Escape to the Movies: Splice

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Drakmeire

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Jun 27, 2009
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I saw this movie yesterday and I would like to list something
Note: had to be covered for spoilers
HUGE SPOILERS!!!!!!
at the end of the movie where and male Dren rapes Elsa (I said there would be spoilers) it qualifies as ALL of these
1.Incest
2.Pedophilia (Dren is still technically underage but it's debatable)
3.Bestiality
4.Rape (obviously)
5 Masturbation
And was I the only one who's soul died when Male Dren growled "INSIDE...YOU"? I pretty much yelled "KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!! NUKE IT FROM ORBIT!" in the theatre.
Amazing movie though.
 
May 5, 2010
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OK, I saw this movie a few hours after I saw this review....


First of all, "This year's District 9"? Fuck. No. Wait, let me clarify: Most of this movie is really good. I can even recommend it based on the merits of the first two acts. But the ending...

Just sucks.
First, Ilsa's boyfriend(forget his name) bangs Dren. There isn't really a buildup or reason for it. I mean, there is for Dren. She has plenty of reason to like him. But up until that point, the guy was thinking of her as a child. He didn't even think of her as a sexual being. That changes pretty goddamn quick. He knows it's morally wrong, and he even resists for about 10 seconds, but he does it anyway. Yeah, I know Dren has his girlfriend's DNA, but come on. Am I really supposed to believe that just because Dren sort of looks like his girlfriend, he's willing to ignore all the moral implications just to get some quick tail?(see what I did there?) So by that logic, it's OK for him to fuck anyone in Ilsa's immediate family, too. (In fact, Dren is basically Ilsa's daughter, so...yeah.) Everything we've seen about his character so far makes him out as a rational, moral person. This plot twist just doesn't make any goddamn sense, and trust me, it's all down-hill from there. It's just pointless shock and awe. You know, of the "Oh my god, my eyes!" variety.

Next, after some arguing,(oh, I forgot. Ilsa catches him in the act.) the two decide to go back to the farm where they're keeping Dren and kill her. They find her (apparently) already dead. They bury her. Their boss shows up. Suddenly Dren comes back as a dude. No really, Dren arbitrarily changes gender. Yeah, I know. It's because Ginger the Amazing Organic Blob did it too. Frankly, it didn't make any sense when Ginger did it, either. So anyway, Dren goes around killing everyone. Then he rapes Ilsa. Again, there is no fucking reason for it. Dren has no motivation to do this. The only reason it happens is so that A) Audiences will be shocked, and B) Ilsa can become pregnant with Dren2.0 or whatever. Which she does, in an absolutly shameless set up for a cheap sequel.

I find it interesting that MovieBob brings up this other movie, the Human Centipede, as the only other example of sci-fi horror, specifically stating that it was bad because it relied too much on the whole "Oh god my eyes!" factor, because Splice does the same thing pretty goddamn often. And again, I really liked the first two acts, when everyone is still getting along. And I know what you're going to say. "It's not supposed to be happy ending. You're supposed to feel sad that they didn't get along, and that everything turned to shit." Well, I would be able to buy that, but it doesn't change the fact that Dren has no motivation to rape Ilsa, and...fuck it, Ilsa's boyfriend has no motivation to bang Dren. Oh yeah, and of course Ilsa is so fucked up that she's going to keep the baby. Why? Because she's crazy, which happens to be a pretty convenient(read: cheap) form of motivation because it can be twisted to fit whatever the plot requires, and in this case that's a sequel/franchise.
 

Sammi Costello

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Mar 20, 2010
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sephiroth1991 said:
This film has completely gone under the radar here in england i have not seen even a poster on a phonebox of this film. Never heared of it, but i might check it out.
There doesn't even seem to be an offical UK release date yet, which I'm very upset about :(.
 

Jacked Assassin

Nothing On TV
Jun 4, 2010
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Archangel357 said:
I am just pointing out that proselytizing from an atheist pulpit is just as dickish as proselytizing from a religious one. Not all religious folk are Bible thumping nut-bags, especially outside of America, where the nut-bags would appear to have taken over the whole religion thing.
I think the biggest Bible Thumpers I've seen tend to be Atheists. They usually point out the most violent moments in The Bible. Even the sugar coated stuff like Noah's Ark which was a story of genocide.

Not only that but the history of violence inspired by The Bible such as the Dark/Middle Ages Crusades & Inquisitions, The killing of Jews during WW2, The Jonestown Massacre, The Events that helped lead to the sieges of Waco & Ruby Ridge which had also lead to The Oklahoma City Bombing, and the child molestation by Catholic Church all come to mind.

