Favorite Conspiracy theory

[LordLundar]

I'm going with the 9/11 truthers. It may have been on TV, but I know what I saw. There was no controlled detonation.

Yeah a personal favorite was the claim of a "super thermite" that was used to collapse the building. The truthers couldn't wrap their heads around the concept of an aluminum aircraft crashing into a building with an iron and steel superstructure and burning extremely hot couldn't replicate the effect of thermite, which is an aluminum and iron oxide mix burning at really hot temperatures.

The best part was when scientists actually tested the "super thermite" on a pillar that's the same design as the one in the towers. The result? The thermite mix added mass to the pillar.

 

[Jacco]

My favourite is david ike's, for several reasons, mainly because its so batshit insane but makes a lot of sense if you dont take it literally. For those unfamiliar, david ike believes the queen and world leaders such a george bush to be shapeshifting lizard aliens. I think it tells you a lot about politics and that, most politicians seem to be slimy, blowing in the wind of prevailing popular view and you could see them as lizard like in quite a few ways. Mostly self serving, like lizards, no disrespect to lizards but I doubt any lizard is thinking of the bigger picture, rather MUST SURVIVE, MUST CONSUME INSECTS, MUST COME OUT FIRST IN THE APPROVAL POLLS, MUST SURVIVE EVEN IF I HAVE TO FUCK OVER MY LIZARD BROTHERS.

Now I'm not going to jump on his wagon. But even though this theory seems to be the most crazy of them all, it does touch upon a big question.

Which is, if life has existed for so many millions of years, why did intelligence as we know it, only show up in homo sapiens after such a long time.

If you think about it, survival of the fittest, being smart is a huge asset. And the mutations to make a brain smarter, is much easier to imagine being perpetually introduced as opposed to for example evolution of wings.

So the question goes, why didn't intelligence show up as soon as it could. In dinosaurs for example. Smart lizards.

And so the conspiracy theory reaches back to the earliest forms of life, and imagine that they did actually become intelligent, somewhere in space/time whatever.

But it's a good question infact, why they didn't become intelligent. What in Darwins theory is preventing intelligence? It's only happened once, in man, and that's 150.000 years ago in a 65 million year long span. Which seems absurd.

You have an interesting point here. There may have been intelligence on par with ours several times throughout history, there's no real way we can know. However, all the intelligence in the world means nothing if you can't use it. Humans are the first species to have both intelligence and the ability to act on it. We have frames that facilitate building, thumbs for using tools, voices and mouths for effectively communicating.. the list goes on. So while Velociraptors may have been highly intelligent, they simply did not have the biology to put it to use.

Dolphins have intelligence on par with chimps-- about the level of a 5-6 year old child. But they will never build cities or have computers because they are built to swim and thus do not have the ability to construct things like buildings.

 

[Arrogancy]

Many of the Obama conspiracies are good for a laugh, especially at the expense of someone who actually believes them. I don't like the man, but really? Lizard alien? Bush Sr.'s illegitimate love-child? Communist? Somalian pirate?

There is one specifically that I find either amusing, or slightly irritating, depending on who I'm talking to at the time. Let's get something straight. Freemasons exist. The Illuminati don't. The two are not one in the same. No, it is not a secret that I am a Mason. To borrow a quote from a good friend and Brother of mine, "We are not a secret society. We are a society with secrets!"

Yes, as a Freemason, there are some things I can't tell people on the street. I can, however, promise that none of these involve plots to take over the world, treasure buried in my basement (or anyone else's basement, for that matter), plots to convert all the world to [insert religion here]; ooh, another good one, Masonry is not a religion. Yes, we are religious, that's not the same thing.

I am not rich. Certainly there are Masons that have done well for themselves, but that was through their own hard work. I am a student with a truck that currently insists on having a part or two replaced every ten miles.

Out of all of them, though, the insistence that the we're the Illuminati is the most wacky. I've even met people who believe, and cannot be convinced otherwise, that the Illuminati disbanded, only to *reform*, starting the Freemasons. Nevermind that they'd have to time travel about two thousand years to do that, but whatever.

Oh, and the Knights Templar ARE NOT A NINJA CLAN. He was serious, I shit you not.

