Escape to the Movies: A Nightmare on Elm Street

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walsfeo

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Feb 17, 2010
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wadark said:
In conclusion, bad movies don't exist. There are simply movies that more people found unenjoyable.

Good movies don't exist, there are simply movies that less people found unenjoyable.
Bad movies exist, so do good movies, even if it's all on a relative and sliding scale.

Movies can be bad for a variety of reasons - poor cinematography, sound editing, script, acting, directing, and so-forth. A person's tolerance for suck defines their enjoyment, and enjoyment is very subjective.

Critics are people who think about movies not just let them be poured into their brain without any judgement. A good critic can help you get more out of a movie you decide to see, or keep you from wasting time and cash (which could really be considered just more time) on both stuff you wouldn't enjoy and generically substandard garbage as well.

So yeah, you can say "enjoyment is subjective and everyone has a right to enjoy what they want" and I'd have to agree with you; but it is easy to judge quality, even if it is quality on a temporary and relative basis.
 
Dec 16, 2009
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Dreolic said:
its times like this am glad I live in England, it means instead of having to see some crappy film this weekend I get to watch Ironman2........again :D
Damn you, i have to wait til Monday as everyones throwing bbq's this weekend. oh look, rain
 

stickmangrit

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May 30, 2008
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Elesar said:
Nicholas Cage, next movie, next movie...
Sorcerer's Apprentice?

And let's be honest with ourselves, Friday and Nightmare were never THAT good movies to begin with, Friday in particular. Original Amityville was a pretty good movie and I've never seen either the original or remake of the Hitcher, so no comment there. Still, I feel pretty secure in saying that NONE of them, least of all Friday, were ever anywhere near the quality level of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. So that remake is pretty much Platinum Dune's biggest crime.
Not sure if it was Michael Bay's though...Transformers 2 was rather exceptionally shitty.
came to elaborate on this a bit. whilst i sympathize with the hate for Platinum Dunes, and have fastidiously avoided the vast majority of their output, i must say that i in no way understand the hatred for the Friday the 13th reboot. whereas all the other films PD chose to re-make ranged from flawed but beloved cult films(Hitcher) to legitimate and influential classics of cinema in any genre(TCM, Nightmare), and the remakes are therefore reviled as squandered opportunities to tell a story in a fertile narrative environment. i get that, and again, i sympathize. but in what way was Friday the 13th not a Friday the 13th movie? yes, it's dumb as a bag of hammers, convoluted, formulaic, and it's only reason to exist is to provide us with splatter-soaked fun-house scares coupled with gratuitous nudity. JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER ENTRY IN THE FUCKING SERIES. Jason was always a poor man's Micheal Meyers, and the series(best remembered for Death by Corkscrew, Decapitation via Uppercut, and Debi Sue Voorhees' magnificent rack) was always the lowest form of shlock with a slightly higher budget than was customary. the remake wholeheartedly embraced this with plenty of nudity, quite possibly the biggest body count in the series, and tweaked the kill order and life expectancy just enough to keep things interesting without devolving into Scream-esque irony.

seriously folks, i am right there with you, torch and pitchfork in hand, to make these bastards pay for fucking up John Ryder, Freddy Kruger, Leatherface, and the Amityville House, but they nailed Jason.
 

Plurralbles

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Jan 12, 2010
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I would never wish that even upon my enemies!

Michael Bay should juststay the hell away from EVERYTHING.

But then again, perhaps Halo would actually work for Bay. Maybe it's his kind of plot.
 

BlueInkAlchemist

Ridiculously Awesome
Jun 4, 2008
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I agree - Michael Bay + Halo = happy Halo fanboys.

Go have fun.

Nice review, Bob, and thanks for saving Mr. Haley from the ire.
 

Aiddon_v1legacy

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Nov 19, 2009
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I think scientists should actually make a theory that implies anything by Michael Bay turns to crap as it's damn near a law of nature by now. The only decent movie he ever made was The Rock and that's probably because he was scared stiff of Sean Connery and Ed Harris stringing him up and using him as a pinata if he didn't allow them to act.
 

LostintheWick

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Sep 29, 2009
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Dyp100 said:
You seriously hate Halo. -Facepalm- I generally like ya stuff untill you bang on Halo every other episode.

But all in all, as good quality as ever.
I agree. Love Movie Bob. But the Halo comments?... Cheapening the review. And thanks to Ebert, haven't we learned that movie reviewers and video game reviewers shouldn't do the cross medium thing?
 

dalek sec

Leader of the Cult of Skaro
Jul 20, 2008
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Shoggoth2588 said:
I don't think Micheal Bay directing Halo: The Movie would be a bad idea. As was stated in the Revenge of the Fallen review, Bay seems to have an Army fetish and Halo is primarily about Space Marines VS Fanatical Alien Space Marines...and head-crabs who aren't head-crabs...
Yeah, I really think he'd have a field day running around with all that army stuff to play with for that movie. I might actually even see it and I'm not a fan of the Halo series at all. That's pretty much why I like his movies, pure shoot 'em up and tons of explosions and I'm honestly fine with that.
 

Vankraken

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Mar 30, 2010
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Sadly Bay would ruin even a Halo movie because in order to pull off a war movie you have to have a feeling of the scale of combat, the tenstion that you can die at any moment, and the struggle to survive. Bay.... likes to blow crap up, see big guns shooting stuff, having shinny looking toys, and cleavage. Bay is a 15 year old kid who has no buisness being involved in making movies.
On the topic of horror movie remakes...... Horror lately has gone away from the stuff that messes with your mind so that you scare yourself more than the movie actually tries to, and shifted to this telegraphed "This part is suppose to be suprising so be ready for the most obvious thing to happen next" crap. Remakes of older horror movies are worse because something familiar isn't very scary and when you stick with the original formula your just asking for crap. Plus whats with horror movie characters who aren't the villian. There usally the same high school character types who can't act, have the same tired back plot, and bring nothing interesting to the plate.
 

