Embarrassing rubber johnnies/prophylactic purchasing situations - "The Mission"

[EchetusXe]

Not getting any in my life, I nonetheless buy the things on a fairly regular basis because it's cleaner and easier ro rub one out into a creamcatcher than kleenex or a sock, so I'm pretty much going through a 36-box of lifestyles every two to three weeks. That gets expensive at $17 a box. No it's not "oh shit I have to switch from Heinz to store brand ketchup" bank-breaking expensive, but it is $300 a year compared to a sock you had to wash anyways. Anyhoo, these 36pk boxes go on sale for $10 or $11 at my local drugstore some times, and when it does, I tend to stock up on three or four boxes at a time, and standing at the checkout with 144 condoms does get you the funny looks.

They are thinking 'that boy must be doing some serious fucking!'

 

[Proteus214]

Whenever I buy condoms I always try to buy one other suspicious or suggestive item to go with it, like a spatula...or a squash...or a water gun.

 

[Blow_Pop]

speaking of funny
the perfect back to school supplies
go walgreens

Spoiler

I like playing the game of buying condoms and two other random items at the store and trying to out do my friends

 

[Dragonblade146]

I was behind this one guy.
He bought a tub of rubber, a cucumber and condoms.
I coouldn't help but laugh, while the female cahsier gavbe me the look to not laugh...
And then out of my own stupidity I said.
Having a party tonight.
The cashier lost it.
And the dude gave me the dirteist look ever.

 

[Good morning blues]

Jesus christ are you people all twelve years old? People buy condoms at supermarkets all the time, it's not a notable event for anybody. I have no idea how you people would deal with going to a sex shop.

 

[DJShire]

I have never had any problem buying anything like that....not even the disposable vibrating penis ring (which is awesome by the way).

 

[Woodsey]

First time I bought condoms, I just brought 'em to the front.
I figured, what the hey? People use 'em!

So I buy them without much trouble, and the cashier, a younger girl, said the traditional: 'Have a good night'.
So I look at her, and said 'Yeah, I totally will!'.
Hah! Her face was more red then mine ever could be.

Props. Nice one.

My stories mostly consist of
Her: "Is that a condom? I cant believe you'd bring a condom on a date!"
Me: "Umm...It's just a special band aid designed for people with large fingers."
Her: "No it's not. I can see it. Its a condom."
Me: "Err...always be prepared?"
Her: "Jerk" *leaves*

You should of said "Well, if you're offering" before she left.

 

[skithemadrussian]

I used to feel embarrassed at first... now my thinking changed to the opposite. Its usually the cashier that's the most embarrassed and it provides me with unlimited amusement. Nowadays I just buy condoms with whatever else miscellaneous things I need. Last time this elderly lady was at the register at a local pharmacy. I confidently walked up to the table and laid out a pack of condoms, some lube, sour cream, bananas, and whipped cream (the latter 3 for eating... in the normal way); all the while looking straight into her eyes. She was so silent as her mind took it all in and made her own conclusions... it was priceless. It's even better if there's a lot of people in line.

Everyone is so embarrassed about it, but really if you flaunt it you'll have so much fun looking at people's reactions.

 

[Insanum]

The thing about condom-buying is the embarrassment fades the more often you do it, because in truth, the cashiers really don't give a shit unless the person buying them is really young or really old. What does get the raised eyebrows and in turn, a red face and fluttery stomach, is buying larger-than-normal amounts of condoms...

Not getting any in my life, I nonetheless buy the things on a fairly regular basis because it's cleaner and easier ro rub one out into a creamcatcher than kleenex or a sock, so I'm pretty much going through a 36-box of lifestyles every two to three weeks. That gets expensive at $17 a box. No it's not "oh shit I have to switch from Heinz to store brand ketchup" bank-breaking expensive, but it is $300 a year compared to a sock you had to wash anyways. Anyhoo, these 36pk boxes go on sale for $10 or $11 at my local drugstore some times, and when it does, I tend to stock up on three or four boxes at a time, and standing at the checkout with 144 condoms does get you the funny looks.

Speaking about funny...

Thanks for mentally Scarring me.

When i got with my Ex she once dragged me out of bed (we didnt live together) and we went to the local supermarket (asda) to purchase "the goods".

Anyways, I looked like shit (been up like 15 mins) so she went in for me, And bumped into LOADS of people she knew. Im soooo glad i didnt go in, As we weren't all that officially at the time.

The rest of the time I just use the "autopay" things.

 

[_Janny_]

If for nothing more than your story telling skills, I have to rate your first post at 10/10! Best thing I've read all day. Don't really have anything to add though. Good luck!

Exactly what I wanted to post.

Mr. Chilli Dog, you simply rock for writing something so enjoyable and equally hilarious. Looking forward to your next threads!

 

[Skuffyshootster]

speaking of funny
the perfect back to school supplies
go walgreens

Spoiler

I like playing the game of buying condoms and two other random items at the store and trying to out do my friends

I find it funnier that the large size condoms are called "magnums".

As for a story, I went to Camp Airy, which is a pretty big sleepaway camp here on the East Coast. Rumor had it that there were banana flavored condoms in the nurses office, but if they were for the counselors or the kids I'll never know.

EDIT: There was a sister camp named Camp Louise a couple miles away. There was no gay sex, at least that I knew of.

 

[Chuplayer]

It was Christmas morning, and I had just gotten a Gamecube, Super Mario Sunshine, and Star Fox Adventures. All was wonderful. Then I went to check my stocking.

Condoms were in the stocking.

I ran downstairs all embarrassed and just wanted to hook up my Gamecube.