Escape to the Movies: Transformers: Dark of the Moon

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elcamino41383

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thelastgentleman said:
I actually liked the film...not in any form a classic but for a guys night out B movieish film I would recommend it. I love your reviews Bob, but if you could show love for piranhas 3d i think some understanding for Transformers is possible.
I'm not even gonna read the other 7 pages of posts, but I like this. I really really like what you said there, my friend. Piranha 3D was just balls stupid and he praised it. But he can't get beyond Transformers. Good show. Mario Cookie for you.
 

King Toasty

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I wish they made another movie, in about 10 years' time, with the War for Cybertron-style transformers. Those were damn cool.

Also, poor Bob. If Captain America sucks, he might just die. :c
 

dmcc85

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Feb 18, 2010
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where are the good movies?
it's been a long time since i 've been in a cinema.
because : there are a lot movies ... not worth watching.
so people watch movies about stuff that they already are fan of, and the movie-makers use that kind of behaviour by making movies about stuff that many people are fan of.

cicle of death and destruction ... of movies.

no ... "good movies"
 

SamElliot'sMustache

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Oct 5, 2009
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Did anybody else think that Bob's pairing of the image of the Pentagon with his statement about Bay humping it (dry or otherwise) brought on some unfortunate implications about the design of that building? I mean, it's the only military-related thing that doesn't look very phallic...

...Anyway, that's all I've got to add. Had no interest in the new Transformers other than to see if Bob's inevitable rant would be as good as the one regarding the last film (not quite, but still a bit fun).
 

SlothfulCobra

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Nov 18, 2009
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Wait, so are you saying Unicron DOESN'T show up in this one? DAMMIT BAY! THREE MOVIES AND WE GET A PLANET THAT EATS PLANETS! THAT WAS THE DEAL!

Also, you're tired of militarism, so a WW2 movie's gonna cure that? Are you that much of a fan of everyone's favorite war?
 

WanderingFool

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Wow, the only good thing I spoted in this video was The Captian America bit right at the end... You know, I thought the first movie was good, simply because I thought it would be total ass. Turns out Bay needed a second try to make an ass movie...
 

Snooder

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May 12, 2008
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You know, I finally figured out why MovieBob hates the Transformers movies. He hates America.

I kid, I kid.

But seriously, it's clear that MovieBob's main bone of contention with the movies isn't the lackluster plot (most B-grade summer blockbusters have a bad plot) or the acting (cmon, LeBeouf isn't even that bad) or the special effects (i happen to like the robot design personally). It's that he had a preconception of what a "Transformers" movie would be, and these aren't it for him. That's fine, but he needs to recognize that other people, people with perfectly good taste mind you, DIDN'T share his preconceptions. I'm perfectly ok with the Transformer's franchise being essentially about a teenage/young adult male with his cool robot pals hanging around the background.

Let's face it, we're talking about Transformers. It's not exactly the most monolithic, consistent, or ambitious of franchises. It is and always has been a vehicle to sell expensive action figures to little boys. Whether that means the plot revolves around robots that turn into cars with some human involvement, robots that turn into animals with literally no humans around, robots that turn into cars when a little girl kisses them, or the myriad variations thereof, that's all it has been. There is plenty of room in there for "Adolescent Male with girl troubles + robots that turn into cars + awesome GI Joes." And hey, as escapist action for the 18-31 year old male demo to watch and self-insert, it works pretty nicely. Big explosions, hot girls, manly bros. That's all Bay promises, and he delivers it all.

That said, Transformers 2 kinda sucked, but mostly because of the midly racist and generally unfunny stereotyping. If TF3 is on par with the first, then it'll be fun.

edit: I guess what I'm trying to say is this. There are three types of negative reviews.
1) "I don't like this movie because I like this type of movie and this is a poor example"
2) "I don't like this movie because I don't like the type of movie"
3) "I don't like this movie because I don't like this type of movie and it is a poor example of the type"

This review clearly falls in the #2 camp. Which is ok, but means that anyone who does enjoy the type may safely ignore his opinion because it is irrelevant and misleading. And no, it is not an example of #3. #3 would be a movie like "The Shooter" or anything else that WWE films puts out with John Cena. As in, not just macho bullshit, but poorly executed macho bullshit. Say what you will, Micheal Bay does not poorly execute.
 

Madara XIII

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Z of the Na said:
Fine Bob, that's your opinion. Your personal feelings toward Transformers only reinforce what you want in a Transformers movie. Dark of the Moon, clearly was not what you were looking for; nor any of the Transformers movies for that matter. I accept that.

Don't however, assume that everybody views movies as you do. Earlier this morning, I too, went and saw the new Transformers. After stepping out of the theater, you know what? I got what I paid for: a two and half hour session of robots, explosions, and beating the crap out of each other. Nothing more, nothing less. Optimus was badass, Sentinel was cool, and Megatron, well...

He died like a *****.

