Fluga reviews Mario Kart Wii

[Fluga]

Mario Kart Wii is the newest entry into the console games generation from the awesome Double Dash. However, Mario Kart Wii would rather grinds my gears than give me a good gaming experience.

As you all know, Mario Kart is known for its rather random nature of giving you items. Super Mario Kart, FINE. Mario Kart 64, AWESOME. Mario Kart Double Dash, MOST BALANCED ITEM RANDOMIZER EVER. Mario Kart Wii, OH MY GOD I HOPE I DON'T GET HIT WITH THAT SHELL OR LIGHTNING. Mario Kart Wii would rather reward the player for simply grabbing a box and a red shell rather than just giving them three mushrooms to give the losing player a boost. It is this level of randomness that certain players cannot stand Mario Kart Wii and for good reason.

Imagine you were about to win on Rainbow Road, the hardest course in the game, when all of a sudden a Blue Shell comes and knocks you off the course as you were making that turn into victory lane. You end up finishing eighth or seventh depending on who you are playing, and this isn't confined to offline either. The regional and worldwide areas are also this random with no way to adjust item frequency so that it doesn't completely screw you over like a fish in a bowl with only its water dish half full.

The single player modes are kind of a joke when you learn the tricks of the trade and unlocking character and stages becomes piss easy when you learn these tricks as well. Before however, its a daunting task. Useless changes to gameplay include changing the booster and I have no idea why this is. Its like changing a persons beer with a coke for no reason without them looking. YOU JUST DON'T DO IT. Bikes are a useless addition which turn "Mario Kart Wii" into "Mario Bike Wii" because the bikes are just plain better than what the karts will forever will be. Drifting, a new feature in this game, is piss easy to do on the bikes, especially with the light characters and the bikes the offer.

Too many things go right or wrong in Mario Kart Wii. If they can include and ingame option for random frequency then why not the online? Why does the Versus mode suck so much now, I can't hit a damn thing anymore. Why did you NOT include the Nintendo 64 Rainbow Road? That Rainbow Road kicks this Rainbow Roads ass on so many levels. Why is the wheel about as useful as my Christmas tree ornament at Christmas time? The thing is so awkward to use its like driving drunk only you didn't drink at all.

I do give props for Nintendo bringing back classic stages like SNES Ghost Valley 2 and the N64 Bowser's Castle. Thats all I can really think of in terms of praise, because there isn't much to be had.

Mario Kart Wii is at best a rental for a night of strip racing for all your hot girlfriends with vodka.

 

[neostronghold]

I'll be honest i can't help but feel like you have a bit of a grudge against this game . I also feel like you maybe haven't spent loads of time on it or some of the other mario kart games. For example you claim that the drifting is a new feature, when this is at least the third mario kart game it has been in.
It does feel like a very opinionated review with not much emphesis on actually reviewing the game. It feels like a bit of a rant you might go on if you've just stopped playing it cos you got a bit frustrated. I admit that it is annoying to be hit by a blue shell right on the finish line but that is hardly a brand new occurance in the mario kart series. I do disagree with you with regards to the item selection process, it seems as fair as it always was. If this was meant to be a proper review and if you do think that double dash was the best in the series i would have mentioned that mario kart wii suffers a bit from the lack of character-specific items present in double dash.
Another thing i think you need to remember is that it is customary in mario kart games to do a new version of rainbow road in every new game, which does explain why they didn't put N64 rainbow road in the game.
I would suggest that if you do want to review games i would try and take a more level headed, objective approach to it rather than ranting.

 

[ShadeOfRed]

I agree. I made it to 150cc in Single Player and decided to not play it again. Really, what other Mario Kart game can you get hit by a Blue Shell, Lightning and then a Red Shell in that order? NONE.

I admit that it is annoying to be hit by a blue shell right on the finish line but that is hardly a brand new occurance in the mario kart series.

Except it happened maybe once or twice in an hour when playing the old ones, not EVERY TIME.

 

[Fluga]

I'll be honest i can't help but feel like you have a bit of a grudge against this game . I also feel like you maybe haven't spent loads of time on it or some of the other mario kart games. For example you claim that the drifting is a new feature, when this is at least the third mario kart game it has been in.
It does feel like a very opinionated review with not much emphesis on actually reviewing the game. It feels like a bit of a rant you might go on if you've just stopped playing it cos you got a bit frustrated. I admit that it is annoying to be hit by a blue shell right on the finish line but that is hardly a brand new occurance in the mario kart series. I do disagree with you with regards to the item selection process, it seems as fair as it always was. If this was meant to be a proper review and if you do think that double dash was the best in the series i would have mentioned that mario kart wii suffers a bit from the lack of character-specific items present in double dash.
Another thing i think you need to remember is that it is customary in mario kart games to do a new version of rainbow road in every new game, which does explain why they didn't put N64 rainbow road in the game.
I would suggest that if you do want to review games i would try and take a more level headed, objective approach to it rather than ranting.

Yeah. I was on a rant when I made my first review on the game, and it was a pure rant. I'll keep the tips you recommended in mind. Thanks.

 

[RentCavalier]

The game is frustrating, yes--but every Mario Kart game has been. The ultimate key is, if you play this with a couple of your friends, do you have fun? Because, I was drunker then hell, swearing at this game to no end, calling it all sorts of nasty names, and I had a fucking blast with it.

I think that's all it boils down to.