Explain teenage mothers to me

[Vern5]

...Because I really can't wrap my head around the idea.

I can understand accidental teenage pregnancies. Mistakes can be made. People can be eager. Condoms can break. Accidental pregnancies make sense.

What I'm bothered by are these girls who, at a very young age, willingly step into motherhood with smiling faces and eager hearts. Why do they do it? What is the intended satisfaction?

I have an acquaintance from way back in high school. She became pregnant almost immediately after graduating. Rather than be sad or panicked she reported, via Facebook, that all had gone as planned and she was delighted. Fast forward to the present and, just by watching the status updates that I keep forgetting to unsubscribe to, you can tell that she's bored, poor, and lonely (her baby daddy has apparently vanished).

So, who can explain this whole mess to me?

 

[CrazyGirl17]

Y'know, I really don't get it either. Maybe they're desperate for love or something. In that case, where are their parents in all of this?! *SIGH*

 

[Girl With One Eye]

I have no idea. It's become almost a trend now, so many girls I went to school with started popping out kids within the year. Most people assume it's because of the financial benefits they recieve as parents, I also believe it's easier for them to get a flat/house. But I honestly can't say for sure.

 

[manic_depressive13]

I don't know. I generally can't understand why people willingly have children.

A lot of girls just have it drilled into them from a young age that their purpose in life is to have children. Even as toddlers they're given shitty dolls whose nappies they can change, and that they can push around in a pram, whereas the conventional toys for boys are things like legos and transformers. I imagine that while many girls grow to resent that, some learn to embrace it instead. Maybe they're just too eager to "grow up".

 

[TehCookie]

Some women have very strong maternal instincts and want to have kids. Or want something to need and depend on them that they can take care of that makes them feel important and gives meaning to their life. Or at least that's my guess.

 

[SonicWaffle]

So, who can explain this whole mess to me?

Likely the cause of it is that, being kids themselves, these girls don't truly understand the consequences. They have a shag, get pregnant and think "how hard can it be to raise a baby?"

Undoubtedly they find out, but most teenagers aren't very good at thinking ahead. Didn't we all think we were bulletproof at that age?

Plus there's anti-abortion propaganda aimed at convincing them that by having an abortion, they'll be murdering a baby. I find it easy to dismiss, but then, I'm not an impressionable teenager with a baby in my belly. I imagine it looks a lot scarier to them.

 

[Wushu Panda]

it wasnt that long ago when a girl would get her period and then be considered ripe for marriage and birthing children. its a large part instinctual to reproduce, even in todays world. i suppose some girls more than others have an instinct to mate and have a child more than others but biologically speaking once a girl is able to birth a child she is old enough to have a child. its only because people have started living 60+ years that relatively speaking those girls are "young".

people will start breeding any other animal as soon as they can, but when people do, its considered a "mess". humans forget they're animals too. we've only evolved so much to lose our fur coat and tails and for some reason we consider ourselves cool shit.

 

[Colour Scientist]

Some people just really want to have kids and thats all there is to it.

Pretty much this.

Some women just want to have children at a young age. Maybe they don't realise how hard it will be, or the possibility of being abandoned by the father but for most young girls who do have children they just want to start a family of their own.

Not every girl who has a child young ends up in a terrible situation. Some thrive as single parents, grow their careers and go on to lead happy lives, with or without the father. There's no age where it becomes 'easy' to have children, it's always a struggle.

 

[FamoFunk]

I was 18 when I become a Mum, do I count as a teen?

Why should teen's be sad or worried about it? Like teens are the worse parents in the world; parents in their 30's are just as bad or even worse. Every age had good and bad parents, seriously, the sweeping statements are stupid.

The best age for your body to have a baby is teens and early 20's, as long as you/your partner can help support then why not? why should their be some age limit and why should I, as a young Mum be shamed and hidden from society.
I do a bloody good job in raising my child, better than a tonne of Women in their 30's who're screaming and hitting their children because they cannot handle them or Motherhood.

There's no right or wrong age to have children. The only worrying thing is support, financially, which can happen at any age.

 

[Hazy992]

I remember one girl at my high school pretending she was pregnant because a lot of her friends were. Ah, Catholic school!

NB: My mother had me when she was 18, but I highly doubt I was planned :3

 

[Batou667]

Mothering instinct? Seems pretty obvious if you ask me.

