Feeling Depressed? Express yourself!

[Pink Gregory]

What is it with people? This constant need to declare 'I'm better than you, and you shouldn't exist' in every single possible instance and at every possible opportunity? Is this how it's supposed to be or what? or what? OR FUCKING WHAT?

That's what aggravates me today.

 

[Tom_green_day]

The girl of my dreams is seeing another guy, I'm failing all my subjects, I rarely see or talk to my real friends, I can't talk to females and you know the worse thing? Because of a trainee barber, one side of my hair is much shorter than the other. That just annoys me so much. Why would you even do that?

 

[excalipoor]

I was diagnosed with MDD some 4-ish years back, but since I'm a big tough guy who doesn't get depressed, I told them to fuck right off. Lately I've been wishing I didn't do that. I could still probably get therapy or something, but that would take a call to the doctor, and I just can't be bothered. I've been planning that phone call for over a year now.

And that's the root of my problem. I never do anything, and I hate myself for it. And then I do nothing about it. A vicious cycle, it is. I lost my friends and the love of my life to apathy. My academic "career" is in the shitter, and I can't get a job. Some days I wish I could go back 20 years to start over. I suppose I'm lucky I'm so shiftless, otherwise I'd have ended it in a dramatic fashion already.

Hey, that's me!

 

[demoman_chaos]

I am depressed due to some mental conditions I am afraid to have diagnosed because I don't trust medicines. I am afraid what mind altering chemicals will unleash. I have internal personalities that always bicker and give me conflicting thoughts, often resulting in full on arguments. One of said personalities is downright evil, inserting thoughts really nasty things like how easy it would be to kill grandma.

I am depressed because I am a closet bisexual who can't get a job and has nowhere to go to make friends around here. Those that I made in school are all gone, save for one I talk to occasionally over the phone. If it wasn't for the few friends I have online, I may not have kept myself alive. If I told my racist, bigoted dad about my sexuality odds are good I won't have a place to live.

I've been single pretty much my entire life, with the only people showing any interest in me being a few perverted fellows that like my ass (one being a former member of my platoon when I was in the military (which I failed to complete the training due to my childhood asthma which wasn't an issue until after I went down to BCT and hasn't been since coming back) who is Germany, and my step-brother). I've tried to get un-single, but all attempts were thwarted and got nowhere.

It doesn't help that I am living in an area that is entirely unlike me. I don't belong in this redneck hellhole of stupidly religious dumbasses that listen to every lie told by Fox Media and regurgitate it as some form of truth. Cowboys and wanna-be gangsta's plague this area, with intellectuals being as rare as a black member of the KKK.

 

[wulfy42]

I'm massively depressed. I have a job, a high standard of living, I have saftey, rights, and I live in a country that's not at war . I live in a country which offers free primary/secondary education and a cheap 3rd level education. I can vote for who I want to lead the country. I am so wealthy I can access luxury goods. The list just goes on.

Actually, quite often, the more you have, the more likely you are to be depressed. For some reason the human mind needs something to look forward to. Some form of goal etc. You can of course switch gears and make your goal helping others. That can certainly help fight off depression, but if your comfortable and don't need to worry/fight for your own basic needs/survival, that makes it more likely, not less, that you may become despondent and or depressed.

The urge to survive is hardwired into most creatures. Even though it makes no logical sense, people will suffer in agony for years, just for the chance to survive longer. Constant pain isn't enough to make most people give up...as long as they are struggling against something...trying to survive or live. Give a person everything they want though, no goals, nothing they need to work towards...and you increase how likely they are to not only become depressed but even kill themselves.

Boredom is deadly. Lack of goals or meaning is deadly. Too much time to think is often deadly as well.

Keep busy. Find things you want in life (good luck) and focus on them. Make them things that will take awhile and are hard to achieve. It's TRYING to achieve things that matters. Most time actually doing so is a let down, and then you need another new goal.

War is exiting in many ways.It's not fun. It's hard work with danger all the time, and you even get bored often, but you have goals. There are things that you have to pay attention to, and you don't feel safe. When your in danger of losing your life....it seems to mean more to you.

So many people who are depressed might actually be better off in a nation where they had no free education, that was at war and where they had to struggle to survive (just for food and water each day).

