Escape to the Movies: Godzilla - Breaking Kaiju

[Darknacht]

Now if you accept that he eats radiation it's simple to explain why he hadn't been doing much since 1954. They had been feeding him a steady diet of nukes from our underwater attempts at killing him. (revealed by the trailer so not a spoiler). Most of this movie is based off of a 15 year cover up of the MUTO, but how do you do that unless you have experience at covering up Godzilla for the last 50 years which the nuke "tests" were coverups for nuke attacks against him. All the Tsunamis, Earth Quakes, and Hurricanes are mostly Godzilla Cover-ups, or whatever you choose to believe. Since in 2014 they're using government coverup as a plot device you're left with not knowing what is true and isn't true about the past.

In the case of attacking the muto it's similar to the Wolf and the Coyote. The most Scientist have been able to figure out is that the Wolf will make a kill and the pack will feast. The pack will then leave the rest and start to move on. If the coyote comes anywhere near that dead abandoned feast and is spotted by the Wolves they will hunt it down, and brutally murder it. If the wolves were still feeding it would make sense, but the coyote's stay away as long as they see the wolves nearby, and it's only when the Wolves abandon the food that it becomes a problem since the coyotes then think it's safe to come in. They'll even leave the mutilated coyote out easy for any other coyote's to spot. Kinda like putting a head on a pike as a warning to any others that come by. It's weird irrational human like behavior. They'll then just go back to their normal patrol pattern. Godzilla just happens to be big enough to consider most of the Earth as his territory.

He knows were they're at because he hunts radiation like a shark, and they're eating stuff that he considers food he's not interested in eating at the moment if ever. Doesn't matter to him that he might not eat it right now like the Wolf pack that's abandoned a carcass and moved on to better things. It's his, it's in his territory, it's food that's his that he'll never eat, and if any other monster gets near it he'll hunt them down and murder them as an example. We're more like ants that are just in the way. Assuming that Godzilla is "helping" is classic human assumptions in a godzilla film. Best Godzilla ending ever is a little girls saying "He Loves Us" followed by him in the middle of the city starting to burn it down to the ground in a circle leaving nothing left. Not even the little girl saying "He Loves Us" survives.

My main problem is how does this conspiracy actually work. Size and scale are the usual weakness of any conspiracy, but if you're accepting the 1954 origin you're not left with much else to explain why the world at large is ignorant of giant monsters.

In this move the it seemed much more like the radiation originally woke him up and the US started Nuking him so he was active for a while when they stopped and he did not find any threats he just hung out in the bottom of the Pacific doing nothing for 60 years until he notices the MUTOs are active and since MUTO type creatures have killed a Godzilla type creature before he sees them as a threat and hunts them and kills them. Once he is done he takes a nap in the city and then lumbers back into the ocean.

 

[karamazovnew]

I've just seen this movie and I can't make up my mind about it. Either it's a MASTERPIECE, or it's the dumbest film you've seen in recent years. Case in point, there's one scene in which a soldier looks through binoculars and it takes him a while to actually see a monster which should've been perfectly visible on a sunny desert day with the naked eye because it basically filled most of the horizon. Nothing nothing nothing, wait a second TADAAA OMG!!!!! Is this a wink-wink-nudge-nudge tribute to the stupidity of the old classics, or is it the dumbest moment in Hollywood history? At one point I stopped counting these funny silly plot points. Seriously, if you can't spot them, uhmmm... I have bad news for your IQ. The question is, were these moments intentional (INCLUDING all of Bob's complaints) or is the movie just plain bad? The movie doesn't just take it's sweet damn time to deliver the goods, it literally spits in your face a few times by simply not showing entire cities being destroyed, because f__k you that's why. The "hero" is so silly that he can't even do the ONE THING he is supposed to do (he disarms bombs for a living!) because of a glass panel that he locked himself. Sometimes the plot just doesn't make any sense, for example, where would you place a nuclear bomb? Outside San Francisco in open water? Or in the middle of Oakland Bay just beyond that famous bridge full of tanks and school buses filled with children because f__k you that's why. Oh yes, the enemy has EMP but let's send our best fighters to fly around just for fun. In fact the only out of place moments in the sea of WTFs are the surreal Halo jump and the actual monster fights (I said FIGHTS, not simply Godzilla yelling a few times at the beginning). The Halo jump in particular (as seen in the trailer) is a piece of movie art that will make you puke rainbows. It's up there with the moments of 2001 from which it takes the music, it's that freakin good!!!! Would the movie have been better by sticking to that gritty surreal awesomeness? Maybe. The first version of Godzilla had more in common with Cloverfield's horror take. But would it really be a Godzilla movie without sharing some of the stupidity of the later Godzilla movies? Hmm....
All in all, I had an awesome time in the theater. Go see it, spot the hilarity of how radiation works or how a train can catch fire by being hit (but not derailed) thy the Airforce keeps sending planes against an EMP able foe. etc.etc.etc. and see if you can have fun.

