Escape to the Movies: Transformers: Dark of the Moon

[VanillaBean]

I considered Nimoy's contribution to be a plus for the movie, kinda like how taking Megan Fox out of the series is a plus.

 

[kuroikitsune]

As of July 3rd
Current box office totals for Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Domestic: 162 million
Foreign: 210 million
Total: 372 million

SIGH...

Guess what this means? Transformers 4 coming in 2013. Get ready!

I'm going to sob in the corner of the projectionist's booth.

 

[Aiddon_v1legacy]

Is it just me or did Bob turn into the "Yahtzee reviewer" of movies? Instead of telling us what not to watch, why not review a good movie for a change?

Because this entire YEAR has sucked for movies so far. No joke, it's been a DISASTER for films with not just the summer season being really, really mediocre. It is the reverse 1982; there is ton of product out, but most of it is just mediocre to really, really bad. I am curious as to what the Oscars are gonna look like.

 

[tzimize]

As a person who loved the first movie and liked the second movie (despite some flaws)...I absolutely HATED this movie. I cant remember the last time I was in a movie theatre and wished the movie was over after the first 15 or so minutes...and it only got worse. What a fucking trainwreck.

 

[ZeroMachine]

Despite (or perhaps even because of) the flaws with "Dark of the Moon," I still enjoy it and the live-action TF franchise.

Michael Bay's interpretation of things is by no means the worst thing to ever happen to Transformers.

You're right. The worst thing that's happened to the Transformers is that people are paying to see it.

Well then maybe you can relate to people who don't appreciate when others imply that they are incapable of voting because they like a certain type of movie.

You are, in fact, a snob.

Actually it was more along the lines of implying that you 'shouldn't' be voting. Just a bit of clarification.

Wait, he didn't like it?

One thing I do however agree with. Too much military. The movie would have been twice as entertaining had they dropped the majority of the military scenes and had more robo carnage.

Why stop there? How about we take out all the humans everywhere and just let the robots star in their own movie?

Ah, I was waiting for that.

"If you like this movie, you're a retarded retard who's retarded."

And yet you don't deny it...

I liked them. What exactly is wrong with these movies? I fail to understand why it is terrible.

Maybe you should try listening to his review again. And this time, make sure your volume is on and your eyes are open.

Although I'm not doubting how shitty this movie is, I said it before and I'll say it again:

STOP INSULTING THE AUDIENCE THAT LIKES IT.

It isn't funny. It isn't witty. It isn't some great statement on how "the people are at fault for bad movies". It does nothing but make you look like a dick.

Rip the movie to shreds. Call it every insult in the book. But STOP insulting those that do like it. Personal taste in movies does not have a direct correlation with intelligence.

Sure it does. Just look at the Twilight series.

Bob's nº1 rule: "You can make a good movie out of anything"
Bob's nº2 rule: "Whenever I review a film I don't like I have to blatantly insult whoever may like it at least once"

Fanboy Rule #1: Whenever I feel that an internet critic has insulted me, I must then go @#$%@ about it in the comments.

What the fuck? Did you really take your time to just call out all of us like that? What the hell is your problem? Are you really that bored?

I mean, holy shit, dude. Seriously. Learn a little civility.

 

[LT Cannibal 68]

any shred of respect i had for bob is officially gone i have recently gone to the cinema to watch this movie with this excuse for a reviewers venom ringing in my head and most if not all of his points IN MY OPINION were not correct. after also watching his tf2 review he complains that the film focuses on shia and Megan's relationship and i actually agreed on that point, but when they focused on the actual autobots fighting in this one he also finds some threadbare reason to complain again!

another one of his reviews i don't remember which he referenced the fact that this film was coming out and that he would be "forced" to review it see after seeing this any actual valid points and he could've made are rendered moot because of his complete and utter bias against this move, franchise and director in general.