This person is clearly lying. He's coming out as a Mason and "exposing" all the banalities of Freemasonry in an attempt to cover up for his true masters. The truth is that all conspiracy theories were calculated failures spread by the ACTUAL global conspiracy taking over the world right now as we speak! It's really...the Homosexual Agenda! Everything from the Lincoln assassination, the Challenger space shuttle disaster, and the Ice Age ending the dinosaurs have all been part of a long, calculated game which is coming to an end soon unless we band together to stop it!!!

 

[Xdeser2]

I personally love the conspiracy that the world is controlled through an immortal line of shape shifting Lizard people/reptilians from a different planet/dimension using satanic cults and rich people.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reptilians

Now I'm not one to shit all over peoples beliefs....But damn is it hilarious what some people believe

 

[Nimcha]

Perpetual motion is my favourite. The youtube videos of these guys proclaiming they've found the solution are absolutely hilarious.

 

[Saltyk]

Moon landing....

Seriously... I still don't believe that it happened....

show me a photo of the moon with THE flag on it to prove me wrong, but, I just don't believe it happened....

Yeah... no. We landed. Absolutely positive on that. There are several pictures of the flag on the moon. And by this time, if you saw it, it would be pure white anyway. You see, the moon lacks the protection of Earth and the dye in the flag would deteriorate quickly. Oh...

Favorite as in most believable? Probably the JFK assassination. As a frequent shooter, I do not believe that a single man with a bolt action rifle could have fired that many shots with that speed and accuracy at a moving target.

Favorite as in most believable? Probably the JFK assassination. As a frequent shooter, I do not believe that a single man with a bolt action rifle could have fired that many shots with that speed and accuracy at a moving target.

Besides that, when the shot that takes half his head off is fired he jerks towards the back of the car when according to where they say Oswald was the shot would have come from behind him meaning he would have slumped forward and the chunk of his head that came off would have landed in the driver's lap. Basic physics disproves the single shooter theory.

So, basically, you have no idea what you are talking about.

I swear that Penn and Teller made that episode for this exact thread. General rule of thumb: If you can describe it as a conspiracy theory, you are wrong.

To answer the question, none. I hate conspiracy theories. They are absolutely stupid, insulting, and disrespectful of events and people. The government is not behind the 9/11 attacks. We landed on the Moon. There are no lizard people controlling the world (seriously how the fuck is that one taken seriously!?). Aliens have not been controlling the world. The Mayans didn't know anything special about the end of the world. Oh, and we are not the result of alien experiments to create a hybrid species by combined their own DNA with Big Foot relatives so that we can be slave labor to mine gold to send back to their home world which passes Earth once every 2,000 years in order to use the gold to counteract the destruction of their ozone layer (yes, that one is also real).

 

[schrodinger]

Oh, and we are not the result of alien experiments to create a hybrid species by combined their own DNA with Big Foot relatives so that we can be slave labor to mine gold to send back to their home world which passes Earth once every 2,000 years in order to use the gold to counteract the destruction of their ozone layer (yes, that one is also real).

That is an oddly specific conspiracy theory. Surely there is an easier way to mine gold than having a primitive race mine it....

There's really only one answer. And only pictures can do it successfully.

Captcha: I saw that

I'm convinced his hair is actually an alien.

 

[Mersadeon]

The "vaccination causes autism!" theory, and that state and pharma companies aren't telling us because they are making a lot of money. I mean, sure, if only countries on the free-capitalism side would allow vaccinations, I could understand the doubts. But why do you think somewhat socialist nations with free or at least cheap healthcare vaccinate? The government in these countries spend incredible amounts of money to make these available to everyone - even though these apparently cause autism on a wide enough scale that it outweighs all the MILLIONS OF PEOPLE saved by vaccination. Seriously, it's almost as hilarious as the "fluor in the water is for mind control" - theory.

Apart from that, anything that has to do with freemasons. Have you actually read what those guys believed in? They are super friendly nice guys!

Also, I kinda wish all those "Illuminati/Freemasons/The Elders of Zion control the world" theories were true - I mean, really, you look at the world and you think "yeah, TOTALLY UNDER CONTROL, just as planned"? Come on! At least if these guys were right we would have someone to blame other than human nature.

EDIT: Also, the "Homosexual Agenda". Really, guys? What's next, the "Lefthander Agenda"? The "turned outside bellybutton Agenda"?

 

[DefunctTheory]

Favorite as in most believable? Probably the JFK assassination. As a frequent shooter, I do not believe that a single man with a bolt action rifle could have fired that many shots with that speed and accuracy at a moving target.

