Embarrassing sex-related stories

[DrRockor]

I can't contribute any of my own stories because I have none and I'm forever alone but my friend told me that once him and his ex had just finished when her mom knocked on her door. She jumped up and answered it while he was naked under the blanket. After they finished their conversation her mom yelled hello to him. It's probably funnier to me because I knew her mom but still I think it's funny.

 

[Biosophilogical]

What are your most embarrassing sex-related stories?

That I haven't had any yet.

ZING!

Oh boy that slaps me on the knee!

...same here.*sad face*

Maybe we can form a club!

OT: The closest thing I have to an embarrassing story is the first time I tried masturbating I didn't finish because I didn't know what was supposed to happen and abandoned ship/aborted the mission in panic.

 

[LiftYourSkinnyFists]

What are your most embarrassing sex-related stories?

That I haven't had any yet.

ZING!

Find someone who likes MLP who has (ﾉ◕ヮ&#9685ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

 

[Smithburg]

I once had sex with a porpoise. Or was it a dolphin?
Eh, either way, one blow hole is the same as the next to me.
[sup][sup]Broken reference man awaaaaaaaaay![/sup][/sup]

...
...
...
...So you had sex with a dolphin on porpoise? XD

 

[Gizmo]

The first time that I ever had anal sex, was when I was on a family vacation with my girlfriend at the time, it was a camping trip and their was only one very large tent for her family.

It was about 3 or 4 in the morning so everyone was asleep, either way we were in the same sleeping bag and in a spooning position. Every time there was the slightest of sounds I would have a mini heart attack.

 

[Flamezdudes]

What are your most embarrassing sex-related stories?

That I haven't had any yet.

ZING!

Oh boy that slaps me on the knee!

...same here.*sad face*

Maybe we can form a club!

OT: The closest thing I have to an embarrassing story is the first time I tried masturbating I didn't finish because I didn't know what was supposed to happen and abandoned ship/aborted the mission in panic.

Yes please and perhaps club members can perform activities with eachother...

...like play video games! Yeah!

The first time that I ever had anal sex, was when I was on a family vacation with my girlfriend at the time, it was a camping trip and their was only one very large tent for her family.

It was about 3 or 4 in the morning so everyone was asleep, either way we were in the same sleeping bag and in a spooning position. Every time there was the slightest of sounds I would have a mini heart attack.

Why would you have anal sex in a tent full of family members?

 

[Gizmo]

What are your most embarrassing sex-related stories?

That I haven't had any yet.

ZING!

Oh boy that slaps me on the knee!

...same here.*sad face*

Maybe we can form a club!

OT: The closest thing I have to an embarrassing story is the first time I tried masturbating I didn't finish because I didn't know what was supposed to happen and abandoned ship/aborted the mission in panic.

Yes please and perhaps club members can perform activities with eachother...

...like play video games! Yeah!

The first time that I ever had anal sex, was when I was on a family vacation with my girlfriend at the time, it was a camping trip and their was only one very large tent for her family.

It was about 3 or 4 in the morning so everyone was asleep, either way we were in the same sleeping bag and in a spooning position. Every time there was the slightest of sounds I would have a mini heart attack.

Why would you have anal sex in a tent full of family members?

Things just happen, also we were average teenagers and just wanted to have sex constantly.

 

[Master_of_Oldskool]

Fellow Escapists, please gather around for Story-time with Oldskool, as I share the interesting (to me), thrilling (also to me), uncomfortable (to most of the population), and almost certainly fictional tale of...

Spoiler: How I Lost My Virginity!

It all began with a family vacation to North Carolina. Being one of the older children, I was trusted to go off on my own so long as I didn't do anything illegal. Walking along the beach one night, I happened across a bonfire surrounded by merry Southern revelers, and North Carolina being that sort of state, they invited me for a drink, which I happily took. Several times, in fact. As the night went on, I began chatting up a truly stunning redhead who seemed to be pretty into me. Being at this point too inebriated to form a creative or coherent description, all I could think was that she looked like Lily Cole. I reasoned that if I could just drink a bit more, I might unlock the sort of Hemingway-cum-Byron poetic genius that only comes to drunks. Long story short, I blacked out. When I came to in the morning, I found myself stark naked, entangled with said redhead. As I mentioned, she looked like Lily Cole the night before. But now, in the cold light of sobriety- my God.

She still looked like Lily Cole.

There was a minor hangup there, though.

You see, when she was drunk, she though I looked like Kurt Cobain.

I really, really don't.

So, she started to freak out- and so did I, because I didn't recognize the place and I assumed there were male relatives nearby who would be very interested to know I'd just plowed their daughter/sister/cousin/whatever. After she got a few articles of clothing on, though, I noticed that she was going for the window. "What are you doing?" I asked. "This is your house, isn't it?"

"No" she says. "This is your house.

I look around. And I realize with stark horror:

This is my little cousin's room.

By some brilliant freak coincidence he'd gone to bed with my aunt and uncle that night, so we weren't caught.

Perhaps the saddest part of the story is this: I may or may not have actually had sex with the girl.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

snip

?! I swear I've never read the same story twice from you! =P

**looks innocent**

Why would I tell the same story twice? Wouldn't that be redundant?

Anyway - I've been sexually active for 15 years now - I've had a lot of time to build up some fun and interesting stories.

Oh, here's one that didn't happen to me, but to a friend of mine.

She and this guy were hooking up for the first time. They'd finished once and were warming up for round two with some foreplay when the guy's roommate walked in on them.

