Favorite/Memorable NPC quotes!!

[ZeroMachine]

Pretty much any of the banter between Alistair and Morrigan in Dragon Age.

Personal Favorite:

Morrigan: So I take it you did not enjoy your templar training?
Alistair: That's directed at me, I take it?
Morrigan: Do you see any others about who have failed at their religious instruction?
Alistair: I didn't fail. I was recruited into the Grey Wardens.
Morrigan: And if you had not been recruited? What would have happened, instead?
Alistair: I would have turned into a drooling lunatic, slaughtered the grand cleric and run through the streets of Denerim in my small clothes, I guess.
Morrigan: Your self-awareness does you credit.
Alistair: I thought you'd like that.

 

[The Real Sandman]

Soldier of Fortune: Payback
Mason-"What the fuck are you doing? You were supposed to protect him!"
Miller-"No, you were."
Mason-"What do you..."
Miller-"Can't you guess? We're paid soldiers. I just got paid more to switch teams."

Earth Defence Force: 2017
Random Soldier-"LIKE THE TASTE OF MY BULLETS?!

Saints Row 2
Drunk-What button do I press to talk to the animals?
Person-"Uh sir, this is an elevator."
Drunk-"FUCK YOU!"

Drunk-"HO HO HO! What's your name little girl?"
Girl-"Chesty!"
Drunk-Here, Santa got you a bottle of Scotch."
Girl-But its empty.
Drunk-"FUCK YOU!"

 

[emeraldrafael]

I've actually started living by these two quotes:

"No one can escape time. It delivers us all to the same end." Pharos, Persona 3 Fes

"The number 0... empty, yet with Infinite Possibilities" Igor, Persona 3 Fes

 

[RuralGamer]

Owyn in Oblivion: I heard a rumour that you're an idiot, is there any truth to that?

An alternative to that is:

My grandmother could beat you and she's dead.

STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!

I always liked the "This is the part where you fall down and bleed to death!" one, especially if you kill the guard halfway through, lol.

Anyway, off the top of my head;
CoD4 -
*door starts opening murderously slowly*
Griggs: Oh you gotta be shitting me!
Price: Gaz can't make it open any faster?
Gaz: Negative, you can try pulling it if it'll make you feel better.
Price: Cheeky bastard.

 

[klasbo]

ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL (Harbinger, Mass Effect 2)
Funny every time.

Also, a cut-and-paste fan-made erotic showdown between two of the generals in C&C Generals Zero Hour. The original sounds are in the game, so it sort of counts? I make no excuse.

 

[Cybele]

Get Out of here stalker!

 

[TheEvilCheese]

Any tree can drop an apple,
I'll drop the Freakin' moon.
                                -Sho Minamimoto

 

[Citizen Snips]

You'll Make a Fine pair of Boots!

Imperial Guards are racist against their Argonian Overlords!

 

[LWS666]

STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!

I always liked the "This is the part where you fall down and bleed to death!" one, especially if you kill the guard halfway through, lol.

YOU MOVE LIKE A PREGNANT COW!

I'VE FOUGHT MUDCRABS MORE FEIRSOME THAN YOU!

 

[Anarchemitis]

"Go to Hell, and tell the Devil I'm coming for him next!"

 

[Agiel7]

A lot of the Relic games have some good ones:

From Company of Heroes:
Panther Panzer commander (when Anti-tank shells keep bouncing off the armour, it's funnier when you know WWII history): "Zey're scratching your paint-job, Helmut."

Machine-gun crew sergeant: "Then stop leading them so goddamn much!"

And from the Dawn of War games:
Stikk-bomma (an Ork unit that throws grenades *really* far): "Good t'go, boss! 'lready pull'd da pin!"

Commissar (when he gets into a Chimera transport): "Drive me closer! I want to hit them with my sword!"

In case you didn't catch the reference:

<IMG SRC=http://spankthetank.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/633495988526210130-drive-me-closer.jpg>

 

[Camaranth]

How has this not been said yet.

Knights of the Old Republic
HK-47: 2 percent chance he is just causing trouble and needs blasting. That may just be wishful thinking on my part.

Or something to that effect, I use this all the time

 

[MrJKapowey]

Just about anything that Veronica or Lily say in New Vegas...Pretty hilarious.
[Tells Veronica to keep a distance] "Yhey'll never see the haymakers coming!"
[Lily throws a plasma grenade] "Grandma's got a present for you,dearie!"

*ask Veronica a question*

'Well, when a man and a woman love each other very much...' Whoever wrote Veronica's lines is a genius.

Cass is good as well:

*when entering sneak mode*
'Shh! We're hunting shit-heads!'

 

[Erja_Perttu]

I've always loved this little gem from Final Fantasy:

Enough expository banter! Now we fight like men! And ladies! And ladies that dress like men! For Gilgamesh... IT'S MORPHING TIME!

Gets me every time.

 

[ToxicOranges]

Other than Resident Evils quality script, (That was close! You were almost a Jill-Sandwich), I think that this from Batman: Arkham Asylum.
Its roughly along the lines of...

Random Thug 1) Yeah, I don't see why gotta guard this tunnel anyhow. Why arnt we out there, fightin' Batman?
Random Thug 2) You do what Joker says. Joker says we guard the tunnel, we guard the tunnel. If he says go kill the bat, we kill the bat.
Random Thug 3) Yeah! Just like when Joker told me to kill my sister.
Random Thug 1) Did you do it?
Random Thug 3) Hell yeah! I never liked her anyway!

 

[Mr.Squishy]

Butt-kicking for goodness!