Explain your Situation

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Underground Man

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Sep 20, 2010
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The walrus in the top hat actually symbolizes the absurdist sub-group of post-modern neofeminism, likely a commentary on traditional gender roles and the need some feel to anthropomorphize these struggles for interpretation via Freudian neologisms. Notice that it is to the right, not the left, which is the predominant hand for most humans (meaning that this is the suggested interpretation). The man on fire is obviously a visualization of utilitarian cost-benefit analysis of freedom from the previously mentioned gender dysphoria, expressing fears that the utopian philosophies expounded by most neofeminists might cause cognitive dissonance and eventual self-destruction. The upturned bed ties this all back to sexual orientation, and the need for mental exploration before any physical desires can be truly fulfilled. The golf club, which is a weapon specifically attuned for groin-hitting in Fallout: New Vegas, a plodding yet accessible social commentary, is a representation of female hostility, rooted in jealousy, toward male anatomy (which they, according to Freud, desire but can never attain). The blood and chickens, symbolic of womanly fertility and hearkening back to their natural monthly rhythms is intended to suggest that their kind can reach self-actualization through bearing children. Finally, the filth of the room suggest that this philosophical discourse will be convoluted and muddied by the male agenda that dominates academia.

I'm not reading too much into this, right?
 

Mstrswrd

Always playing Touhou. Always.
Mar 2, 2008
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"...Oh, god, those pills weren't Biotin... also, Walrus dude! High-Five!"
And than I would high-five the Walrus.

Oh, wait, you said explain how I got there, not what I would do... uh... I took pills that were supposed to be Biotin but were instead really bad acid.

Not quite sure why there would be acid in a Biotin container, but there ya' go.
 

Underground Man

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Sep 20, 2010
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Lord Tricky said:
Underground Man said:
The walrus in the top hat actually symbolizes the absurdist sub-group of post-modern neofeminism, likely a commentary on traditional gender roles and the need some feel to anthropomorphize these struggles for interpretation via Freudian neologisms. Notice that it is to the right, not the left, which is the predominant hand for most humans (meaning that this is the suggested interpretation). The man on fire is obviously a visualization of utilitarian cost-benefit analysis of freedom from the previously mentioned gender dysphoria, expressing fears that the utopian philosophies expounded by most neofeminists might cause cognitive dissonance and eventual self-destruction. The upturned bed ties this all back to sexual orientation, and the need for mental exploration before any physical desires can be truly fulfilled. The golf club, which is a weapon specifically attuned for groin-hitting in Fallout: New Vegas, a plodding yet accessible social commentary, is a representation of female hostility, rooted in jealousy, toward male anatomy (which they, according to Freud, desire but can never attain). The blood and chickens, symbolic of womanly fertility and hearkening back to their natural monthly rhythms is intended to suggest that their kind can reach self-actualization through bearing children. Finally, the filth of the room suggest that this philosophical discourse will be convoluted and muddied by the male agenda that dominates academia.

I'm not reading too much into this, right?
Your interpretation of the upturned bed symbolizing a need for mental expansion before the natural fulfillment of basic human needs gives more evidence to the far reaching effects the bloated top hat sporting walri have already reeked on the collective consciousness through the emasculation(burning)of man and the oppression(dead chickens) of women by other women. The united theme presented is a reflection to the current chaos and dysfunction we observe in nearly all social contexts in modern society.
Well the clock set at 10:30 PM confirms your hypothesis that this situation is a reflection on current events, as the time reflects the waning hour upon which we humans are balanced precariously should we not resolve the conflicts characterizing the macrocosm of our proverbial Jungian subconcious.
 

LongAndShort

I'm pretty good. Yourself?
May 11, 2009
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CarpathianMuffin said:
Damn Satanic rituals don't go nearly as planned...
I know what you mean man. I wanted a goat-headed demon from the fires of the fifth circle of hell to reap a terrible vengeance upon my enemies and possible enemies (just hate them so much) and instead I get a fucking walrus. I mean sure it is wearing a top-hat, and sure it can still reap a terrible vengeance upon my enemies and possible enemies, but it'll want a fish afterward. And that'll mean another two chickens to summon a fish to give to the walrus.
 

dorkette1990

New member
Mar 1, 2010
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That damned walrus got my chickens again... every time I agree to do a dance number with him, Simon Cowell combusts in horror and my chickens end up dead. And did the kick line really need to involve my bed?!
 

Nailz

New member
Jul 13, 2010
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There is a toppled over bead in the corner... It is 10:30 PM.
I see four dead chickens near the bed in a pool of blood.
There is a toppled over bead in the corner...
I also see a man on fire outside. There is a toppled over bead in the corner...
There is a bloody golf club to my right, and a walrus with a top hat.
There is a toppled over bead in the corner...

I sit down and recall events...
Someone was planning something, something important, for ten tonight. If only I could remember. Wait. Wasn't Sergei coming over. Hmm... Who is Sergei... Didn't I place some sort of order with him? Something about a custom made piece of jewelery... Wait, there is a toppled over bead in the corner... Now that I think of it this bead is huge! No wonder that's the first thing I noticed even though there is some weird ass stuff in this room. Wow this bead must be like a ton, literally, of glass. How'd it even get in my apartment? Oh My Gawd, my chickens! Something has killed my chickens! Jeremy, Larry, Garry, and Stuart, my best avian friends in the world. They look like pancakes, oh christ the enormous glass bead must have rolled over them when it toppled. Who's that man on fire? Is it... Sergei? Wait, did he topple that glass bead? Yes, now I remember! He killed my friends! I must have flown into a rage and beat him with this bloody golf club, then set him on fire.

I dust myself off. "Well Mr. President, in spite of this unfortunate turn of events, I would still be honored if you would accept the world's largest glass bead as a token of my appreciation." The walrus with a top hat slaps itself in the face with its flippers in acknowledgement. Another job well done.
 

CarpathianMuffin

Space. Lance.
Jun 7, 2010
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deadman91 said:
CarpathianMuffin said:
Damn Satanic rituals don't go nearly as planned...
I know what you mean man. I wanted a goat-headed demon from the fires of the fifth circle of hell to reap a terrible vengeance upon my enemies and possible enemies (just hate them so much) and instead I get a fucking walrus. I mean sure it is wearing a top-hat, and sure it can still reap a terrible vengeance upon my enemies and possible enemies, but it'll want a fish afterward. And that'll mean another two chickens to summon a fish to give to the walrus.
By suffocating them in the folds of its blubber it could destroy any and all enemies. That is, before it turned the blubber of unspeakable evil upon you in payment.
 

Pegghead

New member
Aug 4, 2009
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Eat the chickens for sustenance, kill the walrus with gold club, take his top hat, drink his blood then piss on the burning man outside.

Clearly the villain is the one in the top hat...and it all came about through his villainous deeds.
 

ottenni

New member
Aug 13, 2009
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I did nothing, i am the victim here. It was all the walrus.

It it ALWAYS the walrus!