Eurovision (spoilers)

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Aug 19, 2010
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My glorious nation ran in 10th, and fucking hell, i'm surprised we got that high.
Hungary sent out some philosopher hipster **** called "bye alex" or whatever, and by the maker he was atrocious. He pulled this thing during the public rehearsal when he partially sung in Finnish, and they loved him for it. (don't get me wrong, I have nothing against our lingual brothers)

Just when you thought Hungary couldn't get any worse
 

Mausthemighty

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Aug 3, 2011
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Denmark deserved the win. The song was an instant earwurm for me. Especially with the annoying flute and the good looking Shakira lookalike.

I'm glad my country (The Netherlands) ended up ninth, after years of not even reaching the finals. Anouk did a good job by singing as herself, but the song was not an instant classic. It was rather a song for a funeral.

The Eurovision has a few constants:
- Quality isn't important for the win. (Dana International, O-Zone anyone?)
- The show will always be rigged. Neighouring countries will give their neighbours the most points. You can bet Cyprus will always give the most points to Greece, Belarus to Russia. Ukraine to Russia and Belarus. Estonia to Latvia, Belgium to Netherlands and vice versa.

I always wind up at the end of the show with what the ... did I just watch?
 

DanielBrown

Dangerzone!
Dec 3, 2010
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Can't say I had a favorite. Would've been fun to see Greece win though, only because their economy is so much in the shitter.

On a side note; I'm really sick of countries hiring songwriters/artists from other countries. Isn't much of a contest between countries then.
 

NinjaDeathSlap

Leaf on the wind
Feb 20, 2011
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Pohaturon said:
My glorious nation ran in 10th, and fucking hell, i'm surprised we got that high.
Hungary sent out some philosopher hipster **** called "bye alex" or whatever, and by the maker he was atrocious. He pulled this thing during the public rehearsal when he partially sung in Finnish, and they loved him for it. (don't get me wrong, I have nothing against our lingual brothers)

Just when you thought Hungary couldn't get any worse
Was that the one where the guy looked like he'd rather have been anywhere else than on that stage, and kept shifting his weight from one foot to the other like he really needed a piss?

If so, then yeah that was particularly awful.
 
Aug 19, 2010
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NinjaDeathSlap said:
Pohaturon said:
My glorious nation ran in 10th, and fucking hell, i'm surprised we got that high.
Hungary sent out some philosopher hipster **** called "bye alex" or whatever, and by the maker he was atrocious. He pulled this thing during the public rehearsal when he partially sung in Finnish, and they loved him for it. (don't get me wrong, I have nothing against our lingual brothers)

Just when you thought Hungary couldn't get any worse
Was that the one where the guy looked like he'd rather have been anywhere else than on that stage, and kept shifting his weight from one foot to the other like he really needed a piss?

If so, then yeah that was particularly awful.
Yep, he's the one.

[small]and to think once we came first...[/small]
 

manic_depressive13

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Dec 28, 2008
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Evil Smurf said:
Not as cute and the Grandmas from Russia.
Meh, the grandmas were deliberate. This guy isn't the central gimmick of the act or anything, he's just inexplicably there.

Incidentally do you speak greek?
 

Guffe

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Jul 12, 2009
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Evil Smurf said:
cojo965 said:
Evil Smurf said:
cojo965 said:
Do neither of you remember the year rock took Euovision? That was the shit.

That's amazing!

I just remember it.
I want to go back in time to a standard Eurovision viewer's house just to see their reaction to Lordi's win.
I'm so glad they won. because that song is crazy to 11
I'm a hippster on 2 fronts, I'm from the same country as Lordi and I listened to them before they won the Eurovision! They actually made a song at the same time with Hard Rock Halellujah which is calles "It Snows in Hell" which was supposed to be their entry, can't remember why they chose Hallelujah instead...

I personally don't follow these competitions, not my type of music and only reason I look up some of the songs is because my friends tell me the singer is hot (I find Norway and Denmark very attractive :D)
 

tahrey

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Sep 18, 2009
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I was a bit disappointed this year, it was pretty bland, even in the semis. Certainly over here in the land of Nul Points, where we rarely have a realistic chance of even coming in the top half let alone winning, the only reason to pay it any heed is because it's a guilty pleasure of musical silliness, especially in the semi finals. Or at least, it was...

