Empire: Total War comes tommorow - clip show/recap time! Post your most EPIC total war battle!

[ElArabDeMagnifico]

Empire: Total War is on the horizon, bringing memories of the old games. Reminding us of those certain battles we had that just stick in our head because of how much more exciting they were than the rest.

Try to keep it as short as possible, but not without much detail either.

Mine: In Medieval II Total War, the AI betrayed me, and my heir to the throne was not very well defended. As scotland was marching down from Edinburgh to my capital in england, with a force of unimaginable number. I think this was their entire military. They attacked my Heir, 2 archers, another cavalry unit, and some militia men....

I was Royally fucked here, I kept having to bottleneck troops and my archers eventually ran out of bolts, so they pulled out those little knives they had and joined the militia, and then it eventually all whittled down to my cavalry unit fighting scottish pikemen - It can never be easy can it? - after repeated charges and retreats, I routed the remaining 5 enemies...and then the battle ended.... My remaining troops?

1 - The Heir to the throne. With the scottish betraying me, trying to kill the Heir (and got DAMN close), and their army being whittled down to only 5 pikemen, I told the pope to go fuck himself and I conquered the Scotts.

 

[ElArabDeMagnifico]

Odd, must not be many Total War players on escapist, in a few minutes of this thread's life it shot down to the bottom of the page.

 

[Thomly]

I am totally excited about this game.

I just suck in strategy though, so i just make HUGE armies to crush my enemies

 

[Cousin_IT]

Id be lying if I said I ever had a "memorable" battle in any of the Total War games

 

[Thomly]

I once tried attacking a city (medieval II) with nothing more than archers (and siege equipment). Great tactic, they didn't dare to come out rushing for my archers, so i slowly killed them all. Took a while though

 

[Rooster Cogburn]

If you want to see epic, load up vanilla Rome: Total War and attack the Levant. Egypt will rape you, and it will be epic.

Seriously though, I have not been so excited for a game in a long time. I've preordered Empire: Total War and I'm counting the minutes until its release.

Down with King George! Sic semper tyrannis!

 

[Wicky_42]

I've had a couple, mostly of the horribly-outnumbered-and-yet-victorious type. A ring of praetorians around the end of a bridge in Rome led to one particularly epic win.

Of course, AI exploits are great for amusement too - again in Rome, infinite ammo and siege equipment on attack led to the complete decimation of a Gaelic army without me having to do anything, lol. Left it running at max speed whilst I went out, and when I got back the enemy (what was left of it) was still standing there XD Needless to say, I no longer play with infinite ammo, partly to avoid such temptation again.

 

[Geamo]

I'm so pumped for Empire:Total War. All the previous Total War games i've played have had thier "epic" moments, e.g. in Rome:Total War, the very start of the campaign I (as Scipii) swept in and took Rome. I managed to hold that city for the majority of the campaign, with the other roman factions battering on my gates.

 

[wild_quinine]

Gutted that it's on Steam only - I just can't get with their evil business model. (No second hand sales. Cut you off whenever they feel like it. Take out all your games, if they want. Internet activation for single player games. Forced launch dates, whether you have product in hand or not. No import games. No redress for dispute. All equals: No thanks!)

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

Best battle?

4 units of English Armoured swordsmen defending a fort against two full armies of scots, mostly militias and pikemen. I won. Just.

 

[Ancientgamer]

Mine was also in Medieval II,I was england, and during a war against italy, I sent the remains of a decimated army (one unit of heavy calvery) back towards england to join another army. Along the way, I'm ambushed by a massive rebel army, lead by a general who had recently defected from me. I decided to play it out on the battle map for lulz, so here's the setup.

Me: 12 troops, heavy calvary, Max endurance discipline and armour.

Rebels: Alot of Militia, two units of spearmen, two units of archers, several artillery, Three calvary units including a generals bodygaurd, All totaling about 825 troops.

