Escape to the Movies: Branded

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Tiamattt

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Jul 15, 2011
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You know Bob really hates it when you hear the leaks of his real accent coming out. :p
 

Robot Number V

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May 15, 2012
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This review is poorly timed for two reasons:

1. A lot of Bob's criticisms of this movie could VERY easily apply to "Sucker Punch",

and

2. We just had a thread about "fat acceptance" a while back, so now the conditions are pretty much perfect for a 2-week long Forum Shitstorm about whether or not it's OK to be fat. Incidentally, (and this is coming from a guy who is not exactly skinny, but used to be bigger) my take is that it is NOT OK to be fat. Not because fat people are ugly or whatever, but it's fucking unhealthy and health is important.

PS: Don't get me wrong, that movie sounds fucking awful. I mean, cow slaughter? What the fuck?
 

DugMachine

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Apr 5, 2010
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Hmm the movie doesn't sound interesting in the least but I gotta throw this out there. You couldn't be slightly biased against it being a bigger guy yourself, Bob?
 

hentropy

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Feb 25, 2012
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It is sort of interesting that western society seems to be caught between "you shouldn't feel bad about your weight" and "if you're fat you're probably gonna die like tomorrow." I mean, we have the First Lady telling kids directly it's bad to be fat and then we expect them as teenagers to not shop at Hot Topic and cut themselves when they start to get chubby and to have high self-esteem.

I think the movie might be saying more than meets the eye, Bob. Maybe you just didn't "get it". Maybe I should watch it and do a 2-part video series on why you're wrong.
 

esperandote

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Feb 25, 2009
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You made it sound midly interesting. If i was to watch a movie and i had to choose between a few midly interesting movies i might choose this one.
 

samahain

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Sep 23, 2010
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This review comes out of the blue... I had expectations for this movie.

Guess I'll see it, it sounds too peculiar to judge without knowing.
 

Sabrestar

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Apr 13, 2010
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Don't worry, Bob, you didn't make it sound interesting. You made it not make any damn sense. Which apparently isn't very hard. Sounds like a total trainwreck.
 

CWestfall

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Apr 16, 2009
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Don't get me wrong, from this review the movie sounds awful, but I do find it interesting when you consider it is a Russian movie about the evils of consumerism being poorly received in the Western world.

It somehow feels like we've come full circle.
 

Smertnik

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Apr 5, 2010
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LoathsomePete said:
Never even heard of this movie until now, but the videos Bob played throughout reminded me of another Russian movie, Nightwatch which sounded like a neat premise, but the execution was just a cavalcade of "how much acid do I need to take for this to start being good?" I definitely dislike it when people mishandle easy concepts like this, but considering how my town sucks so much we don't even get The Master, I doubt we'll be getting this any time soon.
Yeah, Nightwatch sucked pretty bad. The book series it's based on is awesome, though, although I don't know how well it's translated (or if at all).

I wonder if Russian movie making will ever be as good as in the USSR again. So many masterpieces were made back then but nowadays it's all about crappy CGI or mafia.
 

SquidVicious

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Apr 20, 2011
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Smertnik said:
LoathsomePete said:
Never even heard of this movie until now, but the videos Bob played throughout reminded me of another Russian movie, Nightwatch which sounded like a neat premise, but the execution was just a cavalcade of "how much acid do I need to take for this to start being good?" I definitely dislike it when people mishandle easy concepts like this, but considering how my town sucks so much we don't even get The Master, I doubt we'll be getting this any time soon.
Yeah, Nightwatch sucked pretty bad. The book series it's based on is awesome, though, although I don't know how well it's translated (or if at all).

I wonder if Russian movie making will ever be as good as in the USSR again. So many masterpieces were made back then but nowadays it's all about crappy CGI or mafia.
Definitely, I mean I'm sure there's modern day pieces that stand up to classics like Stalker and Solaris... those are really the only two classic Russian movies I can think of off the top of my head, and they're both directed by the same guy so please excuse me as I take myself and my wilting film buff penis aside.
 

RTR

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Mar 22, 2008
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I think it was at this year's Magfest where Linkara got a bunch of TGWTG producers to riff on Southland Tales. Wouldn't it be cool if they followed up on that by reviewing this movie?
 

Ashoten

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Aug 29, 2010
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Making fat people feel bad about being fat........WTF?

Fat storage is an important mechanism for survival and served our ancestors well throughout much of life's history. The simple fact that our post industrial world has made it possible for 2% of the population to make 100% of the food has had the unfortunate side effect of allowing people with a highly evolved fat storage system to become too fat is not their fault. It is not the companies fault for providing a service that people want. Does this mean everyone is absolved of guilt? NO! but it also means that the obese need compassion not shame.

I could also bring up how the government forced health regulations on fast food chains that required them to use hydrogenated fat for cooking, as well as there obsession with teaching everyone that tons of carbs are good for you. Carbohydrates metabolizes into sugar so unless your training for the Olympics or have a rigorous work out schedule there is no reason to load up on them all the time.
 

DugMachine

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Apr 5, 2010
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Ashoten said:
Making fat people feel bad about being fat........WTF?

Fat storage is an important mechanism for survival and served our ancestors well throughout much of life's history. The simple fact that our post industrial world has made it possible for 2% of the population to make 100% of the food has had the unfortunate side effect of allowing people with a highly evolved fat storage system to become too fat is not their fault. It is not the companies fault for providing a service that people want. Does this mean everyone is absolved of guilt? NO! but it also means that the obese need compassion not shame.

I could also bring up how the government forced health regulations on fast food chains that required them to use hydrogenated fat for cooking, as well as there obsession with teaching everyone that tons of carbs are good for you. Carbohydrates metabolizes into sugar so unless your training for the Olympics or have a rigorous work out schedule there is no reason to load up on them all the time.
How is shoveling food in your face not your own fault? I used to be pretty huge (almost 300 pounds) and had nobody to blame but myself. I ate as a coping mechanism for stress and depression but it just made me feel even shittier so guess what I did? ATE MORE. That's all my fault and I'm glad I realized it before it was too late.
 

jamesworkshop

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Sep 3, 2008
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Sounds like the plot for fat slags

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0382028/


I'm a bit puzzled by the FAM, fatness in a no longer quite thin enough to be fashionable is different from help I can't walk or leave my house anymore.
 

seiler88

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Feb 22, 2011
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Would it kill film makers to attend a few economics classes because I am sick of these kinds of plots. You do not make money like this!