I'm quite glad that Greece did well, and that Bulgaria at least made it to the final, but sadly Bosnia (another downright loopy entry) were knocked out. And although we (UK) did alright with a decent tune, and the winner was actually pretty good (with the added bonuses of actually being a nice person AND looking like Emma Watson), she did still belong to the huge group of "people desperately trying to sound like Shakira for some reason", a recent Eurovision phenom that's starting to grate just a bit. Along with the emo hipsters, sub-"Europe" level late 80s rock, and random male voice choirs or warbly women standing around in white dresses.

Other interesting developments are the introduction of some kind of popstep (it's not really "proper" dubstep; there's a hint of polyrhythmicality and some unusual instrumentation, but little in the way of a proper drop, mashed up samples or truly wild synth noises), a drift from 80s hair rock to 90s indie/baggy (there was one act who I swear were an Early Primal Scream covers band who got distracted by the Happy Mondays coming on the radio when they were searching for ideas), and a growing trend towards the reintroduction of "proper" pop music acts as representatives (Tyler, Cascada, etc). If my Nan was bothered to watch it any more (she's a huge Abba fan, partly from their 70s/80s Eurovision outings), I think she would be in turn disturbed, confused, and encouraged by these.

Besides the winner, and Greece being somewhere in the top 10, I couldn't easily pick any of the other frontrunners from each other, they all merged together into one stodgy mass where, once again, the music itself was secondary to all the political bloc voting - I was able to predict certain countries' top choices with decent accuracy, simply because it was bloody obvious they would do that as they ALWAYS vote that way, regardless of quality. I'm kind of tempted to make up a series of maps showing the points relationships between countries - both who they awarded 1 thru 12 points _to_, and where they received points _from_.

(Mind you, it was pleasing to see that Denmark won out with relatively few 8, 10 and 12 point awards - they instead received a lot of solid 5, 6 and 7 point votes from a great majority of the voting countries, whereas the also-rans got plentiful 10s and 12s from their immediate neighbours and "friends", but very little from anyone else...)

Ireland deserved to come last, though. I'm sorry, that song was just dire, god only knows how it got through the semis.
 

tahrey

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Sep 18, 2009
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Evil Smurf said:
I want someone to have a huge dragon dress on and use a smoke machine to eat their own band next year. I want to feel like I'm on drugs.
To be honest, that's mainly why we watched it together as students, as it was cheaper and easier to get (we were in a tiny college town, shut up) than weed...

Daft Time said:
...I want to see that in every musical performance, not just Eurovision. Especially a music festival where almost everyone is already on drugs, watching the crowd freak out would be added awesome.
I'm quoting you mainly because your name made me think "why the hell hasn't France drafted in Daft Punk to write their entry?". I don't know how much it must cost to stage the event, but they seem to be studiously avoiding winning as much as possible by always sending boring, earnest entries who everyone then ignores.

Daft Punk writing a Eurovision entry could well be The Song That Ends The Earth.

(Captcha: SAVE IT
Yep, the internet's becoming self aware.)


EDIT: I still have the Eurovision that Lordi won on a VHS somewhere, along with the following year's one from Finland, which was just the business from the opening titles onwards. A classic couple of years for it, and I'll be sure to transfer those tapes to HDD when the time comes to finally bin all my analogue media... would have done already but I seem to remember having issues with copy protection.

Twas only marred, in fact, by the UK entry. I can't remember if it was Stoosh (from my hometown, I'm so so sorry everyone), Blue or Rikki & DAZ trying to do the "weird and crazy" thing just a little too hard and crossing the line into full-on creepy (a shame, because I was familiar with them in a different form as part of the epic Cuban Boys, and then Spray), but by god it was embarassingly awful.

Mind you, being terrible is, in such a context, still far better than being inoffensively bland and placing midway up the table. No-one, but no-one remembers who came twelfth out of twenty-five in last year's contest, let alone five years ago or more.
 

Longstreet

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Jun 16, 2012
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The Netherlands only sends shit acts to the songfestival, so i never watch.
I mean really, this year with Anouk at #9 was the highest EVER.

