This is also a great response. After my 5th grade class left, the kids turned into little goody-two-shoes who barely knew what sex was until they got into middle school, so obviously it varies.Nouw said:
Elementary school kids swearing and dating?
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Clarification : I am actually (mostly) AGREEING with the person I am quoting below because he has a similar attitude on it. I am merely putting that out of context to give a slightly different and more detailed perspective, since this is the only part I can disagree with. To put it in other words, I *am* saying you should beat your kids when they really deserve it.
How exactly is a butt-cheek slap that completely fades away in a matter of minutes not ok ?
Physically punishing your child is NOT the same as physical abuse.
There's a big difference between discipline and violence, and yes, parents who can't discern where that difference lies should not touch their children, but COME ON, at a certain age (especially early on, up to 7 or 8 and thereabouts), anything ELSE you try just isn't effective, or worse, it ends up having the opposite effect.
Generation after generation has matured with parental spanking, and we didn't have a generalized discipline problem. Now that it's all of a sudden "not ok to lay a hand on your child", you have THIS situation everybody is complaining about. I'm just saying... it's kind of obvious.
WHY NOT ? Seriously, what's with the wishy-washy attitude ?Swny Nerdgasm said:
How exactly is a butt-cheek slap that completely fades away in a matter of minutes not ok ?
Physically punishing your child is NOT the same as physical abuse.
There's a big difference between discipline and violence, and yes, parents who can't discern where that difference lies should not touch their children, but COME ON, at a certain age (especially early on, up to 7 or 8 and thereabouts), anything ELSE you try just isn't effective, or worse, it ends up having the opposite effect.
Generation after generation has matured with parental spanking, and we didn't have a generalized discipline problem. Now that it's all of a sudden "not ok to lay a hand on your child", you have THIS situation everybody is complaining about. I'm just saying... it's kind of obvious.
I was cussing in 8th grade yet hit puberty in 6th grade. but when I was about to graduate from elementary school I heard of a supposed "relationship" on the school bus & when I was in 7th grade my best friend told me she heard that a cheerleader had slept with someone in her bathroom. =/ I hate rumors.
Heh, I'm not surprised. I volunteered at my little brothers school. The little runts in the elementary wing kept on talking about on how they "got a wicked headshot in BO" and adding unnecessary swears in almost all of their sentences. The same when I went to the junior high wing, except less Call of Duty, more girls dressing in provacotive clothing and leering.
What he was trying to say is that if you JUST spank your kid without even telling him/her what she did wrong, than it won't change their behavior as easily because they just think "Wow, my dad is being a jerk, I guess I'd better be more sneaky about it."Tibike77 said:
Added clarification to the post in question.Ham_authority95 said:
I was actually mostly agreeing with him but took just a part of his post out of context to illustrate my point about the "any physical punishment is bad" attitude OTHER people seem to be a big follower of.
The only part I was not agreeing with was in fact the part quoted, because I wholeheartedly endorse the "you SHOULD spank your kids when they do something monumentally wrong" school of child education.
ANY form of punishment you dole out will "only teach the child it's not ok to do it while you're watching", regardless what the punishment is. Singling out spanking or similar physical punishments makes absolutely no sense.archvile93 said:
Also, the THREAT of physical punishment is more effective than actual punishment (not even a voiced threat, but just one implied by an authoritative, stern voice), and even when actually engaging in physical punishment, "less is more"... but the child needs to be fully aware that physical punishment IS on the table as a valid punishment in case things go too far on his end... THEN you can substitute it with whatever other punishments you prefer.
Ideally, physical punishment should only be employed at all when actions of the child could have lead to permanent physical harm, be it for himself or others, and even then more than just a minor slap/spank in case it's a "repeat offense". For everything else, almost always non-physical punishment, unless repeatedly disobeying here too.
It's also extremely important for the child to know you will never lay a hand on him just because you're angry, but because he did something that was wrong or dangerous.
You can argue as much as you like, but when you see the kid heading towards the wall socket with a fork in his hand, NOTHING compares to a loud shout (to startle and hopefully stall him until you get there) followed by a quick spanking. Then you can calmly explain why that was a bad thing as much as you like.
I swore in grade 6. Hell, I might have sworn in grade 5. And I wasn't a rebel kid or anything.
Also, I had a crush on a girl in grade 6, and at the time I would have loved a long term relationship with her.
Am I completely messed up today? Not at all. Are all my relationships now shallow and meaningless? Actually, I've only been in one in my life and I'm still happily in it. Do I swear all the time? No.
Stop overreacting. The argument that kids are getting worse is wrong. The problem is that people are turning into geezers sooner. I imagine that in 10 years, most 20-30 year olds will be screaming at kids to get off their lawn and turn off that damn rock n roll.
Also, I had a crush on a girl in grade 6, and at the time I would have loved a long term relationship with her.
Am I completely messed up today? Not at all. Are all my relationships now shallow and meaningless? Actually, I've only been in one in my life and I'm still happily in it. Do I swear all the time? No.
Stop overreacting. The argument that kids are getting worse is wrong. The problem is that people are turning into geezers sooner. I imagine that in 10 years, most 20-30 year olds will be screaming at kids to get off their lawn and turn off that damn rock n roll.
whats so strange about kids trying to act like adults? i remember cursing being normal in 3rd grade (and i grew up in a mostly christian mountain community) and i asked out my first girlfrend in 5th grade and was considered late to the game
kids try to be grown-ups and grown-ups believe in the innocence of youth; both live in a fantasy land
kids try to be grown-ups and grown-ups believe in the innocence of youth; both live in a fantasy land
They had good reason to get married at their mid teens at the time. Nowadays, it's well beyond impractical (But yet people seem to insist anyway) Hmm I wonder why.Tibike77 said:
Anyway, Sexual maturity refers to the age at which a woman can physically bear children. The guy I quoted expects preschoolers to begin having sex soon - which after thousands of years of advancement, still doesn't look like the age of sexual maturity would drop to that age. Better luck next time :]
Even better is negative and positive reinforcement together. As in, respect and maybe a treat for being good and a cuff 'round the ear for fucking up.Tibike77 said:
eventually they'll learn that an innocent childhood is a terrible thing to waste. I still try and have fun and be carefree, but it's a lot tougher when your an adult. it's not your job to worry, that's for parents. enjoy YOUR life and don't freak out about theirs.