To say one is no better than the other is to throw the reasons of why someone would think that aside. Just because you may not want to really think about it. Cherry picking your Theism can only lead to questioning to why you would associate with that Theism. And if you didn't know, Atheists aren't an "ism". Just an agreement on the lack of proof of Gods.

But as far as Splice goes it was a movie about "Not Messing In God's Domain". Especially when you get to the end. The movie even at the near beginning emphasizes that.
 

obisean

May the Force Be With Me
Feb 3, 2009
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Aran said:
obisean said:
Aran said:
Do not put commercials I can't skip into my escapist clips or I will stop watching them. You have been warned.
They get paid to show those commercials, and the commercials are pretty essential to keeping the site running. How do you think they earn the money necessary to pay the guy doing the video? Kinda like how you get free TV, and have to sit through the ads. Even Youtube is doing forceful ads before videos now. If you don't want commercials, put up a $20 (I think it's $20) donation to the site, and you will view the entire site completely ad free among other perks.
Joke's on you. I don't watch TV. I buy boxed versions of the shows I'm interested in.
Keyword highlighted.
By buying the box set, you buy your way out of commercials. Just like how I bought my way out of them on this site.
 

samus17

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Jun 5, 2010
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Have to agree with Frozen Donkey Wheel2 on this one. The first 2 acts are good; however, they do not make up for the absolutely TERRIBLE third act. As stated earlier, you talked about the human centipede's "WHAT AM I LOOKING AT" factor being its only trait. Although Splice has more going for it than that, it falls back into what the human centipede did. Everything got thrown out the window; you know what I'm talking about.

Also one more thing:

Why does it HAVE to turn into a guy to rape her? Seriously. Would have made much more of an impact to have the female Dren rape the mom proving that it's bad or whatnot. But no, it HAS to turn into a male version, or pretty much, create a new monster just for the ending. They could have created much more thought by making the creature rape its mom, causing something ACTUALLY interesting to talk about, but no, we have to go with classic stereotypes of <Women jumps man's bones, he's at fault> <Man jumps girl's bones, man is raping her> So much for being a smart horror film or actually making you think huh?
 

VanillaBean

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Feb 3, 2010
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Dark Templar said:
I had no idea this movie even existed till now, is that bad?
nope cause i haven't seen alot of commercials or posters for it. Just adds and trailers on Rotten Tomatoes
 

Aran

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Sep 27, 2003
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obisean said:
Aran said:
obisean said:
Aran said:
Do not put commercials I can't skip into my escapist clips or I will stop watching them. You have been warned.
They get paid to show those commercials, and the commercials are pretty essential to keeping the site running. How do you think they earn the money necessary to pay the guy doing the video? Kinda like how you get free TV, and have to sit through the ads. Even Youtube is doing forceful ads before videos now. If you don't want commercials, put up a $20 (I think it's $20) donation to the site, and you will view the entire site completely ad free among other perks.
Joke's on you. I don't watch TV. I buy boxed versions of the shows I'm interested in.
Keyword highlighted.
By buying the box set, you buy your way out of commercials. Just like how I bought my way out of them on this site.
I'm flattered that you're all so keen to see me stay here. I would've thought none would notice one less dude watching clips.

But the thing is if you buy special accounts on the internet all you'll achieve is encouraging more sites to put up forced commercials and offer special accounts as a way out instead of sticking with the non intrusive banners. It's sending out the wrong message.
 

psivamp

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Jan 7, 2010
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I was convinced by the previews for this that it would be terrible, but this review convinced me and my girlfriend to see it.

And Splice is one of the best movies I've seen in a while.
 

Cheery Lunatic

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Aug 18, 2009
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Julianking93 said:
One thing that pissed me off though is seeing all the bullshit people have been writing/saying like "This will either be the biggest guilty pleasure of the year or be the biggest piece of shit of the the year"

How exactly? This movie looks fantastic from the trailer.
From the trailer, buddy.

The movie itself was pretty fucked up to say the least.
 

obisean

May the Force Be With Me
Feb 3, 2009
407
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0
Aran said:
obisean said:
Aran said:
obisean said:
Aran said:
Do not put commercials I can't skip into my escapist clips or I will stop watching them. You have been warned.
They get paid to show those commercials, and the commercials are pretty essential to keeping the site running. How do you think they earn the money necessary to pay the guy doing the video? Kinda like how you get free TV, and have to sit through the ads. Even Youtube is doing forceful ads before videos now. If you don't want commercials, put up a $20 (I think it's $20) donation to the site, and you will view the entire site completely ad free among other perks.
Joke's on you. I don't watch TV. I buy boxed versions of the shows I'm interested in.
Keyword highlighted.
By buying the box set, you buy your way out of commercials. Just like how I bought my way out of them on this site.
I'm flattered that you're all so keen to see me stay here. I would've thought none would notice one less dude watching clips.