So in essence no matter if this film would've bent backwards for him and everyone that complains that this franchise is not 100 percent faithful to the source material it still would've fallen short.

if bob actually wants to be regarded as an actual reviewer he has to be unbiased against the films he intends to review for example i don't know if you notice but every summer action flick that he reviews is in his opinion garbage the only films he finds to actually be enjoyable are nerd and geek demographic tributes such as Scott pilgrim and such. A true reviewer does not compare a movie to another but rather analyzes the movie as a standalone product not a "well it's better than the second one" sort of mentality that most reviewers tend to have in this day and age.

you used to set yourself apart bob you would actually break down the movies you reviewed and actually review them fairly not just pan them because the movies that have come before are bad and utterly saying that the next installment will also be bad because they belong to the same franchise. at this point he sounds more like Yahtzee than an actual reviewer.


TLDR version: stop being biased against action movies and give them fair reviews like you would other genres of movies you used to be professional wtf happened?


EDIT: and the whole insulting the audience makes you come off as the biggest most snob prick on the fucking planet WTF happened to you, have you been watching too many of Yahtzee and angry joes reviews? you either need to get on the fucking ball or find another profession because frankly it's getting to the point that i think you are running out of things to say.

 

[Necrofudge]

I can't wait until the fourth installment of Shia Labeouf and the space robots. I bet it will be as good as the first three.

 

[ChildofGallifrey]

Don't worry Bob, Del Toro's Pacific Rim will ease the pain.

 

[el_kabong]

I would love to say that I'm not going to see this show based on what this review has said...but it isn't true. I usually find myself agreeing with what Movie Bob has said and will probably have a terrible time at this movie.

However, I've come to realize that, without actually seeing it, I can't personally weigh in on its terribleness. Therefore, if I didn't see it, I couldn't convince other people not to see it because I wouldn't be able to discuss it intelligently. I'm all for expanding good movie knowledge amongst the general populous. When studying this sort of knowledge, seeing what not to do in a movie is almost as vital as showing what's good about a movie.

I'll just try to see it as cheaply as possible (without resorting to theft or piracy, of course).

 

[spielberg11]

Sigh. I already feel like an old man. I mean, many of my peers at my high school want to see this film and the Godawful Fast and Furious 5.

...why?

They're idiots, one time I recommended Lord of the Rings to a friend and he said no because 'There weren't enough explosions in it'.

...only a few more years to graduation, you can do this...

 

[PrinceofPersia]

I like Transformers. AND YES. EVEN THE BAYSPLOSIONS. And I like Shia, too.

WHY SHOULD I NOT VOTE AND DRIVE BOB?

I really enjoyed the movie. The last hour was completely epic and everything I wanted the first 2 to be.

I feel like people are being a little too cynical now, we all wanted all out robot war and that's what we got this time.

Just relax your minds, untie your knicker-knots and enjoy the movie for what it is - big explosive fun.

Okay but why do I have to sit through hours of crappy drama to do so? And why should I care about these characters if they seem one or two dimensional bland caricatures? Bob said it best in his District 9 review: "Action scenes get better when people you care about are in the fight and you understand why they are fighting."

Nuff said.

 

[Ziggy the wolf]

okay this is the second movie i will argue against with bob but it was worse then the man stated. oh my god it was 20 minutes humans 5 minutes robots then 30 minutes humans 2 minutes robots. i don't mind the look that much of them as long as they are doing something that overshadows the humans who should be in all honesty the b or C story not the other way around my transformers loving 9 year old brother didnt like the movie and he loves the micheal bay transformer films. this one was too fucking long and way too focused on sam's personal life and then trying to claim HE was a hero! not the heroic robots who defended the race of stupid creatures that feared them and wanted them to go away from a race of murderous machines! oh sweet baby jesus it was terrible and it always has been. fuck shia and fuck bay they both suck and i know megan fox was happy not to be in this one. the new girl was far worse and should of been squashed by megatron when she called him out. oh my god and there are SO MANY FUCKING PARTS that need to be edited out of the fucking film like the starscream/shia scene and i saw one noticable jump cut in the film, look for it. the ending is too long and ends with another short pointless final battle i swear it takes about 5 minutes for optimus to kill megatron FOR THE 2ND FUCKING TIME after running off like a pussy in the piss poor ending of the second and then shoots nemoy's Sentiel prime in the head twice.
DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE!