Anyone who watched (i think it was) last year will remember "De toppers" with "shine" god that was embarrassing.
 

Gigano

Whose Eyes Are Those Eyes?
Oct 15, 2009
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The lingering question that will be asked years from now is of course: How on earth could a song called "Alcohol is free" not win?!

...though I guess it might be a clue to where part of the 40 years of economic irresponsibility and mismanagement in Greece comes from. But it's always good to see a country pull a fast one on itself.
 

Techno Squidgy

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Nov 23, 2010
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Evil Smurf said:
NinjaDeathSlap said:
I know, we should either camp it up to eleven, or we should actually enter acts that are genuinely popular here and represent what people here actually listen to outside Eurovison. I really couldn't give 2 shits where we come, in fact I hope we never win. Hosting Eurovison is far more trouble than it's worth.

Speaking of safe, what the hell was so special about the Italian entry. It got so bigged up, apparently being at #1 in Italy for 8 weeks, and already going multi-platinum, and when it was over I was like "Wait... that's it?!".

I thought it was hilarious that this is the first time I've seen Ireland actually try and enter a respectable Eurovison song... and they came dead last. xD They should bring Drustan the Turkey back.
Italy was a nostalgia trip to old school eurovision. That's what the big deal was.

I want someone to have a huge dragon dress on and use a smoke machine to eat their own band next year. I want to feel like I'm on drugs.
You could always just take drugs and watch Eurovision.

Though watching Eurovision is pretty dangerous to your mental health already so I'm not sure if anyone's mind could handle it.
 

Evil Smurf

Admin of Catoholics Anonymous
Nov 11, 2011
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Techno Squidgy said:
Evil Smurf said:
NinjaDeathSlap said:
I know, we should either camp it up to eleven, or we should actually enter acts that are genuinely popular here and represent what people here actually listen to outside Eurovison. I really couldn't give 2 shits where we come, in fact I hope we never win. Hosting Eurovison is far more trouble than it's worth.

Speaking of safe, what the hell was so special about the Italian entry. It got so bigged up, apparently being at #1 in Italy for 8 weeks, and already going multi-platinum, and when it was over I was like "Wait... that's it?!".

I thought it was hilarious that this is the first time I've seen Ireland actually try and enter a respectable Eurovison song... and they came dead last. xD They should bring Drustan the Turkey back.
Italy was a nostalgia trip to old school eurovision. That's what the big deal was.

I want someone to have a huge dragon dress on and use a smoke machine to eat their own band next year. I want to feel like I'm on drugs.
You could always just take drugs and watch Eurovision.

Though watching Eurovision is pretty dangerous to your mental health already so I'm not sure if anyone's mind could handle it.
There are drinking games.
 

capper42

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Nov 20, 2009
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Eurovision was pretty boring this year, not many overly ridiculous acts, just a lot that sounded pretty similar. Most people (Romania excluded) seemed to be genuinely taking the competition seriously.
 

Edguy

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Jan 31, 2011
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It's good that you put a spoiler warning in the title, so someone don't waltz in and get ESC ruined for them. lololl9olfs
 

Angelowl

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Feb 8, 2013
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I boycotted it, due the person with the most votes in Sweden not winning the preliminary contest and got sent.

A cute bishie guitarist and singer, pretty skilled visual kei artist wins the most amount of votes by far. And due to the judges not agreeing the peoples favourite didn't technically win, and they picked the guy with the second most votes instead.

So for once we have something new and it's really popular, but they wanted to play it safe and send someone with zero chance to win in the international. >.<

Still pissed about it, they really should have sent Yohio. :/, I mean a skilled musician and a total bishie. :3
 

NinjaDeathSlap

Leaf on the wind
Feb 20, 2011
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Evil Smurf said:
You know what I want to see happen (if it hasn't already)? I want to see Far East Asia do their own version of the Eurovison Song Contest. Seriously, combine the already general craziness of J and K-Pop with the joke factor of Eurovision. SOMEBODY PITCH THIS SHIT!
 

Galletea

Inexplicably Awesome
Sep 27, 2008
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I wanted Greece to win, they had the catchiest song.

There's too much seriousness going on in what is essentially a very silly contest. Needs more singing wizards and accordion playing rugby players...though I hate accordions I think this is the best place for it.