Embarrassment over being a "gamer"

[zaiggs]

I actually had a discussion about this in a Liberal Studies class. It seemed that the people that were embarrassed about being called a gamer didn't want to be grouped with the stereotypical image of a "gamer" but they had the same interests in games as most people who perceive themselves as gamers.

I feel gaming is a group with an "in-crowd" type feel. It's seems like a topic that people stay away from in conversation, but when they find that someone else plays games too, it often becomes the main topic of conversation.

I honestly don't talk about games unless I'm with people that I know play games, not because I'm embarrassed about being a gamer. It's just that more than half of game references usually go over the heads of the people who don't game. I try to slip memes and game references into conversations with people to check if gaming's something they're into. I suppose that's kinda dumb though... I'm not that stealthy about it.

 

[Verlander]

snip

No I have never felt ashamed or embarrassed, and nobody has ever made me feel that way. In the UK (where I live) and in my generation(I'm 24) people from all walks of life, all ages, genders, social classes etc play games, whether it's just FIFA and a couple of fighting games, to full blown rpg/rts nuts. You may get ridiculed at school if you are a geek, but not for being a gamer.

If anyone here honestly gets embarrassment or ridicule for being a gamer, I feel for them. Maybe some of the older people on here experience that, but no one my age.

Further thoughts/observations I've made:

- I'm not entirely sure if my reaction was just to the idea of being a gamer, or more specifically to the idea of being an obsessive gamer (for choosing the topic), i.e. am I embarrassed by the label in general, or am I specifically embarrassed by the idea that I've been seen as fitting a social stereotype about gamers...or both?
- I recall now that when I first discussed this topic with my instructor, I opened the conversation with, "I'm not a gamer myself, but I'm interested in gaming culture..." Again, I'm not certain if this reflected some subconscious embarrassment over being identified as a gamer, or just wanting to deflect any assumptions that my interest was immaturely personal and not of serious academic interest. (Or is that again concerns about appearing to fit an ugly stereotype, i.e. the idea of gaming as a frivolous and immature interest?)
- I think if I'd been mistaken for a gamer in a community of other non-specific "geeks," I would not feel the same way even if they were not gamers themselves. I think I might be embarrassed to be presented as having knowledge or a skill set I don't think I have (i.e. "Oh, no, I'm not an expert on Battlestar Galactica, I've only seen a few episodes") so I think the embarrassment is only limited to people I would assume to have little knowledge or acceptance of gaming - not just non-gamers in general.

1)Your reaction is to the laugh. Simple. You are trying to pick out why you are embarrassed, when the answer is clear. People laugh at you, you get embarrassed. If you are wondering why you were laughed at, it's because many people in higher education want to tackle bigger subjects, like discrimination and suchlike.

2)Are you sure that's not just honesty? Also, distancing yourself from the actual subject matter is what academics do. You get very twisted results when the researcher has a large emotional investment in the outcome.

3)That's possible. I mean, throw it to the other massive geek community, the sports community (they ARE geeks, even if they don't embrace the name itself). If someone who maybe only casually supported a sports team was introduced, or considered by a group of people, to be an expert or fanatic of the team, or even sport, that they only had a limited invested interest in, they wouldn't be comfortable with that assumption.

In the long run, you represent the majority of gamers. People who use games as a source of entertainment, casually and as fits in with their lives. "Hardcore gamers" are far rarer, and most people wouldn't recognise them as such on sight. If they did recognise them as something, it would almost certainly be for some other aspect to their personality that is almost synonymous with being a gamer (eg being a comics geek, or fanboy). It's possibel the group laughed as the perception of gamers is not only relatively obvious, or almost non existent.

 

[TornadoFive]

Also, with regards to your paper...isn't the class reaction a great example for the project? A quarter of the people straight up laughed about it. That in itself is interesting to me.

This is the first thing I thought when I read it. An interesting example to use in your paper perhaps?

As for me, I used to be embarressed about being a "gamer" but now, not so much. I played WoW for a while a few years back (I had a few months of free time due to illness) and when someone found out about it, I was ashamed of it. Now I realise that I don't care what they thought about it. It's a good game and I enjoyed playing it. That's all that really matters.

People tend to assocciate gaming with the traditional shut-in anti-social stereotype, and that's partly why we get embarressed about it. We don't want to be labelled like that. I think we're starting to move past that but it lingers around.

Anyway, good luck with your paper. It's an interesting topic. Treat it well!

 

[Doomcat]

Personally i think playing video games is a hobby that is just as valid as walking up to someone and asking if they want to go watch a movie, it's not for everyone, but people do it anyway.

I personally play video games with alot of my free time...I like Movies, Books, and Music too, hell i play the freaking piano! But, I will say that because people have labelled playing games with this social stereotype of this white shut-away nerd who cringes at the sight of sunlight and drinks blood it can be embarrassing to be labelled as such.

