Embarrassment over being a "gamer"

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

Very recently actually. I'll spare the details, but suffice to say I felt ashamed, and I was surprised I felt ashamed. I've always said you shouldn't be ashamed of liking games. And that moment really screwed with my brain. Its weird really...

As for you, well I'd say to not feel ashamed, but after my little story, I don't know what to say. I guess don't feel ashamed? Hypocritical yes, but its true.

Also, see what theonlyblaze2 said.

yeah this.

in my class the teacher before our class had a bunch of stuff laying around,(i'm in the front) and my teacher picked up a computer part going "what is this and why is it just laying around?" and some guy said "probably some nerd" in which half the class snickered a bit and i muttered to the teacher "that's ram, you probably had a leak or he was updating it (it was ddr2)" in which before saying that, i felt smart, actually knowing what it was and as soon as the words left my mouth a huge wave of embarrassment flew on my back and i didn't turn around the rest of the class period.

i always say im not ashamed of being a gamer at all, i dedicate quite a bit of time to it and i highly enjoy it, but whenever put in an environment with people i dont know, i still feel embarrassed about it.

 

[Austin Howe]

Never. Ever since I was a small child, after playing the end of Metal Gear Solid, I have always defended this medium.

 

[Grabbin Keelz]

I usually don't talk about specific games with my parents, they just never understand.

 

[rockingnic]

I usually hide the fact I play games. I don't call myself a gamer because I mainly play game because I have nothing else to do, otherwise I would only play them when others ask me to. I never prioritize gaming over my social life. Out of all my friends I hang with often, about 15, only 3 know I game and maybe a couple have had hints that I might game but the majority don't even think about me and gaming (as far as I know). I'm not embarrassed as much just don't want people assuming I might be something although I'm not it. I just hate when people assume I'm something I'm not. I'm not really a nice person, I think, I just do nice things every now and then, otherwise I'm more "neutral" than nice, but some people think I'm a nice person.

 

[Trolldor]

I usually don't talk about specific games with my parents, they just never understand.

"No dad, I was just killing the hooker to get my money back!"

 

[Sinclair Solutions]

All the time. I only wait until I'm with certain people to talk about games. Anytime else, I don't even try to bring it up. I would just get the "what is he talking about" stare. Also, a lot of times, a video game discussion or reference just isn't needed.

 

[thedeathscythe]

I consider people who are just beginners at something to be that thing. Someone just learning guitar is a guitarist, sure, they aren't the best guitarist but they are a guitarist all the same. I consider you a gamer. That is not a negative thing, and maybe you aren't the most avid or skilled gamer but you are still a gamer, you are just beginning and figuring out what fun it can be and how far the medium can go. I have many tattoos related to gaming, and people everyday try and drill me about it, not just that I have tattoos but that I'm a gamer. They say "So when you grow up, are you still going to be a gamer?" and I tell them that they just don't understand. I could explain it but I don't have time for those people. You do what you love and that's that.

My dad is getting close to 50 and he's an avid snowmobiler, he browses the forums and stuff like that (which I only found out about a couple months ago, my dad using a forum? Pretty cool) and when I think about it, besides him, all the snowmobilers I know are in their 20's. But my dad's been doing it since he was about 15, and he hasn't stopped. You don't stop liking something simply because you're older, you don't get older and say "I don't really like cheeseburgers anymore, I'm a vegetarian now that I'm 40."

 

[Sniper Team 4]

I'm trying to think, and not a single time is coming to mind. There have been people who have tried to make fun of me for it, but since I'm always talking with another gamer, the person quickly realizes that they don't have a chance and ends up being the one with the blushing face. For instance, the other night at work I did my best impression of Doctor Richtofen from Nazi Zombies when he gets the Thunder Gun. "What is this? It cannot be, it is the DG-3. Could it be that the DG-3 is just for me?! Ha HA!" I did that last laugh part REALLY loud, and two of my coworkers stared at me and asked, "What the hell are you doing?" However, since I was talking to another coworker about the game, he busted up laughing right away, and the other two quickly realized they had missed something.
So I guess no, I've never felt embarrassed by it. It sounds like the people in your class just don't get it.

