Ever feel like the universe is just fucking with you?

[AlwaystheUnlucky]

Man, you guys have it rough. I don't know if it's just my detachment from reality, but I rarely have that or maybe I do, I just don't care enough about it to bother me. When it happens though, friends definitely help fix it. Then again, I get happy and excited way too easily.

 

[SomeBritishDude]

If you think that you, out everyone on the entire planet and the entirity of creation is significant enough to be fucked with by the universe...then you need a trip into the Total Perspective Vortex. Your no more significant than a fly in the terms of the entirity of even the known universe, as is the earth in the relation to everything that every was and ever will be. Your nothing. In fact your less than nothing, nothing is such an odd occurance that it's actually bears a lot more significance than you and everything you'll ever achieve.

There. Don't you feel better?

 

[PoliceBox63]

Possibly the greatest 4 words for me that are applicable in every situation: This too shall pass.
Gets me through the tough times and reminds me to enjoy and be thankful for the good.

 

[Ponce Master-General]

Yes, but always come out on top thanks to my perseverence and natural poncing ways.

 

[Co3x]

snip

Wait, we get days that are amazing? Is there a form I forgot to sign somewhere or something? Because I sure as hell could use one or two...

To the OP: Well, damn. That sucks, but there's nothing one can do is there? If there is, please, do tell! ... Well, at least know that you're not alone being screwed over by the universe (and yes, that's somehow supposed to be comforting)

Yeah there was a check box option near the bottom. I think it was under the one to opt out of hangovers...

 

[FalloutJack]

If someone were to throw me a shovel, I'd KILL THEM with the shovel. I take no shit in my life. Now way. Too bad. You can't force shit on me. I fight back.

So you'll beat up the puddle you just dropped your sandwhich in?

Good luck

Boy, what is it with you people and taking things the wrong way? On the first part, the world is not fucking with you because you dropped a frigging sandwich. And on the second part, just eat the damn sandwich. It's just water! I'm saying that when things go wrong, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT instead of lamenting about the quality of life. You're only a victim if you let yourself BE a victim.

Lemme tell you, I don't do depression. Some people are more prone to it, I'm prone NOT to it. If I have to respect that people get depressed for even no reason at all, you have to respect that I'm never afflicted and that I approach bad situations with piss and vinegar. If you don't like that I have a system that works here, then I suggest you just leave me alone about it. Won't get anywhere by arguing with me.

 

[unoleian]

Something Bill Hicks said comes to mind:

"'God put [dinosaur fossils] here to test our faith!' ? I think God put you here to test my faith, dude. Does that bother anybody else, the idea that God might be fucking with our heads? I have trouble sleeping with that knowledge, some prankster god runnin' around, [pantomimes digging] 'We'll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God ? I am killing me!'"

Oh my goodness I 100% support and endorse this post. By the way Bill Hicks was a genius. And an incredibly funny one, at that.

----

There's a lot of days where I feel like the universe's whipping boy. I'm sure it's entirely nonsensical and egotistical, and most of the perceived problems are my own damn fault, but sometimes it's hard not to feel that way. We tend to only notice stuff when it's annnoying or hard. When everything's going right, well, then we take it for granted, and don't notice it at all.

 

[Death_Korps_Kommissar]

When you think you've hit rock bottom, some asshole throws you a shovel.
Broken computer, really laggy xbox, no one doing anything.
I just thought to myself, hey I'll get a nice hot subway to cheer me up. Mmy new sandwich lying in a fucking puddle

As the person (somewhere) above me said:
"So your "rock bottom" is being bored and dropping a sandwich?"
To quote Zaed "Man up, soldier, I've seen worse." Although that person was injured by Krogan, and you dropped a sandwich.

I can't quote everyone who said the same thing because I have to do all this on my iPod, I was just giving an example of today, how little insignificant shit can just snowball on you. I'll probably add to my op later.

 

[Death_Korps_Kommissar]

If you think that you, out everyone on the entire planet and the entirity of creation is significant enough to be fucked with by the universe...then you need a trip into the Total Perspective Vortex. Your no more significant than a fly in the terms of the entirity of even the known universe, as is the earth in the relation to everything that every was and ever will be. Your nothing. In fact your less than nothing, nothing is such an odd occurance that it's actually bears a lot more significance than you and everything you'll ever achieve.

There. Don't you feel better?

A little yes thank you=P

 

[Mistermixmaster]

snip

Wait, we get days that are amazing? Is there a form I forgot to sign somewhere or something? Because I sure as hell could use one or two...

To the OP: Well, damn. That sucks, but there's nothing one can do is there? If there is, please, do tell! ... Well, at least know that you're not alone being screwed over by the universe (and yes, that's somehow supposed to be comforting)

Yeah there was a check box option near the bottom. I think it was under the one to opt out of hangovers...

Darnit! How the hell did I miss it then? I know for a fact that I did opt out of hangovers!

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

I live in a first world nation with a somewhat Democratic system of government, I have a reasonable hope of living in an even better nation sometime in my life, I have a family with an income above the poverty line, and I have internet access.

A lot of shit goes bad for me. I have no girlfriend, my gaming computer is broken beyond pretty much any repair, I have a friend who tends to break a lot of my belongings (especially the several years old and sentimental kind), I'm technically obese (I say "technically" because all the men in my family are, and none of us really look like it - just the way we're built I guess), and a million other things I don't feel comfortable discussing here. All things considered though, I don't think I am in any position to say the universe is fucking with me. I pretty much have every need met on Maslow's hierarchy and then some. I'm doing fine.

 

[nunqual]

I've never felt that way, to be honest. However, I knew a guy who said something that for some reason resonated with me. This man cannot get water on the bottoms of his feet or on his palms without the skin disentigrating and bleeding. This is due to a genetic disorder which has no treatment. It's a rather horrifying sight. One day, after coming out of the pool, he was in intense pain, and he said to me: "Cosmic lottery screwed me over. Fuck me."

That kind of jarred me for some reason.

If he has this condition, why does he go swimming? *curious*

Because everyone else was, I suppose, we were at a beach house. He tried to keep his hands out of the water as much as possible. Same with taking showers. (obviously I never saw him in the shower, but he talked about it)

 

[Thundero13]

To be honest i'm pretty happy with the universe ever since the man I fell in love with came out to me just a few days after I fell for him, as soon as he's fully out of the closet i'll work up the courage to ask him out.

 

[pyrosaw]

This one time, I watched an old episode of CSI. It was called "Hodge's lucky day". I said to myself,"I'm gonna to do my best to have a great day tomorrow." The next day, the only girl I liked in the class, nay, the entire school(small middle school), wrote a letter to my best friend that he was the only guy she would ever consider dating. Later that day, my math teacher suspended me because of talking. "Fair enough" I thought. "Teachers don't need me to interrupt their classes when trying to teach." But when theres at the very least, 15 people talking louder than me(I was trying to whisper a joke to my friend), that's just kinda stupid. Later that night, my PS3 broke. Calling it the worst day of my life is an understatment.