However if anyone said something like that to me, i would just say to them that there are people who watch movies in much the same way. My argument probably sucks...but oh well, screw them. It's a hobby i enjoy, hell i might enjoy it a little too much >.> I'll freely admit that. But at least it's something i like to do.

 

[Master Kuja]

I've never felt any shame for being a gamer. Basically everyone I know plays games and practically everyone at my college has been subjected to gaming as a medium in some way, shape or form.

Hell, it's a hobby just like reading, watching movies and listening to music is, I have no reason to feel shame for it.

 

[Scabadus]

I used to be embarased about it, but then I realised that people who would think less of me for playing games are idiots. I don't go ranting about games to every stranger on the street, but neither am I ashamed to say to people that I'm gonna take a lazy evening playing Halo. It's just who I am, and if anyone gives me that look I tell them that they can think what they want, because I don't give a fuck. Most people just blink a couple of times at that, then shrug and move on.

 

[Zantos]

Gaming is, like any other hobby, something to be proud of. I love my games, my gamer buddies, and all the dudes who just come round to play mario kart 64 and guitar hero. It's just some good fun like any other hobby.

And for the record, any killing sprees will be entirely the result of Brian Cox, not as the media would believe the 2 copies of Gears of War i have. That whole people murder because of videogames is completely untrue.

 

[Mr. GameBrain]

I'll admit, I get embarassed sometimes when I admit I'm a Gamer. (Though I prefer to use the term "Video Game Enthusiast" because people can sometimes assume that being a "Gamer" means you play Fifa and Call Of Duty, which I absolutely loathe!! (Give me Okami, Shin Megami Tensei, and other actual games anyday!))

But I'm more annoyed at how narrow minded and dismissive some people can be over this legitimate and arguably very strong and fast growing medium.

My parents don't get why I bought a SNES and some games recently, especially since most of those games are ones I've already had back when we had one as a kid.
I always argue that its no different to car enthusiats buying classic cars!

Games with 2D graphics are apparently "childish" or "kids" games to my parents.
I argue that the very games they used to play, Pac-man and Space invaders would be infant games by their logic!

Anything I ever say about videogames at uni, just goes over my friends heads.
(It makes me quite sad really, since when I was back in secondary school (I went to a grammer school) I had quite a few gamer friends... )

EDIT: Heck, I love Video Games (and the industry as well. Got News feeds and at least 3 forums bookmarked and accesed regularily), so much, that I want to make my own Video Games.
(Though I never get any where, as I am quite lazy, and don't have a huge amount of free time, and I spend most of that playing video Games, and sometimes messing around on my guitar as well).
Yes. My dream is to become a Video Game Producer!!!

In fact, sometimes I am tempted to just give up working on my Business Managment Degree, (Its difficult, Its stressful, and I'm just losing interest in it lately), and just go full push on learning to code, write, sprite, and draw (and maybe model too), and make something cool.

(I guess I just want to play God. To create a living world that others can interact with!
A world in my own image!)

 

[silver wolf009]

I dont care who sees me in my hobby, I take comfort in the fact that my Metagross can beat anyone elses. That alone keeps me going.

 

[Mute52]

I think part of it is that old idea of playing video games being related to being a 'nerd' and everything associated 'nerd' stereotype. When you are around people who like playing games, it's cool, but for some reason when a person who doesn't joins the conversation and you're talking about your latest accomplishments in WoW, well, it's almost always embarrassing.

 

[Booze Zombie]

Games are like any other form of entrainment. I don't get embarrassed about being called a cinema-goer or a music-lover, so I'm not afraid of calling myself someone who enjoys video games.

Unless the movie was Twilight, the music was Justin Bieber... or the game was Dead or Alive Extreme 2.

 

[CATB320]

I don't think I've really felt ashamed about being a gamer -- video games were kind of my childhood, having a geeky dad. But I'm usually careful about who I talk to about video games. Most of my girl friends aren't into them at all, and think they're stupid/lame/just don't understand them/etc, so if I start a sentence with, "In this game I was playing earlier...," things get awkward. Sometimes I've lied in order to talk about a certain scene/character I found really interesting and said it was from a TV show. (Which seems pretty sad now that I think about it) I just wanted to avoid awkwardness and/or embarrassment.

Honestly, I don't see why talking about video games can't just be like talking about movies, or books. It's perfectly acceptable to talk about the latter, but when I bring up video games and want to discuss characters or plot events in the same way, it's suddenly weird.

 

[MetallicaRulez0]

I used to feel embarrassed in high school if I was caught reading a GamePro or something in class. I distinctly remember this chick I had a huge crush on catching me reading a Warcraft 3 strategy guide in the back of the class and being absolutely mortified. I didn't want to be seen as the geeky gamer kid (thank God I never was, at least not by the popular crowd). I do consider myself a geek, perhaps even 'KING OF THE GEEKS!' but God forbid I was ever found out by my peers.

These days I'm a little more comfortable with my geekdom. I think as we get older we all grow more comfortable in our own skin. We begin to care a little bit less about what others think of us and just live our lives as we please.

