Explain your Situation

[Sexy Street]

This is a little game that I used to do quite a lot here on the escapist. I tell you the time, items around you, and other things and you choose what happened (make up what YOU think happened).
So lets begin.
You are in a dirty room. There is a toppled over bead in the corner. It is 10:30 PM. You see four dead chickens near the bed in a pool of blood. You also see a man on fire outside. There is a bloody golf club to your right, and a walrus with a top hat too your right.
So, escapist, what the hell happened?

 

[Fenring]

>look in pocket

 

[Fenring]

Whoops, double post

 

[impcnrd]

don't worry about what happened. just clean it up and forget

 

[Blind Sight]

I took way too much acid.

 

[HT_Black]

Obviously, someone butchered my chickens and set himself on fire in what was apparently a drug-induced craze, and Paul came back to town without telling me. The golf club is a memento I have from that one time I beat a racoon to death; I likely took it up to defend my flock before passing out of narcolepsy.

Or I inadvertantly strayed into Indego Prophecy some time during the night.

 

[Hazy]

My deduction: the subject has suffered a severe case of amnesia after choosing to escape their identity and find a new one in a stereotypical South American society. Upon arrival, he decided to visit the zoo, a sporting good's store, a market, and a men's warehouse - buying one item from each, and stealing a large Walrus.

Upon returning to his home, he had a mild panic attack brought on by acute paranoia, and promptly responded by setting a man on fire. Attempting to ditch the evidence, he placed the top hat on the walrus, murdered the four chickens (he didn't kill the walrus because he wasn't facing him upon setting the man ablaze - ergo, he was no witness,) turning the bed over, and hiding the golf club.

How'd I do?

 

[defult]

Yet another family gathering

 

[Sexy Street]

My deduction: the subject has suffered a severe case of amnesia after choosing to escape their identity and find a new one in a stereotypical South American society. Upon arrival, he decided to visit the zoo, a sporting good's store, and a men's warehouse - buying one item from each.

Upon returning to his home, he had a mild panic attack brought on by acute paranoia, and promptly responded by setting a man on fire. Attempting to ditch the evidence, he placed the top hat on the walrus, murdered the four chickens (he didn't kill the walrus because he wasn't facing him upon setting the man ablaze - ergo, he was no witness.)

How'd I do?

Pretty good, but its for everyone to decide what the hell happened (IE: Opinion), but yours is definently awesome.

 

[Skorpyo]

I fell out of bed again.

 

[StBishop]

My deduction: the subject has suffered a severe case of amnesia after choosing to escape their identity and find a new one in a stereotypical South American society. Upon arrival, he decided to visit the zoo, a sporting good's store, a market, and a men's warehouse - buying one item from each, and stealing a large Walrus.

Upon returning to his home, he had a mild panic attack brought on by acute paranoia, and promptly responded by setting a man on fire. Attempting to ditch the evidence, he placed the top hat on the walrus, murdered the four chickens (he didn't kill the walrus because he wasn't facing him upon setting the man ablaze - ergo, he was no witness,) turning the bed over, and hiding the golf club.

How'd I do?

Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

I can't even compete with this.

 

[Alon Shechter]

Slender Man was in my dreams again.

 

[brodie21]

great party

 

[ultrachicken]

A chicken vendor and his trusty walrus steed knocked on my door. I have a fetish for classy walruses, so I offered the man 73.069 dollars for the walrus. The idea of his trusty steed leaving him made him go insane. He grabbed a golf club he had cleverly disguised as his own leg and beat the chickens to death. He pulled out a tank of gasoline from a secret hatch under my doorstep, but before dousing himself in it, he put his hat on top of the walrus, so as to keep it from getting dirty. He doused himself in the fluid, then extracted a lighter from his nose, which he used to set himself ablaze. The walrus sang a sweet saronade that lulled me into a 5-10 second sleep.

 

[KefkaCultist]

Well obviously I was having an orgy with a guy and 4 chickens when my jealous, fancy hat wearing ex-boyfriend walrus barged into the room with a golf club, lit the guy on fire and beat all the chickens to death.

 

[Lust]

It was Tuesday.

And that's about all I can say.

 

[Paksenarrion]

Well obviously I was having an orgy with a guy and 4 chickens when my jealous, fancy hat wearing ex-boyfriend walrus barged into the room with a golf club, lit the guy on fire and beat all the chickens to death.

...did you have mad, hot, frenzied, make-up walrus sex after?

 

[KefkaCultist]

Well obviously I was having an orgy with a guy and 4 chickens when my jealous, fancy hat wearing ex-boyfriend walrus barged into the room with a golf club, lit the guy on fire and beat all the chickens to death.

...did you have mad, hot, frenzied, make-up walrus sex after?

Well of course, thats the only thing you can do in those situations

 

[Paksenarrion]

Well obviously I was having an orgy with a guy and 4 chickens when my jealous, fancy hat wearing ex-boyfriend walrus barged into the room with a golf club, lit the guy on fire and beat all the chickens to death.

...did you have mad, hot, frenzied, make-up walrus sex after?

Well of course, thats the only thing you can do in those situations

Ah hah! Now I know who you are! You're the author of the Twilight books, aren't you! This very situation just screams 15 year-year old girl/cougar house-mom fan fiction!

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

Damn Satanic rituals don't go nearly as planned...