 

[Darknacht]

All in all, I had an awesome time in the theater. Go see it, spot the hilarity of how radiation works or how a train can catch fire by being hit (but not derailed) thy the Airforce keeps sending planes against an EMP able foe. etc.etc.etc. and see if you can have fun.

They learn to deal with the EMP for some things, Clockwork Nuke.
In the end does it matter if all the hilariously dumb stuff was on purpose or not? Its still fun no matter the intent.

 

[AJey]

But there are waaaaaaaaay too many superhero movies, with even more to come.

 

[PunkRex]

I'm still seeing this, but god almighty, why pay for Brian Cranston and Ken Watanabe and then have them not be the center of the film?

I'm generally pissed about this. I thought 'well, even if they do focus on the humans like so many other monster movies, at least it's Ken Watanabe and that Breaking Bad dude', finding out that his freaking son is the main character is a massive kick to the hype-nads...

 

[DaViller]

I saw the movie just now.. and I loved it.

 

[BlumiereBleck]

I still think Bob hates white people. Also American Godzilla film has awesome effects would be the highlight of the film, who would have guessed.

 

[Plinglebob]

Wow Bob, that may be a fair review (not seen the film), but your aside in the middle makes you come of as even smugger then the other critics you're bitching about. Surely as a critic you should be celebrating the fact that there are discussions about pacing and suspense when Hollywood is suffering from a terrible case of premature ejaculation. The fact that this film seems to end up wasting the opportunity is beside the point. I'd much rather a film try and fail then go the boring simple route.

I think you're fair in this review, especially since you make the comparison to Jaws so we understand where you're coming from.

Also, I'm hearing a lot about this old-guard critics vs. geek critics a lot from you lately. Has this become an actual problem?

Only in Bob's mind basically he's getting more up himself and it's been especially prevelant in recent weeks. He's entitled to his opinion but I wish he'd review the damn film and not try to bear grudges on films or now other critics instead of giving his opinion. It's why I listen to Bob for 5 minutes every week and I listen to this man.

Spoiler

For 2 hours because whilst both have strong opinions which I don't always agree with the old school critic tries to review the damn film without any baggage.

Seriously Bob I want to listen about the film that stuff is good but I don't care that you disagree with other critics or you need to take another dig at Spider-Man (this years whipping boy it seams after Man of Steel, Green Lantern and oh I loose track).

I fully agree. While I accept that its impossible to be fully objective about a film, at least the "Old Guard" can argue their points and agree to disagree instead of the attitude of "I'm right, you're wrong". Dr Kermode (guy in the picture for those who don't know who he is) did a blog about this last week. (Available here [http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/markkermode/posts/Twittercism])

 

[Gerardo Vazquez]

This is a big dumb monster movie, the parts with the monster you have fun watching them wreck stuff and the parts with the people you have fun laughing a how dumb they are, how bad the movies fact checkers are, or just laughing a the WTF was the point of that scenes. And Godzilla is not fighting for the humans he barely even realizes that they exist he just kills to make sure he stays the top of the food chain. Bob just hates everything.

I don't understand what sense that's supposed to make. Yes, Godzilla is a big dumb action movie, but how does that in any way deflect Bob's criticisms? Bob doesn't dislike the movie, because it's big or dumb, but because the characters are generic and boring, yes "boring", something an action movie should never be. Apparently as long as there are fight scenes, and explosions in a movie, you aren't allowed to dislike it or criticize it in any way, or else you just "hate everything".

 

[Darknacht]

This is a big dumb monster movie, the parts with the monster you have fun watching them wreck stuff and the parts with the people you have fun laughing a how dumb they are, how bad the movies fact checkers are, or just laughing a the WTF was the point of that scenes. And Godzilla is not fighting for the humans he barely even realizes that they exist he just kills to make sure he stays the top of the food chain. Bob just hates everything.

I don't understand what sense that's supposed to make. Yes, Godzilla is a big dumb action movie, but how does that in any way deflect Bob's criticisms? Bob doesn't dislike the movie, because it's big or dumb, but because the characters are generic and boring, yes "boring", something an action movie should never be. Apparently as long as there are fight scenes, and explosions in a movie, you aren't allowed to dislike it or criticize it in any way, or else you just "hate everything".

He found them boring I found the so dumb they are funny, and the Bob hates everything comment was a joke. If you read all of my comment you would have seen that I mentioned far more that was enjoyable than the fight scenes. And the characters while archetypes are not portrayed how they typically are in big dumb action movies, at least not most American ones, the humans, particularly the military, come off basically as comic relief, tipping over their own feet, creating more problems than they ever solve, and and when told that radiation feed the monsters and they see the monsters eating nukes, they ask the expert if their blow it up with a nuke plan will work and the expert says 'no it will make them stronger' they somehow interpret that as 'yes nukes will stop them'.

