Favourite quotes from all media

[repeating integers]

I? I AM A MONUMENT TO ALL YOUR SINS.[footnote] A collection of lies, that's all I am! Stolen thoughts and memories![/footnote]

The above quote, from Halo 2 (also mentioned in a different context in Halo 3) has been on my mind a lot recently, for reasons I find somewhat hard to identify. The series has a lot of similarly good quotes like that. It got me thinking about quotes in general - and a visit to the search bar revealed that the last similar thread was apparently made in 2010 (not counting the video-game specific ones, of which there are far too many), so I think the time is ripe for a new one.

So, dear Escapist, what are some of your favourite quotes from all media? Film, TV, game, book, music, fellow forumites, all sorts are allowed and encouraged. They can be funny, scary, philosophical, dumb - anything goes.

Either way you turn, I'll be there
Open up your skull, I'll be there
Climbing up the walls

 

[Total LOLige]

"If it bleeds we can kill it"

"Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!"

"Fuckin' Quintana... that creep can roll, man. "

 

[Jonluw]

If the goddess of luck turns her back on you, twist her neck.
- Michael (Ares)

 

[smearyllama]

"Well, boys, we may have lost all the treasure, but we still have each other."
-Scrooge McDuck from Ducktales 2.

 

[Scarim Coral]

"Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible ****... me."

-Brich Top from Snatch

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know My name is the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon thee. "

-Jules from Pulp Fiction

 

[DrRockor]

If your life had a face, I would punch it.
-Stephen Stills from Scott Pilgrim

I know how to take care of a guitar! I sleep with it and I dress it up!
-Yui from K-On!

The first one just describes how I feel about most people and the second one makes me giggle

 

[Popadoo]

'In a hole in the ground, there lived a Hobbit.'
And so begins the greatest fantasy series of all time. Such a simple line paves way for the rest of the adventures Middle Earth's denizens will experience...

 

[Jazoni89]

"You wouldn't even recognise a god damn vampire, even if one jumped up and bit you at the end of your fucking dick"

Benten - Cyber City Oedo 808

 

[n00dle37]

"Cool. Cool cool cool"
-Abed, Community

"I never liked crossbows. They take too long to reload!"
-Yoren, Game of Thrones

 

[saoirse13]

?Submit or die? What are you, French??
Crowley, Supernatural

"I suggest we imbibe copious quantities of alcohol... just wait for the inevitable blast wave."
Castiel, Supernatural

"I'm gonna need a hack-saw"
Jack Bauer, 24

 

[RustlessPotato]

"I heard that you can do what ever you want in International Waters, that's why I filled my jacuzzi with International Water." Samuel L Jackson

 

[Lovely Mixture]

"When I first stole into this chamber, centuries ago, I did not fathom the true power of knowledge. To know the future, Raziel... to see its paths and streams tracing out into the infinite... As a man, I could never have contained such forbidden truths... But each of us is so much more than we once were... Gazing out across the planes of possibility, do you not feel with all your soul how we have become like gods?"

-- Kain

 

[Vigilante 989]

If your life had a face, I would punch it.
-Stephen Stills from Scott Pilgrim

I know how to take care of a guitar! I sleep with it and I dress it up!
-Yui from K-On!

The first one just describes how I feel about most people and the second one makes me giggle

It's actually Kim Pine who says that.

 

[ThePS1Fan]

Eleventh Doctor: There's one thing you never put in a trap if you're smart. If you value your continued existence, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow there's one thing you never ever put in a trap...
Angel Bob: What's that, sir?
Eleventh Doctor: Me.

The Eleventh Doctor, Doctor Who

 

[Dags90]

"Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw."
-Heather Number One

"Dear diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count."
-Veronica.

 

[triggrhappy94]

Cookie if anyone can guess this one.

Spoiler: Mystery Quote

You're disqualified if you google any of this
Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. A normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop's heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow. But he won't know what to make of your blinker signal that says you are about to turn right. This is to let him know you're pulling off for a proper place to talk. It will take him a moment to realize that he's about to make a 180 degree turn at speed, but you will be ready for it. Brace for the g's, and fast heel-toe work.

I love to use the "brace for the g's and fast heel-toe work" line when I'm driving.

 

[UltraPic]

"Lets have a look at what this idiot did... in America"

Alan Partridge

 

[DrRockor]

If your life had a face, I would punch it.
-Stephen Stills from Scott Pilgrim

I know how to take care of a guitar! I sleep with it and I dress it up!
-Yui from K-On!

The first one just describes how I feel about most people and the second one makes me giggle

It's actually Kim Pine who says that.

Wait, your right. I was thinking "If your life had a face, I would punch it in the balls"