ATTENTION! THE WRITER OF THIS ARTICLE WOULD SERIOUSLY PREFER YOU TO READ THIS WITH CARE BEFORE POSTING!
There exist games that are universally known as one of the greatest achievements in gaming history.
There exist games that are universally known as one of the worst things to have ever allow to exist.
Then there's the games that people cannot come to an agreement wheter or not it's good or bad.
Metroid Other M is one of those games.
Metroid Other M is currently one of the most controversial games in recent history, with just a mere mention of it causing hundreds upon thousands upon billions of discussions/rants.
It's a "love it or hate it" game and I mostly stayed on the neutral ground, though more towards like it than hating it. I was willing to defend it if the arguements against the game were completely irrational, unjustified and just simply kind of fanboyish.
But I was wrong.
For today, due to a certain incident which involved a pencil, an eraser and a rubber duck, I saw enlightment.
I saw... the Truth.
It became crystal clear to me: Metroid: Other M is the most depraved, horrible and despicable pieces of creation we have ever allowed to exist.
I couldn't believe how obvious it was. To consider, for this long time I have been standing on the wrong side. To consider, for all this time I have wronged so many people and so many countless lives because of my blindness.
But not anymore. For today I shall atone my sins and wash myself of this filth.
I will list you the ten reasons why Other M is the worst game to have ever existed.
HERE BE THY SPOILERS!!
I
V
8. Sector Zero Scene
If there's one moment in this game that clearly shows us how utterly terrible it is, it would be this moment right here.
Now the context is that Adam, Samus' superior officer and father figure, sacrifices himself so the unkillable Metroids cannot spread and so that Samus can finally defeat Ridley herself.
Simple right? NO!
You see, this is one of the most defining stupid moments of this game.
The first problem is that Adam shoots Samus and manages to disable her suit. How? Why?
Fisrt problem is that why would Adam shoot Samus for no reason? Sure, she was established to be very rebellious back when she still served under Adam and that even now she is quite reluctant to take orders, but still. Look at how obedient Samus is. She would lick your boots clean if she had to. There is NO REASON for him to shoot. NONE.
Another problem is how did Adam's freeze gun manage to disable Samus' suit? Is that suit like held by willpower or something now? What, so she wasn't focused enough? Like some stupid Kamen Rider-Tokusatsu crap? This is stupid.
And finally, why would Adam sacrifice himself and let Samus finish Ridley? Clearly he's got the best weapon ever deviced, enough so to disable SAMUS FREAKIN' ARAN'S POWER SUIT! Come on, he could easily defeat Ridley by himself but he instead kills himself instead?
But this is only the tip of our iceberg.
7. Ridley
OH GOD RIDLEY WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU?!
Now, according to this game, Ridley has this metamorphosis cycle ala Pokemon, where he would start off as a furry, Chocobo-rabbit... thing and then evolve into a furry lizard and then in to the space dragon we all know and love.
But why? None of the other games never made this apparent, so where the hell did they pull this one from? And second, this is just plain stupid, and anyone who disagrees are wrong.
Ridley has always been a badass space dragon, so giving him this stupid Pokemon transformation thing is really jarring. Plus, it's completely unnecesarry. How does this improve the Metroid lore? ABSOLUTELY NONE, just like how this game is a blasphemy on the Metroid franchise!
Whoever came up with this is clearly stoned off their minds and should lay off their Pokemon.
Besides, who plays Pokemon anymore?
6. Adam
Everything about this guy is pure idiocy. Nothing he does make any sense. What gives him the authority to order me, SAMUS FREAKIN' ARAN, to do these things? Look, just because he is a high-command military officer and the protagonist's father figure she hasn't met in years, doesn't justify me to listen him.
And he's commands make no sense either. Why the hell can't I use the Screw Attack? Or the Speed Booster? Who can I possibly hurt? There is nothing I can possibly harm in any way!
Also, there's "Hell Run". Oh god, "Hell Run".
This has got to be one of the worst, if not THE WORST moments in video game history.
I mean, I can't believe it. It's the embodiment of how utterly horrible this game is and how horrible this moment is.
It's nonsensical, illogical and cosmically dumb in every sense of the word.
Why in the hell doesn't Adam authorize the use of Varia suit before I went to a FREAKIN' LAVA ZONE? If he's supposed to see what samus also sees, can't he see that pile of steaming hot molten rock? And why does he authorize the use of the Varia Suit only when I encounter the boss monster!