The map had a large flat plane, with one hill directly in the center. The hill had a small castle right on top.

At first I spent some time skimming around their edges and killing any troops that were standing too far out from the body of the army. I quickly had to stop, as the archers were battering my horses with arrows. Having hid behind the hill to let the horses rest for a while, I got an Idea,I stared baiting them. Running right in front of their troops and back off again. Eventually, their entire army went out to go after me. Circling around the hill, I lead them on a chase, but since they all moved at different speeds, they got separated from each other, strung out around the hill. I would repeatedly run around the hill and hit whatever units were stragling from behind, then, as the entire army turned to chase me the other way, I would turn around and repeat the process in reverse, ad nauseum, for an hour.

Eventually my troops were wiped out via the occasional hail Mary shots, and the inevitable attrition, but It's still my greatest "victory". In the final body:

I had killed all their archers, all their spearmen, all their artillery, a unit of calvary, and thinned out their militia. They ended up with 105 men remaining.

So my twelve valiant knights succeeded in killing 720 opponites, reducing a viable threat to mear shambles that couldn't bother anyone. Needless to say, they were posthumonously awarded the highest honors I could bestow upon them.
________________
Pardon the grammer.

 

[Scypemonk]

Ah yes, Empire.
Already pre-ordered it on steam, watching the counter inpatiently.

My most epic battle ever was a custom battle i made, entirely because i wanted the most epic battle imaginable. 8 AI controlled teams with only the strongest units at their disposal, to test which one was THE greatest epic unit aviable in Rome: Total war (my defenition of epic is all units with 2 hit points). All teams were filld with 5000 denarii worth of units, and send against each other on a nondescript, mostly featureless map.

The teams:

Senate - Arcani: On paper the most effective stealth unit in the game, able to hide anywhere on the map. Clad in the finest armor, and dual wielding gladiuses - yes, dual wielding - few enemies can withstand getting slaughtered by these fearsome troops.

Julii - Samnite gladiators: Warriorslaves trained to fight to th death in roman arenas. Armed with only a gladius, and wearing only a helmet, the must rely on their skill-at-arms to survive.

Brutii - Velite gladiators: Like Samnites exept they use spears and shields.

Scipii - Mirmillo gladiators: Like Samnites, exept with helmets and spears.

Thrace - Bastarnae: Wild babarian warriors, armed with curved swords, shields, and wearing a helmet. Somewhat weaker than their rivaling epic characters, balanced out by a larger regiment size. Also they have blue hair, and that counts for something right?

Spain - Bull Warriors: Though spanish warriors, named after their distinctive horned helmets. Only ranged units, since they are amred with 2 throwing spears, though they lack the martial skill of other units.

Greek cities - Spartan hoplites: Do i really need to explain this one? They are armed with phalangites and shields, wearing no armor, exept for a bronze skull cap.

Germania - Beserkers: Large germans, clad in bearskin, wielding some king of hammer/pick, bastard. Smallest regiment size of all units, balanced by their rage, that allows them to completely ignore moral(e) issues, as long as manage to kill something.


And this is the results i came up with, including rankings:

8th place - Arcani: While they might be handy against weaker units when controlled by a player, they may be good, but against Epic units, controlled by AI, the are pretty wothless. Got destroyed by a mixture off beserkers and Bastarnae within the first minute.

7th place - Bastarnae: Started out pretty well by sending the arcani fleeing, but for the most part they were slaughtered by allmost all other units, dying shortly after the arcani. Blue hair does nothing it seems.

6th place - Samnite gladiators: Actually did quite well, managing to kill of the remaining Velites, before demising in the hands of bull warriors. But spending most of the battle slowly crawling towards the enemy, while they kill each other isn't exactly epic, so they get placed only at 6th place.

5th place - Velite gladiators: Did okay, managing to severely damage the Mirmillo gladiators, but was sent fleeing by the spartans, and later destroyed by the samnites.