You need more practice if you don't think someone can get off 1 accurate and 2 near hit shots in 5 seconds.

Oh, and we are not the result of alien experiments to create a hybrid species by combined their own DNA with Big Foot relatives so that we can be slave labor to mine gold to send back to their home world which passes Earth once every 2,000 years in order to use the gold to counteract the destruction of their ozone layer (yes, that one is also real).

That is an oddly specific conspiracy theory. Surely there is an easier way to mine gold than having a primitive race mine it....

There's really only one answer. And only pictures can do it successfully.

Captcha: I saw that

I'm convinced his hair is actually an alien.

That is an intriguing theory... alien hair...

As for the gold theory... its quite frankly hilarious, and has so many flaws its almost comical people believe it. I also find it interesting that so many alien theories involve sex and cross-breeding.

Maybe these people would stop believing crazy stuff if they just hit the bars more often and met some women.

 

[Saltyk]

Oh, and we are not the result of alien experiments to create a hybrid species by combined their own DNA with Big Foot relatives so that we can be slave labor to mine gold to send back to their home world which passes Earth once every 2,000 years in order to use the gold to counteract the destruction of their ozone layer (yes, that one is also real).

That is an oddly specific conspiracy theory. Surely there is an easier way to mine gold than having a primitive race mine it....

Oh, you don't know the half of it. I summed that particular theory up to the bare bones. I saw a good hour and a half long video claiming that theory was the truth and explaining it and all the intricacies of said theory. It basically "explains everything".

To answer the question, none. I hate conspiracy theories. They are absolutely stupid, insulting, and disrespectful of events and people.

You know that there were conspiracy theories that were later considered as facts. Were people who believed them before been accepted stupid and disrespectful too?

Okay. Name one. Name one conspiracy theory that was later proven true. And then explain how that compares to say the Truther theories.

Like how the planes took off, but landed and unloaded all the passengers, who were working for the government anyway. They then shot a remote controlled replica of the planes, that didn't have windows and you can totally see that on the videos, out to hit the towers. You see, the terrorists were all working for the government, too. They never really controlled the planes. And to this day, all the passengers are secretly alive and living new lives.

Tell me how that one doesn't make a mockery of all the people who died that day. Of the families mourning their lost loved ones. How it doesn't disrespect the memories of those people who sacrificed their lives trying to save as many as they could. Tell me how it isn't the most insulting and offensive garbage a person could dare spew. Tell me it could be true.

 

[Ihateregistering1]

Pretty much anything involving the Illuminati. They have cool symbols and a cool name (therefore they get to run the world).

I know it's not really a "Conspiracy Theory", but pretty much anything that involved the Nazis using the Occult. I don't know why, I always just found that idea really cool.

My personal favorite is probably the "we cured cancer 30 years ago, but the evil pharmaceutical corporations won't release it". I know Corporations can be fairly immoral, but give me a friggin break.

 

[Bobic]

I find it funny because the Illuminati were . . . more importantly disbanded over two hundred years ago.

Why that's exactly what they'd want you to think . . .

OT: Well, David Ike's been taken so I'll go with this:

We're all living in the Matrix, the reason you all look at me with scorn at that is because the Machines created the Wachowski AI programs to create the Matrix series of films, thus making those who believe we live in The Matrix look ridiculous, like they don't know that films are fictional.

 

[Bobic]

Okay. Name one. Name one conspiracy theory that was later proven true. And then explain how that compares to say the Truther theories.

The conspiracy theory that the US Government was secretly reading all of our emails turned out to be true. . .

As for the truther thing, yeah, it's pretty disrespectful, but A. those people genuinely believe the government orchestrated it, they want them brought to justice for the very pain and suffering you mentioned, it's not a joke to the truthers and B. One douchey conspiracy doesn't instantly make all conspiracies stupid.

 

[DefunctTheory]

To answer the question, none. I hate conspiracy theories. They are absolutely stupid, insulting, and disrespectful of events and people.

You know that there were conspiracy theories that were later considered as facts. Were people who believed them before been accepted stupid and disrespectful too?

Okay. Name one. Name one conspiracy theory that was later proven true.

The Tonkin Incident.

As for comparing it to the Truther 'movement,' I don't see why that's necessary. You said you hate conspiracy theories, full stop.