 

[FuzzyRaccoon]

I used to be ashamed of enjoying videogames. I used to be downright AFRAID that people would learn about all of my geeky obsessions and interests. There have been plenty of times when I've downplayed my interest in videogames by asserting things like "I like them, but I'm terrible" or "Well I don't play much, maybe an hour a week". It wasn't until a few years ago when I got a stronger grasp of myself as a person and became more comfortable with myself that I actually managed to stop caring how people would judge me.

On that note, more recently I've been thinking of something Yahtzee mentioned in one of his videos. He suggested that the term "gamer" not be used anymore, that if we tried to not place a label on it, it could become something as natural and as a part of our culture as say television. I've been considering this more and more, and especially how gaming could be used as a very important learning tool.

Ah, woah, sorry for getting a little off track there. In the end, all I meant was that it seems like recently I've become even more into videogames, but I don't think it's a bad thing. Rather I think that the people who scoff at video games or consider it a huge waste of time are limiting themselves from experiencing something potentially uplifting/soothing/exciting.

 

[Dreiko_v1legacy]

I'm a gamer but more importantly I'm an anime fan. I'm used to people not getting it and I've explained things to non-fans or even negatively predisposed people so many times that I never get embarrassed by any such thing. As long as you treat it seriously and are quick to dismiss any stereotypical inaccuracies you encounter it's very easy to be proud of your interest.



Being embarrassed about being perceived a gamer is something you do when you haven't accepted who you are enough to feel strong about your true self regardless of what others may perceive you to be.

In the end nobody perceives you as you actually are (or as you perceive yourself, most of the time the two are not the same), it's just a difference of margins of error, thus why bother being affected by one wrong perception more than all the rest.

 

[darth.pixie]

I've never felt ashamed of playing video games. I think it's because of the environment I grew up in. I started playing games around middle school casually and in high school started playing more often and just more. I also studied in a high school where there were mostly rich kids who usually owned an Xbox and a Playstation along with a PC and they played games like Halo, COD or NFS often enough (possibly because it was an expensive hobby and not too demanding).

I did get laughed at for talking about games with another gamer in class but that was only because that was the only thing we ever did.

Now I'm in college, studying engineering and computer science. There are people there that call themselves gamers (when they clearly don't know much) so as to get attention. So I suppose it depends on the environment you're often in. I think the reason gamers sometimes feel ashamed of it is because it's a time consuming, expensive hobby that ultimately doesn't result in anything useful.

 

[Forktongue]

Now, that's interesting. Wouldn't it be a better argument to say that the public perceives that gamers have "nothing to show for [playing games]"? I think that's more accurate, since it seems that gamers themselves feel they have something to show for it. (Also, where did you take a course on the history of videogames?)

Interesting post, thanks.

That was my argument too. I think the instructor was coming from the point of view that a hobby is a generally creative past-time. I argued that not all hobbies are a creative process. I don't know if it's that the public perceives gamers as having nothing to show, or that the public still views games as a hobby for children. In the public eye, it seems that anyone who plays videogames (no matter how often) has somehow refused to grow up. Which dovetails nicely into the "racist, homophobic, socially-awkward shut-in" stereotype that most gamers are hit with.

Both sides are at fault for that though. Sure, people who don't play games can get this idea of what a gamer is from anti-gaming lobbyists and the "games destroy our youth" crowds, but if you knew nothing about gaming culture and turned on G4, what opinions of gamers would you walk away with?

I took the course on videogame history at an art school in Northern California. About half of the class was people who had no interest in games but thought the course would be an easy-A. Needless to say that the class was a lot smaller by mid-terms.

 

[GotMalkAvian]

I've been playing video games since I was three (I just turned 28, for reference), and I've seen a lot of changes happen to gaming and gamers over the last two decades.