 

[winginson]

People feel different ways about things. Some people want to have xhildren ASP, some want to wait until their mid-twenties/thirties, some never want to have children. All are equally valid views. I would say it is probally a bell curve centred on the early to mid twenties however.

 

[Otaku World Order]

Well, I don't know about the States, but there is a reality show that airs here called Sixteen and Pregnant.

I am dead serious.

Between that and Toddlers and Tiaras, I'm really starting to worry about society.

 

[NegaWiki]

...Because I really can't wrap my head around the idea.

I can understand accidental teenage pregnancies. Mistakes can be made. People can be eager. Condoms can break. Accidental pregnancies make sense.

What I'm bothered by are these girls who, at a very young age, willingly step into motherhood with smiling faces and eager hearts. Why do they do it? What is the intended satisfaction?


So, who can explain this whole mess to me?

I have two examples:
Girl A: Star student, track star, well-liked girl. Terrible home life, boyfriend promises to take her in once they get married. They have sex, she gets pregnant, shotgun wedding, she is still in school and has a child. Child will grow up in a good environment, everyone's happy.

Girl B: Awful student, goes to school for the social aspects, neglectful parents. She makes up her mind to become a better mother than her own, so she dupes a guy into getting her pregnant, stays in school because everyone goes " look at her! She's so brave and strong for continuing her education while pregnant!" The father leaves, she barely graduates highschool but the cost of a baby is too much for her to go to college.

The thing about these (true) cases is that they both used the baby for some purpose. Girl A wanted to get out of a terrible household, Girl B wanted to prove that she's a better mom/ loved the gratification. They're both doing well, GA is going to college, GB married some guy who went to college.

And of course there are the girls who plain don't care and get pregnant on accident, but you understand them.

 

[emeraldrafael]

Love probably has something to do with it, and that connection of a mother and her child.

... i dont know. Though it sounds like the thread is encouraging teen moms to have abortions.

 

[Vern5]

it wasnt that long ago when a girl would get her period and then be considered ripe for marriage and birthing children. its a large part instinctual to reproduce, even in todays world. i suppose some girls more than others have an instinct to mate and have a child more than others but biologically speaking once a girl is able to birth a child she is old enough to have a child. its only because people have started living 60+ years that relatively speaking those girls are "young".

I was 18 when I become a Mum, do I count as a teen?

Why should teen's be sad or worried about it? Like teens are the worse parents in the world; parents in their 30's are just as bad or even worse. Every age had good and bad parents, seriously, the sweeping statements are stupid.

The best age for your body to have a baby is teens and early 20's, as long as you/your partner can help support then why not? why should their be some age limit and why should I, as a young Mum be shamed and hidden from society.
I do a bloody good job in raising my child, better than a tonne of Women in their 30's who're screaming and hitting their children because they cannot handle them or Motherhood.

There's no right or wrong age to have children. The only worrying thing is support, financially, which can happen at any age.

Plus there's anti-abortion propaganda aimed at convincing them that by having an abortion, they'll be murdering a baby. I find it easy to dismiss, but then, I'm not an impressionable teenager with a baby in my belly. I imagine it looks a lot scarier to them.

I feel like these three post portions offer the most insight. Thank you, Escapists.

... i dont know. Though it sounds like the thread is encouraging teen moms to have abortions.

I never said that.

 

[WolfThomas]

it wasnt that long ago when a girl would get her period and then be considered ripe for marriage and birthing children. its a large part instinctual to reproduce, even in todays world.

Of course it really depends on the time period of course, but interestingly enough for the majority of human existence periods were actually quite rare. Menarche started later in girls due to a poorer nutritional state and they were usually having intercourse by the time they first ovulated, so they became pregnant, breastfed for a longer time which suppresses it also and then usually became pregnant again and again till menopause or death (whichever came first).

 

[Astoria]

It's because that's what they're told to do in a way. Either you go on to a great career or you get married and have kids. These girls probably don't want a great career or think they aren't good enough for one so they go with the other option. They see it as the perfect life, completely ignoring the work that has to go into raising a child and the fact that maybe the guy isn't ready to be a father. There also would be some who only see babies as a way to get easy money (Australia has a baby bonus or at least did) or as an excuse to not have to do anything with their life.