Failed attempts at being bad ass...

[Rshady]

Was anyone else pissed off by the black marine from COD4 (SSGT Griggs)? Every time he spoke I felt like punching him. The fact that he reps over the end credits only increases my blood pressure.

Since when does every black guy you meet in an FPS is an unstoppable immortal badass with the ability to take a full magazine to the head and not die? Are they trying to placate the black community by saying "Hey, look! Black people can be immortal and impervious to harm too." I first saw it in Halo and remember wondering "He's black, EVERYBODY else is white. Meh, whatever" But now it's gone beyond silly. When was the last time a black ally of yours actually died?

Have you actually finished the game yet? He isn't immortal.

Anywho, failed badassery? Most of the characters from Saints Row, still love the game though.

 

[PedroSteckecilo]

Oh, Uncharted, Nathan Drake, he doesn't have a lot of failed attempts or anything, hell by todays standards he hardly tries to be badass, but when he fails...he fails hard.

Except he's SUPPOSED to be terrible at being Bad-ass, that's the joke, he's an Adventure Hero, they're NEVER badass except MAYBE near the end of the story. Usually they're likable everyman types who always get in over their heads.

On another note, Kojima DESPERATELY tried to make Raiden badass in MGS4, but failed horribly, Raiden is always whiney, never badass.

 

[Anarchemitis]

Freeman is badass. The Uber-Strong Silent type.

Man of few words, aren't you?

 

[Jhereg42]

Anyone remember Lo Wang from Shadow Warrior? Treat yourself to this quote list.

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Shadow_Warrior

Shining examples:
"You move like a pregnant yak."
"You blocking with your head again!"
"Be proud, Mr. Woo."
"Hmph, rather kick ass than solve puzzle."
"Holy cow! Look like Duke Nukem! HAHAHA!"
"She's raided her last tomb" [after finding Lara Croft chained to the wall of a prison cell]

 

[ElArabDeMagnifico]

Oh, since people brought up Gears of War, I just remembered why I hated the script.

"Don't mind if I do!"

"I'll take that!"

"sweet!"

Gotta love when Cole would jump off a 1 foot ledge, and do his weird "woah" noise.

Also, Star Wolf.."Your Good but I'm better!" - he's so full of "Meh".

 

[T360]

this theard reminds me of the movie shoot em up which had about 18 horrible one liners in it it made me wonder the whole time if it was cheesy on purpose or not.

Dante form dmc is more annoying then badass
and speaking of capcom the RE series has delviered some classly bad dialouge over the years.

 

[Jumplion]

Oh, Uncharted, Nathan Drake, he doesn't have a lot of failed attempts or anything, hell by todays standards he hardly tries to be badass, but when he fails...he fails hard.

Except he's SUPPOSED to be terrible at being Bad-ass, that's the joke, he's an Adventure Hero, they're NEVER badass except MAYBE near the end of the story. Usually they're likable everyman types who always get in over their heads.

On another note, Kojima DESPERATELY tried to make Raiden badass in MGS4, but failed horribly, Raiden is always whiney, never badass.

That reminds me when Snake said to Raiden "You were the lightning in that rain, you can still pull free from the darkenss."

It sounded WAAAYYY to much like Kingdom Hearts that time.

But I thought he was pretty badass, even if he was being emo during the recovery during the mission breifing.

 

[laikenf]

For total failure - it was intentional, but that didn't make it any less grating, Brucie. There was no mission where I didn't want to kill the fucker.

Brucie from GTA 4? Yeah I had really hoped that I would've got to kill him after all that crap he put me through, but alas, maybe I'll invite him out for a game of darts then wail on him with my baseball bat *sadistic smile*.

I took him drinking once (Brucie) and since I parked my car across the street we had to cross over to get it; I managed to stumble my way across (It took some timing, I didn't want to get hit by a car) but Mr. Brucie wasn't so lucky, cause the first thing I heard when I finished crossing the street was a big fat THUMP!! and a message on red fonts on the screen that read "you're friend has been injured", I just thought "thanks, you saved me the trouble". I actually ended up liking Brucie after that (maybe I felt sorry for him or something).