4th place - Mirmillo Gladiators: Did pretty well, sending the Velites fleing, and severely damaging the Spartans, before fleeing from them, seeing their demise in the hands og beserkers.

3rd place - Bull Warriors: Proof that ranged weapons indeed can be epic, managing to destroy the Samnites with a combination of javelins and melee. More than half-sized they charged the spartans, almost destroying a full regiment of them before fleeing of the map.

2nd place - Spartan Hoplites: 300 might not be historicly accurate, but Spartans kicked serious ass in this battle, sending both the Velites, Mirmillo, and Bull Warriors fleeing, thanks to their phalanx formation, that the AI apperently didn't consider walking around. While they did very well they were no match for the...

WINNER and 1st place - Beserkers: They broke the spartans phalanx, sending them fleiing with no casualties themselves, need i say more. Alright, the also destroyed the Arcani, Bastarnae, and Mirmillo, taking only 3 or 4 casualties. Needless to say, Beserkers excel against all other Epic units.


So germans browsing this thread, feel proud. As for greeks, especially spartans, tsk tsk...

 

[Doug]

Its great that Empire is out tomorrow, but not unlocked until 7pm And then there'll be a huge lag as everyone tries to download it (I got mine on Steam).

Anywho - greatest battles? I have a raft of victories against those foolish barbarian Gauls who don't seem to realise the futily of resistance.

Of course, their was the greater English kingdom of Ireland, Scotland, and France in medieval 2, who's archers rained death down onto the hordes of the "Holy" Roman Empire and those traitorous Spainards.

And in the original Shotgun, I was holding one of the little islands between two of the big ones - the enemy tried to rest it from my hands, only for wave after wave of their troops to fall to gun fire from the cliffs above them, along with arrows and samuri.

Good times, good times, Empire should be great now too - the demo was encouraging! Lets take on ole' Napolean and steal Spain from his fingers.

EDIT:
Ah, I'd forgotten about one of my epic fails. My legions, having crushed the Gauls and Spainards, had to match North at full pace to repel a thrust by my former allies, the Britons. I thought my crack troops would make short work of those barbarians and retake the territory lost to their surprise invasion. My battle line drew up, and I was sure of the sweet taste of victory. I'd never encountered the Briton's war chariots before. Zipping up and down my lines, they carved a bloody trail into my Hastati. The Principes slowed them, but suffered heavily even for that. Soon, my army was in flight, morale cracked by the sycthes of the Briton's chariots.

 

[Baby Tea]

I got a couple!

Way back in the days of Shogun: Total War (You know, the first one?) I managed to stop an army dead in it tracks at a bridge using 2 Sword Saints. Sword saints, for those who don't know, take forever to train, you get only 1 guy in the unit, not 30 or 40 or so, but they are crazy powerful. I had my army stationed behind them ready to help if they fell...but they didn't. The two stood on the bridge and slaughtered everyone who stepped foot on it (About 1200 men). It was freaking glorious.

Then, when Medieval: Total War came out (The 1st of the Medieval series), I had amassed such a mighty, elite army that I had several battles where The enemy would approach my line and then suddenly retreat from the field with all moral gone. Not a guy lost, not a guy killed, army routed. Awesome.

And once more in the 1st Medieval game, I was desperately trying to build an army to save my king who got stranded in some northern country. I had him, 2 units of archers, and 2 units of spearmen. I was able to hold off against an army of 2500 units by placing myself at the top of a steep hill. It took them forever to get to me (While my archers fired volley after volley) and then my spearmen and King unit finished them off. Brilliant.

I with I had a PC to run the new one! I love this series. Probably my favourite strategy series ever.

 

[Musicfreak]

Well there's been so many. One that just happened recently involving the Teutonic campaign had me trying to defend a village with clergymen archers and one unit of light cavalary against a massive army of Lithuianians. When the battle was over four of the light cavalry men were still alive, barely and they mangaged to route and capture something like 200 men. I would have given those men medals or promotions if i could have.