Ex may want to get back together with me.

[SovietX]

My ex and I have been chatting recently, mainly because she told me that she misses being my friend so we have been talking alot, like we used to. Now I dont know if I accidently gave her a signal that I want to be with her again but now shes being really irritating and constantly trying to contact me. Now we always used to joke around in a flirty way, before our relationship, during and shortly after. Im thinking this might have made her thought that we are back on or something. Shes a good kid but I dont think I would get back with her. Also, it would be awkward because she recently broke up with her boyfriend, who happens to be one of my friends (the plot thickens...) and now its just getting weird. Give me some advice fellow Escapists.

For the record, im single and have been since we broke up (about 10 months ago give or take a month).

 

[Ziadaine_v1legacy]

Dont do it, Simple as that.

 

[LawlessSquirrel]

It doesn't sound like it's a good idea to get back together, in my opinion. It sounds like the only reason to would be because she wants to.
For one, you tried it once and it didn't work out, but you recovered friend status. She also may be on the rebound and just trying to find some measure of security.

In short, it doesn't sound like enough of a reason to get back together when there's a lot of room for error. She'll calm down eventually, she just needs time.

 

[Pumpkinmancer]

I think Aylaine's advice is the most solid you can get for this issue.

 

[Stasisesque]

My ex and I have been chatting recently, mainly because she told me that she misses being my friend so we have been talking alot, like we used to. Now I dont know if I accidently gave her a signal that I want to be with her again but now shes being really irritating and constantly trying to contact me. Now we always used to joke around in a flirty way, before our relationship, during and shortly after. Im thinking this might have made her thought that we are back on or something. Shes a good kid but I dont think I would get back with her. Also, it would be awkward because she recently broke up with her boyfriend, who happens to be one of my friends (the plot thickens...) and now its just getting weird. Give me some advice fellow Escapists.

For the record, im single and have been since we broke up (about 10 months ago give or take a month).

First, ask her why she tries to talk to you so much and things like that. Then ask her if she likes you, if she says yes, tell her you do not have any feelings for her. The forward approach may hurt the most, but it's the truthful one that doesn't require any lying or deception to give her a different idea. This way she also hears it from you that there isn't anything there, and can move on herself.

I hope this helps!

Oh god no, what will asking her if she has feelings for you achieve? In one instance it'll sound like you're leading her on, which she's not going to take well, in another she'll have a fantastic opportunity to lie.

Simply tell her, in as tactful a way possible, that her behaviour is worrying you - apologise for sending her the wrong message if that's the case, and state clearly and for the record that you have no feelings for her and do not wish to pursue a relationship. If you want to stay friends, mention that. Then just let her get on with things. She might be embarrassed, she may react badly, but as long as you are tactful and respectful, things should work out.

And don't fret too much over sending her the wrong message, it happens - especially in written medium.

 

[zombiesinc]

If you don't wish to get back together, yet she continues to give you signals indicating the opposite, then (if you wish to resolve that uncertainty) you should talk to her. Let her know that although you're enjoying talking more, or being friends, you do not wish to get back together. If she's coming off as needy, or generally annoying, let her know that you enjoy your space, and feel it's weird that she's trying to be in contact with you so often. If she does wish to get back together, these things may hurt, but being honest and straight-forward is far better than leading her on.

After explaining how you feel, she may either be hurt, or may realize that she was giving signals she wasn't meaning to give. Ultimately, what's important is making sure both of you are on the same page.

 

[Aurgelmir]

My ex and I have been chatting recently, mainly because she told me that she misses being my friend so we have been talking alot, like we used to. Now I dont know if I accidently gave her a signal that I want to be with her again but now shes being really irritating and constantly trying to contact me. Now we always used to joke around in a flirty way, before our relationship, during and shortly after. Im thinking this might have made her thought that we are back on or something. Shes a good kid but I dont think I would get back with her. Also, it would be awkward because she recently broke up with her boyfriend, who happens to be one of my friends (the plot thickens...) and now its just getting weird. Give me some advice fellow Escapists.

For the record, im single and have been since we broke up (about 10 months ago give or take a month).

You broke up for a reason. Remember that.

Most people I know that has had the on again off again deal, usually never last

 

[shiig]

I'd say to give the girl a chance. Your love life doesn't seem to be going much of anywhere, and she's coming on to you, which her ex (your friend) should understand. Keep it casual, but see where it goes. If it goes, evaluate - Is it worth it?

And don't let yourself get too involved. If it's just a rebound, she will probably bounce right along.

Even girls fuck up.