 

[wulfy42]

I have suffered with depression all of my life. The only solution for me many times was to literally give everything up, all of it, and start over from scratch. It wasn't an instant fix, but I would find myself without anything....and then eventually want more. That desire for more, would motivate me, and I would start building things up again. While not the healthiest solution to the problem, it kept me alive for my first 30 years or so.

At that point I got married though, and so, I can't just throw everything away anymore. I have responsibilities. Other people are affected by my actions. I have tried to focus on helping others as my goal to keep from becoming too depressed, but it can be very hard sometimes.

But for those of you who are depressed, make a change, do something different with your life. Put yourself in a situation where you are unsure of what is going on, what will happen next, and what you will need to do. Move to a new place, find a new job, do something that will stimulate your mind and make you curious about what will happen each day you wake up.

Take a chance. If you hate your life, or are just not happy with it, don't do the safe thing. Don't stay in a life just because it is secure/easy. If you put yourself out there, you will survive...and you will probably enjoy yourself while doing so much more. Even being homeless is better then living in a home where you have no desire to wake up each morning. Where you look forward to nothing each day. If you are homeless you HAVE to wake up each morning, you have to find food, water and shelter each night. You have to work harder to find entertainment etc. All of it is possible, but it's more effort, and.....appreciated more because of that.

As far as relationships etc, don't sweat em. Treat others well, and if they don't treat you the same way, don't associate with them. If someone you loves doesn't love you back, or doesn't treat you well, then keep loving them, but from a distance. Find someone else (there are plenty of other people looking for someone too) who will appreciate you.

Don't freaking have kids till your life is stable though, and you know you can raise them in a secure and loving environment. If you still don't feel like you are comfortable/happy with your life, don't bring another into this world. Having a child to give your life meaning....is about the most selfish thing anyone can do.

 

[sageoftruth]

I'm massively depressed. I have a job, a high standard of living, I have saftey, rights, and I live in a country that's not at war . I live in a country which offers free primary/secondary education and a cheap 3rd level education. I can vote for who I want to lead the country. I am so wealthy I can access luxury goods. The list just goes on.

Actually, quite often, the more you have, the more likely you are to be depressed. For some reason the human mind needs something to look forward to. Some form of goal etc. You can of course switch gears and make your goal helping others. That can certainly help fight off depression, but if your comfortable and don't need to worry/fight for your own basic needs/survival, that makes it more likely, not less, that you may become despondent and or depressed.

The urge to survive is hardwired into most creatures. Even though it makes no logical sense, people will suffer in agony for years, just for the chance to survive longer. Constant pain isn't enough to make most people give up...as long as they are struggling against something...trying to survive or live. Give a person everything they want though, no goals, nothing they need to work towards...and you increase how likely they are to not only become depressed but even kill themselves.

Boredom is deadly. Lack of goals or meaning is deadly. Too much time to think is often deadly as well.

Keep busy. Find things you want in life (good luck) and focus on them. Make them things that will take awhile and are hard to achieve. It's TRYING to achieve things that matters. Most time actually doing so is a let down, and then you need another new goal.

War is exiting in many ways.It's not fun. It's hard work with danger all the time, and you even get bored often, but you have goals. There are things that you have to pay attention to, and you don't feel safe. When your in danger of losing your life....it seems to mean more to you.

So many people who are depressed might actually be better off in a nation where they had no free education, that was at war and where they had to struggle to survive (just for food and water each day).

I remember reading about that once. There was some article that said how in a study in India, the moods of the poor were often more positive than the moods of the wealthy. Still, I'm on the fence about whether or not less depressed means better off when compared to living on the lowest rung of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. I imagine I'll never really know unless I somehow end up there.

 

[scorptatious]

Well, I don't have a job. (Although I have been asked to give swimming lessons to my mom's friend's son, so I guess that's something)

I have no idea what I want to do with my life.

I can never bring myself to confess or ask someone I really like out. Partly because I fear both rejection and the idea that I might enter a relationship and fail to live up to her standards.

My brother's a bit of an idiot to put it lightly, and I feel ashamed to be associated with him. He and I both have autism, with him having a more severe form of it. He would constantly ask dumb questions, he would act out in public whenever things weren't going his way. And the most annoying part, he doesn't learn from his mistakes, so no matter how many times he gets punished for his bad behavior, he keeps doing it again and again and again. I know he can't help the way he is but I can't help but absolutely despise him sometimes. Especially considering the stigma autism has attatched to it.

