Here's the thing. I don't watch a lot of what you might call 'good' movies. When I watch a movie, I'm generally watching it because I have no desire to do anything intellectually stimulating or emotionally deep. My favorite movies are almost all B-Movies with a few key exceptions. As a result I can't just list a favorite, so forgive my Nuke-sized post.
I will hereby split my favorite B-Movies into categories to make the list a little more organized. Bear in mind that this list will only touch the tip of the iceberg of my love of bad movies.
So bad it's gone back to bad and then back to good again: Now this category doesn't just mean that they're entertainly cheesy or campy. This means the movie is so legitimately terrible it became an awful movie, and then was so much worse than an awful movie that it swung right back around and became hilarious again. There are only two movies in this category at the moment...
Troll 2 - Pretty much defines the "So Bad it's Good" genre. I've seen this in theatres, after interviewing the father from this movie. I swear, seeing it in the theatre context is SO much better. The acting, the special effects, the story... all brilliant.
Josh Kirby: Time Warrior! - Nothing was quite as pleasant a surprise to me as when I bought the first in this six-part series one time when I was in a No Frills and it was in the $2 bin. A friend of mine and I watched it together for the first of what is now over 10 times. The movie is SO bad that it at the climax of the film they ran out of editing money and were forced to simply summarize the rest of the film. It's brilliantly terrible in the best of ways. You will notice new things wrong with it every time you watch it.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: - Arnold gets his own category because I enjoy his films so. His movies pretty much define camp, and I thoroughly enjoy every one. Honorable mention goes to Last Action Hero but being too purposefully cheesy made me reconsider it.
Predator - One of the best Arnold movies out there. There are so many brilliant lines. It is a tale of brotherhood and comradery. But most of all, all of them shoot the fuck out some trees while yelling because they think they saw something. Aw yeah!
Commando - Everything about this movie is Arnold. The opening that has him carry a goddamn tree, the final sequence where he doesn't reload once and somethetimes switches guns without you seeing. That and it has some of the best Arnold puns in the Arnold genre. "Let off some steam, Bennet" indeed...
Kindergarten Cop - If you don't like this movie you aren't a real person... or you haven't seen it. I need not say any more than that.
Will Smith: Will Smith also gets his own category. If you should know one thing about me, it's that I'm a HUGE Will Smith fan. Not movies starring Will Smith, but Will Smith movies. Let me give you an example: Ali is a movie starring Will Smith. Independence Day is a Will Smith movie. Movies where he plays his Fresh Prince jackass, hilarious motherfucking Will Smith role.
Men In Black - This may or may not be my favorite film on this list. I have watched it three times so far this year, and generally make an effort to watch it at least a couple times a year. The movie is so full of physical comedy, and the dynamic between Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith is just brilliant. I consider this one of the best films ever made. Actually.
Wild Wild West - It should be a testament to this movie that I know ALL of the lyrics to to the rap song of the same name. It goes without saying that this is a classic Will Smith movie with the same great buddy cop dynamic as MIB.
Bad Boys II - Now I loved the original Bad Boys, but everything ridiculous and Michael Bay about the first one, was just exponentially more ridiculous and Michael Bay in the second. I hate Martin Lawrence, generally, but his film was just so great it made me forget how much I hate him and dialed i- EXPLOSIONS!!!
It Came from the 80s: Some things are just so... 80s. And on my list of favorites there's only one that needs mentioning...
Heavy Metal - I don't care what Bob Chipman said about this movie, it's damn entertaining. The soundtrack faeturing DEVO and Sammy Hagar's only good solo track, with some totally sweet sci-fi shit going over top. Plus: cartoon tits... hell yeah!
Over the Top: When action is done right it isn't just cool. It's absolutely ridiculous. Arnold movies are ridiculous in one way, but as "over the top" cheesy as they are, they don't define what "over the top" means in the context of action. These movies do:
Crank/Crank 2: High Voltage - Crank is a movie that did it all. Everything you want from an action with little explanation behind it. If ever something doesn't make sense instead of questioning it, hit yourself in the face and yell "CRAAAAAANKKK!!!", cause that's what this movie is: cranking it up to motherfucking 11!
Shoot-'Em-Up - Again, we have a movie that does pretty much anything you could want in a movie. You know how in Crank there's a scene where they just strip down and have sex in public? How about having sex and shooting people at the same time... and doing both REALLY well. Well this movies got it. How about killing people with carrots, thereby turning carrots into the most badass vegetable. Aw yeah. The fact that I started eating raw carrots on a regular basis after watching this movie should say something about how great it truly was.
So there's just a small touch of the kind of crap I love. I didn't even really touch on old school Jackie Chan films, which would have been another pretty big list. B-Movies are a great part of life and I have absolutely no idea how film snobs can write them off...