Some say this is a gameplay thing that hasn't been thought out well, but I say it clearly is the sign of how massively catastrophic this game is.
And wait, I have to endure this guy IN FUSION AS WELL?
... Though then again, who cares about Fusion, am I right?
Plus he's ugly.
5. Samus' Characterization
Oh god. Oh Jesus Christ. OH GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!
*Inhale*
I mean this... I mean this is... I mean... Wow. Just, wow. Is there anything holy in this world anymore?
This has got to be, the absolute worst, THE WORST THING that has happened in gaming history. Period.
There is absolutely nothing redeemeable and I mean nothing in this horrible betrayal of such epic levels.
Not only is she totally not what I expected her character to be, but she is a WHINY LITTLE B*TCH! Every moment she spends is nothing but constantly whining and monologueing her problems. EVERY. WAKING. MINUTE.
No breaks, no time outs, we aren't let a single MINUTE without her monologuing in that bimbo animu voice.
Seriously, listen to what she said in the first ten minutes of the game
"Pierced my heart"
Oh no... she didn't... no... NO!
WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU, SAMUS?!
I mean, Samus has always supposed to be this Sarah Connor/Ellen Ripley type of character who is stoic, completely devoted to her profession and doesn't take sh*t from anyone. She speaks little and does alot, only letting those uneducated people to guess what she might be like and is ultimately also a great character that you the player can be like, basically a female Gordon Freeman. That's what makes her a great character, she is a symbol of true power and feminism in video games.
But now she is emotional and melancholic. WHY? She is SAMUS FREAKIN' ARAN! The destroyer of WORLDS! What does she has to be so emotional about?
Oh because of the Infant Metroid? Why? I don't see it, where the hell did they pull this from?
Also, she talks about the Baby. All. The. Damn. Time.
Every wking minutes, it's BABY this or BABY that. Nothing but BABIES!
She never stops talking about the freakin' Baby. NEVER EVEN ONCE.
I like how they used the Ridley scene instead of an actual moment where she actually talks about the Baby.
Oh, and that's not it.
Then there is... the most despicable of them all. The most incredible atrocity ever commited to mankind.
I present you: The Ridley Scene.
...
That sound you just heard was me bleeding from all my orifices.
This... I have nothing. Absolutely nothing.
This is... the worst moment in my life. I'm serious. This has to be the worst thing I've ever had to experience.
But... I have to try. I have to atone my sins I have commited against the true Metroid community.
First of all, why does Samus fear something that she has beaten A WHOLE FIVE TIMES! IT. MAKES. NO. SENSE!
I mean, isn't this supposed to be routine to her? She only fought him like, five times now?
Oh sure, Ridley killed her parents and all, but so what? Oh, she has a PTSD now? Oh looks like people are going to try to add significance to a make believe character who lives in a sci-fi make believe world. Let's take the fun out of games and make it as real as possible. I mean, aren't games supposed to be fun? Why should they attempt to try an tell a story? Nobody wants that!
Plus, shouldn't she already get over her trauma by now? I mean, it's already so routine, shouldn't she get used to it by now?
Hell, imagine if you had a psychotic, almost indestructable serial killer that murdered your parents in the most brutal way possible right in front of your eyes and he doesn't die no matter how many times you kill him, even when the last time involved a whole planet exploding, leaving no possible remains behind. Wouldn't you get used to it too? If you answer no, then you are clearly not thinking straight.
Oh, and I haven't even begin with her voice actor. My god, did they choose the worst voice actor for this job. She is so monotone and unbelieveably dull. When has monologue ever been so monotone? Never, I tell you, NEVER.
I mean... Incredible. Absolutely incredible.
You know what this is like? Valis X.
And for those who don't know, Valis is a sidescrolling-action game series on the Sega Megadrive and TurboGrafx-16. The series wasn't exactly a juggernaut, but it had it's fair share of success and fans.
But when the 20th anniversary came about, the company that made the game had sold the rights to someone else, who decided to retool the series hentai games. Yes, seriously, this actually happened.
And just to top all this, the game itself was abysmal and destroyed all hope of there ever being another Valis game.
And this is exaclty what Metroid Other M is to the series. It's Valis X of Metroid. In fact, it's clearly worse. That is just eldritch.
4. The game is clearly racist against Asians
Now currently there's circulating a fantastic critical and objective article known as "Metroid: Other M - The Elephant In The Room". It makes many compelling arguements that are well thought out and very much makes sense. Every true Metroid fan should read it.
