Favorite Conspiracy Theories?

[Cpu46]

So about 30 minutes ago something really loud and big flew right above the main road through my college campus. I caught a glimpse of it but all I could really see were the lights on it. I am guessing that it was a helicopter due to the noise and the distance between the lights. In any case whatever it was it was flying low, my guess is somewhere around 30 feet but there is a ton of room for error there.

Now our ROTC program (Reserve Officers' Training Corps) sometimes gets helicopters out around here to give the recruits some experience riding them. But they are always during the day and never that low unless they are landing.

In any case it immediately got me thinking about the 'Black Helicopter' conspiracy theories and the theories related to them such as Aliens. So what is your favorite theory. I don't mean which theories you personally believe, while that could make things interesting it WILL get out of hand without a doubt, I mean to ask which ones you enjoy reading about in fake news/fiction or which ones you enjoy debating with those who do believe in them.

In my case I love reading about Alien theories, Black Helicopters, and the like. I also love "debating" the '______ was an inside job' theorists and the 'moon landing was a hoax' theorists.

 

[Lilani]

Oh, I know! I know! Chemtrails.

Oh chemtrails. Supposedly, the white cloud that trails behind supersonic jets that lingers in the sky for a while is actually the government spraying chemicals on us to...well do something. Likely suppress us somehow, with diseases, sensors, trackers, or gene-altering chemicals. Now I could sit here all night poking holes in this, but I'll keep the number down to 5 reasons this is BS so I can actually go to bed on time:

1. Those supersonic jets fly literally miles above the surface. There is no way they can be sure of where they are affecting. Turbulence that high up could carry the "chemicals" halfway around the earth before they ever get low enough in the atmosphere to actually affect life. Meaning the only way they can be absolutely sure they've covered everybody is if they try to achieve total saturation of all the air in the atmosphere, which is HILARIOUS considering how many thousands of cubic miles there are on this planet (and on a sidenote, if it is trackers they would also infect a whole bunch of animals along the way which would be a lot of fun sorting out on their end).

2. How do you keep important people from getting infected, like the President and all those scientists running this show? Or is there some magic antidote for this that is administered to important officials? That's sort of dumb, if there's an antidote then other people could steal it or figure it out and it would have been totally pointless.

3. If it is something involving genes or something long-term, what about future important officials? If we are really infected, then that means all future Presidents and scientists and important people are just as infected as we are because they've got no idea who is going to be President 50 years from now.

4. As with any conspiracy theory, we're talking about something that would take THOUSANDS of people to pull off. That's thousands of people who could just "accidentally" leak something, and we haven't heard a word of it. Really? REALLY? I mean even if they're executed they would still go down in history as the person who uncovered the biggest attempted genocide in world history.

5. Wouldn't it be a hell of a lot easier to taint something like the water, or medicine? It would be easier to administer, easier to control the area of affect, easier to control and manipulate the dosage, easier to study the affects, and overall a hell of a lot simpler and cheaper task than trying to infect every cubic foot of air in the breathable atmosphere. You'd think with all those scientists who are really good at keeping secrets SOMEBODY would have mentioned this.

 

[gigastrike]

My favorite:

The Large Hadron Collider was an attempt by the followers of Satan to burn a hole in the Earth's magnetosphere, creating a portal to Hell that would allow Satan to conquer the world. The Ancients knew this would happen (being beings of supreme omnipotence who can see thousands of years into the future and account for technology that didn't exist at the time), so they created structures across the planet in the form of pyramids. So, when the followers of Satan activate the Large Hadron Collider, all we have to do is take the mummy of an Egyptian pharaoh and place it in the lost "tomb of the builder". This will cause the pyramids to fire laser beams at the sky, buffing the magnetosphere and thwarting Satan's plans.

 

[FilipJPhry]

Well, this isn't exactly a conspiracy, but a myth: The chupacabra. I like the different takes on it from a crap-load of tv-shows and comics. My favorite one is probably the Simpsons Comics version:

Spoiler: El Chupacabra!

 

[Veylon]

My favorite is that all the important leaders are actually alien lizards in disguise.

 

[Esotera]

Probably the ones that turn out to be true, like the Murdoch empire basically owning all of British politics.

Also, GM crops being evil would be amusing if nobody actually believed it.

 

[chstens]

Probably the ones that turn out to be true, like the Murdoch empire basically owning all of British politics.

Also, GM crops being evil would be amusing if nobody actually believed it.

I didn't know General Motors did any farming, especially not EVIL farming. Oh well, I can't wait to see what the bakeries of the world will do with evil wheat.

 

[Esotera]

I didn't know General Motors did any farming, especially not EVIL farming. Oh well, I can't wait to see what the bakeries of the world will do with evil wheat.

Don't you know how a car works? They add flour, eggs, and sugar into the engine at the beginning, and the petrol heats the oven inside & bakes the cake.

 

[launchpadmcqwak]

the flat earth society is the most hilariously stupid group on earth

 

[bjj hero]

That Ronald Wilson Reagan was the devil. Each of his names has 6 letters. Think about it...

 

[lacktheknack]

My favorite:

The Large Hadron Collider was an attempt by the followers of Satan to burn a hole in the Earth's magnetosphere, creating a portal to Hell that would allow Satan to conquer the world. The Ancients knew this would happen (being beings of supreme omnipotence who can see thousands of years into the future and account for technology that didn't exist at the time), so they created structures across the planet in the form of pyramids. So, when the followers of Satan activate the Large Hadron Collider, all we have to do is take the mummy of an Egyptian pharaoh and place it in the lost "tomb of the builder". This will cause the pyramids to fire laser beams at the sky, buffing the magnetosphere and thwarting Satan's plans.

Please tell me you made that up.

Please.

OT: TimeCube. It states that religious leaders have conspired with scientists to block the public's knowledge of the Time Cube. To this day, I don't understand how Time Cube is supposed to work. Something about each day having four sides and the sun being a cube and we are all heathens for not embracing His Cubiness and THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO COVER THIS UP.

 

[Mr. Omega]

Look up any clip of Fox News complaining about "Liberal Hollywood" or the "Liberal Media", and you'll find platinum-encrusted diamonds of comedy there. Sure, it'll take a while for them to top "The Muppets are Socialist Propaganda", but sooner or later they'll out-stupid themselves.

edit: how could I forget TimeCube? I second TimeCube.

 

[Guffe]

That the Moon landing isn't real
Lizard people controlling the US presidents
Halo4 release date theory

My favorite 3

 

[Panorama]

My favorite is that all the important leaders are actually alien lizards in disguise.

and i thought i had imagined this, i'm not as mental as i thought i was. Yeah!!

 

[MrFalconfly]

Illuminati controls the world apparently.

Although if that turns out to be true I just want to know one thing. Where do I sign up?

I mean seriously if the conspiracy theories are anything to go by the Illuminati must be the single most competent organization on the globe (I mean even CIA or MI6 looks like a group of toddlers compared to what the Illuminati supposedly keeps secret).

 

[loc978]

Anything you can block with a tinfoil hat. I wish they all involved tinfoil hats. Those things are awesome...