I feel inadequate around people who do seem to have their lives together. For example, one day, after I bought myself lunch at my school's cafeteria, I sat next to this one guy wearing professional looking clothes and a bluetooth. We talked for a bit. He asked me what my major is, I told him I didn't have one and I told him how long I have been in college, he responds:

"Well don't you think that's a bit of a problem?"

That question sorta felt like a punch in the stomach. Probably because he's right. I try to explain that I found it hard to find something I really want to do in my life, then he tells me that sometimes we just have to do stuff even if we don't want to, and how he has his own business.

I assume he was just trying to help me and give me advice, but to me, it felt like he was antagonizing me because I wasn't as succesful as he was. For the rest of the day, I couldn't shake what he said off of me and I sorta went down into a nervous breakdown while talking to my dad.

So yeah, that's me in a nutshell.

 

[Binkan]

Sufferiong from depression and have been depressed for quite some time still live at home and have a mother that had high hopes about me being some kinda doctor or something but kinda hard when your own mother is the one that keep saying things that get to you, most annoyingly when my mom refers to how much better it was if i was like other relatives that have high-paying jobs...

Had an inofficial diagnose to ADD if anyone knows what that is and it's annoying when my parents don't care to even read up on what it really is.

 

[Haukur Isleifsson]

I just realized that I forgot to hand in a sick note for a test I missed last Thursday. Now it's to late and I will have to take the course again next semester possibly delaying my BS degree by a year.

 

[Ilikemilkshake]

I've been planning that phone call for over a year now.

And that's the root of my problem. I never do anything, and I hate myself for it. And then I do nothing about it. A vicious cycle, it is. I lost my friends and the love of my life to apathy. My academic "career" is in the shitter, and I can't get a job. Some days I wish I could go back 20 years to start over.

Wow, this is almost word for word what I was going to say. Only difference is I'm 20, so going back 20 years would probably be a bit much... Maybe 2-3.

Yeah, It's definitely a vicious circle. I'm thinking to myself yeah, I've been meaning to make that phone call myself for a while now. Can't do it just now though, it's 9pm so the doctor won't be in the office or whatever, Suppose I'll do it tomorrow. Yet I know tomorrow will come and I won't be able to summon the willpower to make that call and another day will go by, wasted.

*sigh*

 

[NightmareExpress]

I live in a state of constant emotional...what would be the word...ah, inertia.
Oftentimes I have a grim outlook on all facets of existence. But occasionally I'll be happy because I find certain things fun, enjoyable and interesting. Then somebody ruins it and the cycle repeats.

The closest I can come to putting it as an analogy is building a complex miniature and basking in amazement just for someone to purposely crush it to pieces again the next moment. It's frustrating beyond comprehension and has cemented my view on happiness being moreso of a fleeting nature than a lasting one.

I also question whether or not I've ever truly had more than two friends in my entire life.
I've known and associated with a good many people, but I can't help but feel as though we'd criticize and throw each other under the bus when given the opportunity. My disposition appears to make me undesirable to many and very few would form a meaningful relationship with a fellow such as I.

But I would change very little about my life if I had the opportunity to go back and do some revisions.
This artist has learned a lot in their times of suffering and I doubt most truly great works were produced during times of elation.
I am truly an enigma of some sort and somewhat proud of it.

captcha: gold medal

 

[Combustion Kevin]

nearing the end of my eduecation course I've come to realise there isn't really any work in the field, unless I start my own company which I lack the funds for because I can't get a job.
actually, not really depression, I just get angry at myself.

 

[itsthesheppy]

Company acquired the business I work for. Told us they'd keep us all on. Lied. Laid off the entire office.

Now I heard they're gonna be hiking the rent.

Shit sucks.

 

[lacktheknack]

Well, I just found out that I haven't got cent to my name because I stress binged on food... so now I'm fat and broke.

And I can't land a job interview.

I'll feel better in a month.

 

[The Funslinger]

I go through bouts of depression that will last for a good while and it just sucks really.

I have no idea what I'm doing and everything just looks bleak to me.

I'm trying to fix things for the better and so far so good, but that stupid small voice of doubt likes to mock me the whole time. The treacherous bastard that it is.