In that article, the writers made a great arguement about how utterly horrible Samus and Adam's relationship is and how it glorifies it. However, if there is one thing the article missed, is it's racism against Asians.
And as a fellow Asian descent, I find this very, very, VERY offensive.
Case in point: K.G. Misawa.
Not only does he fill out all the Asian stereotypes (short and has glasses), he doesn't do or say anything, except the words "Got it!".
This is most obviously telling us that Asians can't speak more than two words and how they are as a race completely useless when faced with adversary.
He is also a possible "Deleter", which also conveys the message that Asians are amoral and inhuman.
This is offensive. To both me and everyone else, but why haven't anyone noticed this?
I suspect the unfortunate truth is that racism against Asians has become prevalent in modern pop culture.
3. Disrespectful to the original series
You know there is something wrong when combat is the best thing in a Metroid game.
I mean, what? Metroid has never been about combat! It's about exploration and atmosphere. But there's no exploration IN ANYWAY and no atmosphere AT ALL. Those who find the people exciting and immersive for the least bit are obviously in denial.
They cannot believe what has happened to their game, and so they lie to themselves.
But you must face the truth. You cannot deny it. The more you deny it, the more stronger it will grow, until it consumes you leaving nothing but a husk of what you are.
2. Sexualization and sexism
From all this wickedness, you might have realized this. But if you haven't, you are in denial again.
Don't let your emotions take over you! You must face the facts!
Just look at this for example:
My god, this is just exploitation! This is disgusting! Such depravity, such vileness. But that's not it, oh no, for there's also:
Oh no... Oh no... They didn't... Yes, yes they did.
Oh Jesus Christ, forgive me.
What. Is. This.
This is... so wrong in so many levels. Gunpei Yokoi must be rolling in his grave right now.
This kind of horrible sexual exploitation would never have been present in all the previous Metroid games.
But this isn't all.
For one thing this game also does is promote sexism.
...
I am... speechless.
I mean, there is a moment where Samus has to be saved by a man. A MAN! WHAT!? And not only that, she also obeys a male military officer!
What has become of Metroid! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?! WHHYYYYY?!?
1. Yoshio Sakamoto
But now you may ask me; Who is the man behind all this? Who would possibly be the one who allowed this to exist?
The answer is simple: Yoshio Sakamoto, the man who co-created Metroid.
But I have a feeling he never actually had a big part in the creation process. He's just there because Gunpei Yokoi felt generous and gave him a faux-title.
This man is a talentless, misogynistic hack. From all the inteviews, we can deduct that he controlled Other M's creation like a brutal dictator who refused to listen to anyone. Case in point, he wanted to keep the NES-style control scheme even after Team Ninja suggested to make the game 3D, even though this decision is a complete idiocy to several true Metroid fans.
But he still did it.
But now you may ask me, why. Why does this man do so many horrible things.
Well, to answer that I began an intence research of Sakamoto. But that research ended earlier than expected, for I have found a shocking discovery.
I'm very disappointed that they never released Tomodachi Collection overseas. It looks pretty fun.
Look at this photo. What may look like a normal mugshot actually contains something... evil. Something so despicable, that mere words cannot describe it.
And I found it.
What I'm gonna present you is one of the most horrifying things you will ever see in your life. Something that will haunt your dreams for the rest of your existance.
The following is not for those of weak-heartead or pregnant, so please turn back while you still can.
And for those brave and valiant... May the heaven help you.
For this is what I found when I zoomed into Sakamoto's eye. [http://i939.photobucket.com/albums/ad231/AnonymousGriffin/sorrysakamotonooffense.png?t=1301672750]
Oh.
My.
God.
The prophesies were true. The ending approaches. The armageddon is coming.
We are all going to die!
... But no, there is still hope left.
For us, for we, the true Metroid community, we must take our arms and FIGHT. Even you, people who wouldn't care less about Nintendo and it's franchises yet still are willing to tell the absolute truth about the game, have the responsiblity to join us in this battle.
Even if you are afraid, even if you think we have no chance against an enemy like this, we must not lose hope!
We will fight against Sakamoto and his maliciousness and bring back the legacy of Metroid! We must not let evil such as this to win!
Join us, brothers, to fight for JUSTICE AND FREEDOM!
And now, I will sing to your sacrifice. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1PBptSDIh8] For your children, your grandchildren, for the future. May god bless thee.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1PBptSDIh8[/youtube]
Win this battle, FOR FREEDOM!
