Entertaining drinking stories

[Dys]

Inspired from the "too beer" thread.
Got me thinking, am I the only one who seems to get into (seemingly) bizzare situations when heavily intoxicated?
Did a quick search and didn't see anything related, so I'll start off.
OK, several months ago I went for a holiday with a few mates to one of their farms, down near the beach (mornington penninsula for those keeping score).
As I have a car and license, I was one of the elected drivers, which pretty much gives me free range scabbing rights over everyone elses supplies.
One of my friends had bought a slab of hoegaarden to bring up, this is a really nice beer, and I was very happy about it.
To go along with that I thought I'd swing into some absinth (not the crappy 50/60% stuff either, I mean the real deal). We also had a slab of james squire, carlton draught, a few slabs of heineken and several bottles of vodka and assorted spirits. What could go wrong?

so, I think it was night too I cracked open my first hoegaarden, which was delicious. Between me and 2 friends we polished the slab of in a couple of hours, This left me comfortably drunk.
Me and another mate decided it was time to get into the james squire, and knocked a few of those back before someone remembered that the next day was rubbish day (this was maybe 10pm) and we had to take all our rubbish out.

Unfortuniatly by this point I was fairly drunk, and carrying rubbish was a struggle, but we still endured, but then it got worse...our bin was already full. We decided to compramise and find another house with their bin out so we could dump in it. We walked up and down the street (which when drunk doesn't seem nearly as long as it is) and eventually found a big gate with some bins behind it. Score!
One of my mates (the one who had been drinking squire with me before) decided he'd Volunteer to jump the fence and deposit our garbage. What we hadn't seen was the pit bulls in the yard. We'd also underestedmated how drunk this friend was. He managed to get nearish to the bins, ditch the rubbish and get back over the fence before the dogs did any serious damage (other than make a hell of a noise).

When we made it back to the house, we realised the guys that hadn't come with us had finished the rest of the beer, and we needed more drinks. And that expensive absinth was sitting there, taunting me.
The next patch gets very fuzzy very quickly as apparently absinth doesn't fuck around.
I remember the point when I stopped pouring it over ice and sugar and started drinking it straight, which in hindsight was probably a terrible terrible act of bad judgement.
Anyway, the next thing I know, I'm outside carrying a bail of hay, its now daylight and there are cows following me around.
I'm somewhat unsure of how I got to be here so I panic and start drunkenly lumbering forward, still with the hay. The cows following me also speed up, and start mooing and getting agitated. I'm not sure if anyone can relate to this, but, especially when drunk, 400 odd kilograms of prime beef is a VERY scary confrontation. So I did prehaps the most sensible thing I'd done all night (morning?) and ditched the hay in the middle of a paddock. This seemed to satisy the cows who chowed down, giving me a chance to stagger back to the house, get to bed and get some much needed sleep (I have no idea what time this was at).

The next day I found what was left of the absinth, maybe 1/4 the height if the bottle (which was a weird shape, kinda like a vase). As expected I was very sick the next day, and suffered from mild alcohol poisening (which made me through up until my nose bled :S)

Not sure how well I've put that to paper, but if anyone else has any stories I'd love to hear them (I probably have a few more, although nothing as long).

 

[gibboss28]

but absinthe neat is just lovely! (aint being sarcastic, i love my absinthe)

I've only got the one drinking story but i dunno if ya can class it as entertaining... i found it funny after and so did most of the people who heard about it

it goes like this and i better just say this. this was the first time i had ever been drunk.

I was in school one day and a friend says that because we've got a bunch of free lessons we might as well go back to his. so quite a few of us decided to head off and on the way we decide to stop off at the shop and get some drink. I get a couple of bottles of stella, another friend gets some vodka and some very horrible cider: Frosty Jacks.

We get back to my friends house and start drinking and a friend of mine decides to make some drink mixtures. In this mixture is:
Stella
Frosty Jacks
Vodka
White Wine
Black current
and finally... Milk.

so we're sitting there drinking, i finish a pint of this stuff and tasty as it may be it doesn't fuck around. A lot of my memory is a blur but i got informed of the rest of it. We all decided to go back into school, i passed out in the toilets for about an hour, a friend found me and forced me to drink water and move me to the library where i could sit and attempt to read a book.

This bit i remember though very vividly: I started to feel sick and then i was... all over a table in the library and over several books and then i was banned from ever entering the library again.

What did i have to show for this? one ***** of a hangover, one of my parents being slightly annoyed at me for what happend and another laughing at what'd happened & something like a £20 fine for the books.

..good times.