 

[ButtonedDownParadox]

Another little instance from the magnificent Alone in the Dark. Whenever Edward Carnby is getting ready to go through Central Park his faceless love interest insists on following and he drops the line, "...Alright. But don't fuck around or I'll shoot you myself!"

That game is so bad it's almost worth playing through all the way.

 

[wordsmith]

Probably lucien lachance off Oblivion (head of the Dark Brotherhood). RUMOR: "I do not spread rumors dear brother, I make them"

 

[Smyter]

Link he thinks so badass he doesn't talk to anyone

 

[friedmetroid]

Leon Kennedy. A lot of the stuff he does might be badass... but his dialogue makes me want to slap him.

When was the last time a black ally of yours actually died?

Halo. I killed him myself because his lines were so repetitive and annoying.

 

[ReverseEngineered]

Unimpressively bad ass would have to be Cloud from Final Fantasy. You may say he wasn't suppossed to be bad ass, but his whole emo thing, and the fact that he's the toughest person in the game and is out to save the world, always left me with the impression that he "should" be bad ass. But he wasn't, he was entirely too emo. He was never confident, just aloof and cold.

For a real bad ass, I love Duke Nukem. Sure, some of his lines were cheesy, but he at least has the persona that comes with being a bad ass. Still one of my favorite lines ever, "It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum...and I'm all outta gum."

That being said, most games I play don't have badasses associated with them, so both of my examples are probably sorely lacking.

 

[meatloaf231]

Metal Gear Solid.

It's just so poorly written.

Ok, now I really better run.

 

[s0denone]

this theard reminds me of the movie shoot em up which had about 18 horrible one liners in it it made me wonder the whole time if it was cheesy on purpose or not.

I deduced that it was doing it on purpose, every single time, that is. Was wondering a time or two myself, but honestly, I thought the delivery of most of the cheesy dialogue made it clear that it was meant to be cheesy, cheesy and funny that is.

 

[Rob Sharona]

I clicked on this thread hoping it was aimed at xbox live users in general.

 

[s0denone]

I clicked on this thread hoping it was aimed at xbox live users in general.

Oh, but it is, just bring your best example, and I'll provide some provocative, but weak retort, and we can easily turn this into a flame-fest aimed at xbox live users.

 

[Gapperjack]

For total failure - it was intentional, but that didn't make it any less grating, Brucie. There was no mission where I didn't want to kill the fucker.

Brucie from GTA 4? Yeah I had really hoped that I would've got to kill him after all that crap he put me through, but alas, maybe I'll invite him out for a game of darts then wail on him with my baseball bat *sadistic smile*.

I took him drinking once (Brucie) and since I parked my car across the street we had to cross over to get it; I managed to stumble my way across (It took some timing, I didn't want to get hit by a car) but Mr. Brucie wasn't so lucky, cause the first thing I heard when I finished crossing the street was a big fat THUMP!! and a message on red fonts on the screen that read "you're friend has been injured", I just thought "thanks, you saved me the trouble". I actually ended up liking Brucie after that (maybe I felt sorry for him or something).

But Brucie is meant to be a character who thinks he's badass but isn't at all. That's the whole point of his character - that he's all mouth and no trousers. Drinking is always hilarious on GTA4.

 

[Gapperjack]

For a real bad ass, I love Duke Nukem.

You've got to love Duke. I love when at the end of the first section of 3D he tells the alien he's going to 'rip off your head and shit down your neck', and then actually does it at the end of section 2. Genius.

Metal Gear Solid.

It's just so poorly written.

Ok, now I really better run.

Agreed. I enjoyed the games, but most of the dialogue was risible. So often it felt like some teenage writer trying to be deep and philosophical, but really just being pretentious. The ending to Metal Gear Solid 2 was so ridiculously over-long considering how feeble the overall message was.

Unimpressively bad ass would have to be Cloud from Final Fantasy.

The real badass from FF7 was Tifa. That was a girl who could handle herself.