The guy she was having sex with freaked out and pulled up the blanket to cover himself, incidentally knocking her out of the bed. She fell, naked, on the floor while he hid under his blanket.

It was around then, amidst the laughter of the guy's roomate, that she picked up her clothing and the shattered remains of her dignity and left.

The guy later tried to apologize for knocking her off the bed, exposing her to his roommate, and generally being a giant douche. He wanted her to forgive him and go out with him again.

Needless to say, she did not forgive the guy - and with good reason. I knew him too, and he was pretty much an asshole.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Why would you have anal sex in a tent full of family members?

Things just happen, also we were average teenagers and just wanted to have sex constantly.

I at least hope you had some good lube with you. Yikes!

I mean, I like anal as much as the next girl (or more), but... yikes! That doesn't sound like a very comfortable position to experiment from.

 

[Gizmo]

Why would you have anal sex in a tent full of family members?

Things just happen, also we were average teenagers and just wanted to have sex constantly.

I at least hope you had some good lube with you. Yikes!

I mean, I like anal as much as the next girl (or more), but... yikes! That doesn't sound like a very comfortable position to experiment from.

Let's just say I wish that I had more.

 

[Jaeke]

Hehehe, 69 comments on the homepage.
Sorry, just had to throw that out.
I'm underaged so no stories from me.

 

[Griffolion]

Well, this one time (not at band camp), for one reason or another, I wasn't able to last particularly long. Long story short, it all became incredibly funny when FOTC's "Business Time" song came on.

If you want the bit that made it funny, just fast forward to 2:45


Needless to say, she called me "intense" the whole night...

 

[mattttherman3]

I am legitimately surprised that this thread hasn't been shut down. Anyway, not really embarassing as it is funny, my sister would always randomly open my bedroom door, several times she almost caught me wanking, well one day I decided f this and was naked and she burst in the room right while I was in the middle. She has never burst into my room unanounced since.

 

[Cimerax]

I've done things that some would call "nasty."
And you know what? I'm not ashamed of ANY of it! Of course, I'm not planning to share, because there may be conservatives reading.

 

[Elementary - Dear Watson]

My advice to everone is that romantic, sexual baths are not at all a good idea.

So, it was all planned... I'd got bubble bath, and candles and everything, and we were home alone! Started off great, dinner, film that got us in the mood (no, not that type of film... but Cruel Intentions is not far off in places!) and then we headed up...

I ran the bath, in between us undressing in a kind of passionate fury, but in my eagerness didn't remember that I personally like my baths and showers a fair bit hotter than most people...

The bath started off ok, I guess... Wasn't quite sure what we were meant to do once we were in that cramped space, but we rolled with it and it was ok... but then she kinda looked a bit tired... I opened the window, realising that it was like a sauna in there, but it didnt help, seconds later she passed out with heat exhaustion...

So there I am, naked and soapy, lifting another slippery naked soapy person out of the bath, and onto a towel on the floor, putting her in the damn recovery position, and finally trying to cool her down as much as possible... not easy with underfloor heating...

Damn mood pretty much ruined for the night...! :/

 

[Canadamus Prime]

What are your most embarrassing sex-related stories?

That I haven't had any yet.

ZING!

That I'm 30 years old and I haven't had any yet. :|

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

My advice to everone is that romantic, sexual baths are not at all a good idea.
I ran the bath, in between us undressing in a kind of passionate fury, but in my eagerness didn't remember that I personally like my baths and showers a fair bit hotter than most people...

So there I am, naked and soapy, lifting another slippery naked soapy person out of the bath, and onto a towel on the floor, putting her in the damn recovery position, and finally trying to cool her down as much as possible... not easy with underfloor heating...

Damn mood pretty much ruined for the night...! :/

Wow. That sucks.

For more roominess, try a hotel with a jacuzzi suite. Those tubs are (typically) larger and better suited for that sort of thing.

Also, let your sig other draw the water, perhaps? ^^;;

Also - bring some bath-safe lube if you plan on underwater penetration. Most lube (natural and store bought water-based) tends to wash away, which can cause problems.

Honestly, the easiest way to go about it is foreplay above the belt in the tub, everything else on the bed afterwards. As sexy as I find the idea of underwater sex, it's kind of difficult to actually make work without a lot of preparation and forethought.

 

[Irridium]

Well, my story isn't about the sex per-say, but after it. It was at her house, and being alone in her house and teenagers and whatnot, we started having sex. Well, her friends came over and apparently started watching us from the window. We didn't pull down the blinds before we started for some reason. Anyway, her window did face into the backyard, where people rarely walk through, but it's a quick way from a friend of her's house to hers. After it was all said and done, we got dressed, they knocked on the door, came in, and started "critiquing" our performance. One of her friends (who really doesn't like me) also said how "cute" my penis looked.

>_<

But according to them, I'm "not bad". So there's that!

 

[SadisticBrownie]

I was 17, with my laptop in the bathroom, doing what 17-year old boys do in bathrooms. My mum comes down, asks what the noise is (she thought I was listening to music). I, being an idiot, forwent the escape route and denied any noise. Then I was stuck with the issue of getting my laptop back to my room, past my mum. I eventually decided to hide it in the washing basket, and then proceeded to quickly return to my room, planning to retrieve it later.
After about ten minutes, she came in with the laptop, set it down, and we had a very awkward moment. Thankfully, she's never mentioned it since.
In terms of actual sex, not much except being really drunk and fingering a girl in the middle of a crowded nightclub on holiday, with lots of people watching. Though to be fair, we were far from the only ones doing stuff like that, I'm pretty sure there were two people having actual sex against a wall.