Favorite Zero Punctuation Quotes

[Renegade-pizza]

"Like a spider on the bottom of a milk glass, ends horribly"

 

[TheIronRuler]

"I'm not Gay".
Well said, Yahtzee.

 

[Strain42]

I'm paraphrasing but I loved

"If I was War and I just sliced a seven foot tall demon in half with one fell swoop, I wouldn't stand there brooding about it. I'd be like Holy Fucking Shit! Did anyone else see that!? I am squirting machismo out of my nipples here. I AM A MONSTER TRUCK THAT WALKS LIKE A MAN."

The last part of that line, coupled with his delivery of it is one of my favorite lines.

One of my favorite non-audio quotes is from DMC4 where the imp destroyed his train set and says "Train sets anger mighty godzilla."

 

[Alrocsmash]

"Clive Barker's Clive Barkers Jericho by Clive Barker"

"THERE IS NO MIDDLE FINGER BIG ENOUGH!"

"And it's fun! It's so unrealistic!"

 

[truncatd]

"What's that? You want a number? OK, how about FOUR! As in FOURK YOU!"
--Mailbag Showdown

 

[agent_orange420]

"I doubt i would find it easier to get around if i was six feet wide and constantly farting carbon monoxide - I dont know you mum does it"

SplitORSecond, whole episode is comedy genius

 

[TAHU]

"Dum dee dum, well this isn't very scary, Oh look physic's I can throw chairs around like a removal man who's completely stopped giving a shit. Doors suddenly opening in the wind, yawn-a-rama, guess I'll just look around up stairs then play some Halo Reach for a bit. Nope nothing much up here either, Ill just go back an- oh what was that thing I just glimpsed running down a hall way, I dont know but it looked cross about something, So i think Ill go down this other hall way instead. Oh its blocked guess Ill turn round WHERE DID YOU COME FROM!. AHHHH RUN RUN RUN I SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TO MESS UP YOUR CHAIRS UP. OH PISSING BLIMEY THERE'S JAM COMING OUT OF THE WALLS

 

[Geo Da Sponge]

""We lost contact!" went the character... BULL. FUCKING. SHIT. ("WHAT. ARBITRARY. SILLINESS."). All possible threats were dead! We didn't lose contact - I was looking at them - They were RIGHT. FUCKING. THERE! They were so close we could communicate by wriggling our eyebrows at each other! What the fuck happened when the stupid arbitrary time limit ran out!? Did their Battle Royale collars explode!? Did they lose honor and disembowel themselves? WHAT?! As the exasperated zoo keeper said to the last male panda-FUCK. THAT."

That one always makes me feel all warm and superior because the correct answer is "Actually the ship from which you're commanding got pulled inside a dyson sphere, thus stranding all of those troops on the surface that is both contaminated by the Flood and being rigorously purged by the ancient defence systems." Which when you think about is actually a pretty good explanation.

 

[bulldogftw]

"OH PISSING BLIMEY THERE'S JAM COMING OUT OF THE WALLS!"
Gets me everytime.

 

[CrazyGirl17]

"THERE IS NO MIDDLE FINGER BIG ENOUGH!"

"Bosoms, melons, milk factories, busts, funbags, knockers, ballistics, boobies, jugs, nipples, jubblies, stonking great tits!"

"Short answer: No. Long answer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."

"I AM A MONSTER TRUCK THAT WALKS LIKE A MAN!"

"On the whole, it's not as good as tonguing another man's balls... I mean, as it used to be... I'm not gay."

 

[SckizoBoy]

'Of course, Ninja Gaiden is for the hardcore of gamers, with emphasis on hhhhaaaaaaard... suggestive tone of voice: optional!'

This one, obviously...

'Being a highly respected and successful games critic... SHUT UP, I AM!!'

'Ooooooh, what the fuck are you doing here?! It's Christmas, haven't you got any family to resent?! This is my one week off, I'm going on holiday... that's summer holiday, I hope that northern hemisphere weather's working out for you!'

 

[LaughingAtlas]

"Wait a minute, the scientist has a beard! What did you do with the rest of the body, Insomniac!?"

And if it counts,
Narrator: "...Skyward, towards space."
Yahtzee: "As opposed to skyward towards the ground?"

 

[Finn Truman]

i don't remember the exact quote
"they are Pants on the Head retarded" or something like that

Where's that from?

 

[ReservoirAngel]

I can't remember what video it's from but there's a moment where he says something like "If you haven't been paying attention *claps* OI!"

I really need to find what episode that's from...

 

[Dangit2019]

"But as the disbelieving friend said to the inventor of the feces-powered helicopter, 'This shit will not fly!'"

L4D2 & NSMBW

 

[Brendan Stepladder]

"Bosses pale in comparison to warlock master of time and space, Rico Rodriguez."

Not even that funny, but it somehow is simultaneously hilarious and dead-on accurate at the same time.

 

[uhddh]

Most my favourites have been said. Oh well.

"I FOUND A PLOT HOLE! NURSE!"

This caused me to die laughing. I now use it when I find plot holes.

*Mentions only 20% of people finish a game* "Then ends with Gwen Stacy fisting Peter Parker..."

"It's all about the numbers. You use your numbers to find gear with better numbers so that your numbers are the biggest numbers and everyone comes from miles to see your numbers."

And Finally: "Oh... so you mean: This is the story all about how, my life got flipped turned upside down."

EDIT: Forgot this basic one: "Hang on. AM I PIMPING?"

 

[God'sFist]

the golden cock and balls from his minecraft review.

 

[Soviet Heavy]

The auteur game designer who would rather jam scissors in his eyes than take them to his beloved project.

(later in a speech bubble)

Jeez, it's like the designer had scissors in his eyes or something.