Escape to the Movies: Splice

[Great North]

We shall not tamper in God's domain.

 

[skraeling]

Two of my friends saw it, whos tastes run pretty similar to mine. Both said this was utter shit.

Both the main characters are morons who constantly make the wrong choice. I refuse to see it on the basis of being an actual scientist and don't want to sit through another bastardization of what I do every... god ... damn... day.

When you are paid to NOTICE stuff... shes an utter failure as a scientist. Brightest stars my ass.

Movies like this tend to suck more often than not, way not to disappoint me splice!

Though I do like going to these kinds of movies for the sheer enjoyment of going "wrong, wrong... yep thats wrong too. No way in hell... wrong. Possibly, but wrong".

 

[OceanRunner]

lol great vid, can't wait.

But "Chubby Man Fall Down Go Boom" is funny. Hell, I laugh harder than anyone around me when I fall.

That was my fave bit, and the review was great as well of course.

 

[nerdsamwich]

I think the fact that Michael Bay is directing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie is scarier than Splice

I agree. This abomination must never come to pass! Michael Bay must, for the good of all turtlekind, perish! Semi-seriously, though, someone should stop him from ever making another film. Perhaps even resorting to violence if necessary.

 

[Bonino90]

This film has completely gone under the radar here in england i have not seen even a poster on a phonebox of this film. Never heared of it, but i might check it out.

Yeah same here in Norway,it looks pretty cool, pretty sure I will go and watch it.

 

[jelock]

But they had Dr Rodney Mckay. Did they even bother to ask him for help, he would have fixed it all in an instant.

Seriously, I didnt know anything about this apart from the poster, and seeing that had a face on it that looks a lot like Chuky I thought this would be a mindless horror, however it looks quite interesting although havent seen this advertised in the UK.

 

[[zonking great]]

Leave it to Bob to point of gems that would've been drowned in horrible movies otherwise. Thanks, Bob, for being here for me when I need a friend.

 

[keserak]

Two of my friends saw it, whos tastes run pretty similar to mine. Both said this was utter shit.

Aren't your friends scientists, and thus far more sensitive to moments of Art Major Biology than 99% of the population?

This is an idiotic statement. The professions of any of the trio described in the first quoted post have nothing to do with the disposition of the rest of the population. Either the second poster is extremely unaware of how people view science, or his or her emotional reaction to a shitty film has caused him or her to dissemble.

Full disclosure: I have a BS in biology and this movie is probably just about the best Hollywood's done so far.

So it's the latter. This quote tells us two things:

* The poster's BS in biology taught him or her little about, well, science.
* The poster has never seen a science fiction film that hasn't involved the Zuckerman Brothers.

So not only is one of Splice's enthusiasts stating things about this dreadful schlock that aren't true, we now have someone who's denigrated every science fiction film ever made. So Alien, Predator, The Thing, 2010, Blade Runner, and, hell, even realistic pieces like the Andromeda Strain and any near-future thriller -- they had less to offer humanity than a movie about biologically-impossible, thermodynamically-impossible fucktoy.

The characters made the wrong choices because they were reacting emotionally, not scientifically. Actual, focused scientific work is kind of complimented by not being hated on.

No, the characters made the wrong choices because they were amateurishly written. What must be made clear here isn't that the characters made the wrong choice, but that the characters made choices -- in deed and dialogue -- that made absolutely no sense whatsoever. They were obvious puppets of the writer. At no point do you understand why a decision is made. It's not that they're merely stupid -- they're comically impossible. They fail at science only because they fail at peoplehood.

Frankly, you'd have to be ridiculously immature not to notice the simple lack of humanity in the characters.

If you like the movie so much that you can sit through it and point out the flaws all day, why don't you marry it!

Um, yeah -- this is what I was talking about.

Btw, "god's domain" had fuck-all to do with this movie. It didn't have the philosophical sophistication of a snuff film -- it speaks about science in the same capacity that Monty Python and the Holy Grail speaks to women's issues in the Medieval Europe.

 

[SandroTheMaster]

Alright, now I have a movie to go see... but it haven't premiered here yet.

Lets see, if Hot Tub Time Machine is to premiere in at least a couple of weeks...

Then I'll only be able to see this movie in 2011?

ARGH!

On a side note, I thought the review was for a completely different movie I didn't care for (and thus, the late comment), but you must excuse me for my country translates movie titles really, really awkwardly. Hung Over was translated as "A Night Without Equal", Hot Tub Time Machine was translated as "Hung Over"...

 

[Dr. Danger]

So how many other people saw all the Freudian overtones?

Not as many as there should have been obviously.

People seem to forget that psychology is also a part of science.

 

[Wedlock49]

So how many other people saw all the Freudian overtones?

Not as many as there should have been obviously.

People seem to forget that psychology is also a part of science.

As much as I like psychology I wouldn't call it a real science, there's too many variable in the method for you to be able to judge it.

Sciences can help you get a better understanding of psychology however.

 

[lizards]

i just checked out the cube....all i can say is......holy shit

great movie

 

[Lusulpher]

Thought I'd bump this.

