I don't know if this is the right place to do something like this, but... fuck it. Right now my family is trying to decide whether or not to kick my 18 year old sister out on the street. Honestly, none of us know if this is the right thing to do and I could just use a little help form someone who as ever had something similar happen to them. I'll first give some back story.
I am a 20 year old college student who is staying at home with my parents, my parents, my previously mentioned 18 year old sister, and a 13 year old sister.
My sister has been in the past a trouble maker of the highest caliber. She parties, drinks, smokes pot whenever she can. One night 2 years ago I spent 3 hours flagging cars away from my house after she tried to start a party. She has stolen hundreds of dollars worth of items from my parents and extended family (clothes, phones, etc.) and sells most of it. She is verbally abusive to absolutely everyone, constantly putting everyone around her down. Hell, a year and a half ago she called in a bomb threat to the school, in her words, "as a joke." The only reason that she wasn't sent to jail that night was on the judgment of the officer who would pay a visit to our house. She is just all around not a good person and it sucks that I am actually saying that about my sister.
But my family has put up with her this much because, like me and my mother, has been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. She is crazy manic and very high maintenance. She has been sent to a mental institution twice, once after threatening suicide and again after making the threat over Facebook. But she refuses to see any problem at all, completely oblivious to how she is affecting everyone else. She is uncooperative with therapists, refuses to take medication, and denies she even has a problem. I am not unsympathetic to her illness, as I said before, I am also diagnosed Bipolar. I actually moved back home and switched schools because I had a breakdown. But unlike her, I recognize what is wrong with me and am trying to rectify it. I go to therapy, am on meds, and am still going for an engineering degree. She has no plans to improve and is almost certainly going to have to repeat her senior year of high school. She has gotten fired for her last job and owns everyone in our family an obscene amount of money.
Now the events of the past 24 hours: in the last day she has failed a drug test, tested positive for an STD, and has been arrested for shoplifting. She is currently sitting in lockup as I type. On the way to the station, she made a mockery of the whole situation, calling the officer names and other stupid shit. She fully expects to get off with no repercussions for her actions and makes it clear she thinks the whole situation is a joke. She will not change.
Now my mom has discussed with us whether or not we should kick her out. In all honesty, I think she should leave. She treats everyone like shit, is a consummate liar, and is in denial about her problems. But part of me hates the fact that I even can say these things. If we kick her out, she will fail out of high school, she will not get help for her illness, and she won't have any other family to stay with, only a friend's house (maybe). But I don't think she is going to pass if she stays her anyway, she makes it clear that she isn't trying to deal with her illness, and is actively making our lives more miserable.
I am not sure what to think here. I know what needs to be done, but she doesn't. I just need to hear what someone else has to say, whether they have enough distance to see things clearly or someone who has gone through something similar. So, what do we do? Are we selfish for wanting her gone? Are we fucking her up any more if we were to keep tolerating this behavior?
Captcha: public good
I am a 20 year old college student who is staying at home with my parents, my parents, my previously mentioned 18 year old sister, and a 13 year old sister.
My sister has been in the past a trouble maker of the highest caliber. She parties, drinks, smokes pot whenever she can. One night 2 years ago I spent 3 hours flagging cars away from my house after she tried to start a party. She has stolen hundreds of dollars worth of items from my parents and extended family (clothes, phones, etc.) and sells most of it. She is verbally abusive to absolutely everyone, constantly putting everyone around her down. Hell, a year and a half ago she called in a bomb threat to the school, in her words, "as a joke." The only reason that she wasn't sent to jail that night was on the judgment of the officer who would pay a visit to our house. She is just all around not a good person and it sucks that I am actually saying that about my sister.
But my family has put up with her this much because, like me and my mother, has been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. She is crazy manic and very high maintenance. She has been sent to a mental institution twice, once after threatening suicide and again after making the threat over Facebook. But she refuses to see any problem at all, completely oblivious to how she is affecting everyone else. She is uncooperative with therapists, refuses to take medication, and denies she even has a problem. I am not unsympathetic to her illness, as I said before, I am also diagnosed Bipolar. I actually moved back home and switched schools because I had a breakdown. But unlike her, I recognize what is wrong with me and am trying to rectify it. I go to therapy, am on meds, and am still going for an engineering degree. She has no plans to improve and is almost certainly going to have to repeat her senior year of high school. She has gotten fired for her last job and owns everyone in our family an obscene amount of money.
Now the events of the past 24 hours: in the last day she has failed a drug test, tested positive for an STD, and has been arrested for shoplifting. She is currently sitting in lockup as I type. On the way to the station, she made a mockery of the whole situation, calling the officer names and other stupid shit. She fully expects to get off with no repercussions for her actions and makes it clear she thinks the whole situation is a joke. She will not change.
Now my mom has discussed with us whether or not we should kick her out. In all honesty, I think she should leave. She treats everyone like shit, is a consummate liar, and is in denial about her problems. But part of me hates the fact that I even can say these things. If we kick her out, she will fail out of high school, she will not get help for her illness, and she won't have any other family to stay with, only a friend's house (maybe). But I don't think she is going to pass if she stays her anyway, she makes it clear that she isn't trying to deal with her illness, and is actively making our lives more miserable.
I am not sure what to think here. I know what needs to be done, but she doesn't. I just need to hear what someone else has to say, whether they have enough distance to see things clearly or someone who has gone through something similar. So, what do we do? Are we selfish for wanting her gone? Are we fucking her up any more if we were to keep tolerating this behavior?
Captcha: public good
