(MESSAGE FROM TRANSLATION COMPUTER: INCOMING MESSAGE EXTREMELY UNORTHODOX IN COMPOSITION.
TRANSLATION INCLUDES MANY LINGUAL BEST-FITS. FOR CLARITY, BEST-FITS ARE DENOTED BY ASTERISK PAIRS.
OVERALL ACCURACY OF TRANSLATION: UNKNOWN.
(MESSAGE BEGINS...)
"Who are you? What can you tell us about yourselves?"
Who are you? You are not Orz! We are Orz! Orz are happy *people energy* from the outside.
Inside is good. So much good that Orz will always *germinate*.
Can you come together with Orz for *parties*?
"Uh... hi there. Nice to see you again... I think."
That is *funny*. You think you *see* Orz but Orz are not *light reflections*.
Maybe you think Orz are *many bubbles* too. It is such a joke.
Orz are not *many bubbles* like *campers*. Orz are just Orz.
I am Orz. I am one with many *fingers*.
My *fingers* reach through into *heavy space* and you *see* *Orz bubbles*
but it is really *fingers*.
Maybe you do not even *smell*? That is sad.
*Smelling* *pretty colors* is the best *game*.
"Our charts show this as Androsynth space. Do you know what happened to them?"
Androsynth are not here. Orz are here.
You are not the same too much like Androsynth. You are *happy campers*.
Do you want to see our surprising toys*? No!! Do Not!!
Androsynth are so silly. We do not *tell stories* a lot about them.
No more Androsynth stories.
Spathi!
"We have Fwiffo on board. He can vouch for our good intentions!"
If you held a weapon to Fwiffo's head, he would say anything you wanted him to say.
In fact, if you held a vegetable to his head
he would probably say anything you wanted him to say.
"OK, I accept! Start packing your bags, eyeball dudes, you'll be home in no time."
We will await your return with great anticipation.
Simultaneously, we will prepare a short, poignant eulogy to mourn your demise.
"Because I am compassionate, you will not die until you have exhausted your usefulness."
My eternal gratitude is yours, oh devastator of helpless beings.
It's times like these that I am forced to feel almost, though not quite, sorry
that the Ur-Quan so thoroughly defeated and humiliated your species.
While we abhor violence, we have found that under circumstances like this
the best course of action is to attack suddenly with overwhelming force.
Like so.
Arilou!
Hello my clever child. We have met again and I am pleased.
Your people are so beautiful... so unspoiled.
Your instincts are like perfume... your motives a shimmering crystal.
Last night as you slept, I touched your face and you smiled!...
but now you frown. A pity. Smiling is healthier.
Umgah!
Well pop my pupae! It human Earthling again!
It just doesn't learn, does it? To Arms! To Arms!... wait a minute! Don't HAVE any arms!
AIEE!! MY ARMS!! WHO HAS STOLEN MY ARMS!!! AIEEE!! ARM THIEF!!!
Har! Har! Har!... Never HAD any arms! Har! Har! Har!
Look, we all decided that our treating you this way
and by that mean, attacking you without mercy all time
well, we decided that it just plain unfair.
REALLY, after all things you've done for our people!
So we decided to make you our honorary KING! Congratulations!
Braankk!!
What that sound, officer Flubbo? It was? You sure? King-Killing Horn?
Har! Har! Har! What a sad coincidence, eh, Captain King?
~Star Control 2: no longer just a great game chock-full of funny dialogue, now it's also freeware [http://sc2.sourceforge.net/]!