... Incidentially, have I mentioned I love April Fools Day? Yeah, I love April Fools day.
There exist games that are universally known as one of the greatest achievements in gaming history.
There exist games that are universally known as one of the worst things to have ever allow to exist.
Then there's the games that people cannot come to an agreement wheter or not it's good or bad.
Metroid Other M is one of those games.
Metroid Other M is currently one of the most controversial games in recent history, with just a mere mention of it causing hundreds upon thousands upon billions of discussions/rants.
It's a "love it or hate it" game and I mostly stayed on the neutral ground, though more towards like it than hating it. I was willing to defend it if the arguements against the game were completely irrational, unjustified and just simply kind of fanboyish.
But I was wrong.
For today, due to a certain incident which involved a pencil, an eraser and a rubber duck, I saw enlightment.
I saw... the Truth.
It became crystal clear to me: Metroid: Other M is the most depraved, horrible and despicable pieces of creation we have ever allowed to exist.
I couldn't believe how obvious it was. To consider, for this long time I have been standing on the wrong side. To consider, for all this time I have wronged so many people and so many countless lives because of my blindness.
But not anymore. For today I shall atone my sins and wash myself of this filth.
I will list you the ten reasons why Other M is the worst game to have ever existed.
HERE BE THY SPOILERS!!
I
V
8. Sector Zero Scene
If there's one moment in this game that clearly shows us how utterly terrible it is, it would be this moment right here.
Now the context is that Adam, Samus' superior officer and father figure, sacrifices himself so the unkillable Metroids cannot spread and so that Samus can finally defeat Ridley herself.
Simple right? NO!
You see, this is one of the most defining stupid moments of this game.
The first problem is that Adam shoots Samus and manages to disable her suit. How? Why?
Fisrt problem is that why would Adam shoot Samus for no reason? Sure, she was established to be very rebellious back when she still served under Adam and that even now she is quite reluctant to take orders, but still. Look at how obedient Samus is. She would lick your boots clean if she had to. There is NO REASON for him to shoot. NONE.
Another problem is how did Adam's freeze gun manage to disable Samus' suit? Is that suit like held by willpower or something now? What, so she wasn't focused enough? Like some stupid Kamen Rider-Tokusatsu crap? This is stupid.
And finally, why would Adam sacrifice himself and let Samus finish Ridley? Clearly he's got the best weapon ever deviced, enough so to disable SAMUS FREAKIN' ARAN'S POWER SUIT! Come on, he could easily defeat Ridley by himself but he instead kills himself instead?
But this is only the tip of our iceberg.
7. Ridley
OH GOD RIDLEY WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU?!
Now, according to this game, Ridley has this metamorphosis cycle ala Pokemon, where he would start off as a furry, Chocobo-rabbit... thing and then evolve into a furry lizard and then in to the space dragon we all know and love.
But why? None of the other games never made this apparent, so where the hell did they pull this one from? And second, this is just plain stupid, and anyone who disagrees are wrong.
Ridley has always been a badass space dragon, so giving him this stupid Pokemon transformation thing is really jarring. Plus, it's completely unnecesarry. How does this improve the Metroid lore? ABSOLUTELY NONE, just like how this game is a blasphemy on the Metroid franchise!
Whoever came up with this is clearly stoned off their minds and should lay off their Pokemon.
Besides, who plays Pokemon anymore?
6. Adam
Everything about this guy is pure idiocy. Nothing he does make any sense. What gives him the authority to order me, SAMUS FREAKIN' ARAN, to do these things? Look, just because he is a high-command military officer and the protagonist's father figure she hasn't met in years, doesn't justify me to listen him.
And he's commands make no sense either. Why the hell can't I use the Screw Attack? Or the Speed Booster? Who can I possibly hurt? There is nothing I can possibly harm in any way!
Also, there's "Hell Run". Oh god, "Hell Run".
This has got to be one of the worst, if not THE WORST moments in video game history.
I mean, I can't believe it. It's the embodiment of how utterly horrible this game is and how horrible this moment is.
It's nonsensical, illogical and cosmically dumb in every sense of the word.
Why in the hell doesn't Adam authorize the use of Varia suit before I went to a FREAKIN' LAVA ZONE? If he's supposed to see what samus also sees, can't he see that pile of steaming hot molten rock? And why does he authorize the use of the Varia Suit only when I encounter the boss monster!
Some say this is a gameplay thing that hasn't been thought out well, but I say it clearly is the sign of how massively catastrophic this game is.