Drakmeire

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Jun 27, 2009
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it's not like Halo even has a good storyline (beside the anime)so Michael bay would be perfect for that, better than him murdering another series I love. MICHAEL BAY IF YOU SO MUCH AS TOUCH EVIL DEAD I WILL HAVE TO GO ALL BRUCE CAMPBELL ON YOU, BOOMSTICK AND ALL!!!!!!!!
 

Necromancer1991

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Apr 9, 2010
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Micheal Bay suffers from a Reverse-Midas' Touch meaning that anything he touches turns into a big steaming pile of dogs#!t. As far as a halo movie is concerned I would prefer if someone with something resembling directing skill actually be involved in the development, and I'd prefer if we went with another Spartan and left John-117's (Master Chief) continuity alone.
 

Igen

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Apr 28, 2009
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Thought the snoring in the intro was a little cliche, other then that great review, and Michael bay doing halo, nice dig as well as a good idea.
 

wadark

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Dec 22, 2007
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walsfeo said:
wadark said:
In conclusion, bad movies don't exist. There are simply movies that more people found unenjoyable.

Good movies don't exist, there are simply movies that less people found unenjoyable.
Bad movies exist, so do good movies, even if it's all on a relative and sliding scale.

Movies can be bad for a variety of reasons - poor cinematography, sound editing, script, acting, directing, and so-forth. A person's tolerance for suck defines their enjoyment, and enjoyment is very subjective.

Critics are people who think about movies not just let them be poured into their brain without any judgement. A good critic can help you get more out of a movie you decide to see, or keep you from wasting time and cash (which could really be considered just more time) on both stuff you wouldn't enjoy and generically substandard garbage as well.

So yeah, you can say "enjoyment is subjective and everyone has a right to enjoy what they want" and I'd have to agree with you; but it is easy to judge quality, even if it is quality on a temporary and relative basis.
What's so wrong with having movies "poured into your brain without judgement" as you say? I thought film was a medium intended for the audience to simply enjoy it. Why does it have to be judged? More specifically, why does it have to be publicly judged? Am I somehow "wrong" for watching movies without microanalyzing every nuance of the film or even really analyzing it at all?

The variety of reasons for a movie being bad that you listed, are, themselves, subjective. Cinematography is only defined as "poor" because there is a "definition" of what good cinematography is, and that definition was made by someone or a group of people who defined "good" by their own subjective position.

There was a fair bit of criticism for the Bourne movies and their use of 100% handheld cameras because it made the cameras "shaky". But I thought it added a degree of realism to the film and heightened the sense of urgency.

You say that its a person's tolerance for "suck" that defines their individual enjoyment, but who defines what "Suck" is? And how is that person's opinion of "suck" any more credible than mine? Because he went to film school, maybe? Movies are a creative medium, and as such, conventional standards shift with time. What was considered bad 50 years ago, may not be so today. Look at painting and the Renaissance; that represented a fundamentally large shift in the style of art, and subsequently shifted the ideas of what was considered good and bad. Film is even more in flux than that, so with the standards so constantly shifting, how can we really set a clear definition of what makes good directing/acting/scriptwriting/etc.?

Critics can help you avoid spending time and money, true. But you have to go into a review understanding that the reviewer might not have the same standards as you. I've never once let a reviewer keep me from seeing a movie. I read their opinion and take it to heart, but I won't let someone else's opinion keep me from something. Sure, I may be disappointed by the movie and I may find out that the reviewer and I share an opinion on the film, but I may also find the movie very enjoyable and find that I don't agree with the reviewer at all; such is the nature of film, and I would rather put up with 1000 movies that I don't like, than miss out on 1 movie I would have loved because some reviewer told me not to "waste my time and money". I think that anyone who decides not to see a movie because of a reviewer's comments is worse than someone who flocks to see the "generic substandard garbage" year after year.

I don't care if every single reviewer on the planet says that Iron Man 2 is terrible, I will be there at midnight on Thursday to see it and I will judge for myself.

Essentially what I'm saying is, you can judge a movie's quality based on the conventional standards of "good" and "bad". But those standards were, themselves, defined by a subjective source.
 

Loop Stricken

Covered in bees!
Jun 17, 2009
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My my, it's a good job I paid for the larger videos, or I'd not be able to make out Rorschach that guy at all.
 

BloodyThoughts

EPIC PIRATE DANCE PARTY!
Jan 4, 2010
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Once I heard Michael Bay I said "Fuck that!" and erased my memory of ever trying to give it the benefit of the doubt. Damn you Bay! You ruin Friday the 13th, it's on, you ruin Nightmare on Elms street, It's personal mother fucker! COME ON! Stop trying to fix things that weren't broke Mr. Bay! How about you try and fix things that are broke! Maybe say....Twilight? I can just imagine that.

Also, when I first heard Earle Haley was playing Freddy, I immediately said, "Yes! Finally someone that can be Freddy just as good as Robert Englund!" but of course, he is ruined by Michael Bay.

Im glad I passed up on this one.
 
Feb 13, 2008
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Next Nicholas Cage movie? What happens if it's Kickass 2?

And seriously, if you thought a remake of Nightmare would be any good, you're already dreaming...Mind the claw.