 

[Withard]

I felt pretty empty leaving the cinema after watching this

Thats not how I should feel

I think its because I know I gave blood to the beast.

 

[Nincompoop]

... and now I have become tired of your reviews. I get your point sometimes, but you are a fucking retard... You have no fucking right to call movies with this budget and hard work crap. I would like to see you say that to the faces of the people who worked tirelessly on that project. Fuck you. And fuck you again.

I'm done watching this fucking show.

I really didn't want to reply to your post. I don't think there is anything constructive that I could say that would change or inform your opinion on the subject. Besides, does using fuck 5 times in 7 sentences really help your argument?

However, I would like to discuss your idea that spending more money equals a better film. There are numerous examples of big budget films that are absolutely terrible. Heaven's Gate, Waterworld, Howard the Duck, Battlefield Earth, North, Soldier, and I could keep going. A film studio can spend a LOT of money and produce a terrible film. Here's the kicker! They can make a terrible film and then realize it's a terrible film, but they have to release it anyway to make back some of the money spent on it. And everyone involved knows that through some combination of mistakes, the finished film is horrible. Bad editing, poor choice in actors, bad performances, poor CGI or special effects, bad script, bad choice in directors, bad script rewrite to appease the director or star, cost overruns on special effects, etc. A lot of times the finished product is less than the sum of its parts.

And you wind up with a film that is just awful but maybe the special effects are good or one actor had an awesome perfomance, or there was one line of dialogue that was awesome. No one is saying that the people who made Transformers are terrible at their individual jobs.

Michael Bay has made some decent action films like The Rock. The special effects in Transformers and the 3D are reportedly VERY good. However, the sum total of all this is a mediocre film from a director that admits he doesn't like the source material.

Even the best directors in the world make bad films. Look at Steven Spielberg who made some of the great classics of 1980s and defined the childhoods of many of us. He also made 1941 which was awful. Francis Ford Coppola who made both Apocalypse Now and The Godfather killed his career with one terrible film, One From the Heart.

You can spend a fortune on a film and it can be terrible. It's like anything else. Sometimes hard work and effort just don't pay off.

Of course, I've now expended all this effort replying to your 7 sentences and I won't have accomplished my goal either. See...happens to us all.

I wasn't suggesting more money equals better result. What I am saying is that I can't fucking stand that a person like Movie Bob sits in his comfy chair trashing on this movie that people have spent a lot of time and effort on. I am not talking about the major roles like directors or actors, but everyone else who contributed. How the fuck do you think this makes them feel? It's one thing to criticize, but this blatant lack of respect for such a huge project that involves a lot of passionate people is something I can't stomach. I'd really want him to say all of this infront of someone who has spent the years it took to make this movie and probably worked hard and had an amazing experience.

Reviewers seem to have a total lack of respect for the effort put into the project.

 

[Nincompoop]

... and now I have become tired of your reviews. I get your point sometimes, but you are a fucking retard... You have no fucking right to call movies with this budget and hard work crap. I would like to see you say that to the faces of the people who worked tirelessly on that project. Fuck you. And fuck you again.

I'm done watching this fucking show.

One more small note:
Joel Schumacher famously spent a good portion of the directory commentary for Batman & Robin apologizing for how bad the film is.

Not the point. The blatant lack of respect Movie Bob has for the major effort put into a project like that is sickening. I am not just talking about the major roles like the actors and directors, but everyone who contributed. I'd like him to say what he said in this video infront of someone who spent the years it took to make this movie happen and probably worked really hard.

There is a clear difference between criticizing and just fucking trashing on something.

 

[Withard]

LOL! You REALLY do live up to your name on here Nincompoop.

And YES MovieBob DOES have the right to say its absolute shite even behind the scenes! If we all applied your method reviews would be absolute pointless and the quality of films would decrease.