But the thing is if you buy special accounts on the internet all you'll achieve is encouraging more sites to put up forced commercials and offer special accounts as a way out instead of sticking with the non intrusive banners. It's sending out the wrong message.
I don't really care what you do to be honest. Stay, don't stay, do as you will. I'm just pointing out the flaw in your logic behind commercials. I know you don't see it, because it is your logic and you formed it based on the factors you see, but the flaw is there. For example: I point out that free television uses commercials, and you say that you only buy box sets, and when I say I have bought the Escapist "box set" all you have to say is that I am encouraging commercials. Is you buying the box set of your fav TV show and skipping the mandatory commercials really all that different than me buying the Escapist membership and skipping their ads?
 

daxterx2005

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Dec 19, 2009
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I truly think Bay has a check list of all my childhood memories and one by one is ruining them with his shitty movies.....

All thats left is Mario and Power rangers now
 

diablomaki

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Jul 17, 2009
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i just saw this movie. it was pretty fuckin cool. when u brought up the fly and cube u had me interested. and it delivered intelligent, weird, and all the goodies u want from a film like this. it illicited emotions at odd times and i was like stop making me think or feel this

but yeah, good call, McMovie ZenBobinzee
 

MovieBob

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Dec 31, 2008
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dathwampeer said:
Remember things such as blood transfusion, stem cell research, abortions heck even basic understanding of human anatomy was considered to be (and still is in some cases) a taboo subject, or not for us to tamper with.
FWIW, what I think gets "forgotten" in the current debate over "genetic engineering" is that the only thing we're REALLY arguing over is the acceptable rate of speed at which it's done.

The fact is, we (humans) have been engineering genetics - i.e. taking the reins of the generational evolution of lifeforms rather that "letting nature take it's course" - very likely longer than we've been engineering ANYTHING. At some point in our distant, distant ancestry, some rough-hewn prehistoric shepherd got it in his head that if he made sure that the sheep (or whatever) who produced lots of wool did most of the breeding, he'd increase the likelihood of having MORE solid wool-producers in his flock. And so, for this person's sheep, it was no longer "survival (and procreation) of the fittest" but "survival of whatever the shepherd wants more of." That's genetic engineering.

However many hundreds of thousand of years ago, this individual who's name is lost to history said "No, Fluffy. Instead of mating with whatever sheep you wish like every other sheep in sheep history; you're going to mate with Puffy here, because two extra-wooly sheep parents probably means more extra-wooly sheep babies." This would've been a moment on-par with the decision to take command of FIRE. In that moment, we (humans) ripped the lightning from Zeus' hand and became manipulators of life itself. Every "domestic" breed of animal, to say nothing of COUNTLESS food-bearing plants, are the result of centuries upon centuries of genetic engineering of plant and animal life by humanity. We've even done it, for good or ill, to ourselves - whole civilizations have been "bred" out-of or into prominence by societies that made distinctions between "right" and "wrong" kinds of coupling.

What's called "genetic engineering" now would more accurately be called "faster genetic engineering" - i.e. manipulating organic evolution at the cellular stage rather than by carrying organisms to term and selective breeding. But the basic principal is essentially the same. Obviously, greater precision and care NEED to be enforced when working at such a basic level; but the idea that human beings "playing god" in the realm of life science is IMO absurd - "god" is the first thing we learned to play.
 

tomservo4prezident

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Mar 12, 2010
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Killers wasn't a third-rate Mr. and Mrs. Smith. It was a sixteenth-rate Grosse Pointe Blank.


And was unintentionally one of the bleakest films I've ever seen.
 

Lineoutt

Sock Hat
Jun 26, 2009
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SharPhoe said:
Aran said:
Do not put commercials I can't skip into my escapist clips or I will stop watching them. You have been warned.
That's entirely your decision, but you do realize that ad revenue is how the Escapist makes a lot of its money, right? 15-30 seconds isn't that much to ask, and you don't even have to actually watch/listen to it, just mute it or do something else in that time frame.
yeah or just pay 5 bucks
 

Lineoutt

Sock Hat
Jun 26, 2009
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daxterx2005 said:
I truly think Bay has a check list of all my childhood memories and one by one is ruining them with his shitty movies.....

All thats left is Mario and Power rangers now
lol racist rangers
 

agrajagthetesty

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Jan 29, 2010
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dathwampeer said:
how the deuce have i not even heard about this film. it looks fantastic.
there hasn't been so much as a trailer/poster/mention of it here in the UK.
wtf guys.

does any one know its uk release date?
Sorry if you've already found this out, but my Google-fu tells me August 6th. :)