First Date Advice

[azraelthor]

I have a date planned for a girl that I plan on asking out and I was wondering what people thought of it.

I plan to take her to see a movie or two. (Two because I am going to attempt to get her to "sneak" into a second one. It won't really be sneaking I plan to buy tickets for the second movie and just not tell her unless she is really against sneaking in.) After that I plan to take her for an evening picnic with the possibility of fireworks.

So what do people think? Extremely lame?

 

[Chasing-The-Light]

Sounds fine to me. Maybe a bit excessive for just the /first/ date. But then again it might also really wow her and she'll be really into you, knowing you can set that sort of thing up. ^^ Though, i don't know about the whole 'sneaking into a second one' thing. She might be a little offset by that. Unless she's into that sort of thing. I don't know. You know your girl better than I.

 

[azraelthor]

Sounds fine to me. Maybe a bit excessive for just the /first/ date. But then again it might also really wow her and she'll be really into you, knowing you can set that sort of thing up. ^^ Though, i don't know about the whole 'sneaking into a second one' thing. She might be a little offset by that. Unless she's into that sort of thing. I don't know. You know your girl better than I.

It's not something that she's ever done before or would normally do, hell I've never done it before, but I tease her for it all the time so I figured I would atleast try

 

[Pyrofirestrike]

Probably one movie for the night would be good. Take it from a girl, we'd rather talk and get to know each other better than be stuck in a dark theater for a few hours and not be able to do much of anything. The picnic idea is good. Save the 'sneaking' into the theater for the second date.
And if she's a gamer, I'm sure she would much rather play some sort of multiplayer with you at some point.

 

[Zorak the Mantis]

That's a long first date IMO. My advice is to do something fun where you can talk to each other and get know one another.

 

[Totec]

I always do coffee/tea for a first date. It's a low pressure situation, and it gives her the chance to talk about herself. Movies are good, but you can't really talk in them.

All you have to do is ask her about movies, music, food, tv-shows, games, or some drama, and she will do most of the talking. It's a pretty easy way to get the feel for someone.

Good luck, and more importantly have fun!

 

[Griffolion]

I always do coffee/tea for a first date. It's a low pressure situation, and it gives her the chance to talk about herself. Movies are good, but you can't really talk in them.

All you have to do is ask her about movies, music, food, tv-shows, games, or some drama, and she will do most of the talking. It's a pretty easy way to get the feel for someone.

Good luck, and more importantly have fun!

I agree with this. A coffee date is a very relaxed and open environment that places more emphasis on just getting to know each other rather than any form of intimacy.

Other than that, just be yourself and be receptive to her. Show interest in her and be engaging.

 

[jobu59749]

The context that we are missing here...how long have you known this girl? If you just met her, feel like there was a possible spark of interest, and that's why your asking her out...I would say your plan is a bit excessive. You have to remember, women (no offense to any female forum members), tend to read something into everything.

Classic dinner and a movie is great, now if your going for trying to get into her pants...that's another ball game that I won't even consider delving into. Fireworks and a picnic may suggest that you're looking at this from either A) I'm really serious and want us to have an ongoing relationship right away, B) I want to impress you so you'll touch my penis, or C) I'm a creeper that's trying way to hard.

I'm big on the following: Keep it simple. A lot of dude's think it's lame, but one movie, some nice dinner either before or after the movie, take her home...maybe you get to first base...maybe not. If things seem to have gone well, give her a call and see if she'd like to go out again. Increase the romanticism of the date just slightly with something different each time.

Now, all of this means nothing....if you've known this girl for a while, know a lot about her, etc. For that, i'm inexperienced.

 

[azraelthor]

The context that we are missing here...how long have you known this girl? If you just met her, feel like there was a possible spark of interest, and that's why your asking her out...I would say your plan is a bit excessive. You have to remember, women (no offense to any female forum members), tend to read something into everything.

Classic dinner and a movie is great, now if your going for trying to get into her pants...that's another ball game that I won't even consider delving into. Fireworks and a picnic may suggest that you're looking at this from either A) I'm really serious and want us to have an ongoing relationship right away, B) I want to impress you so you'll touch my penis, or C) I'm a creeper that's trying way to hard.

I'm big on the following: Keep it simple. A lot of dude's think it's lame, but one movie, some nice dinner either before or after the movie, take her home...maybe you get to first base...maybe not. If things seem to have gone well, give her a call and see if she'd like to go out again. Increase the romanticism of the date just slightly with something different each time.

Now, all of this means nothing....if you've known this girl for a while, know a lot about her, etc. For that, i'm inexperienced.

Yeah I've known here for a little while, we've hung out as friends, hell she's seen me drunk on more then one occasion

 

[azraelthor]

Probably one movie for the night would be good. Take it from a girl, we'd rather talk and get to know each other better than be stuck in a dark theater for a few hours and not be able to do much of anything. The picnic idea is good. Save the 'sneaking' into the theater for the second date.
And if she's a gamer, I'm sure she would much rather play some sort of multiplayer with you at some point.

Got it, rethink my plan. I'll figure something out

 

[Speakercone]

Not sure where you are. Rules for dating in the US are probably different than here in the UK. Here it's customary to go out for supper somewhere reasonably inexpensive. You don't want to come off as too try-hard.