 

[PayneTrayne]

I've never been embarrassed about my gaming, about my body yes, but my gaming no.

I was a gamer who was on the football team, in an improv troupe, student council and constantly in plays. I broke the stereotype while falling in love with it. A bit cheesy, yeah, but it's true.

 

[Zabriskie Point]

I can definitely relate to this. There's no way in hell I'd tell a girl I like that one of my hobbies is playing video games. It's seen as a childish hobby by society, and gamers are generally looked down upon. It's not gamers' fault, it's not even societies fault. If anything, it's the media's fault.

 

[Hristo Tzonkov]

I'd say it's the image the public imposes on geeks and gamers(like there's a difference to the public between the two) that we find unsettling.It's mostly the antisocial behavior and the thought that grown men/women play "child's" games,the stupid myths that we know we aren't true but still feel ashamed of it.

 

[JUMBO PALACE]

I never feel shamed about being a gamer. I don't go spouting my love of gaming on the street, but I've spoken about games in front of my class, parents, teachers, whatever. I feel that it's a genuine artistic medium, it just hasn't been accepted yet.

 

[Wolfram23]

Interesting topic. Just throwing this out there.

I play quite a bit of video games. I mean not a TON, but enough that since DA2 came out I've logged nearly 30 hours (I guess that means ~15hrs/week).

But my girlfriend... well, she doesn't really like games. She feels they're a useless waste of time. Allow me to elaborate.

Over the christmas break we didn't have any big plans, so aside from some family functions we mostly stayed at home, and for about 3 days solid we both played video games from morning to night. I played Risen and she played Sims 3.

At the end of the break, I felt pretty good. I had fun, although I do wish I had at least got out to the ski hill or something.

My girlfriend, though, was upset. She didn't feel like she accomplished anything, like we wasted our time, our life. She was really mad, was mad at me, blamed me for making her play (???) etc.

Time passed, she didn't game. Until recently - early March. She decided to play through Assassin's Creed 2, which she's played a little bit before with me and really liked. So she beat AC2 in a few days (wow!) and then started AC:B which we just bought together. She beat that as well already.

Now, her bday was March 16 and she took the day off to just play AC:B... and by the time we went to bed, she was pissed. She was again mad she got nothing done, she wasted her time, etc. I should point out here that she's a master's Cell Biology student and is basically writing a Doctorate thesis, and her comittee meeting is coming up in 2 weeks (from now the 28th). So of course there's stress there, but I mean she's working on it all day every day and took 1 full day off, on her bday. But she was upset.

So she didn't play for a bit, and then she went back and played a little AC:B, but only in the evenings for a few hours. It was all good for a bit. Then yesterday happened.

Now, understandably, it's getting quite close to her meeting and she's still got a LOT of work ahead of her. But anyway so it was Sunday. We got up around 11am, went out for some lunch, then went to the mall for a little, then to the grocery store. So we got home around 2 or 3pm. We then did some chores - vacuuming and cleaning up. Then at around 4pm we both sat down to game for a little while. At 6 I mention we should eat soon. At around 7 I quit my game and get her to quit... and then she rages again about wasted time, etc etc. She really freaked out (again, lots of stress to get her writing done) and nearly tossed the disc off our balcony (not joking. I had to stop her). It may or may not be important that she beat the game several days ago and has now nearly platinumed it - she was redoing memories for 100% sync.

So I know that was a lot to read, but if you're still with me, I think it raises an interesting point or two. She doesn't really accept gaming as a valid hobby. She just thinks it wastes time. She said the hours fly by and she has nothing to show for it. She gained nothing... wasted life... no point etc. She also kind of hurt my feelings by saying something along the lines of one of us needs to be responsible at least (even though I have a full time job since graduating with my Mech Eng Tech).

I think it highlights how a lot of people view games. A waste of time. No point. Useless. I know she gets a good experience out of it, I mean she really loves AC2 and AC:B. Yet she also feels bad after playing. Actually one thing she said that was kind of wierd was that her brain felt wierd. I don't know exactly what she meant, I figure she meant sluggish after concentrating for so long... *shrug*

She definitely has trouble with being addicted to games and I guess that might be a source of her ire. If she really gets into it she has trouble stopping, and I know she hates that. I think it makes her feel like a drug addict or something.

But she's also ashamed of it. She's occasionally (albeit rarely) mentioned a bit of shame that I game, like it's shameful of her to love a gamer. Me? I don't really care too much. I know in high school I was a bit shameful of it - at least with strangers/people I didn't know. But now I don't really care.

 

[imagremlin]

Not ashamed at all.

In casual conversation, I have no problems in saying: "My hobby is videogames". Bear in mind I'm 42 so the people I usually talk to tend to be on that age range.

This approach sets the context right. It's a hobby, not an obsession, just as valid as any other hobby or entertainment choice.


Completely off topic PS: Boy, I hate Capthas