comb, the paw of a bear that you have personally taken from its cold, dead corpse is also acceptable. Unless you killed it with a sparkly purple comb. That just makes it too easy. Seriously, those things are great for bear hunting.

You have pleased Sassafrass, Eggsnham. *Picks up money and walks out, counting money*

Oh, thank God, I thought I was going to have to get sparkly purple comb on my number one loan shark!

Hmm... I would offer money/protection to appease/deter your loan shark. All you have to do is sign a little contract. Here, I'll type up a copy

I, hereby offer my soul and that of my first-born child to J03bot and the other hardworking souls at NNIJA. In return, I expect services including, and limited to, protection from assorted members of PRIATE, and maybe money, if I ask really nicely and offer more souls and/or hair-care products.

Then just sign and date it below. Attach all relevant souls with staples. Or send hair-care things by carrier pigeon. It'll find me.

 

[supagama]

nice quote from death note abridged and the comb is compelling

 

[Eggsnham]

Hmm... I would offer money/protection to appease/deter your loan shark. All you have to do is sign a little contract. Here, I'll type up a copy

I, hereby offer my soul and that of my first-born child to J03bot and the other hardworking souls at NNIJA. In return, I expect services including, and limited to, protection from assorted members of PRIATE, and maybe money, if I ask really nicely and offer more souls and/or hair-care products.

Then just sign and date it below. Attach all relevant souls with staples. Or send hair-care things by carrier pigeon. It'll find me.

Ehh. I'll pass. I like my soul, maybe you can get another guy to sign it, though!

 

[Not-here-anymore]

Hmm... I would offer money/protection to appease/deter your loan shark. All you have to do is sign a little contract. Here, I'll type up a copy

I, hereby offer my soul and that of my first-born child to J03bot and the other hardworking souls at NNIJA. In return, I expect services including, and limited to, protection from assorted members of PRIATE, and maybe money, if I ask really nicely and offer more souls and/or hair-care products.

Then just sign and date it below. Attach all relevant souls with staples. Or send hair-care things by carrier pigeon. It'll find me.

Ehh. I'll pass. I like my soul, maybe you can get another guy to sign it, though!

You sure? I'm reasonably confident you're not using it! Come on, please? I need it to pay off the devil after I lost mine in an ill-advised bet... (I should really stop challenging impossibly powerful entities at various games of skill and luck. In this case, Mario Kart 64. Still, at least he played fair. Unlike Loki. He was a total douche).
Besides, you have a sparkly purple comb. Why do you need a soul? Or, alternatively, you could use your comb to win your soul back at a later date.

 

[Eggsnham]

Hmm... I would offer money/protection to appease/deter your loan shark. All you have to do is sign a little contract. Here, I'll type up a copy

I, hereby offer my soul and that of my first-born child to J03bot and the other hardworking souls at NNIJA. In return, I expect services including, and limited to, protection from assorted members of PRIATE, and maybe money, if I ask really nicely and offer more souls and/or hair-care products.

Then just sign and date it below. Attach all relevant souls with staples. Or send hair-care things by carrier pigeon. It'll find me.

Ehh. I'll pass. I like my soul, maybe you can get another guy to sign it, though!

You sure? I'm reasonably confident you're not using it! Come on, please? I need it to pay off the devil after I lost mine in an ill-advised bet... (I should really stop challenging impossibly powerful entities at various games of skill and luck. In this case, Mario Kart 64. Still, at least he played fair. Unlike Loki. He was a total douche).
Besides, you have a sparkly purple comb. Why do you need a soul? Or, alternatively, you could use your comb to win your soul back at a later date.

Hmm, you make a good point.

Here, have my soul!

 

[Not-here-anymore]

Hmm... I would offer money/protection to appease/deter your loan shark. All you have to do is sign a little contract. Here, I'll type up a copy

I, hereby offer my soul and that of my first-born child to J03bot and the other hardworking souls at NNIJA. In return, I expect services including, and limited to, protection from assorted members of PRIATE, and maybe money, if I ask really nicely and offer more souls and/or hair-care products.

Then just sign and date it below. Attach all relevant souls with staples. Or send hair-care things by carrier pigeon. It'll find me.

Ehh. I'll pass. I like my soul, maybe you can get another guy to sign it, though!

You sure? I'm reasonably confident you're not using it! Come on, please? I need it to pay off the devil after I lost mine in an ill-advised bet... (I should really stop challenging impossibly powerful entities at various games of skill and luck. In this case, Mario Kart 64. Still, at least he played fair. Unlike Loki. He was a total douche).
Besides, you have a sparkly purple comb. Why do you need a soul? Or, alternatively, you could use your comb to win your soul back at a later date.

Hmm, you make a good point.

Here, have my soul!

I... wow, thank you! If you happen to notice any instances of demonic possession in your day-to-day life from now on, prepare your comb. It's probably related to your lack of soul, but definitely not my fault.

Oh, and as for my side of the deal - if members of PRIATE attempt to scam you out of your money again, I will attempt to protect you. If, however, there are more of them, or they're bigger than me, I'll be out of my depth, and won't be able to do anything.

 

[Eggsnham]

Hmm... I would offer money/protection to appease/deter your loan shark. All you have to do is sign a little contract. Here, I'll type up a copy

I, hereby offer my soul and that of my first-born child to J03bot and the other hardworking souls at NNIJA. In return, I expect services including, and limited to, protection from assorted members of PRIATE, and maybe money, if I ask really nicely and offer more souls and/or hair-care products.

Then just sign and date it below. Attach all relevant souls with staples. Or send hair-care things by carrier pigeon. It'll find me.

Ehh. I'll pass. I like my soul, maybe you can get another guy to sign it, though!

You sure? I'm reasonably confident you're not using it! Come on, please? I need it to pay off the devil after I lost mine in an ill-advised bet... (I should really stop challenging impossibly powerful entities at various games of skill and luck. In this case, Mario Kart 64. Still, at least he played fair. Unlike Loki. He was a total douche).
Besides, you have a sparkly purple comb. Why do you need a soul? Or, alternatively, you could use your comb to win your soul back at a later date.

Hmm, you make a good point.

Here, have my soul!

I... wow, thank you! If you happen to notice any instances of demonic possession in your day-to-day life from now on, prepare your comb. It's probably related to your lack of soul, but definitely not my fault.

Oh, and as for my side of the deal - if members of PRIATE attempt to scam you out of your money again, I will attempt to protect you. If, however, there are more of them, or they're bigger than me, I'll be out of my depth, and won't be able to do anything.

Something's telling me that this is a bad deal, but my lack of soul is forcing me to not care and agree with you. Thanks!

 

[Not-here-anymore]

Snip

Something's telling me that this is a bad deal, but my lack of soul is forcing me to not care and agree with you. Thanks!

You're welcome! I want to put in a video of Turk from Scrubs saying that, but I can't find one...

 

[Dapsen]

That was awesome. I'm definitely heading out to buy that comb tomorrow!

 

[Deadlock Radium]

Good review but your choice of comb is shameful. Real men use one of these..

Spoiler

I want of of those, NOW!
The only problem is that I just cut my hair and it's about half an inch long..

Awesome review, I laughed, so damn awesome.