FIFA president wants penalty shoot out alternative

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The Artificially Prolonged

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Today FIFA president Sepp Blatter has said that he wants to see a new system in the event of a draw in a match, following the recent penalty shootout that won Chelsea the Champions League. Stating as follows;

"Football can be a tragedy when you go to penalty kicks," Blatter said.
"Football should not go to one to one. When it goes to penalty kicks football loses its essence."

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/18205513

He is even getting honorary president of Bayern Munich Franz Beckenbauer to come with this alternative. Yes the president of the team who just lost a cup final to penalties, seems legit. I imagine the British papers are going to be frothing at mouth like rabbid dogs over this but anyway I'm sure most here on The Escapists don't care about the internal politics of football, so instead let's hear your ideas. What should the traditional penalty shoot out be replaced with? Be as sensible or as silly as you like, the important part is that you think outside the box.

I personally I think there is only one other alternative that shows a players skill and mental fortitude. I'm of course talking about Crossbar Challenge. Each team lines up on the half way line and takes it in turns to try and hit the crossbar. The team with who hits the crossbar the most or at all wins. However I say don't just get the 11 players on the pitch to try, get all the subs, coaches, physios and manager to have a go too. The tension of the penalty shootout will be replaced with absolute hilarity


captcha: round robin

How eerily appropriate captcha
 

The Artificially Prolonged

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Hazy992 said:
Why don't they just use the golden goal?
I don't know, I think that system fell out favour after some problems with dubious goals scored in the korean world cup which instantly won the game for the other team. But next goal wins would work well enough if the rule was the game kept going until someone scored instead the normal 30 minutes extra time I think.
 

Hazy992

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The Artificially Prolonged said:
Hazy992 said:
Why don't they just use the golden goal?
I don't know, I think that system fell out favour after some problems with dubious goals scored in the korean world cup which instantly won the game for the other team. But next goal wins would work well enough if the rule was the game kept going until someone scored instead the normal 30 minutes extra time I think.
Yeah that sounds like a better idea actually. It's probably the most viable alternative to penalties.
 

G Vakarian

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sudden death overtime works well enough. I happen to agree that 1v1 matchups really don't work with the... spirit of football, at least so far as I understand the game.
 

Zhukov

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Dec 29, 2009
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They should do that Columbian thing.

You get one person from each team. They take hold of each end of an eight-inch piece of rope with their left hands. In their right hands they each have a machete.

First one to let go of the rope loses.
 

Hero in a half shell

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WHAT? Change the sacred penalty shoot? SACRILEGE!

The problem with golden goal is someone has to score for it to end, and... what if no one scores? We get that problem with men's tennis where the game has, in an extreme case, went on for eleven hours [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/tennis/wimbledon/7852253/Wimbledons-longest-match-John-Isner-victorious-as-marathon-match-finally-ends.html].

Penalty kicks are fine, we've used them for ages and they can quickly and decisively find a winner using the most exciting part of football: The bit where a bloke hoofs the ball at the net.
I mean, what alternative is there? Get all 22 men, cram them into a small 10 meter square, stuff bibs down their shorts and get them to pull each others bibs out. Last man standing wins!
 

Total LOLige

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Sepp Blatter is such a wanker. He wants to take away penalty shootouts and not use goal line technology. I suppose an alternative to penalty shootouts would work in england's favour, that's something FIFA never do.
 

The Artificially Prolonged

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iBagel said:
They should have a game of dodge-ball using only their feet. The teams would be 5v5 on either half of the centre circle. Last man standing.
Haha I like this idea.

Zhukov said:
They should do that Columbian thing.

You get one person from each team. They take hold of each end of an eight-inch piece of rope with their left hands. In their right hands they each have a machete.

First one to let go of the rope loses.
Well least footballers would have reason to roll around agony :D
 

smithy_2045

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Unless you're playing in an indoors stadium, golden goal is potentially unfair due to weather conditions, especially wind.
 

The Artificially Prolonged

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smithy_2045 said:
Unless you're playing in an indoors stadium, golden goal is potentially unfair due to weather conditions, especially wind.
True but that way all goals scored could be arguably called unfair. Football is an outdoor so weather conditions are part and parcel with the game. Also if weather conditions where too extreme the game would be postponed to a later date.

SmashLovesTitanQuest said:
The Artificially Prolonged said:
He is even getting honorary president of Bayern Munich Franz Beckenbauer to come with this alternative. Yes the president of the team who just lost a cup final to penalties, seems legit.
What does that have to do with anything? Bayern have already lost. They won't magically get the CL cup if Beckenbauer comes up with an alternative. Just on a side note; the guy won the world cup as a player, as a coach and he pretty much organized the 2006 WC in it's entirety. He knows a thing or two about football.
I'm not questioning Beckenbauer's knowledge, he was a fantastic player who's insights on anything football related are worth hearing out. However I was commenting on the funny coincidence that he was chosen given recent circumstances involving the team he represents which might bias his insights towards penalties, when a third party would have been better. That is all I'm commenting really I was not alluding that it is a conspiracy to snatch the cl retroactivly from chelsea.
 

Launcelot111

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I think they should do penalties like hockey, where you have to start from center ice and skate at the goalie before shooting. I want to see everyone charging as hard as possible from midfield and kicking the ball as hard as they can at the goalie mid-sprint. This would probably be slanted against the goalie, but I really don't care because it would be entertaining
 
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ToTaL LoLiGe said:
Sepp Blatter is such a wanker. He wants to take away penalty shootouts and not use goal line technology. I suppose an alternative to penalty shootouts would work in england's favour, that's something FIFA never do.
You had to expect he would have something to say if an English team were to win the title. He's done a lousey job of hiding his dislike up to this point.

Penalties work very well, in my opinion. They require skill and guts and are definitely good for drama and entertainment value.
 

Total LOLige

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Sexual Harassment Panda said:
ToTaL LoLiGe said:
Sepp Blatter is such a wanker. He wants to take away penalty shootouts and not use goal line technology. I suppose an alternative to penalty shootouts would work in england's favour, that's something FIFA never do.
You had to expect he would have something to say if an English team were to win the title. He's done a lousey job of hiding his dislike up to this point.

Penalties work very well, in my opinion. They require skill and guts and are definitely good for drama and entertainment value.
When watching a game as a neutral I'd rather a penalty shootout than a team nicking it in the last minute of extra time. But when my team are playing I don't mind them nicking it in the last minute. I can't think of any alternatives to the old penalty shootout. And legend says that Schwenstiger is still crying.

Whenever my Sunderland score in the last minute I do the Zenden dance. Whenever someone gets an epic win on the escapist they get a Zenden dancing gif that's an offical rule now.
 

Spoonius

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What a tosser...

I'd suggest indefinite extra time, with an additional ball added every ten minutes. :D

No subs and no yellow cards (straight to red).
 

tippy2k2

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I was always a fan of two halves of OT (Silver Goal) and if it's not settled, Shootout with one mild change...

Move the PK spot to the top of the eighteen. At the spot it's currently at, the goalie basically has to just guess and dive and hope it works out. If you back it up a bit, it's going to force the shooter to either put more power into it (making a miss more likely) or chance it and hope the goalie doesn't react quick enough.