 

[azraelthor]

I always do coffee/tea for a first date. It's a low pressure situation, and it gives her the chance to talk about herself. Movies are good, but you can't really talk in them.

All you have to do is ask her about movies, music, food, tv-shows, games, or some drama, and she will do most of the talking. It's a pretty easy way to get the feel for someone.

Good luck, and more importantly have fun!

Taking a girl to DD seems kinda....cheesey i guess is the word I am looking for

Not sure where you are. Rules for dating in the US are probably different than here in the UK. Here it's customary to go out for supper somewhere reasonably inexpensive. You don't want to come off as too try-hard.

That makes sense I will tone it down, thanks

 

[Totec]

Taking a girl to DD seems kinda....cheesey i guess is the word I am looking for

Haha! Yeah I would agree with that DD might not be the right place, but some place like Starbucks, or something similar to Kaleisia Tea Lounge might be something you could consider.

 

[lettucethesallad]

Movies are bad for early dates in my book - when getting to know the person you're seeing I find that conversation is really important. It's during conversations that you find out if you have chemistry with your date, and also gives you a chance to share interests and values and gives you a chance to know if you really like your date beyond what meets the eyes. I'd go with what has been said earlier and take her out for coffee or something. It's casual enough to not scare anyone away (not to imply that you're scary or weird, but putting too much of an effort into a first date can seem a bit... desperate), while still giving you a chance to get to know your date on a more personal level. The picnic idea isn't bad either, but scrap the fireworks if you're buying and firing them - it's too much. If it's a public fireworks display, sweet.

Also I'd advice against the sneaking thing. It looks cheap.

Best of luck!

 

[azraelthor]

Movies are bad for early dates in my book - when getting to know the person you're seeing I find that conversation is really important. It's during conversations that you find out if you have chemistry with your date, and also gives you a chance to share interests and values and gives you a chance to know if you really like your date beyond what meets the eyes. I'd go with what has been said earlier and take her out for coffee or something. It's casual enough to not scare anyone away (not to imply that you're scary or weird, but putting too much of an effort into a first date can seem a bit... desperate), while still giving you a chance to get to know your date on a more personal level. The picnic idea isn't bad either, but scrap the fireworks if you're buying and firing them - it's too much. If it's a public fireworks display, sweet.

Also I'd advice against the sneaking thing. It looks cheap.

Best of luck!

It would be public fireworks, me with fireworks is a bad idea. Also I know her decently well and have (along with a friend) tried to encourage her to sneak into a movie on several occasions, and I would never actually force her to do it, just make the suggustion then prode a little bit then give up.

 

[SmartyShorts]

I have a date planned for a girl that I plan on asking out and I was wondering what people thought of it.

I plan to take her to see a movie or two. (Two because I am going to attempt to get her to "sneak" into a second one. It won't really be sneaking I plan to buy tickets for the second movie and just not tell her unless she is really against sneaking in.) After that I plan to take her for an evening picnic with the possibility of fireworks.

So what do people think? Extremely lame?

It really depends on how well you know her. If you were decent acquaintances (as in you knew each other for at least a year but never actually hung out together) then it may be better to do something where you can get to know her better. Girls love it when guys talk to them. I spent 2 years barely knowing my current boyfriend and when we started going out he immediately confessed that he had a crush on me since we met in history class in high school. Obviously it's a first date, so don't say anything too personal that you wouldn't want her to know, but the minute you initiate conversation you may find out that you have a lot in common.

 

[Avistew]

I'd say go to only one movie, then that gives you more time to talk about it. Movies are good for holding hands and things like that, but for a first date you kind of want to get to know each other and talk, etc.
Still, starting with the movie gives you something to start talking about so it can be good, but two of them could take your whole afternoon/evening and then most of the memories would have nothing to do with you since you just happened to be next to each other while watching the same thing.

 

[LiraelG]

Whatever you do, make sure you talk. A lot of people have already said this, but I want to reinforce it. Conversations are essential to a good and meaningful relationship, so you'd be laying down the best foundations. Talking to her is also how you will generate a spark! Talk about something you're passionate about! But first, ask her what she is passionate about and show an interest in it. You could ask her to show you this passion on the third date! (Unless she seems very keen, keep the second low key too).

 

[Evidencebased]

...

It would be public fireworks, me with fireworks is a bad idea. Also I know her decently well and have (along with a friend) tried to encourage her to sneak into a movie on several occasions, and I would never actually force her to do it, just make the suggustion then prode a little bit then give up.

I don't think a movie is a terrible idea, but 2 is too many -- I'd save the sneaking in thing for later; if it's a bit of an inside joke with you two that's cute, but still not really first date material. I think the first date can be a little on the conservative side (not super long, not super expensive, not pushing anyone's comfort levels and/or breaking laws... .)

Fireworks might not be bad, but I wouldn't recommend staying out really late; if I went on a first date that took up half my day I'd be tired and grumpy at the end of it. Maybe just play it by ear on how you guys are doing energy-wise/conversation-wise and ask her if she wants to do fireworks before making that a definite part of your plan.

I think you'll do well!