You keep expecting this grand retelling of the old Transformers movie from the 80's, when this is just the way thing are now. So you don't like it. Oh well. Others do and will, and the movie will go on to make an assload of money. Good on them, I say. The movie was exciting and held my attention as well as entertained me.

I couldn't ask any more of any film, the fact it was Transformers notwithstanding.

Megatron Died Like a *****?!?! Ha! He got Sub-Zero'd (Head ripped off with his spine in), but at least he died by another robot.

F*CKING STARSCREAM DIED LIKE A SUPER *****!!...killed by Sam :mad:
 

Liudeius

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Oct 5, 2010
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That guy's name is Shia Lebo?

Wow, I always registered him and the Spiderman guy as the same person. Yeah, I know they look way different, but I don't really pay attention to small time action actors.
Is he any good? His performance in Transformers is painful to watch, yet I don't know whether that is his fault for being a terrible actor, or someone else's fault for giving him terrible lines.

Captcha:
Why are you trying to make me do an integral? I don't even have a S-superscriptB-subscriptA key.
 

CliveStaples

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Sep 19, 2010
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Ugh, comic book nerds never enjoy anything based on their stuff, unless it's the most pandering stuff (X-men First Class). My God, they did Green Lantern differently than in a different visual medium! And differently than I would have!

And they highlighted different characters than I would have! And they didn't have Tom Bombadil!

My God! They made Transformers an action movie where robots fight each other and cool stuff happens! You know, like when you played with the ridiculously popular action figures when you were a kid.

Oh, you're mad that they didn't capture the drama and nuance of the cartoon series from the '80s? Maybe you should have skipped the popcorn and bought some realistic fucking expectations instead.

It was funny. It had action. It had a giant Transformer worm that tunneled through buildings.

For fuck's sake, watch Transformers 3 then watch any of the animated movies and tell me which entertained you more.

Protip: don't let irrational personal hatred of the people involved in the production detract from your enjoyment of the actual product.
 

CliveStaples

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Sep 19, 2010
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I think there's a lot of nostalgia clouding peoples' recollections of the actual series. Anyone who complains about the acting in the Michael Bay Transformers series should compare it to the voice acting from the versions they claim to love. Compare the animation/visualization.

If you're let down by Bay's failure to measure up to 'what could have been', you should probably have exactly the same opinion about the lower-grade, probably worse-acted source material that you apparently masturbate to while cutting out the eyes from photographs of Michael Bay.
 

RDubayoo

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Sep 11, 2008
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Do I detect another liberal being confused that a conservative actually supports freedom of speech in this video? I think I do!*

As for the movie... eh, think I'll wait for it to come out on Blue-Ray or something. I'm also tired of being expected to watch a bad movie just because it has a brand name and special effects.

* In regards to that petty little jab at Justice Scalia.
 

xdom125x

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Dec 14, 2010
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The first Transformers movie was okay. 5 or 6/10, not great, not aweful.
The second one was horrible. Somewher between 2 and -1. This film made me literally sick.
This one looks like it will be as decent as the first one, and I am okay with that.

It definitely won't be the greatest movie ever, but I will probably eventually see it. Not expecting a masterpiece.

Also, Bob is really holding against people that like these movies.
daxterx2005 said:
arc1991 said:
daxterx2005 said:
arc1991 said:
daxterx2005 said:
arc1991 said:
daxterx2005 said:
Best part about this film was the fact that this trilogy is over.
Wrong. http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/785702/transformers_4_definitely_happening_without_michael_bay.html

Hasbro confirmed there would be more back in Feb, However Michael Bay may not be directing it.
"trilogy" is three films broski

So no, you're incorrect. This trilogy is over.
Unless of course...you know...they continue it...

Which they will...because it's been confirmed.
In which case, it would be a NEW Trilogy.

You're either entirely missing the point, or are as stubborn as an Ox.

You're wrong.
*Cough* Saw *Cough*

There are many films that have more than 3 films, without them being classed as a trilogy, yes the Transformer films are a trilogy now, but as soon as a new one is made, it will be a Quadrilogy and so on. Why on earth would you think a new Trilogy would be made? When they can easily just carry this series of films on?
Saw was never intended to be a trilogy. Bayformers was always planned to be a trilogy. Bay is gone, the trilogy is over.
No, more movies are being put into the franchise, so the first three are not a trilogy. A trilogy is a franchise with only 3 installments. It makes no difference if the director changes. If it is in the same continuity as the other films, the first 3 films aren't a trilogy anymore (ie: the Indiana Jones franchise/ quadrilogy).
 

RDubayoo

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CliveStaples said:
I think there's a lot of nostalgia clouding peoples' recollections of the actual series. Anyone who complains about the acting in the Michael Bay Transformers series should compare it to the voice acting from the versions they claim to love. Compare the animation/visualization.
Thou doth protest too much. Okay, so the source material was a badly animated cartoon for children. Few problems with your argument, though.

1) It was about the titular characters, like you would freaking expect. Oh, and they had personalities.