"Film was...uh....not very good but well done to everyone who worked on it, hey you big guy on special effects, you did your best and im impressed"

Sorry but please go back to Cybertron...."bot".


p.s Look at the effort behind the scenes on the Star Wars prequels. Its absolutely appalling. Or maybe look at how people made Duke Nukem Forever. They are putting a product out for people to SPEND money on it ffs! If its NOT up to scratch then for the money I spent on it I will DAMN WELL TELL THEM if it sucks in any way that I found it to suck!

"Hey boss your Special Effects were shit!!"

"How dare you! I spent 30million on the design of the robots"

"Oh im sorry I didnt mean it...you did put effort into it."

sorry Nincompoop but your argument is completely invalid.

 

[RDubayoo]

Oh. My. God. The Snob and Spoony collaborate on ripping this movie a new one. AWESOME.

http://spoonyexperiment.com/2011/07/03/spoony-and-brad-uncensored-on-transformers-3/

HA! So not only am I not the only one who thinks that the original animated Transformers movie was better than Bay's movies, but Spoony and the Cinema Snob agree with me! Suck on that, Bayformers lovers!

 

[Withard]

P.S. Whats wrong with Bay's love of the military. Theres so many directors and hollywood folks that love to hate us and think that we are hired thugs (see most James Cameron films)
thats its kinda nice to see someone in hollywood who thinks we are something thats fun to make look good.

Actually, I think that James Cameron has gotten a bad rap for his depiction of military personnel in his films.

In Aliens, the Colonial Space Marines were pretty much the heroes of the movie. Especially Hicks played by Michael Biehn. Scared, out of their element, but in the end they succeed in defeating the alien threat. And nuking them from orbit


I really don't want to discuss Pearl Harbor because it lacks Bay's fetishitic approach to the modern military. However, it is the exception to Bay's fetishitic approach to the military. He has actual characters in this, but that was unavoidable because it's a dramatic love story.

So while Bay may generally show the military in a positive light, there are exceptions to that (The Rock), and the military in Bay's contemporary films are just a vehicle for producing explosions and action set pieces. He's not interested in the people, he just wants to make it look "cool". On the other hand, James Cameron has taken a fairly neutral appraoch to the military in his films. At least a balanced approach if you weigh the films based on who the villian is out of context.

Sorry Valkyr but your incorrect on the "Aliens" Military bit (Im too lazy to respond to the rest).

"Cameron drew inspiration for the Aliens story from the Vietnam War, a situation in which a technologically superior force was mired in a hostile foreign environment: "Their training and technology are inappropriate for the specifics, and that can be seen as analogous to the inability of superior American firepower to conquer the unseen enemy in Vietnam: a lot of firepower and very little wisdom, and it didn't work." In the story of Aliens the Colonial Marines are hired to protect the business interests of the Weyland-Yutani Corporation, corresponding to the belief that corporate interests were the reason that American troops were sent to South Vietnam. The attitude of the Marines was influenced by the Vietnam War; they are portrayed as cocky and confident of their inevitable victory, but when they find themselves facing a less technologically advanced but more determined enemy, the outcome is not what they expect."

?Aliens? can be read as Cameron?s ham-fisted criticism of American military conduct in the Vietnam War, in which nearly two million US soldiers were thrown into a conflict a lot of them didn?t understand and many thousands died needlessly, being picked off by the enemy Viet Cong who knew the territory well (it was their home after all). In like manner, a group of marines armed with sophisticated weaponry charge into colonial territory established on an alien planet to protect the colonists and hunt down and destroy an enemy, only to be hit back hard by a determined and intelligent though technologically primitive monster species that has made the planet its home."

 

[Withard]

Oh. My. God. The Snob and Spoony collaborate on ripping this movie a new one. AWESOME.

http://spoonyexperiment.com/2011/07/03/spoony-and-brad-uncensored-on-transformers-3/

HA! So not only am I not the only one who thinks that the original animated Transformers movie was better than Bay's movies, but Spoony and the Cinema Snob agree with me! Suck on that, Bayformers lovers!

That was brilliant. The discussion was great.