Okay. Name one. Name one conspiracy theory that was later proven true. And then explain how that compares to say the Truther theories.

I'm not trying to prove or disprove anything. Some things are too fishy and badly explained and that's why there are conspiracy theories.

I don't need to name it, you can look for it yourself.

To be fair, that google search turns up a lot of conspiracy theories that have been 'proven' true that have, in fact, not been.

 

[Saltyk]

Okay. Name one. Name one conspiracy theory that was later proven true. And then explain how that compares to say the Truther theories.

The conspiracy theory that the US Government was secretly reading all of our emails turned out to be true. . .

As for the truther thing, yeah, it's pretty disrespectful, but A. those people genuinely believe the government orchestrated it, they want them brought to justice for the very pain and suffering you mentioned, it's not a joke to the truthers and B. One douchey conspiracy doesn't instantly make all conspiracies stupid.

We knew that. We gave them that power when we passed the Homeland Security Act and such. Acting surprised when they did it, doesn't really count. "If you give government power, they will use it."

Just because they believe something is true does not excuse it. And it's more than just one. Truthers. Aliens. Moon landing. JFK assassination. Lizard people. The list goes on.

To answer the question, none. I hate conspiracy theories. They are absolutely stupid, insulting, and disrespectful of events and people.

You know that there were conspiracy theories that were later considered as facts. Were people who believed them before been accepted stupid and disrespectful too?

Okay. Name one. Name one conspiracy theory that was later proven true.

The Tonkin Incident.

As for comparing it to the Truther 'movement,' I don't see why that's necessary. You said you hate conspiracy theories, full stop.

Okay. Name one. Name one conspiracy theory that was later proven true. And then explain how that compares to say the Truther theories.

I'm not trying to prove or disprove anything. Some things are too fishy and badly explained and that's why there are conspiracy theories.

I don't need to name it, you can look for it yourself.

To be fair, that google search turns up a lot of conspiracy theories that have been 'proven' true that have, in fact, not been.

Having looked up the incident you mentioned, it reads more like government overreaction and acting without clarifying all the details. Not a conspiracy. Just government being stupid and incompetent. Where have we heard that before..?

Also, yes, I was about to relent a bit, but one of the sites I looked at went from naming some good ones as being true to naming the JFK assassination and the New World Order as having been proven true. Which took that one down in my estimation a great deal.

And most of the good ones, if true, were less about the government controlling the world in the shadows and more about groups hiding from said government. Like the Mafia.

 

[Grottnikk]

The "New World Order" or "One World Government" theories are my favourite to laugh at. To think that any group of people comprised of diverse ethnic groups, political affiliations and social backgrounds could get along well enough to run the entire world is ridiculous. At heart they would be nothing more than politicians, and I don't trust any group of politicians to effectively govern a troupe of Girl Scouts much less an entire planet.

My favourite one to get angry at is Holocaust denial. Explain to me, Mr. Nazi, where the 6 million+ people went? They were there BEFORE the war. They had families, bank accounts, homes, insurance records, tax records. After the war they are gone. Perhaps you could reconcile this by combining your theory with the alien abduction/relocation conspiracy?

Anywho...

 

[Bobic]

Okay. Name one. Name one conspiracy theory that was later proven true. And then explain how that compares to say the Truther theories.

The conspiracy theory that the US Government was secretly reading all of our emails turned out to be true. . .

As for the truther thing, yeah, it's pretty disrespectful, but A. those people genuinely believe the government orchestrated it, they want them brought to justice for the very pain and suffering you mentioned, it's not a joke to the truthers and B. One douchey conspiracy doesn't instantly make all conspiracies stupid.

We knew that. We gave them that power when we passed the Homeland Security Act and such. Acting surprised when they did it, doesn't really count. "If you give government power, they will use it."

Just because they believe something is true does not excuse it. And it's more than just one. Truthers. Aliens. Moon landing. JFK assassination. Lizard people. The list goes on.

But them believing it kinda does excuse it, from their perspective they aren't being disrespectful, they care just as much as you about the people who lost their lives, they think the government did an abhorrent thing to those people and they want the perpetrators bought to justice.

Imagine a friend of yours was murdered, and you knew who did it, and wished to see them punished, would that be you disrespecting the murdered victim? Because that's how it is from their perspective.

It's not their fault their beliefs happen to be crazy. You don't choose to be crazy, craziness chooses you.