And wait, I have to endure this guy IN FUSION AS WELL?
... Though then again, who cares about Fusion, am I right?
Plus he's ugly.
5. Samus' Characterization
Oh god. Oh Jesus Christ. OH GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!
*Inhale*
I mean this... I mean this is... I mean... Wow. Just, wow. Is there anything holy in this world anymore?
This has got to be, the absolute worst, THE WORST THING that has happened in gaming history. Period.
There is absolutely nothing redeemeable and I mean nothing in this horrible betrayal of such epic levels.
Not only is she totally not what I expected her character to be, but she is a WHINY LITTLE B*TCH! Every moment she spends is nothing but constantly whining and monologueing her problems. EVERY. WAKING. MINUTE.
No breaks, no time outs, we aren't let a single MINUTE without her monologuing in that bimbo animu voice.
Seriously, listen to what she said in the first ten minutes of the game
"Pierced my heart"
Oh no... she didn't... no... NO!
WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU, SAMUS?!
I mean, Samus has always supposed to be this Sarah Connor/Ellen Ripley type of character who is stoic, completely devoted to her profession and doesn't take sh*t from anyone. She speaks little and does alot, only letting those uneducated people to guess what she might be like and is ultimately also a great character that you the player can be like, basically a female Gordon Freeman. That's what makes her a great character, she is a symbol of true power and feminism in video games.
But now she is emotional and melancholic. WHY? She is SAMUS FREAKIN' ARAN! The destroyer of WORLDS! What does she has to be so emotional about?
Oh because of the Infant Metroid? Why? I don't see it, where the hell did they pull this from?
Also, she talks about the Baby. All. The. Damn. Time.
Every wking minutes, it's BABY this or BABY that. Nothing but BABIES!
She never stops talking about the freakin' Baby. NEVER EVEN ONCE.
I like how they used the Ridley scene instead of an actual moment where she actually talks about the Baby.
Oh, and that's not it.
Then there is... the most despicable of them all. The most incredible atrocity ever commited to mankind.
I present you: The Ridley Scene.
...
That sound you just heard was me bleeding from all my orifices.
This... I have nothing. Absolutely nothing.
This is... the worst moment in my life. I'm serious. This has to be the worst thing I've ever had to experience.
But... I have to try. I have to atone my sins I have commited against the true Metroid community.
First of all, why does Samus fear something that she has beaten A WHOLE FIVE TIMES! IT. MAKES. NO. SENSE!
I mean, isn't this supposed to be routine to her? She only fought him like, five times now?
Oh sure, Ridley killed her parents and all, but so what? Oh, she has a PTSD now? Oh looks like people are going to try to add significance to a make believe character who lives in a sci-fi make believe world. Let's take the fun out of games and make it as real as possible. I mean, aren't games supposed to be fun? Why should they attempt to try an tell a story? Nobody wants that!
Plus, shouldn't she already get over her trauma by now? I mean, it's already so routine, shouldn't she get used to it by now?
Hell, imagine if you had a psychotic, almost indestructable serial killer that murdered your parents in the most brutal way possible right in front of your eyes and he doesn't die no matter how many times you kill him, even when the last time involved a whole planet exploding, leaving no possible remains behind. Wouldn't you get used to it too? If you answer no, then you are clearly not thinking straight.
Oh, and I haven't even begin with her voice actor. My god, did they choose the worst voice actor for this job. She is so monotone and unbelieveably dull. When has monologue ever been so monotone? Never, I tell you, NEVER.
I mean... Incredible. Absolutely incredible.
You know what this is like? Valis X.
And for those who don't know, Valis is a sidescrolling-action game series on the Sega Megadrive and TurboGrafx-16. The series wasn't exactly a juggernaut, but it had it's fair share of success and fans.
But when the 20th anniversary came about, the company that made the game had sold the rights to someone else, who decided to retool the series hentai games. Yes, seriously, this actually happened.
And just to top all this, the game itself was abysmal and destroyed all hope of there ever being another Valis game.
And this is exaclty what Metroid Other M is to the series. It's Valis X of Metroid. In fact, it's clearly worse. That is just eldritch.
4. The game is clearly racist against Asians
Now currently there's circulating a fantastic critical and objective article known as "Metroid: Other M - The Elephant In The Room". It makes many compelling arguements that are well thought out and very much makes sense. Every true Metroid fan should read it.