This is my first post on the escapist, though I've read it for some time. Felt the need to mention this.

Movie Bob's observations on this film weren't merely wrong or tasteless -- they were outright lies.

It's mind-boggling. It's like it was opposite day.

-The film's science was awful and would turn anyone off science. Bob said the science was good.

-The ending -- well, go look for a spoiler. Seriously -- do a net search and dig one up. It's pure shock value for its own sake. Warner Brothers cartoons have more internal logic and are less banal and vile. And worse -- it's not unpredictable. If you expect the movie to try to shock you, you expect the ending. And the middle, but I digress. Bob said the ending was good, and it wasn't.

-To say the characters were unrealistic would be a god-awful understatement. This is worse than fanfiction by pre-teens. There's like 6 characters and the writer couldn't manage that. Bob praised the characters and it was undeserved.

I get the feeling -- this is guesswork, btw -- that this movie pushed Bob's emotional buttons so he made up for its massive shortcomings by imagining a film that didn't exist. It's sort of what we do with action flicks; we know they're silly, but they're fun, so we don't put them up to a rigorous coherency standard. As long as there's narrative logic, or dream logic, there's logic enough.

But I think most of humanity's emotional buttons are set up like Bob's.

As such, this flick won't give most of its audience the high Bob got, so the rest of us will see only only its resemblance to a particularly noxious bowel movement.

I'm serious: spoil the ending for yourself.

From now on, when Bob gives a contentless review, we should assume the movie's a worst disaster than we could have even imagined.

Back to lurking.

Couldn't agree more.

Quoting for Truth. Now I want him to take back what he said about Book of Eli even more. He was clearly biased in that review.
Just like this one made him lose his mind and call this D-9. It's a remake of Species, that is all.

 

[Lusulpher]

So how many other people saw all the Freudian overtones?

Not as many as there should have been obviously.

People seem to forget that psychology is also a part of science.

It was a part of the science but every time they came to discuss, in depth, why you rationalize, or how...the plot would skip to Dren 'leveling up' again. Or something else having a gender change...
Seriously rent it, rewatch it, and see if you know anything about the main character's family experience beyond a few sentences. The absolute lightest treatment on characterization. And not in a good, minimalist way.

This was a mediocre movie.[ardent defender of Neon Genesis Evangelion Freudian ]- ]

 

[SelectivelyEvil13]

Thought I'd bump this.

This is my first post on the escapist, though I've read it for some time. Felt the need to mention this.

Movie Bob's observations on this film weren't merely wrong or tasteless -- they were outright lies.

It's mind-boggling. It's like it was opposite day.

-The film's science was awful and would turn anyone off science. Bob said the science was good.

-The ending -- well, go look for a spoiler. Seriously -- do a net search and dig one up. It's pure shock value for its own sake. Warner Brothers cartoons have more internal logic and are less banal and vile. And worse -- it's not unpredictable. If you expect the movie to try to shock you, you expect the ending. And the middle, but I digress. Bob said the ending was good, and it wasn't.

-To say the characters were unrealistic would be a god-awful understatement. This is worse than fanfiction by pre-teens. There's like 6 characters and the writer couldn't manage that. Bob praised the characters and it was undeserved.

I get the feeling -- this is guesswork, btw -- that this movie pushed Bob's emotional buttons so he made up for its massive shortcomings by imagining a film that didn't exist. It's sort of what we do with action flicks; we know they're silly, but they're fun, so we don't put them up to a rigorous coherency standard. As long as there's narrative logic, or dream logic, there's logic enough.

But I think most of humanity's emotional buttons are set up like Bob's.

As such, this flick won't give most of its audience the high Bob got, so the rest of us will see only only its resemblance to a particularly noxious bowel movement.

I'm serious: spoil the ending for yourself.

From now on, when Bob gives a contentless review, we should assume the movie's a worst disaster than we could have even imagined.

Back to lurking.

We just finished watching Splice (rental), and I agree with what you've said.

The movie actually had an interesting enough start that really began to escalate my interest, but by the middle-to-end, it fizzled out and digressed into nothing memorable for the right reasons like D-9. No, instead the only memory that will remain with me concerning Splice is the "shocking" element, which, as keserak noted, is something you see from a mile coming. A year from now, if you were to ask me about Splice, my best description would likely be "What. The. F---."

Due to its predictable outcome, the big scenes that were supposed to leave an impact did not come off as shocking, so much as "WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF! That is NASTY!!!" and just creepy. As we were watching the movie, I can quote myself as saying "She has a tail!!!!", and any who are familiar with the movie's plot points can probably guess where I said that.

The characterization was also notably sub-par as every other character is remarkably unlikable, which is hurt further by how few of them there are to begin with.

Spoiler: On the plus side concerning the characters

Out of only six people, four of the prats get killed in quick succession.

 

[kuolonen]

Well just saw this movie and boy, Freud would have blast watching this. What a mindfuck. I recommend it but not if youre in anyway squemish. This thing rips taboos open and shows them down a dungpile.
If this thing had been a blockbuster, many moralf's would be raging all over the place for this, in their desperate need of attention.