2) You aren't bored to death at the beginning by the adventures of some schlub you don't give a damn about.

3) While violent, the original cartoon did not stray into other kinds of territory which is just inappropriate and out-of-place for something meant to feature a line of toys (any number of sex jokes in Bay's films).

4) And yes, the original Transformers: The Movie, for all its flaws, was better than Bay's films. I don't care if you think that's a ridiculous statement. Decades after its release, people still get nostalgic for TFTM. Twenty years from now people won't even remember Bayformers.

The issue, which you have missed entirely, is not that Bay's work doesn't compare to the original cartoon series, but that we could have gotten a vastly superior movie if it was helmed by somebody who loved this franchise rather than someone who had utter contempt for it and really wanted to be making something else.
 

Zing

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Maybe you shouldn't be a movie reviewer if you're so "tired"?

Stop complaining. It is not interesting to listen to.
 

Still Life

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Sep 22, 2010
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Zing said:
Maybe you shouldn't be a movie reviewer if you're so "tired"?

Stop complaining. It is not interesting to listen to.
He's proffered a better argument on the state of then industry than you have.
 

CliveStaples

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Sep 19, 2010
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RDubayoo said:
Thou doth protest too much. Okay, so the source material was a badly animated cartoon for children. Few problems with your argument, though.

1) It was about the titular characters, like you would freaking expect. Oh, and they had personalities.
Transformers wasn't about Transformers?

And you couldn't tell the difference between the Transformers' personalities? You couldn't distinguish Bumblebee from Optimus Prime, or the two little dudes?

Seems like you're mad that they didn't have a bigger stable of characters.

2) You aren't bored to death at the beginning by the adventures of some schlub you don't give a damn about.
You didn't like Sam? Or you didn't care, because you wanted to see Transformers! : The movie with only Transformers in it, because fuck adaptations.


3) While violent, the original cartoon did not stray into other kinds of territory which is just inappropriate and out-of-place for something meant to feature a line of toys (any number of sex jokes in Bay's films).
Oh, so the movie needs to be targeted exactly at your preferences, but not at your demographic?

4) And yes, the original Transformers: The Movie, for all its flaws, was better than Bay's films. I don't care if you think that's a ridiculous statement. Decades after its release, people still get nostalgic for TFTM. Twenty years from now people won't even remember Bayformers.
Yes, that's a ridiculous statement. Transparently so.

People are still nostalgic for TFTM because they saw it 20 years ago without applying the same critical apparatus. My point is that if you would have seen it using the critical apparatus you're using against Bay, you'd have fucking hated the original too.

The issue, which you have missed entirely, is not that Bay's work doesn't compare to the original cartoon series, but that we could have gotten a vastly superior movie if it was helmed by somebody who loved this franchise rather than someone who had utter contempt for it and really wanted to be making something else.
True, but you could level the same 'measuring up to potential' argument against the original. "Imagine how much better this could have been!" is not a persuasive argument that the product isn't enjoyable. "It could have been more enjoyable than it is" may be true, but it doesn't show where you are on the entertainment spectrum.
 

Supercathead

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Jan 11, 2009
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I don't know if anyone else has pointed this out yet, but I'll be stuffed if I'm going to read all these comments here. I just wanted to point out that I love the irony of being forced to watch a trailer designed to make you watch this movie, followed by a review explaining to you why it is absolutely terrible.
 

Z of the Na'vi

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Apr 27, 2009
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Madara XIII said:
Megatron Died Like a *****?!?! Ha! He got Sub-Zero'd (Head ripped off with his spine in), but at least he died by another robot.

F*CKING STARSCREAM DIED LIKE A SUPER *****!!...killed by Sam :mad:
I was referring to the fact that he did practically nothing the entire movie, then when Sam's new squeeze came to remind the Decepticon leader just who he was, all of a sudden he leaps into action?

Only to be taken down with ease by Optimus? Who at this point had lost one of his arms?

I just thought that was rather weak. Like, pitiful for the status Megatron carried.
 

Anchupom

In it for the Pub Club cookies
Apr 15, 2009
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commasplice said:
Oro44 said:
Instant flame war: Add one MovieBob. Mix with a healthy dose about a video game or movie "pandering to the base". Add an off-hand comment about Bioware, EA or CoD for flavor. Mix well and let stand for less than five minutes.
Mind if I use that recipe? I'm making troll cakes.
Anchupom said:
He's "that douche from Even Stevens". Always has been, and always will be.
This is the exact problem I have with him. I mean, I really liked Even Stevens when I was younger, but I have never been able to see Shia LaBeouf as anyone other than Louis Stevens. Not in Holes, not in Disturbia, not in Transformers and sure as SHIT not in Indiana Jones. In fact, that was my problem with all of those movies. Except Holes. It's just really, really hard for me to take him seriously.
Holes is the one exception for me too, but that's maybe because I read the book and gave a fuck about the character.


Actually, Holes is a really good book/film adaptation. I want to watch that again now...