In that article, the writers made a great arguement about how utterly horrible Samus and Adam's relationship is and how it glorifies it. However, if there is one thing the article missed, is it's racism against Asians.
And as a fellow Asian descent, I find this very, very, VERY offensive.
Case in point: K.G. Misawa.
Not only does he fill out all the Asian stereotypes (short and has glasses), he doesn't do or say anything, except the words "Got it!".
This is most obviously telling us that Asians can't speak more than two words and how they are as a race completely useless when faced with adversary.
He is also a possible "Deleter", which also conveys the message that Asians are amoral and inhuman.
This is offensive. To both me and everyone else, but why haven't anyone noticed this?
I suspect the unfortunate truth is that racism against Asians has become prevalent in modern pop culture.
3. Disrespectful to the original series
You know there is something wrong when combat is the best thing in a Metroid game.
I mean, what? Metroid has never been about combat! It's about exploration and atmosphere. But there's no exploration IN ANYWAY and no atmosphere AT ALL. Those who find the people exciting and immersive for the least bit are obviously in denial.
They cannot believe what has happened to their game, and so they lie to themselves.
But you must face the truth. You cannot deny it. The more you deny it, the more stronger it will grow, until it consumes you leaving nothing but a husk of what you are.
2. Sexualization and sexism
From all this wickedness, you might have realized this. But if you haven't, you are in denial again.
Don't let your emotions take over you! You must face the facts!
Just look at this for example:
My god, this is just exploitation! This is disgusting! Such depravity, such vileness. But that's not it, oh no, for there's also:
Oh no... Oh no... They didn't... Yes, yes they did.
Oh Jesus Christ, forgive me.
What. Is. This.
This is... so wrong in so many levels. Gunpei Yokoi must be rolling in his grave right now.
This kind of horrible sexual exploitation would never have been present in all the previous Metroid games.
But this isn't all.
For one thing this game also does is promote sexism.
...
I am... speechless.
I mean, there is a moment where Samus has to be saved by a man. A MAN! WHAT!? And not only that, she also obeys a male military officer!
What has become of Metroid! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?! WHHYYYYY?!?
1. Yoshio Sakamoto
But now you may ask me; Who is the man behind all this? Who would possibly be the one who allowed this to exist?
The answer is simple: Yoshio Sakamoto, the man who co-created Metroid.
But I have a feeling he never actually had a big part in the creation process. He's just there because Gunpei Yokoi felt generous and gave him a faux-title.
This man is a talentless, misogynistic hack. From all the inteviews, we can deduct that he controlled Other M's creation like a brutal dictator who refused to listen to anyone. Case in point, he wanted to keep the NES-style control scheme even after Team Ninja suggested to make the game 3D, even though this decision is a complete idiocy to several true Metroid fans.
But he still did it.
But now you may ask me, why. Why does this man do so many horrible things.
Well, to answer that I began an intence research of Sakamoto. But that research ended earlier than expected, for I have found a shocking discovery.
I'm very disappointed that they never released Tomodachi Collection overseas. It looks pretty fun.
Look at this photo. What may look like a normal mugshot actually contains something... evil. Something so despicable, that mere words cannot describe it.
And I found it.
What I'm gonna present you is one of the most horrifying things you will ever see in your life. Something that will haunt your dreams for the rest of your existance.
The following is not for those of weak-heartead or pregnant, so please turn back while you still can.
And for those brave and valiant... May the heaven help you.
For this is what I found when I zoomed into Sakamoto's eye. [http://i939.photobucket.com/albums/ad231/AnonymousGriffin/sorrysakamotonooffense.png?t=1301672750]
Oh.
My.
God.
The prophesies were true. The ending approaches. The armageddon is coming.
We are all going to die!
... But no, there is still hope left.
For us, for we, the true Metroid community, we must take our arms and FIGHT. Even you, people who wouldn't care less about Nintendo and it's franchises yet still are willing to tell the absolute truth about the game, have the responsiblity to join us in this battle.
Even if you are afraid, even if you think we have no chance against an enemy like this, we must not lose hope!
We will fight against Sakamoto and his maliciousness and bring back the legacy of Metroid! We must not let evil such as this to win!
Join us, brothers, to fight for JUSTICE AND FREEDOM!
And now, I will sing to your sacrifice. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1PBptSDIh8] For your children, your grandchildren, for the future. May god bless thee.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1PBptSDIh8[/youtube]
Win this battle, FOR FREEDOM!
... Incidentially, have I mentioned I love April Fools Day? Yeah, I love April Fools day.