I know the feeling, though I've got the hang of compartmentalization and all that jazz. All in all, I've taken steps that work for me, at least, and I'm doing much better.

On the now blessedly rarer occasions I am like that, I should probably stay off Facebook, though I never do. It makes me annoyed because everyone seems to be having a much funner time than me.

I think joining the gym is also helping me because walking out of there after a good hour torturing my muscles gives me a sense of accomplishment. Reciprocal Inhibition. Look it up.

Although everyone's different, I'm well aware.

 

[EeveeElectro]

Mainly money worries at the minute. Never having enough money to pay off bills and not seeing my boyfriend as much as I'd like this week because of work who are really screwing me over right now. I'd be endlessly happy if I lived with him but neither of us have much money at the minute. Hopefully we are in the next few months.
Sunday was a very shitty day, every **** seemed to want to have something against me.
It seems like it's all coming at once and it's hard to cope with. The only good thing is I've learned to just laugh at those silly overgrown children who like to give me crap because they fail at life and won't amount to anything.

Like I say many times, I'm only one more bad day away from becoming a Batman villain ;D

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

I go through bouts of depression that will last for a good while and it just sucks really.

I have no idea what I'm doing and everything just looks bleak to me.

I'm trying to fix things for the better and so far so good, but that stupid small voice of doubt likes to mock me the whole time. The treacherous bastard that it is.

I know the feeling, though I've got the hang of compartmentalization and all that jazz. All in all, I've taken steps that work for me, at least, and I'm doing much better.

On the now blessedly rarer occasions I am like that, I should probably stay off Facebook, though I never do. It makes me annoyed because everyone seems to be having a much funner time than me.

I think joining the gym is also helping me because walking out of there after a good hour torturing my muscles gives me a sense of accomplishment. Reciprocal Inhibition. Look it up.

Although everyone's different, I'm well aware.

Yeah working out is doing wonders for me and have given me a nicer and healthier look on life. But that doesn't mean it's rainbows and sunshine all the time, and compartmentalizing things have worked for me thus far. Although, there are times were the 'no good thoughts allowed train' likes to come and ruin things for me, but those are rarer occurrences now, thank God.

 

[Oly J]

I was born with Cerebal Paulsey so I learned pretty quickly that life wasn't going to give me everything I wanted. also. infuriatingly, despite knowing the material, I did inexplicably badly in my exams at school, I went to college and got a BTEC National Diploma, I was hoping to further it into a degree, only to find that, because a decade ago my mother got greedy and bought too big a house, (this was before the whole economy crash thing) she needs the money she gets for me living there, (DLA and such) to keep it, which means I can't move out, which means more likely than not, no university for me, granted I was only studying performing arts but it still sucks, I also can't have a rational discussion with my mother or her S.O on the matter, as for my dad, I only see him a few times a year and I can't bring myself to call him becaue I can never think of a thing to say, (most likely due to my pathetically low self-esteem) arguing with my mother is like arguing with a 10 year-old on the internet, I love her and everything but she's a moron and that frustrates me to no end, I am perpetually angry with no way to express it, I have a close circle of friends but at times even they grate me, (not their fault of course, I'm just prone to occasional crankiness) they wouldn't know it, as if there is one thing any of this has taught me it is patience, and the worst thing is these are the problems I am having at 22 years old and I see no attainable way out of them. ao I'm kinda depressed, mostly angry, but also depressed

 

[Necrodin]

I live an incredible, privileged life, surrounded by plenty of people who love and care about me. I wont give the specifics, because even though I've had some troubles, I've read 10 posts already that make me seem like a baby. However, I was recently diagnosed with severe ADD, and PTSD, and was prescribed 30 mg of Adderall daily.

I say this because my life really started getting better, and I had hope that I may actually become someone who finishes what he starts, and does what he says hes going to do. The problem is I'm starting to get heart palpitations from the adderall. Some days it's really bad, and some days not so much. I fear though, that if I don't stop taking the drugs it's going to end up killing me, but I'm more afraid of feeling the way I felt before I started using.

I know I should tell my doctor about my new found heart problem, but my idiotic selfishness has thus far decided that I'd rather keep it a secret; I just hope It doesn't become my undoing.


Thanks for the thread OP, it was quite therapeutic.