Escape to the Movies: Ninja Assassin

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data_not_found

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Nov 12, 2008
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Yeah, this video seems to be a bit pointless, since ninja assassin is pretty obviously just an over-budget version of an 80's ninja movie. We learned that from the trailer alone, and didn't need to be told-OMFG DOLLHOUSE REFERENCE! YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAH MOVIE BOB ROCKS!!!!!!!!
 

PrototypeC

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Apr 19, 2009
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This is about the time people lose their jobs. I mean, I know The Escapist likes to have dedicated individuals they can rely on week after week to get their job done and done well, and not have to worry about them getting it done, and MovieBob just let them down big time. Considering how little is unique about MovieBob in the first place, maybe he should be a little more careful lest he get a sour note in his e-mail inbox.

I mean, Yahtzee skirted the line once or twice, but his rants were never that far off-topic and he talks fast enough to have a full rant and not break the flow of the review. ENN and Unskippable don't have this problem, especially Unskippable since they don't even need to do any filming.
 

Slycne

Tank Ninja
Feb 19, 2006
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The Great JT said:
This may come off as a bit shallow (not the word I wanted, but close enough), but it's an action flick with ninjas in it. I'm sure there are ways to make it a smart movie, but again, it's just an action flick with ninjas. We go to see fights, explosions and ninjas. And in that regard, it doesn't disappoint. I'm sure it won't win any awards for story or anything, but will it fail to entertain us with ninjas trying to decapitate one another? No.
It's not always easy, but any film has a chance at being both smart and entertaining.
 

Canadamus Prime

Robot in Disguise
Jun 17, 2009
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No MovieBob, I believe you. A movie with a title like Ninja Assassin doesn't exactly scream "massively deep story telling."
 

snuffler

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Jun 4, 2008
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MovieBob said:
Something about liking ninjas, you'll like this movie
I totally agree, and I loved this movie. It was like, here is ninja movie with ninja movie plot type 1, and I went to see that movie to get ninja movie plot type 1, so yah, seriously, excellent review.

[Edit] I'm totally waiting for Pirate Assassin. And then Ninja Assassin vs Pirate Assassin. Cause that'd be badass.
 

CK76

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Sep 25, 2009
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The giving tree is not so much a story of how to be, but of how too often life is. It is not a moral story of "be like this", but one that says, "what do you think of that?". If you accept or reject the boy's selfish ways or accept or reject the tree's conditional happiness on self sacrifice. I never liked the boy as a child, but enjoyed the story.

Wait, this had something to do with Ninjas
 

gRiM_rEaPeRsco

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Jun 11, 2008
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This may sound retarded but i didnt really get the avatar thing at the start. would it have been nuts because its isnt out yet?
 

orangeapples

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Aug 1, 2009
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PxDn Ninja said:
orangeapples said:
lol, giving tree. Yeah, Ninja Assassin didn't look that interesting to me either. I love the 1 ninja vs an army of ninjas theory.

[edit]

and didn't ninjas deal in stealth assassinations? that makes the title redundant.
Nope, Ninja actually specialized in tactical espionage. Stealth assassination was just a small part of what Ninja actually did.
That's like saying a person is a police officer law enforcement. or Firefighter emergency worker.

It's still redundant.

Or corrupt politician.
 

Slimshad

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Sep 16, 2009
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Ugh, what a horrible movie. It's as stupid as it gets. Why did you review this movie, bob? This movie has been out for weeks! Also, I could explain what the giving tree was all about, but I know it would be falling on deaf ears.


Also, could you start reviewing more interesting movies? The last couple reviews themselves have been bland. You could at least review a bad movie, instead of an uninteresting one. I want to be informed if a good movie is good or a bad movie is bad. I'm disappointed in you.
 

Viruzzo

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Jun 10, 2009
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Lunar Shadow said:
As for the multiple ninja thing: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ConservationOfNinjutsu
I was going to post that, but you have done it first, so I guess I've been...

(not gonna say it)
 

Kuchinawa212

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Apr 23, 2009
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I like my ninjas any way, shape or form (see avatar)

Anyway -20 points for this 'review' Bob, It seems more or less like someone told you about the movie rather then you sit through it and watched it. What made it worth my hard earned bucks to go see it? Some...what? That it's like a B-movie? What made it horrible? That was sorta wrapped up in one or two sentences. You didn't expand on things like you normally do.
 

coldfrog

Can you feel around inside?
Dec 22, 2008
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I was always under the impression that The Giving Tree was actually a kind of bitter life parable in the style of old fairy tales. Shel Silverstein has admitted to not really wanting to write children's stuff anyway. If it seems a bit creepy and unpleasant it's because it is.

Also, I highly recommend reading Shel Silverstein's biography [http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Named-Shel-Times-Silverstein/dp/0312539312/ref=sr_1_21?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1259969606&sr=8-21] as it is quite an interesting read. I grew up with his poems and find his most well known work, like so many artists, is not what he cared the most about.
 

Arachon

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Jun 23, 2008
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Whilst MovieBob's reviews are by and large very well done, I can't help but feeling that we on the Escapist should get together and buy him a new mic, he sounds as if he's talking in a cookie jar, and sure, we all love cookies, but the jars are not good for acoustics. Also, what's up with the pixelation (sudden drop of image quality) in several frames along the clips? It makes the entire thing feels kind of low-quality, and sometimes makes it hard to see what's on the screen.
 

sunpop

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Oct 23, 2008
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Thought you could throw in a picture from ninja scroll and I wouldn't instantly know what it is there bob? :p

Yeah I really don't intend on paying full price to see this movie when I can wait for my brother to rent it and see it for free. If I'm gonna pay to see a movie it's gonna be ones with a damn good story, or just funny as all hell.
 

skylog

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Nov 9, 2009
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I think you're reading too much into The Giving Tree, Bob. Someone might have mentioned before me, but the Tree is female not to be a parallel to a girlfriend or wife bowing to the man, but to be a parallel to a mother putting up with a selfish child, yet always loving him.