For 5 minutes, you have the entire world's attention

[Felstaff]

"Dear peoples of the earth:

Humanity has transcended religion; it is an outmoded superstition that has been abused for power and control since its inception. Drop it all, now! You're actually living your life according to some guys telling you how to live your life, who lived in primitive civilisations between 1400 and 8000 years ago! Society has changed so much; would you listen to a guy from the 1980s? ("invest in shoulder pads and lycra. Seriously! It'll make you a million" ~~80s Guy). If you do follow a religion, it should be mine. I'm leader of a new religion called The Mono-commandmentists. We have one commandment: "don't be a dick. seriously." which sums up every religious doctrine ever ('cept Taoism). Reject faith, embrace science, decry superstition, and endorse logic.

Also, you guys should totally visit my website.

Thank you for your time,

~~Summer Glau

PS: Check out my new series on Fox, coming this Fall!"

 

[Mau95]

All your base are belong to us!

 

[Mr Fixit]

I'd say something like "I am your god, worship me or die" or maybe something completely stupid like "Sneeches" and then run around laughing like an idiot......

 

[Abedeus]

"Whoever mails me more money in the next 3 minutes gets a minute of world-wide ad in world-wide prime time without any other ads running anywhere. In the entire world. For 5 minutes. START NOW BITCHES"

 

[xdiesp]

If you have such power as forcing an entire planet to listen to you, it would be logical to assume by them you could do much worse. Scare them, send them into paranoia in order to follow your agenda.

 

[XAdrianX]

Moon them. MOON THEM ALL!

(someone probably already said that though)

 

[Ti0k0]

[http://imageshack.us//my-images/80/47231.jpg/]

 

[Simeon Ivanov]

Fluttershy is best pony. Anyone who disagrees will be skinned alive and his still bleeding body will be buried in the sand of the Sahara desert. You have been warned.

 

[Atsumi_Warrior]

I honestly would get my dick out and start howling like a monkey while playing with my self. Screaming at people who tried to get my off stage.
Why? because its better to be known as the guy who got his dick out and started playing with himself on live Tv. than the guy who stood there and said some boring shit about some boring problem.

 

[Thespian]

I've spent so much time actually thinking of what to say if I was given that opportunity, but I just KNOW that if it ever happened I'd just go
"Uhh yeah, have you people ever even THOUGHT about like, what you do and stuff? Because like, War is just... Okay, did you ever see that episode of Samurai Jack where like, he has to fight the archers and like, oh shit one minute left, well anyway he blows up the well and I think we should all do that more and climate change bros, the fuck is up there I mean for real."

 

[IPunchWithMyFists]

I have ALWAYS dreamed of this.

"I hope you understand how much everyone on this planet sucks, especially people who will convince themselves I am obviously omitting them from this statement! ESPECIALLY you! You suck! I hope you understand how terrible you are and how much I, and most everyone one the planet, wants to see you drown! Also, check out my new book! Coming out sometime in 2013, I'm guessing. It's gonna be awesome. Thanks!"

 

[BlackStar42]

[http://imageshack.us//my-images/80/47231.jpg/]

Oh, you motherf-

Yeah. Anyway. I'd probably just start singing as badly as possible and demand money for shutting up. I'd be seriously rich.

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

I think I'll let Charlie Chaplin handle this one...

 

[guitarsniper]

"hey, world, me here. do me a favor. go find somebody near you, doesn't matter who, but it's better if it's someone who you don't really know or like, and give them a hug."

 

[Scizophrenic Llama]

If I somehow had the means to get everybody in the world to notice me for five minutes, then I'd have the means to convince them to send me lots and lots of money too.

 

[targren]

"You're all drooling, mouth-breathing imbeciles, and when the asteroid hits and wipes out all human life, nothing of value will be lost. Screw you, die in a fire, and god bless."

Well, either that, or...

"The Game."

 

[Letitha]

"Leeeeroy... Jenkins!

No, come on, let's be serious:

Let's increase the tax on anyone who makes way too much for doing nothing, such as* bankers, footballers and celebrity models... No, make that last one ALL celebrities (which I guess includes footballers...). Let's decrease tuition fees again and take away non means-tested education grants. Oh, and let's start thinking about the people who are actually, properly poor such as the people living in LEDCs, yeah, that might be good. And the environment - did you know that if you put 9 square miles of solar panels into the Nevada desert, the Sahara desert and that desert in Australia *wink* (I suck at Geography) then you could power the entirety of the world all day every day?

Yeah. I guess that's all. I have a blog too...

~Someone who doesn't dare give anyone her name."



Though whoever was going to play Nyan Cat is epic. That made my day.

 

[TheScientificIssole]

I would get nervous, vomit, and then say "SET PHASERS TO FUN!"; it's a defense mechanism, don't ask.

 

[Foxpack1]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqXi8WmQ_WM

Greatest flash mob ever.