 

[Dys]

but absinthe neat is just lovely! (aint being sarcastic, i love my absinthe)

I've only got the one drinking story but i dunno if ya can class it as entertaining... i found it funny after and so did most of the people who heard about it

it goes like this and i better just say this. this was the first time i had ever been drunk.

I was in school one day and a friend says that because we've got a bunch of free lessons we might as well go back to his. so quite a few of us decided to head off and on the way we decide to stop off at the shop and get some drink. I get a couple of bottles of stella, another friend gets some vodka and some very horrible cider: Frosty Jacks.

We get back to my friends house and start drinking and a friend of mine decides to make some drink mixtures. In this mixture is:
Stella
Frosty Jacks
Vodka
White Wine
Black current
and finally... Milk.

so we're sitting there drinking, i finish a pint of this stuff and tasty as it may be it doesn't fuck around. A lot of my memory is a blur but i got informed of the rest of it. We all decided to go back into school, i passed out in the toilets for about an hour, a friend found me and forced me to drink water and move me to the library where i could sit and attempt to read a book.

This bit i remember though very vividly: I started to feel sick and then i was... all over a table in the library and over several books and then i was banned from ever entering the library again.

What did i have to show for this? one ***** of a hangover, one of my parents being slightly annoyed at me for what happend and another laughing at what'd happened & something like a £20 fine for the books.

..good times.

Lol, I'm likeing it
and yeah, I like my absinth too...only now I take it in moderation (/life lesson)

 

[Jaythulhu]

I once walked into a glass door at a poker game held during a sci fi con after boasting about how i'd whup everyone. Gotta love a free hotel minibar.

 

[Clairaudient]

Drinking stories tend to vary in quality. A lot of the time you'll hear "I was soooo drunk, isn't that FUNNY? I was all, drunk and falling down! It was hilarious, really. Ican't believe how drunk I was!" Because saying it was funny means it's comedy gold.

And then there is taunting cows, which makes for a more entertaining read.

For myself, it started with cheap rounds of house whiskey at a bar.

Shotgun 5 shots of the whiskey~ Feelin' Fine.

Shotgun 10 shots of the whiskey~ That was easy!

Call the waitress for 5 more shots~ Black out.

Wake up in bed with a taste of cigarettes in mouth and killer hangover~ Um, I don't smoke.

Turns out I ended making out with some chick (who smokes, which explains the earlier revelation) at the bar in the blackout. My friends say she wasn't bad looking so I guess it was alright, though they might be liars.

Will my heart ever find you again, random bar girl?

 

[milomalo]

once i made a beer bottles puppet show XD i believe that was the first time i drink something XD

 

[listerofsmeg]

My birthday of this year was co-celebrated with my good friend, whose birthday is two days behind mine. At this time I was renting a house with a bar in the basement. It was fully stocked : Whiskey, Vodka, Jager, Rum, and Sake to name a few. Plus beer (two 30 cases) and the amounts that the attendees brought with them.

First off, a local punk band stops by (friends of mine and my buddy's) and proceed to hook up their equipment in the basement. Not long after, my dad stops by. He starts doing shots with me. Once the bands begins to play, he complains about the loudness and later leaves (sidenote: this band knocked the house off its foundation...seriously). After this, my next door neighbor stops in. He was a State Trooper. We drank and he told me that the volume level was way above what it should be, but he couldn't hear it from his house so it was cool. He does a shot with the band.

By this point my buddy has drank most of the booze (the toll of working at a bar, I presume) and passed out. Now we had about 40 people in the house. While, true I wasn't drunk, it was my house and I had to keep eyes on the goings-on.

Later some frat boys show up and play beer-pong. Good thing the punk band had left, otherwise I'd have one hell of a mess to clean up (though the floor was maroon, so bloodstains wouldn't be as much of a *****). I move upstairs and drink for about an hour, talking to this dude who, like me, knew what in the hell Red Dwarf was. Which to me, says more about your character than a Nobel Peace Prize.

My buddy wakes up and staggers around for 20 minutes then passes out again.

I ended up passing out, room spinning and all, while playing Oblivion at around 6 AM. I woke up a few hours later and discovered that I had leveled up.

Best. Birthday. Ever.

 

[WolfMage]

Short but fun one.
Back when me and a mate of mine were 15, we'd "borrow" vodka from his future step-dad.
So one day we'd been borrowing, when we hear someone coming in, so, my brilliant friend, standing in the middle of this small kitchen on a chair, tries to backflip off of it, lands on his back hard, drops the vodka, and breaks the flimsy ass chair over his own head. Turns out the intruder was his sister, and, when she walked in and asked, in no unclear terms, "WTF?!" he smiled and simply said these two words I will never forget.

"CatNip"

We got off scott free.