 

[Draconalis]

Remember that nuke at the end?

I seriously don't know what they were thinking with the nuke...

 

[Plinglebob]

Edit: Whoops, wrong button

 

[Darknacht]

Remember that nuke at the end?
...
I seriously don't know what they were thinking with the nuke...

Remember when the military said that these nukes would work because they where way bigger that the ones used at Bikini Atoll? The ones used it those tests went up to 15 megatons.

 

[Draconalis]

Remember that nuke at the end?
...
I seriously don't know what they were thinking with the nuke...

Remember when the military said that these nukes would work because they where way bigger that the ones used at Bikini Atoll? The ones used it those tests went up to 15 megatons.

So... even more of San Fransisco and the west cost died?

I don't quite get your point.

 

[faefrost]

What? Do you think Batman should be like, some kinda..."ninja" or something, with a smaller, more mobile and lightweight costume that allows for speed, flexibility, maneuverability and cunning, as opposed to "I'm here to beat down everyone in the room" body armor? Pssh! Where ever would you get an idea like that.

No. But I don't think that armor should depict a naked man.

That's because it's not really armor.

That's all Affleck under there. Sort of like how more agile characters like Spider-man and Captain America don't run around in 100 lbs of kevlar.

OT: Who would imagine that the best part of a Godzilla film is Godzilla, and that when Godzilla isn't around we're all waiting for Godzilla to show back up again.

I'll give it this: no way can it be worse than the LAST Hollywood Godzilla film.

I've figured out how to make the last Hollywood Godzilla movie infinitely more watchable.
Step 1 stop thinking of it as a Godzilla movie
Step 2 start thinking of it as a remake of The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms.
It actually isn't half bad if you think of it that way. In fact looking at it, I am left with the feeling that it was originally intended to be a Beast movie, but they just grabbed the script and scrawled in Godzilla when the rights became available. Seriously go watch it and then watch Beast. They line up far better than it does with any even vague concept of Any Godzilla movie.

 

[truckspond]

Looks like I'll have to wait for the DVD so I can skip to the good part... Either that or just watch more Pacific Rim which goes straight into the good part from the first minute...

I really do hope that Pacific Rim 2 does not get bogged down with Forced Romantic/Family Interest (FRI/FFI) syndrome. It only works when the interest is not a deus ex machina plot device.

 

[Darknacht]

Remember that nuke at the end?
...
I seriously don't know what they were thinking with the nuke...

Remember when the military said that these nukes would work because they where way bigger that the ones used at Bikini Atoll? The ones used it those tests went up to 15 megatons.

So... even more of San Fransisco and the west cost died?

I don't quite get your point.

Thats the point, the military detonates a clockwork nuke that is one of the largest nuclear bombs they have ever blown up, if not the largest, for absolutely no reason and kills more people than the 3 Kaiju. Oh and that was only half the plan they wanted to blow up two of the warheads.

 

[Draconalis]

Thats the point, the military detonates a clockwork nuke that is one of the largest nuclear bombs they have ever blown up, if not the largest, for absolutely no reason and kills more people than the 3 Kaiju. Oh and that was only half the plan they wanted to blow up two of the warheads.

Ah, I thought you were somehow defending their stupid... stupid plan.

But it's okay! In magic movie world... no one dies from fallout!

 

[Darknacht]

Thats the point, the military detonates a clockwork nuke that is one of the largest nuclear bombs they have ever blown up, if not the largest, for absolutely no reason and kills more people than the 3 Kaiju. Oh and that was only half the plan they wanted to blow up two of the warheads.

Ah, I thought you were somehow defending their stupid... stupid plan.

But it's okay! In magic movie world... no one dies from fallout!

Maybe Godzilla eats all the radiation, after all the MUTO absorbed so much radiation in the beginning that there was not even background radiation.

 

[Cpt. Slow]

Bob, you've been spoiled with that other film you referenced. Sure, Brian Cranston was giving a good performance in the first part of the film and yes, Aaron Taylor-Johnson isn't good in this.

Spoiler

Also, seeing Gojira going at it with this (I assume) bat like version of the Mosura (Mothra) is awesome.
But there was a subtle balance. Although I did face palm every time they lost a nuke because that's like putting some taco's on a plate and yell 'dinner is ready' for those creatures. But the fight between the creatures is worth it, and I wanted more but then again they didn't want to go overboard because then it would be just straight up Pacific Rim 2.

So this film gets a 3 and a half out of 5 stars from me.