When I was younger (early grade school), video games were kind of a rarity. A decent number of kids had consoles, but you always asked if someone played video games. Games were discussed almost privately in hushed voices, and in general video games weren't an acceptable hobby.

Now, flash forward today, where the question has changed from "do you play video games?" to "what consoles do you have?" A lot of people play video games in some form or another. There are the "hardcore gamers" (I use that label for anyone who owns a gaming system and regularly plays commercially published games on it), the "casual gamers" (people who probably own a console, but may only play social games on it or mainly use it for streaming netflix or other non-gaming functions), and the "non-gamers" (people who "don't play video games," but are still somehow addicted to Farmville...). Sure, there are some people who still don't engage in any sort of electronic gaming, but they're getting to be a rare breed.

I think we've come to a point where "casual gamers" and "non-gamers" want to enjoy video games in their own way without being labeled as gamers, so they mock the "hardcore" gamers to create what they feel is a level of distinction that distances them from the "nerdy" hobby.

Personally, I'm a hardcore gamer and I'm proud of it. I always have been, and I always will be. If anything, I'm getting geekier with age. I took up D&D (the traditional tabletop version) just a few years ago, and I have absolutely no shame about pushing thirty and being a gaming geek.

As for your level of embarassment, I can't tell you why you felt the way you did. In my experience, people will always try to label other people, and they'll be wrong at least as often as they'll be right, so there's no point in caring about it.

 

[GotMalkAvian]

I don't know about embarrassed but I'm certainly not gonna approach a woman and say, "So, played any good video games lately?"

Why the hell not? As far as I'm concerned, I'd rather find someone who shares my interests than avoid rejection. Would you be embarassed to ask if she'd seen any good movies lately?

 

[BreakfastMan]

While I greatly dislike the term "gamer", I have never been embarrassed to be seen as one. I really like games a whole heck of a lot. My future career is in the game industry. I love the art (for yes, it is an art) of game design. Why should I feel ashamed for being who I am? I don't display it loud and proud (that just seems obnoxious to me), but if someone asks me whether I play games, I will answer "Heck Yes!" every single time, no matter who it is.

 

[TPiddy]

I think the problem the gaming industry faces is the stigma. There's the games cause violence or are nothing but mindless violence. Then there's the gamers are fat loser nerds who live in their parents basement.

The media only ever seems to see the worst of the gaming industry. However, for some reason, the movie industry is not shown in this light, and it produces way worse crap than games do. Look at torture porn or films like the Human Centipede or Sex and the city 2 or Twilight. And yet the movie industry gets a ton of positive spin.

I think part of that is because of actors. Actors can hold up their medium to a higher standard, especially classically trained actors, or actors who have been knighted like Patrick Stewart and Anthony Hopkins. There's a certain amount of class involved and I think it's easier for the general public to recognize a good acting or directing performance than it is to recognize a good game.

The award shows help too. Most of the time, Best Picture, Best Actor, and the like typically go to the best of the best for artistic merit, but also to the films that the industry wants to say 'this is the best we can do'. What video games get the most awards? Typically the video game equivalent of the 'summer blockbuster'. When Call of Duty is your shining example to the world of what a 'good' video game is... then you can see why people make fun of the industry.

The news channels go all ape-shit when there's a brief 'lesbian sex scene' in Mass Effect but yet they applaud Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis for getting it on in the Black Swan. Talk about Hypocrisy.

 

[moretimethansense]

snip

I don't tend to feel embarressed about my being a gamer, though I was suprised by my embarressment at being an Anime fan.
Also if I may pose a hypothetical, it may be that some of those yhat laughed may have been gamers themselves and either kicking themselves for not having thought of it first, or laughing at the concept of taking something they love and making it in to work.
That's one reason I refuse to work in the games industry, it'd take all the fun out of it for me.

 

[omega 616]

Somebody who was making my CV for me said to me "what do you do in your free time?" I proudly said "I play games" so she stuck it down and now when ever I look at my CV I think "should that really be on there?".

While I do love playing games, it has nothing to do with work, so why should it be on there?